Your thoughts on the "cake in the face" thing

[chickflick]

I have always diliked it when the bride and groom shove cake in each other''s faces and SWORE I wouldn''t do that on my wedding day. Of course, my fiancee thinks it''s hilarious and has threatened me about it- he thinks it''s just good fun but I think it''s a bit agressive and mean, and of course it ruins your make-up and your hair, right?

Am I being a big ol'' stick-in-the-mud or does anyone else feel the same way? I''m wondering if we need to just cut out the whole feeding-each-other-cake thing lest Jim not be able to resist the temptation to smear me with it. I think he''s just teasing me because he knows it bothers me but still... Anyone else have a similiar discussion or issue?

TIA!!

 

[Linda W]

When DH and I married 25 years ago, I told him how I felt. I detested the whole cake in the face thing too. When the time came, we fed eachother the cake very nicely. The pictures were beautiful, no smearing of cake. I really dislike the cake in the face. In my opinion it is a stupid thing to do and ruins pictures and makeup.

Linda

 

[Jelly]

You aren''t alone! Feeding each other cake is supposed to symbolize how you will take care of each other for the rest of your lives. Smashing it into your bride''s/groom''s face is making a mockery of the whole thing. Not to mention, YUCK!

 

[Kaleigh]

My husband and I were on the same page on this one. We didn''t like seeing the bride and groom smashing cake into each other''s mouths. We feed it to each other in a very nice way and it was kind of romantic when I think of it. But that was 20 years ago. We feel the same way about it today.

 

[codex57]

I think it''s hilarious. My wife didn''t, but on the day of the wedding, she got into it. We just aimed for the tip of the nose to avoid messing up her makeup and stuff. There were some great candid photos of us trying to hit each other. We only used a tiny bit of cream on our fingers.

 

[FireGoddess]

Just say NO! to cake in the face.

We fed it to each other very nicely. I think he was afraid I was going to smear his face, but there was no way that was gonna happen. Nuh-uh!

 

[blueroses]

This could be like a cash-bar thing where there are just 2 very different schools of thought, and one opinion could offend someone w/ a different idea.


Buuuuuuut.....that said, here are my thoughts on the "cake in face" thing:

HATE HATE HATE!!!! Tacky! Hostile! Yucky! Gauche! Bleah!


I went to one wedding where the groom lovingly dolloped a TINY drop of frosting on the bride''s nose and kissed/licked it right off. That''s the only time it''s felt "ok" to me. I mean, it''s really more about what the bride and groom want, but I think it''s kind of gross.

 

[LAJennifer]

To each his own - as long as the bride and groom are in TOTAL agreement. Outside of that I think it is very disrespectful. One friend of mine told her fiance that she didn''t want him to do it - and he DID! She cried and missed a whole hour of her reception to have her makeup re-done. I feel so strongly about it that I would seriously have the marriage annulled if my fiance did this to me. I''m not kidding.

 

[KristyDarling]

Yes, to each his own!

Personally, my "own" is that the cake-smashing thing is akin to the electric slide and chicken dance. Embarrassingly painful to watch. I know that some people love the goofiness of it though.

 

[genette]

I too hate the cake in the face. Why spend about a year to plan your magical day and making sure you look your absolute best only to be covered in cake. Such a waste and its so distasteful and tacky. This should be saved for another day and not the wedding day!

 

[Mara]

i think it just depends on the couple! if you both love it, then fab, do it. but it wasn't for us...not because of the makeup or hair thing but it just seemed not like us at all. we didn't really talk about it, but then the day of we were like should we, shouldn't we..etc...and then i was like nah lets not, and he was teasing me saying he was going to but of course he didn't. we have great pictures 'feeding' each other cake.

i'm really not into the whole cake smeared picture face thing either...hehee. but if people do it and they both laugh about it, typically it seems like guests love it too. i think that it just depends on the couple!

 

[flopkins]

I think it''s cute when they do a little dab on the nose or something. But not so much of a fan of the ''smash it all in your face'' thing. ugh.

we got around it by having ice cream instead! hehe... yum..

 

[jewelryjunkie]

My husband and I agreed, no cake in the face. It''s fun to feed each other without it getting violent, and frankly, our guests would have been uncomfortable watching us smash each other with food.

Cake in the face is only fun if both the bride and groom want to do it.

And if you want to smear each other with food, there''s always the wedding night.

 

[MINE!!]

NOPE NOPE NOPE!! Dh and I agreed that it was tacky and not a good thing.

 

[diamondfan]

I think, like others have said, a little playful dab is okay if both people agree. I explicitly told my dh to be that I did not want cake mushed in my face...I would NOT be happy. My friend''s hubby did it to her and she was pissed, ran out of the room crying and did not want to come back for a long time. I think you have to respect someone''s feelings on this and not just do what you want no matter what!

 

[Faerievert]

I told him I''d walk out on the wedding if he tried it! I''m about as anti-cake-smearing as you can be. We fed each other very nicely, but we used the bride/groom strawberry cake toppers. We cut a piece of cake too, but didn''t feed it to each other until later in the evening on our own, not for pictures.

 

[RoseAngel04]

Aw...well I do agree that smashing each other''s faces with cake is inappropraite I think that I little dab on the nose and a kiss or lick to get it off is playful and sweet. But cake all over the face or in hair is not for me.

 

[Tybee]

not kind,
not playful.

