Yet another $$/etiquette question

[Lynnie]

So I got inspired by all these recent $$ questions, and I realize I have one of my own.

The venue I booked includes valet parking and coat check (included in our per-person price). The place doesn''t have a parking lot, and when I asked where they parked the cars, they said that they use a nearby McDonald''s lot (with permission), and on the next two blocks down from the venue there''s a cemetery and they park the cars along the street next to it. This is all fine, in my book. I would not like my guests to feel they have to tip for the parking and coat check.

So my questions are:
Would you, as a guest, tip the valet and coat check person?
I would like to specify to the venue that I would not like guests to tip. Should I give the venue the tips beforehand? And what would be an appropriate amount? $5 a car? I''m thinking there''ll be about 60-ish cars. As for the coat-check, the wedding''s in April, and the weather here can be anywhere from beautiful to brutal, so I really won''t be able to gauge that aspect until that week or even that day. I''m assuming there''ll be one coat-check person, and probably 2 or 3 valets. I''ll have to find out. Suggestions for the coat-check person?

TIA

Oh, BTW, I think that as a guest I would feel impelled to tip these people. But if they said "The tip has been taken care of" I would think "How sweet of the hosts". But if I specify that I will take care of the tips, and find out that they accept tips anyway, I would be FURIOUS.... and there would probably be nothing I could do about it.

TIA again

 

[neatfreak]

I'd ask to put a tiny discreet sign up at the coat check and valet that says the tipping is taken care of personally. Or simply instruct all the valets/coat check people that they are not to accept tips, but it's easier for everyone if there is a small discreet sign IMO.

I don't think it matters whether you provide it before or after, just make sure they know that YOU will be the one tipping them. I'd assume they deal with it all the time...

As for whether I would tip them depends, if I had cash and there was no sign that the host had taken care of it, yes I would. But I don't often have dollars in my purse when I go to a wedding because it's not the norm to have a cash bar and dollar dances aren't popular either. So I just often don't think to bring cash in small quantities...

 

[newbie124]

Hi Lynnie,

I actually started a thread related to this very topic a week or so ago. There seemed to be some varying opinions. Hope you find it helpful! View thread here.

I think I read somewhere that you should tip the valet attendants $1 per car, but don''t quote me on that. $5 seems a little high, though.

 

[Mediterranean]

Gotta question:

Does your original agreement with your vendor include a gratuity charge or a service fee?

If so, then you''ve tipped your service staff.

I personally don''t tip the service staff when I go to weddings. I''m an invited guest. It''s part and parcel of what that entails. Theoretically, if I don''t leave a tip on the table for the waiters at the wedding who serve the meal, why should one set of service providers at an event get tipped by me, unless they all get tipped by me? In theory, I''d have to tip the waitstaff, the bar staff, the valet staff, the rest room attendant, and the coat-check staff. I also know that it has upset a few brides to learn that their guests ( me) have tipped the service staff, because little did we guests know, Bride & Groom gave each of those folks an envelope with cash at the end of the night as a tip. Or because gratuities were built into the contracts. Now, with my tipping, the Bride and Groom are feeling ripped off by some of their service providers, marring the lovely memories of their otherwise perfect events.

I personally would want my guests to leave the money issues to the hosts (us) and simply enjoy themselves.