You come face to face with your DH''s mistress...

[purselover]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:57:04 PM
Author: sba771
This actually sort of happened to my mom. At this point my father had actually left my mom for his...well I have a special word for her, and it was my college graduation. He was only invited because he paid my way through school and I did feel it was his right. She and their love child tagged along. My mom being AWESOME and my hero and the most incredible lady invited both the woman and child to my graduation dinner because apparently the mistress was uncomfortable having my dad be in my mom''s presence without her. My mom sat there across from her with her head held high. She did want to say, ''so how did you meet?'' but she, being the classy lady, just was polite. In turn my dad''s mistress spent the entire day prior to the dinner in the bathroom dealing with some stomach issues brought on my the stress of meeting the woman she wronged and she also squirmed throughout dinner, it was interesting. This was also my first time meeting her...I drank 4 martinis to get through it. In the end my mom won and I was proud of her.

Your mom sounds awesome! Good for her for showing such class through an awkward situation.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:40:31 PM
Author: Dee*Jay
My first choice is actually not there: Confuse the he!! out of her! Be just as friendly as all get out. Let her know I know, but hey, we''re all of the sisterhood here, maybe we should have coffee or something some time? Perhaps even do a girls spa weekend! (Of course who knows who HE would be screwing around with while we''re out of town, but what the hey!). Or, better yet, have a nice dinner and some drinks after I file the divorce paperwork!

Seriously, if they think you''re crazy you have an upper hand.

I love it. It would also confuse the cheating DH too.

I think that falls under calm. Zen. -- get her later.

 

[kenny]

I would simply walk away from the other party.
They don't matter.

The only conversation I'd have would be with my SO.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Date: 3/24/2010 2:00:32 PM
Author: TooPatient

Date: 3/24/2010 1:40:31 PM
Author: Dee*Jay
My first choice is actually not there: Confuse the he!! out of her! Be just as friendly as all get out. Let her know I know, but hey, we''re all of the sisterhood here, maybe we should have coffee or something some time? Perhaps even do a girls spa weekend! (Of course who knows who HE would be screwing around with while we''re out of town, but what the hey!). Or, better yet, have a nice dinner and some drinks after I file the divorce paperwork!

Seriously, if they think you''re crazy you have an upper hand.

I love it. It would also confuse the cheating DH too.

I think that falls under calm. Zen. -- get her later.

I belive in karma -- I won''t have to ger her, the *universe* will get her/him/them later for me!

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:56:01 PM
Author: doodle
DeeJay, you remind me of a story with my friend, Z. She and her bf of about five years just broke up, and only a couple of weeks later, he already had a new girlfriend (Z still hadn''t finished moving all her stuff out of their place yet when the new girl already had hers in, and Z''s name was still on the lease!), so what did my friend do? She showed up, let herself in (like I said, he wouldn''t sign the papers letting her out of their lease), walked in on the two of ''em, smiled sweetly, and left a pair of handcuffs, Trojans, and a box of tampons on the coffee table ''just in case'', then told the girl, ''Good seeing you, sweetie. I''m SO glad you don''t mind getting my leftovers.''

 

[doodle]

Anyone ever heard the song, "Hit ''Em Up Style" by Blu Cantrell? Link

 

[Dee*Jay]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:56:01 PM
Author: doodle
DeeJay, you remind me of a story with my friend, Z. She and her bf of about five years just broke up, and only a couple of weeks later, he already had a new girlfriend (Z still hadn't finished moving all her stuff out of their place yet when the new girl already had hers in, and Z's name was still on the lease!), so what did my friend do? She showed up, let herself in (like I said, he wouldn't sign the papers letting her out of their lease), walked in on the two of 'em, smiled sweetly, and left a pair of handcuffs, Trojans, and a box of tampons on the coffee table 'just in case', then told the girl, 'Good seeing you, sweetie. I'm SO glad you don't mind getting my leftovers.'

What're the lyrics to that country song? Something about "anywhere he goes is somewhere I've already been"... ? (Obviously this was a man talking, not a woman, but you get the point!)

 

[sba771]

Date: 3/24/2010 2:00:00 PM
Author: purselover

Date: 3/24/2010 1:57:04 PM

Author: sba771

This actually sort of happened to my mom. At this point my father had actually left my mom for his...well I have a special word for her, and it was my college graduation. He was only invited because he paid my way through school and I did feel it was his right. She and their love child tagged along. My mom being AWESOME and my hero and the most incredible lady invited both the woman and child to my graduation dinner because apparently the mistress was uncomfortable having my dad be in my mom''s presence without her. My mom sat there across from her with her head held high. She did want to say, ''so how did you meet?'' but she, being the classy lady, just was polite. In turn my dad''s mistress spent the entire day prior to the dinner in the bathroom dealing with some stomach issues brought on my the stress of meeting the woman she wronged and she also squirmed throughout dinner, it was interesting. This was also my first time meeting her...I drank 4 martinis to get through it. In the end my mom won and I was proud of her.

