You see a big stone on person A vs B: do you make assumptions on Lab vs mined?

[dumbo]

Interesting thought experiment.

Last week, in a middle-class area, I saw a mid 20's woman wearing a huge diamond: probably 6 carats and more or less colorless. It was a massive oval and looked great. But totally out of character for this shopping mall, what she was wearing, what she was driving...hair, makeup. All of it.

Last Saturday, wifey and I stopped by Neiman Marcus as she needed some makeup (they have great service BTW; we even got introduced to the store manager!). A couple enters the store; early 70's gentleman and his mid 30's wife; they stood next to us as while they said hi to our salespeson. OK, enough about the jokes there; we've all seen it. Yet she was a very attractive woman wearing great jewelry: what looked to be a thick diamond and gold Cartier cuff, Rolex Lady President, and 10 carat tennis bracelet. She was wearing a Balmain dress, Louboutins, and carrying a Birkin (my wife is a fan of these brands-the Birkin is on her holy grail list). She had a RBC diamond on, also 6 carats, looked to be G/H color.

It got me thinking: the first woman I'll assume had a lab grown diamond on. The second woman may or may not have had one on, but my mind went "wow, that's a helluva stone". She and her husband looked to be easily wealthy enough to afford such a stone.

For those of you who've seen this or are in this situation, do you use your perceived status and looks to "cheat" and wear lab-grown diamonds without anyone being the wiser? I can see lots of potential benefits: you can buy more jewelry in different cuts and styles than you normally may be able to afford, or you can wear pseudo-expensive jewelry without the risk of losing it or being robbed. If you are the other person and you wear jewelry that people assume you can't possibly afford, what are the reactions that you get?

I know; stereotyping isn't cool and as a consultant, I don't tend to jump to conclusions for a living. Yet, it does save time and there is something to be said for appearances.

 

[seaurchin]

My first thought would probably fit the "context clues," that the older, well-dressed woman's large diamond was more likely mined and the younger, less wealthy looking woman's large diamond was more likely lab created.

 

[0515vision]

I love that IRL, no one can tell. It’s everyone’s little secret, so leverage the hell outta life, as far as I’m concerned!

I live in LA, and there’s a large jewelry store in Studio City, close to plenty of high wealth folks. The lovely SR there loves telling everyone that one of her highest sales clients dresses as though she has the finances of an unemployed college dropout (except for all her mined jewelry). Everytime she comes in, she impulse buys mined x, mined y, and mined z. It’s her thing.

No one has to know what I pay for anything. I put my look together, and that’s my business. It may seem incongruous to some and logical to others. If I enjoy wearing it, then that’s what counts.

In the end, whatever is mind clean is mind clean - be it lab vs mined, EV vs gas car, side piece vs faithful partner, go-to-the doctor vs refuse-to-have-that-thing-checked-out-no-matter-how-much-your kids/spouse/parents/friends-nag-you, etc.

I love that ppl are enjoying bigger stones, better cut stones, more stones, whatever they want. I’m all about the democratization of diamonds bc otherwise I can’t join the party.

Fun thought experiment, @dumbo!

 

[phoenixgirl]

I've been a member here for 20 years, so obviously I love diamonds! Always have, always will.

However, I have never loved the price. When we got engaged, we used my grandmother's diamond from a dinner ring. 1.1 carats was larger than most of my friends' stones and seemed flashy.

For our 10th anniversary, our circumstances had changed and we could afford a $10k+ ring. I got the OEC in my profile picture. However, I've always liked diamonds for their sparkle/mesmerizing quality; I don't own luxury cars or bags or do plastic or cosmetic surgery. I rarely even wear any makeup. I don't dye my hair. We don't belong to a country club or send our kids to private school. Etc etc. (Not that I'm completely austere - we do spend quite a bit on travel and own a second home.)

I'm personally not trying to use diamonds as a status symbol, and I feel more self-conscious than anything if I'm wearing a lot of money on my fingers and ears. So for me, lab diamonds are a real treat. I can have my sparkly baubles without the hefty price tag.

That's not to say that there's anything wrong with displaying status. Like a peacock's feathers, it's a very natural instinct when one lives in a society and it can be useful for being treated with more respect and honor. If I see a person who doesn't seem like they have a spare $50K wearing a large diamond I guess I'll register it, but I'll probably just shrug my shoulders since very little of luxury item acquisition interests me and I'm probably equally nonplussed by their shoes, purse, fake boobs, etc.

Conversations overheard in my home:

Husband: I'm thinking of getting a new car/phone, but yours is older than mine. Do you want a new car/phone?
Me: Why? No.

