First off, I want to thank everyone for your thoughts, hugs and support, they are greatly appreciated.
Kimberly - What you said is exactly what I believe. As for changing my MOH, I''ll sit on this one for a while.
luckystar - You''re right, the entire family suffers from her moods, pessimism and inflexibility. It''s hard on everyone because she constantly picks fights with all of us. I also believe she needs professional help, but I really don''t know how to go about it, and certainly not right now.
Kaleigh - I don''t think there is anything I can do right now, as you say, the ball is in her court now. At this point I don''t know if anything I say will have any effect on her.
neatfreak - Thank you so much for your compliments, I''m really touched. My sister seems to have forgotten that I''ve been through my share of difficulties as well, including a disability, and most of them have forced me to grow up pretty fast. Becoming an optimist is what got me through those difficulties. Being an optimist is not just a way of thinking for me, it means survival. Without it, I might just as well give up on everything, after all, why do it if I''m going to fail? I also believe that we build our own life according to our attitude, some sort of karma, if you will. If you believe something will work and are ready to do whatever is necessary to make it work, then chances are it will. But if you don''t believe it will work, then... good luck.
E is my twin sister. We were born 10 weeks early and there were complications, hence my disability. She always felt responsible for me... We had had discussions about needing to let go of that protector/protected relationship we developped, but it''s obvious to me now that she hasn''t, and it''s becoming very hurtful. This is really about jealousy, but losing a role she probably unconsciously sees as a reason to live. I feel for her, but I don''t know what to do about it, except tell her to let me go. Frankly, I''m at a loss.
poptart - Thank you. It really helps.
zoebartlett - Thanks for your good thoughts. She''s so stubborn, I don''t know how to get anything through her... But we''ll see.
robbie - What you say about her is true. Her intention is to protect me, not hurt me... but she is hurting me, she''s doing exactly what she''s trying to prevent from happening to me! And I am really really getting fed up with her attitude. You know how an overbearing mother who''s so afraid to lose her child ends up pushing her child away? That''s how it feels like. And I''ve had enough.
deco - It was definitely a fight waiting to happen. What was said needed to be said, I''m just sorry we had to yell at each other. As I told Kimberly, I''ll sit on the MOH thing for a while. As for my sister suffering from depression, I''ve believe for a while now that she does. But how to tell her this, how to get her to seek help? You said it, she has to want it. I can''t do it for her.
basil - Your analysis of the situation is spot on. She''s losing her role and she''s freaking out. I know her intent is not to hurt me, but she does. I don''t think there''s any other way to make her realize that than by telling her. As for ignoring it... I tried, and it lead to this. So... I don''t know. Right now, I''ve decided to cross the bridge about the actual weeding day and her role in it when I come to it.
Cehrabera - I agree with you. I just wish she could see it.
Sweetpea - Your post had a strangely soothing effect on me. Thanks for understanding.
laru - Thanks. I''m on Spring Break right now after a particularly vicious mid-term period, so the last thing I needed was this! My temper gets the best of me sometimes as well, which is why I yelled at her yesterday... I hope it won''t come to this for you. Thanks for the well wishes.