 

[monarch64]

We were definitely one of those couples who didn''t want to do the cake smearing thing. I''m SO glad we didn''t--we had beautiful pictures of us cutting and serving our cake to each other, and we actually got that chance to taste the wedding cake! Shortly after we made the cut, took some pics, we found ourselves posing for even more pictures with the wedding party. I''m glad we got that moment to be sweet to each other without anyone laughing at our expense, and it was something we''d both agreed upon before it happend.

Btw, I have NEVER enjoyed watching couples smear cake all over each others'' face, but it is definitely a personal preference. Some couples are cut out for it, and some aren''t. Today when I go to a wedding, I just focus on something else if there is a tradition going on that I don''t care for...and I''m only 29 with a lot more weddings to go, lol!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Ummm...I just asked FI how he felt about this and am thankful to say he says he will not smash any cake in my face. I think he knows how upset I would be. Let''s just say the chances he would get lucky AFTER pulling a stunt like that would not be in his favor.

 

[Rebemdee]

Thinking back, we never discussed the issue, and fed the cake to each other with forks. We''re both older, and had a small intimate gathering, and smashing baked goods into each other''s nostrils just didn''t seem to fit with the theme of the day, which was celebrating a union born of respect and love.

 

[Lorelei]

Just thought you might be interested to know we don''t do cake in the face in the UK. Part of the reason could be is that traditional wedding cake here is a solid fruit cake ,which sticks to your ribs

with hard icing - it wouldn''t squish satisfactorily anyway

 

[fountainfairfax]

This is such a loaded issue....does anyone know situations where the bride said she was totally against it, the groom agreed and then the BRIDE did it to the groom! My sister did this, her husband was a pretty good sport about it but I would''ve been pissed!

Funny little story: after my divorce the first guy I dated was a crazy actor, it was going nowhere (my rebound thing, I was moving out of state) but he told me he wanted to marry me. I laughed it off and played that "when we get married" game. When it came to the cake in the face conversation I said no way, he said he''d have to, it''s so funny, wacky and cute, and I never saw him again after that. That conversation just killed it for me

And Rebemdee brought up the fork thing....my ex & I used forks to feed each other, I think the staff handed them to us. There were so many people who saw some candids my mom took and couldn''t believe we used forks...is that really uncommon?

 

[anchor31]

Some people seem to find it funny... But I certainly don''t. I''ve even seen "funny videos" where the groom smashed the cake in the bride''s face and then thenbride smashed it "you know where" on the groom''s pants!!

Talk about tacky and vulgar humour...

I think my FF would be the type to tease me about it when we''ll talk about it

, but he wouldn''t do it, especially if I tell him how much I''d be upset. I think we''ll ask to use forks anyway, I don''t like to eat with my fingers!

 

[allycat0303]

I didn''t even know it was a tradition until very recently. I found out about some other weird traditions too. I think because I''m asian I''m a little out of touch.

So I talked about it a while back with my boyfriend, and he said he would NEVER do that, cause I''d head to the nearest court house to get an annullment. I think it''s food-fightish and I think those are in poor taste, never mind when you''re in front a hundred guests and looking the best you''ll ever look.

But I''m ultra conservative. I also heard this thing where the higher you go to get the garter, the more years together. Oh my GOSH. My asian/Mormon family would die of mortification. SO it all depends on your comfort level, but I think those details should be discussed before hand. And no breaking the agreement!!

 

[JCJD]

When I fed J the cake I just teased him with it. I held it up in front of his mouth, but when he came forward to eat it I just slightly pulled it away a couple times before I let him eat it. The crowd got a real kick out of it and it''s my favorite part of the reception video - it was very "Us" and cute. He did get a tiny bit of frosting on my cheek, but only because he practically pushed the cake into my mouth!

See? Cute right?

I was at a wedding where the bride and groom were so determined at smashing each other''s faces the bride still had icing in her eyelashes at the end of the reception. Not exactly my cup of tea, but they seemed to have fun. To each their own, like everyone else has already said.

 

[chickflick]

JCJD, that is adorable! Very cute!

I feel much better after reading all of the posts and seeing that so many of you agree with me. Jim loves, loves, LOVES to tease me, and will be teasing me about this for the next seven weeks until our wedding day. I''m 99.999999% certain that when the time comes he''ll act like he''s going to do something, then nicely feed me the cake. He''s actually very considerate and sweet- he just has that little boy thing where he loves to get a reaction out of me. All in love.

And I liked the suggestion of saving the food stuff for the wedding night!!

 

[selflove]

Date: 6/14/2006 8:11:21 PM
Author: Jelly
You aren''t alone! Feeding each other cake is supposed to symbolize how you will take care of each other for the rest of your lives. Smashing it into your bride''s/groom''s face is making a mockery of the whole thing. Not to mention, YUCK!

I couldn''t agree more!!!!

I told DH how I felt and that if he smashed cake in my face there''d be no wedding night sex and I''d get the marriage annulled if that was how he showed all our friends and family how he would care for me.

At both weddings we fed each other very lovingly and it was yummy!

 

[codex57]

Date: 6/15/2006 11:32:22 AM
Author: JCJD

See? Cute right?

That photo is the EXACT reason why I like cake in the face. I love photos like that. Otherwise, every pic is so posed and stuff. You gotta have candids where it shows you guys are having fun.

Then again, my definition of cake in the face was at most a little dab on the nose or something. Makeup is easily fixed. Definitely no full on face smash like the stooges. A bit of cake on the tip of the nose won''t hurt. Especially on the guy who most likely isn''t wearing makeup.

 

[VuittonGal]

I agree with you! I don''t like having cake shoved in my face--especially on my wedding day! I feel like I spent all that time and money getting ready and I don''t want something like cake in the face to ruin it!