Your mom sounds awesome! Good for her for showing such class through an awkward situation.

Thank you! She is my role model and Tgal I laugh because the funny thing is they now live in NC and were there having the affair while he was married to my mom who was in another state. Recently there were threats to the divorce settlement and I joked to my mom that she could always sue the woman since it was in NC if my dad tries to contest anything!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I''d shank the b*tch!


Kidding. I''d probably ignore her. If he''s cheating on me then she can have him. I''ll happily pass along the used goods.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 3/24/2010 2:06:24 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 3/24/2010 1:56:01 PM
Author: doodle
DeeJay, you remind me of a story with my friend, Z. She and her bf of about five years just broke up, and only a couple of weeks later, he already had a new girlfriend (Z still hadn't finished moving all her stuff out of their place yet when the new girl already had hers in, and Z's name was still on the lease!), so what did my friend do? She showed up, let herself in (like I said, he wouldn't sign the papers letting her out of their lease), walked in on the two of 'em, smiled sweetly, and left a pair of handcuffs, Trojans, and a box of tampons on the coffee table 'just in case', then told the girl, 'Good seeing you, sweetie. I'm SO glad you don't mind getting my leftovers.'

What're the lyrics to that country song? Something about 'anywhere he goes is somewhere I've already been'... ? (Obviously this was a man talking, not a woman, but you get the point!)

Not sure about that one.

I've always like Aaron Tipin's "Kiss This" ("Now me and you, we're through.... Kiss this, and I don't mean on my rosy red lips...")

ETA: corrected cheeks to lips

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:33:17 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/24/2010 1:32:09 PM

Author: whitby_2773

great thread, TGal!

it''d depend if i still loved him or not.

if i loved him, i think seeing her would break my heart, because ''she'' was what he wanted, and not me. i''d walk away feeling destroyed.

but if i didn''t love him, i''d be more likely to walk up to her and say:

''Congratulations. You just won yourself a reeeeeeeeeeal dog. Oh - and by the way - don''t count on the money.''

(i have a family half full of attorneys)

Definitely...the scenario is that you love the guy. If you didn''t, I''m assuming you''d be divorced, or finding your own fling! (Kidding.)

ok. if she''s the mistress and i''m the wife, then i''m assuming we''re still married. and their affair is still ongoing. a bit of a john edwards/eliot spitzer scenario....

i can understand still loving a man who cheats. but i can''t understand still being married to him. so the only way this scenario would play out would be if i encountered her while going through a divorce because of her.

i think i''d just be broken hearted. i wouldn''t ''stay and hold my ground'' - there''s no point to be made here. if i still loved him, and my marriage was over, i think i''d just be hurt. seeing her wouldn''t help. i think a lot of women would just go away and cry. it''d be a while till i could get over something like that - but i ultimately would. there''s no witty comment or swinging punch or revengeful plot that''d help the pain of losing someone you loved because they felt they''d found something better...

gees that sounds pathetic and tragic, doesn''t it? but - as terri garr said in Tootsie - "i just have to feel like this until i don''t feel like this any more!"

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Ok, I wouldn''t be as nice as DeeJay hehe.. But I''d totally kill her with kindness. I think that would make her all the more miserable.

 

[JSM]

No words, just a single punch to the face, then walk away for good. I don't have the energy to go all out and destroy lives - just one good hit would make me feel better. I don't know what this says about me...

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

She would be blind and demented--thus I would offer her immediate medical assistance!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/24/2010 2:14:30 PM
Author: jsm
No words, just a single punch to the face, then walk away for good. I don''t have the energy to go all out and destroy lives - just one good hit would make me feel better. I don''t know what this says about me...

vag punch and then when she''s on the floor rolling around in pain yelling "WHY, OH GOD WHY?" respond with "YOU KNOW WHY!!!"

 

[Shoopy]

If we did not know each other, I wouldn''t bother exchanging words.

If I did know her, there would be words exchanged. It wouldn''t be a calm exchange but it also wouldn''t be an "omg what the heck is going on over there??" kind of scene.

 

[princesss]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:57:04 PM
Author: sba771
This actually sort of happened to my mom. At this point my father had actually left my mom for his...well I have a special word for her, and it was my college graduation. He was only invited because he paid my way through school and I did feel it was his right. She and their love child tagged along. My mom being AWESOME and my hero and the most incredible lady invited both the woman and child to my graduation dinner because apparently the mistress was uncomfortable having my dad be in my mom''s presence without her. My mom sat there across from her with her head held high. She did want to say, ''so how did you meet?'' but she, being the classy lady, just was polite. In turn my dad''s mistress spent the entire day prior to the dinner in the bathroom dealing with some stomach issues brought on my the stress of meeting the woman she wronged and she also squirmed throughout dinner, it was interesting. This was also my first time meeting her...I drank 4 martinis to get through it. In the end my mom won and I was proud of her.