Really, it's always been a shame that the diamond supply was artificially reduced and the prices jacked up. I'm glad to see that changing.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

Last August I saw a young mom with two kids sporting a huge diamond at the Calumet County Fair. This is a farming community, you probably fed livestock that morning (and dressed like you did) and if you had $100,00 to $200,00 you bought a huge tractor, not a diamond ring. Pretty sure it was lab grown. I thought, rock on sister, celebrate your family and union. This is the new industry.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I am eagerly awaiting the academic theses about how social class and other cultural factors influence natural and lab diamond purchasing in the coming decades.

 

[dk168]

My first thought would probably fit the "context clues," that the older, well-dressed woman's large diamond was more likely mined and the younger, less wealthy looking woman's large diamond was more likely lab created.

+1.

For me personally, I mix earth-mined with LGD or simulant pieces.

The LGD and simulant pieces are of the size that I could afford to buy had they been made with earth-mined diamonds, EXCEPT for the 5ct heart cut Moissanite that I wear as a pendant.

KD

 

[maryjane04]

I am following this thread to see what everyone thinks. I think we subconsciously make assumptions.

I am like @phoenixgirl and don't wear makeup, clothes/bags/shoes etc don't really interest me.. and my only real love is for jewellery. That's not to say that I am dripping in diamonds, however if I was sporting a 5ct diamond I don't think anyone would even bat an eye hahaha, maybe they would think it's fake? Although I think with modern cut diamonds it might be more noticeable than an old cut?

 

[seaurchin]

It does seem like lab diamonds coming on the scene have tossed the whole diamond-status thing up in the air.

But then believable diamond substitutes like moissanite and CZs have been around forever anyway and they're far cheaper than lab diamonds. So why haven't they already created the toss-up we see now, with "working class" 25-year-olds commonly wearing 3 carat stones?

I wore a CZ wedding set for twenty years and am still trying to understand why we don't all just do that and save a zillion dollars (including myself now!)

When I figure it out, I will come back and report my findings.

 

[dumbo]

I am eagerly awaiting the academic theses about how social class and other cultural factors influence natural and lab diamond purchasing in the coming decades.

I read an article on The Atlantic recently that spoke with jewelers taking exchanges for engagement rings. The women exchanging these rings had gotten a big lab grown: they wanted something more "real" and mined, which I'm sure meant smaller, more color, and less clarity.

Even if the budget was $5k; these women interviewed would rather have a 1 carat I VS2 mined vs. a 3 carat F VVS1 lab grown. I'm sure that wearing a big lab grown when you otherwise don't look like someone who would wear a $50,000 piece of jewelry can make things seem costume-y for some. For others, it's fun and a great conversation piece!

 

[concun]

I am glad that we have this forum to share our thoughts. We may disagree but we will do so respectfully.
In general, I do not feel obligated to share where I get things and how much unless they ask with genuine interest. People make assumption and sometimes they said it out loud but I do not correct them because simply, they did not ask. I think our society put too much meaning into the face value of things. Just because someone wear sweatsuit doesn’t mean they are poorer than someone wear suits, same with lab vs mined diamonds, same with costume jewelry vs real gold jewelry. Everyone has his/her own priority and liking. I rock a Birkin on my wrist doesn’t make me feel lesser of my friend who wear a similar Birkin look by no name designer. Actually sometimes I even feel that she is smarter with her money than me.
So, I tell myself that I will admire the beauty of things as they appear to be and not draw any unnecessary conclusion from it. Life is short and beautiful.

 

[MeowMeow]

Personally? No not really. Whether or not a diamond could be lab or not barely crosses my mind. I'm too busy trying to look at the jewellery without looking like a crazy person lol. I just want to know if it's pretty! But if someone wants to share with me if we strike up a conversation if it's lab or not. I am always interested in both!

But maybe it's because I spent years living in a place where most people I saw, (including myself in this as i am a die hard athleisure girl lol) were very very casually dressed 24/7. I took it very much to heart when my friend who did work in a jewellery store said you just cannot judge a person by their clothes because half the time the raggedy looking person who came in was the one to spend lots of money with her. And the ones who looked more dressed up tended to spend less. Not always obviously but enough.
And I've gone by that ever since

 

[MMtwo]

I am eagerly awaiting the academic theses about how social class and other cultural factors influence natural and lab diamond purchasing in the coming decades.

This fascinates me too. Just as society created ways to signal social status in the past (coming out in society, multiple single-purpose silverware of the Victorian ages, an expensive car, and an expensive wife (or husband), without a doubt there will be an act two.

When I visited my friend (local jewelers and bench), he said he had quite a bit of return business trading the labs in for mined.

