Yesterday daughter #2 totaled her car...

[Dancing Fire]

is seems, Maria, that DF uses his daughters and their situations merely to take nasty digs at Obama.....

factual or not, he is righteous in his indignation.

Funny thing about the liberals...in their opinion it is wrong for me to subsidize my daughters, but it is OK for taxpayers to subsidize the able to work but don't wanna work crowd.. My daughter is not lazy and don't wanna work type of person. she been trying to find a full time job for the past 2 yrs but were unable to, so she decided to go back to school.

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="Maria D|1397187725|
And how did your daughter get a phone from this program? I find it hard to believe that your household is at or below 135% of the poverty line. Did she move out on her own?[/quote]


No, maybe I should kick her out ?...

 

[LLJsmom]

Phew. Thank goodness your daughter is ok...

 

[swingirl]

I am glad your daughter is okay. I applaud her for going back to school and working. It's not easy once you have a degree and California makes it impossible to earn a second bachelors degree if you decide to change careers.

CL is full of salvage cars bought at auction and "fixed" by car flippers. An alternative is Hertz sales (close to SFO). They sell 1-2 year old rental cars and are very reasonable.

 

[TC1987]

Nah, a bus pass is much cheaper

(snort!) Whoa! Tough love! Sounds like what my parents would say, followed by "now go buy your own."

 

[movie zombie]

is seems, Maria, that DF uses his daughters and their situations merely to take nasty digs at Obama.....

factual or not, he is righteous in his indignation.

Funny thing about the liberals...in their opinion it is wrong for me to subsidize my daughters, but it is OK for taxpayers to subsidize the able to work but don't wanna work crowd.. My daughter is not lazy and don't wanna work type of person. she been trying to find a full time job for the past 2 yrs but were unable to, so she decided to go back to school.

your sympathy for your daughter's inability to find work is understandable.....but you don't have that same sympathy for others in the same position. you have been clear about that, DF.

in this instance, she is family but you are "the state" and you are ok with helping her....and I'm ok with helping others like her that don't have a rich daddy who can afford to continue to pay for her continuing education and the many other things you've done over the years and posted here about. others too are not lazy and have been trying to find full time work/job for a long time but don't have a DF to make it all happen for them or support them for 2 years while they look for work. it is so easy to be critical of others in the same situation when you personally have the means to help your daughter. but at the end of the day she knows you'll always be there to subsidize her....and we know you will use it as an opportunity to take digs at those that would help others besides family. rather than seeing all US citizens as "family", you see them as "the other" and therefore undeserving of help. somehow the act of trying to better people's lives and help them to become productive, taxpaying citizens is taking something away from you.

again, you like to bubble the cauldron with your posts re your daughters....and it is usually about #2 with money worries [credit card abuse while in college comes to mind] and about #1 being jealous. perhaps it is time to look at that dynamic rather than rolling your eyes at liberals.

 

[minousbijoux]

thank God she is fine and didn't needed to go to the hospital.

here is the dilemma... .. if I buy daughter #2 a new car then daughter #1 will most likely be jealous, so IYO, what should I do?... buy her a used car of the same value as the one she just totaled? we do have an extra car but IDK if I wanted her to drive my truck.

Um.....I can help.

You should buy me the new car, and I'll give your DD my existing car. DD2 won't get a new car, so DD1 won't get jealous.

We're good, right?!

Shouldn't you finagle a diamond tennis bracelet out of it too?

 

[rosetta]

DF, I was an independent full time doctor at the age of 23. It's time you let your daughters grow up. I can't believe you're talking about a 26 year old, plus the jealousy of a daughter who is even older! They aren't teenagers who must run to daddy for every little thing. They need to sort their own transportation and lives out at this point. I'm glad she wasn't hurt but deeply unimpressed that you think buying her a new car is appropriate at her age. I'm sure a grown woman can arrange and pay for her own used car.

Apologies if I got that wrong and she's a 16 year old in full time school.

Wow, rosetta! How did you do that?? I had just turned 24 when I graduated from pharmacy school, and that was only 6 years!!

HS (17-1 + 4 years pre-med (21-22) + 4 years med (25-26) + residency (26+)...
Child prodigy, for sure! ...but seriously, how did you do it?

Sorry for the threadjack, DF!!

Sorry to continue the threadjack, but I need to answer this so msop doesn't think I'm a prodigy!