Good for your mom!

I''d like to be able to do something like that. The truth is, I''d be too much of a crumbling mess to do anything but cry.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I wouldn''t care about the mistress at all. She owes me nothing personally, aklthough she is breaking a social taboo. Now, the husband - the man who voluntarily swore to remain faith to me - now he would pay.

 

[MonkeyPie]

As satisfying as attacking her and ripping her hair out would be, I''d rather plot. And put a LOT of sugar in her gas tank...and slash her tires...and punch a hole in her window to put a raccoon in...

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 3/24/2010 2:05:19 PM
Author: doodle
Anyone ever heard the song, ''Hit ''Em Up Style'' by Blu Cantrell? Link

OMG YES.

 

[FrekeChild]

I feel like I wrote number 5. Thanks TGal, for extracting my thoughts from my brain.

 

[trillionaire]

I''m not one for confrontation... but I''m naturally inclined to plot destruction and sabotage

So, all bets are off as to whether I would keep it pushing (the reasonable side of me) or destroy her life, slowly, from a distance. I have a good friend, and we plan these sorts of things whenever the need arises (always her need, never mine). We are quite good at it, after years of practice

I also do ''consultations'' for other friends, who invariably declare me crazy and tell me that FI needs to be careful.

My mother told me that the first thing that you should establish in a marriage is that you are crazy, so that your partner never has to wonder.

I love my mom...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:40:31 PM
Author: Dee*Jay
My first choice is actually not there: Confuse the he!! out of her! Be just as friendly as all get out. Let her know I know, but hey, we''re all of the sisterhood here, maybe we should have coffee or something some time? Perhaps even do a girls spa weekend! (Of course who knows who HE would be screwing around with while we''re out of town, but what the hey!). Or, better yet, have a nice dinner and some drinks after I file the divorce paperwork!

Seriously, if they think you''re crazy you have an upper hand.

i saw a friend of mine having dinner with his wife and his mistress.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/24/2010 2:26:45 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/24/2010 2:14:30 PM
Author: jsm
No words, just a single punch to the face, then walk away for good. I don''t have the energy to go all out and destroy lives - just one good hit would make me feel better. I don''t know what this says about me...

vag punch and then when she''s on the floor rolling around in pain yelling ''WHY, OH GOD WHY?'' respond with ''YOU KNOW WHY!!!''

I''m laughing so much that I''m crying. Seriously, you''re my new hero.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Ah, the song is "Diana" by Kenny Rogers!

Did you tell or must I tell him, Diana
Does it matter to that kind of man?
Any place he touches or kisses, Diana
Is some place I’ve already been.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Date: 3/24/2010 2:37:58 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/24/2010 1:40:31 PM
Author: Dee*Jay
My first choice is actually not there: Confuse the he!! out of her! Be just as friendly as all get out. Let her know I know, but hey, we''re all of the sisterhood here, maybe we should have coffee or something some time? Perhaps even do a girls spa weekend! (Of course who knows who HE would be screwing around with while we''re out of town, but what the hey!). Or, better yet, have a nice dinner and some drinks after I file the divorce paperwork!

Seriously, if they think you''re crazy you have an upper hand.

i saw a friend of mine having dinner with his wife and his mistress.

Well DF, this isn''t the same thing, but the XHH and the current boyfriend and I go out to dinner all the time. However the divorce is LONG final and the new man didn''t come on the scene until well after things were official. We all just appreciate a nice meal!

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 3/24/2010 2:26:45 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/24/2010 2:14:30 PM

Author: jsm

No words, just a single punch to the face, then walk away for good. I don''t have the energy to go all out and destroy lives - just one good hit would make me feel better. I don''t know what this says about me...

vag punch and then when she''s on the floor rolling around in pain yelling ''WHY, OH GOD WHY?'' respond with ''YOU KNOW WHY!!!''

vag punch??? TELL me you did not just say that??!!!??!!

 

[dragonfly411]

I voted one... I actually was cheated on by an ex bf.... and the girl and I saw each other several times after we both found out. She would try to act haughty like she was awesome. I simply acted like she didn''t even exist.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Yes, yes I did.

It''s actually an adjustment on a line from a movie (What Happens in Vegas). The actual line involved the term "junk punch;" however, since we''re talking about a woman and women don''t have "junk" I inserted "vag" instead. I can spell it out if the abbreviation bothers people

 

[dragonfly411]

HH - that''s awesome... I wish I had the guts you do hehehehe


speaking of spelling out. I had a friend once who would IM that word in big bold caps to me at random just because he wanted to drive me crazy.