Adoption Thread

[ImperfectGirl]

Pricescope isn't cooperating with me right now, but I came by to say HELLO LADIES!! I have to get ready to pick up the twins from preschool, but I'm going to make an effort to come by more. Charles is starting to sleep and nap on a more consistent basis, so I might get a little daddy time. And, we're on day THREE of preschool. Savannah has a never met a stranger so she loves it, but Gray has major separation anxiety. Anyway, hello again and I hope everyone is doing well! I haven't even had a chance to read the updates!

So great to hear from you Penn!!! I'm so glad things are going well and hope we get to hear more from you soon!

 

[orbaya]

I've been following this thread, and it's exciting to read where you all are in your adoption processes!

As for me, our dossier is just about complete! We received our USCIS approval in 31 days which we surprised about. We have to travel to the Honduran Consulate to get a letter from them, and then our dossier will be off to Honduras!! From there, it will be translated into Spanish, reviewed and they will probably ask for additional information. They have done so with every family so far and so we don't expect to be any different.

It's good to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel after doing 6 months work of paperwork!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Oh IG-I am so glad that things are moving forward and hope that everything is smooth from here on out!

I had a major crying jag last night. The not knowing when I'll be coming home and being in Addis without DH is so frustrating (and our agency totally dropping the ball)! Sigh, hopefully' I'll have better news next week!

Bella it is totally normal to feel like this sometimes when you are a new mom! It will get better, every single day See, you may not have a bewborn, but you are getting to experience all the same emotions: joy, uncertainty, confusion, lonliness, happiness...

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks DD-I was expecting that, but DH leaving and me and B being in Africa for an unspecified amount of time pushed me over the edge I'm back to my usual self (though very ready to come home!).

Skype is helping B keep it together, though he can't wait to 'ride in airplane to New York to Daddy!"

After more than 5 weeks of unnecessary delays by our agency, our file is with the US Embassy and we are praying they issue B's visa in the next 2 weeks...I'll keep you posted.

Orbaya-So exciting the progress!!!

IG-Hope that Avery is here soon!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Bella you know you are not really a new mom until you spend some time crying in the shower Glad to hear things are moving forward!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks DD.

IG-I hope that all is going well for you!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Morning all!

Bella - thanks for thinking of me...things are good! How are you and B getting on? Any word since the file went to the US Embassay?

Orbaya - Awesome news!!! Can't wait to hear more about your journey!

Penn - Thinking of you and your family!

As for us...birth mom is 38w3d. We chatted yesterday and she seems to be doing well. Her Dr. is talking induction around the 28th (41w4d) if there is no baby by then so we decided that we'll leave on the 26th if she's still pregnant. It's getting close and I'm getting more nervous by the day but I keep telling myself that nothing I do or say will change the outcome so I should quit worrying so much...easier said than done though.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

IG-Wow, it is getting close. I can totally understand how you feel. One of the many reasons we chose intl adoption is b/c I don't think I have the fortitude to go through the domestic process. You are super woman (and your birthmom is superwoman too!) Adoption is so beautiful, but there is so much difficult feelings and processes as well.

We know the embassy has our file, but other than that, we are waiting...and waiting...and waiting...rainy season in Addis with a toddler and your husband on the other side of the world gets really boring (as much as I love spending time with B, there are very few playgrounds/parks, etc. plus it's rainy and muddy, so we're inside a lot!) Praying that we hear good news from the Embassy this week!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

BIRTHMOM IS IN LABOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL UPDATE WHEN I CAN!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Wow, congrats and good luck to you all!

 

[lliang_chi]

IG, good luck!!! Hopefully you'll be back soon with updates

Bella, how's your paper work issue? Hoping you're reunited with your DH soon.

 

[Puppmom]

Holy crap! Your post just made my day! Enjoy those first wonderful moments with your daughter. I can't wait to hear more!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Oh IG-I hope that you are holding Avery soon and that everything goes smoothly.

Best wishes to your birthmom too as she goes through the miracle of labor and the incredibly difficult and amazing decision to finalize the adoption.

No news from us, still waiting...

 

[AGBF]

DH left tonight, i tried to keep i together but pretty much cried like a baby--I guess that's kind of a mommy fail, but at this point if all three of us are alive and healthy and reunited in the US in the next 2 weeks I will consider that a huge success! B didn't cry, but pretty much understands (we've been explaining it to him over the past few days) and got really quiet. Praying that DH gets through to NY despite the hurricane rolling in and that things go smooth as silk for me and B over the next week wiht the submission of his file to the Embassy so that we can go home ASAP! The second we know that his visa is in progress I will be on the phone with our travel agent

Hi, Bella-

I read your more recent posts, then came back to see what was going on that had caused you to be left alone. Just continue to take it one day at a time. I was never totally alone in Colombia with my daughter, but one week I was there with without my husband and only had my elderly aunt with me. I got violently ill with both diarrhea and vomiting at once. Thank God for my aunt! She had to take care of the baby, who was not yet three months old and who needed her bottles and nipples sterilized and water for formula boiled in a place that had electricity only for a few hours a day!

I few home still sick and my aunt had the baby on her lap for the entire flight, which, luckily wasn't like flying from Ethiopia!

The truth is that somehow you will muddle through. And, as Dreamer says, all new mothers go through the blues. After a massive struggle to have a baby...the thing in life I most wanted....I remember feeling trapped! Once I had her securely back in the United States and was over the first few days of everyone being excited and celebrating I thought, "What did I do?". I think that their first baby is a shock for most people! Up until that point most decisions are reversible. But a baby is not. You can't return it. It will be there forever. When that first sinks it, it is kind of scary.

One of my friends told me she had a similar feeling during her first pregnancy. At first she was just excited and delighted, then she realized that that there was something inside her and that, one way or another, it was going to have to come out.