I graduated from med school at 22, a bit young but not that unusual. Med school was 5 years (very intensive, few holidays, many hours of lectures, there is no faffing around with pre-med), I was the only doctor in the hospital covering all the medical wards the second night I started work, so you bet I was an independent doctor at that point, my first call was a patient having a heart attack (god knows how, but I did something right and he lived!) and 3 nurses asking me what to do.... It's a baptism of fire, 100 hour weeks, most sink or swim at this point, lots of running cardiac arrests. Not so good for patients but we learn really, really fast. GP training is at least 2 years in hospital medicine, then a further 3 years training. I've almost completed my 5 year specialist training (following 4 years in acute medicine) and become a consultant in radiation oncology next year, and will have 3 junior doctors to supervise in my team. I'm 33 and have already paid 10 years of income tax and pension contributions, I feel like an old doctor already lol. I took a long and convoluted route to get here otherwise I would have finished in 2013 (I took a sabbatical, a fellowship, a part time masters etc etc). We have plenty of consultants aged 30/31 in the UK. It seems like medical training takes a lot longer in the US, plus you spend a lot of time in school whereas we are thrown into clinical work ASAP, covering all medical specialties until we decide which sub specialty to go into (I will be fully accredited in both medicine and oncology next year). Hope that explains the differences with medicine in the UK and the US!

 

[Maria D]

is seems, Maria, that DF uses his daughters and their situations merely to take nasty digs at Obama.....

factual or not, he is righteous in his indignation.

Funny thing about the liberals...in their opinion it is wrong for me to subsidize my daughters, but it is OK for taxpayers to subsidize the able to work but don't wanna work crowd.. My daughter is not lazy and don't wanna work type of person. she been trying to find a full time job for the past 2 yrs but were unable to, so she decided to go back to school.

your sympathy for your daughter's inability to find work is understandable.....but you don't have that same sympathy for others in the same position. you have been clear about that, DF.

in this instance, she is family but you are "the state" and you are ok with helping her....and I'm ok with helping others like her that don't have a rich daddy who can afford to continue to pay for her continuing education and the many other things you've done over the years and posted here about. others too are not lazy and have been trying to find full time work/job for a long time but don't have a DF to make it all happen for them or support them for 2 years while they look for work. it is so easy to be critical of others in the same situation when you personally have the means to help your daughter. but at the end of the day she knows you'll always be there to subsidize her....and we know you will use it as an opportunity to take digs at those that would help others besides family. rather than seeing all US citizens as "family", you see them as "the other" and therefore undeserving of help. somehow the act of trying to better people's lives and help them to become productive, taxpaying citizens is taking something away from you.

again, you like to bubble the cauldron with your posts re your daughters....and it is usually about #2 with money worries [credit card abuse while in college comes to mind] and about #1 being jealous. perhaps it is time to look at that dynamic rather than rolling your eyes at liberals.

But is DF just taking his digs at Obama or is his family actually committing fraud? In order to qualify for a federally subsidized phone through the Lifeline program http://www.fcc.gov/lifeline a household must be at or below 135% of the poverty guideline. For a household of 4, that's about $32k annual income. I find it hard to believe that's your situation.

Seriously DF, I can't tell if you're just doing your usual uninformed ranting about Obama and liberals by sprinkling in inanities like the non-existent "Obama Phone" or if you are bragging about your family committing fraud. Which is it?

I coudln't care less whether or not you buy her and her sister a new or used car but I'm very interested in whether or not I, as a taxpayer, helped YOU by getting her a phone.

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="Maria D|1397240161|

Seriously DF, I can't tell if you're just doing your usual uninformed ranting about Obama and liberals by sprinkling in inanities like the non-existent "Obama Phone" or if you are bragging about your family committing fraud. Which is it?

I coudln't care less whether or not you buy her and her sister a new or used car but I'm very interested in whether or not I, as a taxpayer, helped YOU by getting her a phone.[/quote]


Yes, after I kick her out of my house...

 

[Kaleigh]

DF,
I am one that fall under OMG hope his daughter is OK... That is first and foremost right??

We are a community. Well I think of it as such.

I don't have much time to come here. I give as I can But you baiting us with this stuff makes me pissed off...

SO like many I won't take the time to respond because you laugh and make jokes..

This is real, and it's not funny to me..

And yes have a great sense of humor,,,, but this is one I cannot laugh at.. Nor agree with..

JMHO...

Have a great weekend!!!!

 

[kenny]

No other cars, passengers involved in the accident. she lost control of the car when she tried to avoid some objects on the road then hit a tree.

That sounds like her fault for going too fast for the driving conditions and/or tailgating.
You are not supposed to drive so fast or follow so closely that you don't see road debris early enough.
(Yes, I realize that's how the vast majority of drivers DO drive. )

If she is throwing her hands up saying, "This was not my fault because there was something in the road." I'd be much less generous than if she was saying, "It was my fault for going too fast and/or tailgating and I've learned my lesson."

