You come face to face with your DH''s mistress...

[TravelingGal]

So the wife sues mistress thread got me thinking...what would you do if you found out DH had one and came face to face with her?

 

[doodle]

Okay, so based on the voting so far, I''m the crazy who is going to DESTROY her...DH, too, though. Hell hath no fury, as they say.

 

[Haven]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:23:21 PM
Author: doodle
Okay, so based on the voting so far, I''m the crazy who is going to DESTROY her...DH, too, though. Hell hath no fury, as they say.

I''m with you, doodle. If anyone ever needs backup, just let me know.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:23:21 PM
Author: doodle
Okay, so based on the voting so far, I''m the crazy who is going to DESTROY her...DH, too, though. Hell hath no fury, as they say.

That would be the answer I''d LIKE to say, but I don''t have the energy, and I don''t think I''m clever enough to figure out how to really destroy someone''s life....

I chose that I''d walk away. Not because I''d want to, but I am not sure what I''d REALLY do, which leads me to believe I''d walk away. The other possible answer is that I would be so overcome by fury I''d hiss at curse at her.

Let''s also say for argument''s sake, this is in a PUBLIC place. It''s not like you''ve gone to her house to find her, or found her in yours. I would imagine then the answers would be different. If I CAUGHT her in my place, I''d go for disfigurement as a first instinct.

 

[panda08]

I voted for choice #1. The other choices made me think of that show "Cheaters." I never understood why the men and women, who are confronted with their SOs and "other person," would attack the other person. If that happened to me, while I wouldn''t have the "warm fuzzies" for the other woman, surely, I would kick DH''s a** before I''d kick her''s.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:24:20 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 3/24/2010 1:23:21 PM
Author: doodle
Okay, so based on the voting so far, I''m the crazy who is going to DESTROY her...DH, too, though. Hell hath no fury, as they say.

I''m with you, doodle. If anyone ever needs backup, just let me know.

Haven, I know you''d do it so politely!

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:24:20 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 3/24/2010 1:23:21 PM
Author: doodle
Okay, so based on the voting so far, I''m the crazy who is going to DESTROY her...DH, too, though. Hell hath no fury, as they say.

I''m with you, doodle. If anyone ever needs backup, just let me know.

Add me in. Initially I think I''d want to attack both her and DH. The thought of anyone touching my husband makes me want to put my fist through a wall. However, I wouldn''t want to go to jail for assaulting someone, so I''d probably take the time to plot on another way to destroy her life that doesn''t involve physical violence.

 

[Haven]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:27:07 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/24/2010 1:24:20 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 3/24/2010 1:23:21 PM
Author: doodle
Okay, so based on the voting so far, I''m the crazy who is going to DESTROY her...DH, too, though. Hell hath no fury, as they say.

I''m with you, doodle. If anyone ever needs backup, just let me know.

Haven, I know you''d do it so politely!

Oh, yes.
It would be polite, and extremely painful. Yet still dignified.

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:23:21 PM
Author: doodle
Okay, so based on the voting so far, I''m the crazy who is going to DESTROY her...DH, too, though. Hell hath no fury, as they say.

I''m with you.

Ain''t too proud baby.

 

[Upgradable]

It was DH who debased himself...... I wouldn''t lower myself to their level. As Ivanna Trump said, "Don''t get mad. Get Everything!"

 

[Lauren8211]

Forget her. My husband would be on the receiving end of my rage.

I have no use for getting involved with the trash that gets involved with married men.

 

[whitby_2773]

great thread, TGal!

it''d depend if i still loved him or not.

if i loved him, i think seeing her would break my heart, because ''she'' was what he wanted, and not me. i''d walk away feeling destroyed.

but if i didn''t love him, i''d be more likely to walk up to her and say:

"Congratulations. You just won yourself a reeeeeeeeeeal dog. Oh - and by the way - don''t count on the money."

(i have a family half full of attorneys)

 

[kama_s]

I''d probably hold my head up high and walk past her without as much as a glance (also hope to God I don''t trip! knowing my luck though....). People like that are just not worth my time. That would also include the hypothetical husband btw.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:32:09 PM
Author: whitby_2773
great thread, TGal!

it''d depend if i still loved him or not.

if i loved him, i think seeing her would break my heart, because ''she'' was what he wanted, and not me. i''d walk away feeling destroyed.

but if i didn''t love him, i''d be more likely to walk up to her and say:

''Congratulations. You just won yourself a reeeeeeeeeeal dog. Oh - and by the way - don''t count on the money.''

(i have a family half full of attorneys)

Definitely...the scenario is that you love the guy. If you didn''t, I''m assuming you''d be divorced, or finding your own fling! (Kidding.)

 

[purselover]

I voted 1 - ultimately it would''ve been my DH''s mistake, he''s the one married to me and who messed up. A random woman owes me nothing, and flipping out on her isn''t going to change what happened and probably won''t make me feel any better long term. Short term sure, but long term yelling and hitting won''t make my marriage any better, and plotting against her would consume too much negative energy and inhibit me from moving on. In the end I''d just be hurting myself by wasting energy on revenge rather than fixing my marriage. I do believe that if DH cheated on me I would be to some extent responsible, a small extent but still there. The majority of people don''t cheat for no reason and it''s not the mistresses fault he did. He controls his own actions! It''d be nice if women or men never slept with other people''s spouses but they do and I can''t control that all I can do is try to have the best marriage I can to prevent that.