OP: I would draw that conclusion too, if I gave it thought.

 

[0515vision]

@dumbo, if you posted this in Rocky Talky, you’ll likely get some very interesting perspectives. I’ve noticed there are some PSers who stick completely to either to the RT or the LGD side of the forum.

Variety of opinions is healthy and good. Keeps the world spinning ‘round the sun.

 

[Austina]

I don’t assume anything, and it’s not really my business.

If people think Bella is not real, I don’t care. I don’t wear designer clothes, or carry a handbag costing thousands, so people have no ‘clue’ if I have money or not.

 

[0-0-0]

As long as it’s well cut I want to see everyone rocking big rocks!

 

[molecule]

With the influx of lab diamonds and alternative clear stones on the market, my focus has shifted from the cost of the item to the beauty and design of the ring.

 

[Karl_K]

I dont assume anything nor do I care.
More than one lady I have met in the millionaire class wore a lot of glass and paste as well as cz jewellery.
The pearls where probably the most expensive part and often generational.
Near unobtanium quality these days.

 

[oncrutchesrightnow]

These days I assume most newly purchased diamonds and gemstones are lab. Before lab diamonds became so common, I did not often make assumptions because of knowing so many PSers who would choose jewelry over other discretionary items. I once bought a ring with money saved from not going to Starbucks.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

Sitting in Starbucks with my jeweler a few months ago and he said, "Did you see the ring on the woman next to me? Someone thinks a lot of her." This is a bias I have and would like to lose. But while I was raised with it, it was never spoken, never articulated to me, not once. DeBeers. The advertising slogan of the 20th century.

 

[DAF]

I'd also be thinking that the older woman's diamond would be the earth mined stone and the younger one the lab grown

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

Interesting thought experiment.

Last week, in a middle-class area, I saw a mid 20's woman wearing a huge diamond: probably 6 carats and more or less colorless. It was a massive oval and looked great. But totally out of character for this shopping mall, what she was wearing, what she was driving...hair, makeup. All of it.

Last Saturday, wifey and I stopped by Neiman Marcus as she needed some makeup (they have great service BTW; we even got introduced to the store manager!). A couple enters the store; early 70's gentleman and his mid 30's wife; they stood next to us as while they said hi to our salespeson. OK, enough about the jokes there; we've all seen it. Yet she was a very attractive woman wearing great jewelry: what looked to be a thick diamond and gold Cartier cuff, Rolex Lady President, and 10 carat tennis bracelet. She was wearing a Balmain dress, Louboutins, and carrying a Birkin (my wife is a fan of these brands-the Birkin is on her holy grail list). She had a RBC diamond on, also 6 carats, looked to be G/H color.

It got me thinking: the first woman I'll assume had a lab grown diamond on. The second woman may or may not have had one on, but my mind went "wow, that's a helluva stone". She and her husband looked to be easily wealthy enough to afford such a stone.

For those of you who've seen this or are in this situation, do you use your perceived status and looks to "cheat" and wear lab-grown diamonds without anyone being the wiser? I can see lots of potential benefits: you can buy more jewelry in different cuts and styles than you normally may be able to afford, or you can wear pseudo-expensive jewelry without the risk of losing it or being robbed. If you are the other person and you wear jewelry that people assume you can't possibly afford, what are the reactions that you get?

I know; stereotyping isn't cool and as a consultant, I don't tend to jump to conclusions for a living. Yet, it does save time and there is something to be said for appearances.

We will see a lot more of them as growing larger stones is becoming easier and they will soon be cheaper per carat than smaller stones. Currently there is an oversupply of +3ct.
Your 6ct lady will be crying when we see good quality +6ct retailing for under $3,000.
With the online mark ups and margins applied to natural diamonds this would be the case right now if LGDs were not still trading of natural diamonds.

 

[dumbo]

@dumbo, if you posted this in Rocky Talky, you’ll likely get some very interesting perspectives. I’ve noticed there are some PSers who stick completely to either to the RT or the LGD side of the forum.

Variety of opinions is healthy and good. Keeps the world spinning ‘round the sun.

I didn't think LGDs were allowed to be discussed there? I'd love to hear from people who mix and match.

 

[dumbo]

We will see a lot more of them as growing larger stones is becoming easier and they will soon be cheaper per carat than smaller stones. Currently there is an oversupply of +3ct.
Your 6ct lady will be crying when we see good quality +6ct retailing for under $3,000.
With the online mark ups and margins applied to natural diamonds this would be the case right now if LGDs were not still trading of natural diamonds.