I'm all about behaving responsibly instead of feeling entitled, and don't see what politics has to do with this thread.

 

[makemepretty]

Oh, we know she's not really using an Obama phone, those things are fugly. My mother on disability has one and no one that grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth(and a diamond bracelet and diamond earrings and soon to be newer car) would be rockin' that. He's just poking fun I'm sure. You know she's got an iPhone.

We all know DF will be covering the cost of the car. Hey, it's his money, doesn't bother me. Did make me smile to read she's not lazy though, just everyone else who accepts hand outs(exactly like her but not including her) are, 15 hour work weeks are exhausting! She's just unlucky....trees jump out of nowhere and there are no full time jobs out there, she's been looking for two years!!! Good thing those lazy people aren't bothering to look because according to his daughter that's just a waste of time, in her two years she hasn't found one.

It's cute and entertaining.

 

[Maria D]

Oh, we know she's not really using an Obama phone, those things are fugly. My mother on disability has one and no one that grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth(and a diamond bracelet and diamond earrings and soon to be newer car) would be rockin' that. He's just poking fun I'm sure. You know she's got an iPhone.

We all know DF will be covering the cost of the car. Hey, it's his money, doesn't bother me. Did make me smile to read she's not lazy though, just everyone else who accepts hand outs(exactly like her but not including her) are, 15 hour work weeks are exhausting! She's just unlucky....trees jump out of nowhere and there are no full time jobs out there, she's been looking for two years!!! Good thing those lazy people aren't bothering to look because according to his daughter that's just a waste of time, in her two years she hasn't found one.

It's cute and entertaining.

There's no such thing as an "Obama phone." Why do you call it that?

 

[makemepretty]

It's a free phone program that came into use when Obama became president. It's for very low income families or person. If you have food stamps or medicaid you might qualify. It's free. You get about 250 free texts and minutes a month. There's no phone choice, it's a small black basic phone. It's just what people refer to it by, like Obamacare.

 

[VRBeauty]

It's a free phone program that came into use when Obama became president. It's for very low income families or person. If you have food stamps or medicaid you might qualify. It's free. You get about 250 free texts and minutes a month. There's no phone choice, it's a small black basic phone. It's just what people refer to it by, like Obamacare.

Actually, it's an extension of a universal lifeline program that provided phone lines at reduced cost for low-income customers long before President Obama took office. It just morphed into a cell phone program in recent years as cell phones become more widely available, and probably less expensive to start up and maintain than landlines. It's paid for by phone service providers. (You'll probably might see a "Universal service fund" charge on your phone bill, although service providers can also choose to absorb and distribute that cost in some other way.)

 

[Dancing Fire]

No other cars, passengers involved in the accident. she lost control of the car when she tried to avoid some objects on the road then hit a tree.

That sounds like her fault for going too fast for the driving conditions and/or tailgating.
You are not supposed to drive so fast or follow so closely that you don't see road debris early enough.
(Yes, I realize that's how the vast majority of drivers DO drive. )

If she is throwing her hands up saying, "This was not my fault because there was something in the road." I'd be much less generous than if she was saying, "It was my fault for going too fast and/or tailgating and I've learned my lesson."

I'm all about behaving responsibly instead of feeling entitled, and don't see what politics has to do with this thread.

Kenny
I'd agree with you either way it is her fault.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Oh, we know she's not really using an Obama phone, those things are fugly. My mother on disability has one and no one that grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth(and a diamond bracelet and diamond earrings and soon to be newer car) would be rockin' that. He's just poking fun I'm sure. You know she's got an iPhone.

We all know DF will be covering the cost of the car. Hey, it's his money, doesn't bother me. Did make me smile to read she's not lazy though, just everyone else who accepts hand outs(exactly like her but not including her) are, 15 hour work weeks are exhausting! She's just unlucky....trees jump out of nowhere and there are no full time jobs out there, she's been looking for two years!!! Good thing those lazy people aren't bothering to look because according to his daughter that's just a waste of time, in her two years she hasn't found one.

It's cute and entertaining.

Nope, Not including her b/c I am the one who is subsidizing, not your tax $$$. I feel all parents should be responsible for raising their own child.

 

[CharmyPoo]

When I was 18, I lent my car to my boyfriend who totaled it. My parents gave me the insurance money to get another car. I felt really bad about the whole thing and my parents were nice enough to not give me too much heck (cuz they knew I was sorry and would never do it again). My 2 sisters and brother never complained once that I got another car but perhaps it is because they all also had their own cars.