DH on the other hand would feel my wrath and I wouldn''t hesitate to yell at him, because to be honest he''d be the one I was really mad at not some random woman

 

[joflier]

I voted that I''d talk calmly. Honestly, I''d be wanting to know all about her. Why he cheated with HER? Was it because she''s prettier? Smarter? Funnier? Is she a nice person, or a nasty you-know-what? I wouldn''t get my b*tch on with her. What''s the point? SO would be the one I''d be angry with for deciding to cheat.

 

[yssie]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:32:44 PM
Author: kama_s
I''d probably hold my head up high and walk past her without as much as a glance (also hope to God I don''t trip! knowing my luck though....). People like that are just not worth my time. That would also include the hypothetical husband btw.

I would love to be able to say I''d do this.. I''d probably go at her like an angry cat, teeth bared and claws out. After I''m done with FI.

 

[Dee*Jay]

My first choice is actually not there: Confuse the he!! out of her! Be just as friendly as all get out. Let her know I know, but hey, we're all of the sisterhood here, maybe we should have coffee or something some time? Perhaps even do a girls spa weekend! (Of course who knows who HE would be screwing around with while we're out of town, but what the hey!). Or, better yet, have a nice dinner and some drinks after I file the divorce paperwork!

Seriously, if they think you're crazy you have an upper hand.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:31:54 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Forget her. My husband would be on the receiving end of my rage.

I have no use for getting involved with the trash that gets involved with married men.

This is my thought. My FI/DH would be the one I would be upset with, he is the one I''m in a relationship with.

Now, if this question was "What would you do to your DH if you caught him cheating", my answer would definitely not have anything to do with remaining calm.

 

[TravelingGal]

LOL DeeJay...

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:31:54 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Forget her. My husband would be on the receiving end of my rage.

I have no use for getting involved with the trash that gets involved with married men.

lol something more along these lines.

The woman in question, she''s less significant in this scenario. I still might get her though...depends.

 

[Upgradable]

Last fall I started a thread titled Fidelity. I had a very good friend going through a difficult time, and was being challenged finding that her ideas on what to do were very different than I. I loved all of the different responses, and the one conclusion I came to was that the only way to know how you would react was to find yourself in that situation. And I fervently pray that no one I know and care about ever does!

 

[swimmer]

Option F. Murder DH in a crafty manner so as to not go to jail (think Fried Green Tomatoes)

 

[lulu]

I answered 2, but who really knows. I like to think I''d keep it together.

 

[monarch64]

I wouldn''t say anything. I figure she''d already know who I am and just the anticipation of whether I''m going to say something or not would kill her. I''d have already plotted out my revenge against her anyway, and causing a public scene isn''t my style. I prefer to exact punishment on enemies in more subtle and painful ways that can''t be traced back to me.

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:50:55 PM
Author: swimmer
Option F. Murder DH in a crafty manner so as to not go to jail (think Fried Green Tomatoes)

Nevermind, I choose option F!

 

[doodle]

DeeJay, you remind me of a story with my friend, Z. She and her bf of about five years just broke up, and only a couple of weeks later, he already had a new girlfriend (Z still hadn't finished moving all her stuff out of their place yet when the new girl already had hers in, and Z's name was still on the lease!), so what did my friend do? She showed up, let herself in (like I said, he wouldn't sign the papers letting her out of their lease), walked in on the two of 'em, smiled sweetly, and left a pair of handcuffs, Trojans, and a box of tampons on the coffee table "just in case", then told the girl, "Good seeing you, sweetie. I'm SO glad you don't mind getting my leftovers."

 

[sba771]

This actually sort of happened to my mom. At this point my father had actually left my mom for his...well I have a special word for her, and it was my college graduation. He was only invited because he paid my way through school and I did feel it was his right. She and their love child tagged along. My mom being AWESOME and my hero and the most incredible lady invited both the woman and child to my graduation dinner because apparently the mistress was uncomfortable having my dad be in my mom''s presence without her. My mom sat there across from her with her head held high. She did want to say, ''so how did you meet?" but she, being the classy lady, just was polite. In turn my dad''s mistress spent the entire day prior to the dinner in the bathroom dealing with some stomach issues brought on my the stress of meeting the woman she wronged and she also squirmed throughout dinner, it was interesting. This was also my first time meeting her...I drank 4 martinis to get through it. In the end my mom won and I was proud of her.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:57:04 PM
Author: sba771
This actually sort of happened to my mom. At this point my father had actually left my mom for his...well I have a special word for her, and it was my college graduation. He was only invited because he paid my way through school and I did feel it was his right. She and their love child tagged along. My mom being AWESOME and my hero and the most incredible lady invited both the woman and child to my graduation dinner because apparently the mistress was uncomfortable having my dad be in my mom''s presence without her. My mom sat there across from her with her head held high. She did want to say, ''so how did you meet?'' but she, being the classy lady, just was polite. In turn my dad''s mistress spent the entire day prior to the dinner in the bathroom dealing with some stomach issues brought on my the stress of meeting the woman she wronged and she also squirmed throughout dinner, it was interesting. This was also my first time meeting her...I drank 4 martinis to get through it. In the end my mom won and I was proud of her.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:26:20 PM
Author: TravelingGal

That would be the answer I''d LIKE to say, but I don''t have the energy, and I don''t think I''m clever enough to figure out how to really destroy someone''s life....

I chose that I''d walk away. Not because I''d want to, but I am not sure what I''d REALLY do, which leads me to believe I''d walk away. The other possible answer is that I would be so overcome by fury I''d hiss at curse at her.

Let''s also say for argument''s sake, this is in a PUBLIC place. It''s not like you''ve gone to her house to find her, or found her in yours. I would imagine then the answers would be different. If I CAUGHT her in my place, I''d go for disfigurement as a first instinct.

then how would she know it was his mistress?