Children are not always a bowl of cherries, Bella! Being left alone with a toddler where he can't play outside with other children is a fate no mother would want! Hang in there!

Hugs,
Deb

 

[AGBF]

BIRTHMOM IS IN LABOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL UPDATE WHEN I CAN!

Best of luck, IG!!!

Hugs,
Deb

 

[AGBF]

(double post)

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thank AGBF-We're doing much better now, it's just stressful to be in a country with no idea when you are coming home and with your husband leaving in the middle of a hurricane If B's visa gets issued next week we'd be doing even better! (we need lots of prayers for this as it is still a huge unknown). I have to be back at work on Oct 3 (though I might have a little flexibility if we're stuck here it would be hard as our money is running out--12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave when you are the sole breadwinner, plus adoption expenses leave a big dent in the bank account!)

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Hi everyone!

Thanks for all the well wishes!! We arrived in MN yesterday around 5pm and went straight to the hospital. We we arrived, I laid eyes on the most beautiful baby girl and I just melted!!! Avery was born yesterday at 1:02pm. Weight = 6lbs 3oz. Length = 18 inches. She's a tiny peanut. We enjoyed a nice evening with birthmom and several members of her family. Everyone held the baby, took pictures, laughed and it felt very comfortable. The hospital gave us a room and at birthmom's insistence, Avery stayed with us during the night. I could not sleep! She was an angel but my brain just couldn't shut down.

Birthmom requested to go home today and barring anything unexpected at her 24 hr tests, Avery will be discharged today too. Today has been emotional for everyone but we've just stayed in the background to give birthmom all the time she needs before she leaves. She did give us power of attorney today. She has an appointment on Monday to sign the consent for adoption.

My mantra right now is one day/hour at a time. It's so difficult to not get attached to this little baby but I know that this is in no way a done deal. My heart goes out to our sweet birthmom because I know she is hurting. she keeps telling me that she knows in her heart she is making the right decision. I know that doesn't mean it's easy though. I think I've done enough crying for the rest of this year!

No pics until after the consent for adoption is signed, but trust me when I say she is gorgeous!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Oh, IG!!!!!!!!!! I will pray that this works out for you!!! I do hope that Avery is YOUR baby! I can't imagine how hard this must be. {{{{{hugs}}}}}}

 

[Rhea]

IG - Avery is such a beautiful name! I had a friend in HS with the same name.

It sounds like such a pleasant experience, all of you being there and hanging out together a bit. Good luck for Monday!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

IG, I'm so glad to hear the L&D went well and that right now, the whole family is comfortable with the decision. I can understand feeling reserved until Monday after everything you've been through, but I can't help but be very excited for you because I feel like this time is different. You are a very strong woman for going down this road and the birthmom is a very strong woman for being able to make this decision on behalf of Avery. I'm sure it must be a roller coaster ride for everybody, but so far, it sounds very good. I'll be checking in on Monday!

 

[stephbolt]

IG, I've been following your story for some time, I am so glad to hear of Avery's safe arrival. I am thinking of you and hoping everything goes smoothly on Monday. I'm glad your birthmom and her family all are so welcoming and supportive of her decision, I'm thinking of them as well and wishing them peace as they move forward with the adoption.

 

[lliang_chi]

IG, thanks so much for posting. Perfectly understandable you're waiting until Monday. It really sounds like everyone involved is making the absolute best decision for this precious girl, and it's so fortunate she can experience so much love immediately upon arrival. I'm keeping all fingers and toes crossed. I wish you all the love and luck in the world, and the birth mom peace in her heart and mind that she's giving Avery the best in life. Will be checking on you on Monday.

~LC

 

[iheartscience]

IG, how exciting! I hope everything goes smoothly with the adoption and you can bring Avery home.

 

[zoebartlett]

IG -- I'm SO happy for you and your husband. I know it's not a done deal yet but I can only imagine what you must be feeling. I'm curious about something but if you'd rather not answer, I understand. Is this an open adoption? Will you and the birth mom stay in touch?

Bella -- I hope you and B get to go home soon. He's adorable!

 

[AGBF]

Today has been emotional for everyone but we've just stayed in the background to give birthmom all the time she needs before she leaves.

My mantra right now is one day/hour at a time. It's so difficult to not get attached to this little baby but I know that this is in no way a done deal. My heart goes out to our sweet birthmom because I know she is hurting. she keeps telling me that she knows in her heart she is making the right decision. I know that doesn't mean it's easy though. I think I've done enough crying for the rest of this year!

No pics until after the consent for adoption is signed, but trust me when I say she is gorgeous!

I've commented on your grace before, IG. I think you were able to follow this particular path because you have such an abundance of it. I could never have gone this route. I hope that Avery is going to be all yours! I know you will get your baby!

Love,
Deb

 

[charbie]

IG: I am so overwhelmngly happy for you right now. I have big tears running down my face from reading your post, and hope this weekend can fly by for you and your DH so you can have Avery home with you as soon as possible. Cannot wait to see pics of your beautiful baby girl. Enjoy your first moments of mommyhood, you've earned it.

 

[lili]

IG--
My eyes welled w/ tears at your description of the day's event.
I am so happy for you and your husband.
Hope this weekend flies by Avery can go home with you guys.
Can't wait to see your sweet little angel.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

IG-I am so happy for you. Avery is so blessed to have so many people who love her! I hope that everything goes smoothly on Monday and she is officially your daughter. I know that whatever happens, everyone (you and your husband and the birthmom and her family) are making decisions out of their immense love for this little girl.

So excited for you!!!!

 

[nfowife]

IG, So excited for you and your family. Can't wait to hear more details. This is just the beginning of a lifetime of love, enjoy every moment!