Wow, that's crazy to think that these big stones will be so ridiculously cheap. I'll have to get my wife a big well-cut 8 carat LGD just for fun when prices hit that level. She gets mesermized just looking at her E-ring and it's much smaller. I'd love to see finances on some of these diamond growers. I can't imagine that equipment is cheap; because the equipment is available to all however and there is no product scarcity, prices were bound to be driven to the floor. It's the same story in the legalized cannabis industry. All these growers thought they would get black market prices for their weed, but once it was legalized and professionalized, prices dropped like a rock. Diamonds may not have been "black market" but by being sold in a cartel-like environment, prices were propped up by artifical scarcity.

Those that buy big stones for status will probably move to another item. Not unlike other changes we've seen in the past 20 years. Owning a Louis Vuitton bag was a big deal. Now you rarely see them in high-end places. When I was a kid, owning a Mercedes was a big status symbol. Now, the C class is the most repossessed car in America! However, the G-Wagon or an E-class AMG wagon still is. Fun fact: I read somewhere that the household income of buyers of the E-class wagon is the highest for any car Mercedes sells. To the average person, it's just a station wagon.

 

[0515vision]

I didn't think LGDs were allowed to be discussed there? I'd love to hear from people who mix and match.

I guess you're right. Labs discussion aren't allowed over there. But there are definitely PSers there who mix & match. Also, a discussion over there would give you more opinions of social perception. If you go on the assumption that Person A had a lab and Person B had a mined, you're still talking about miners ... but no need to cause trouble.

You mentioned cars and purses above. Some ppl like social status symbols and some don't. And of the status symbols, not everyone likes all of them.

Diamonds, however, have held appeal through the ages. I doubt some people who love large mined bling will be dissuaded by the simultaneous presence of large lab bling. And by large I mean the 10+ct crowd. I only see them through social media, but it sure would be interesting to hear from them.

 

[dumbo]

I guess you're right. Labs discussion aren't allowed over there. But there are definitely PSers there who mix & match. Also, a discussion over there would give you more opinions of social perception. If you go on the assumption that Person A had a lab and Person B had a mined, you're still talking about miners ... but no need to cause trouble.

Thanks-I'll post over there when I get a chance. I'm always interested in social geography and sociology (engineer by training, now a business consultant) and how/why cohorts of people think and perceive the way in the way that they do.

 

[cushioncutnut]

I am a server at a local famous Cincinnati chili place. I have a 3.64 EC LGD ring with 1ctw sidestones. I worried about wearing it at work because I thought people may judge me and not tip so well. I decided to rock it and wear it especially after my co-worker received an over 3ct Oval LGD with gorgeous paved diamond bands for her Christmas that she wears to work. I also believe that people see me working hard and are happy for me that I am able to afford the jewelry I wear. I often get lots of compliments. It really is all walks of life that choose to wear the jewelry they do for many different reasons. I have alot of jewelry that is Earth Mined, LGD, Moissanite, Cz, costume jewelry, junky cheap jewelry, you name it! I mix and match on any given day as my jewelry is my wardrobe. Great post and it does give some food for thought. I would agree with your OP.

 

[Sunrises Sunsets]

I'm at a great point in my life, I'm happy to see people living their lives as they wish and it's none of my business what they think of me.

I wish those beautiful diamonds would have come along when I was a little younger, I'd be enjoying them.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Sitting in Starbucks with my jeweler a few months ago and he said, "Did you see the ring on the woman next to me? Someone thinks a lot of her." This is a bias I have and would like to lose. But while I was raised with it, it was never spoken, never articulated to me, not once. DeBeers. The advertising slogan of the 20th century.

I am not a fan of evolutionary psychology in the slightest, but there is a fair bit of research along these lines out there:



(Note that men making totally surprise proposals are very uncommon, so its funny they generalize from this small subgroup of men to all men and women. Its also funny how they just assume "younger" = more valuable mate! Ah gotta love the sexist assumptions of evo psych).

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

It's the same story in the legalized cannabis industry. All these growers thought they would get black market prices for their weed, but once it was legalized and professionalized, prices dropped like a rock. Diamonds may not have been "black market" but by being sold in a cartel-like environment, prices were propped up by artifical scarcity.

Great analogy.

The propped up prices is another matter. De Beers maintained a relatively consistent price for the benefit of it and the miners it sold diamonds for as an agent.
This also benefited the owners of diamonds in the pipeline to enable secure finance etc.
Finally, it maintained the value perception of the consumers.
It was a truly benevolent use of a monopoly.
The only charge of misuse as a monopoly concerned industrial diamonds. and that was an entirely different matter and is where the only charges were upheld over De Beers (wrongly as it happened).