 

[kenny]

No other cars, passengers involved in the accident. she lost control of the car when she tried to avoid some objects on the road then hit a tree.

That sounds like her fault for going too fast for the driving conditions and/or tailgating.
You are not supposed to drive so fast or follow so closely that you don't see road debris early enough.
(Yes, I realize that's how the vast majority of drivers DO drive. )

If she is throwing her hands up saying, "This was not my fault because there was something in the road." I'd be much less generous than if she was saying, "It was my fault for going too fast and/or tailgating and I've learned my lesson."

I'm all about behaving responsibly instead of feeling entitled, and don't see what politics has to do with this thread.

Kenny
I'd agree with you either way it is her fault.

Sure, you know that, but what's her attitude regarding her culpability?

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="kenny|1397264616|

Sure, you know that, but what's her attitude regarding her culpability?[/quote]



Well, she feels pretty bad about the accident even before I told her to be more careful on the road and that she is very luck this time for not being injured. It is not like she is a rookie driver she have been driving for 8 yrs now.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Glad to hear that she is okay. DF, I did a lot of dumb things growing up, and my dad bailed me out a lot, similar car situations as a matter of fact. My parents had the means to help me ad they did. I can never thank them enough, but once married and launched in my career, I am proud to say that I have matured and learned from my mistakes, and not only do I no longer need their financial assistance, I try to give back as much a I can. Paying their way for everything when they are visiting from Taiwan etc. What my parents did, and how I'm repaying them is the Chinese way. I don't think it is wrong for you to help out your daughter if you can...., she'll repay you many times over, not necessarily monetarily, but with the love that you have shown her.

 

[monarch64]

Glad to hear that she is okay. DF, I did a lot of dumb things growing up, and my dad bailed me out a lot, similar car situations as a matter of fact. My parents had the means to help me ad they did. I can never thank them enough, but once married and launched in my career, I am proud to say that I have matured and learned from my mistakes, and not only do I no longer need their financial assistance, I try to give back as much a I can. Paying their way for everything when they are visiting from Taiwan etc. What my parents did, and how I'm repaying them is the Chinese way. I don't think it is wrong for you to help out your daughter if you can...., she'll repay you many times over, not necessarily monetarily, but with the love that you have shown her.

This. Maybe it's the Chinese way, but maybe it's also the way certain families show love. Your story, DF, as well as Jaysonsmom's rings true to me, and I am not Chinese. I am a daughter of a family who did what they could to provide for me in every way, and I've in turn stuck by my dad through all of his health issues, and stuck by my mom as she has taken care of him day by day. That has meant changing jobs and even moving back closer to them. We are family, and we stick by each other no matter what. If that meas a bit of stunted growth, so be it. My whole family, including myself and my spouse and our daughter, is happier knowing we do for each other.

I'm really glad your DD is ok. She'll figure things out with the car. (Sorry, haven't read the entire thread, maybe she already has it under control.) I totaled the first "new" car my dad got me for my 21st--the insurance $ paid for a new one, only less options.

 

[random_thought]

I personally would make her save the money for a new car but then again you're asking a gal whose parents never just gave her anything

 

[Dancing Fire]

Glad to hear that she is okay. DF, I did a lot of dumb things growing up, and my dad bailed me out a lot, similar car situations as a matter of fact. My parents had the means to help me ad they did. I can never thank them enough, but once married and launched in my career, I am proud to say that I have matured and learned from my mistakes, and not only do I no longer need their financial assistance, I try to give back as much a I can. Paying their way for everything when they are visiting from Taiwan etc. What my parents did, and how I'm repaying them is the Chinese way. I don't think it is wrong for you to help out your daughter if you can...., she'll repay you many times over, not necessarily monetarily, but with the love that you have shown her.

Most Americans don't understand the Chinese way... i.e...we no longer support DD #1 financially since she is working full time. In fact, lately she have had been cooking mommy and daddy dinner twice a week...

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Glad to hear that she is okay. DF, I did a lot of dumb things growing up, and my dad bailed me out a lot, similar car situations as a matter of fact. My parents had the means to help me ad they did. I can never thank them enough, but once married and launched in my career, I am proud to say that I have matured and learned from my mistakes, and not only do I no longer need their financial assistance, I try to give back as much a I can. Paying their way for everything when they are visiting from Taiwan etc. What my parents did, and how I'm repaying them is the Chinese way. I don't think it is wrong for you to help out your daughter if you can...., she'll repay you many times over, not necessarily monetarily, but with the love that you have shown her.

This. Maybe it's the Chinese way, but maybe it's also the way certain families show love. Your story, DF, as well as Jaysonsmom's rings true to me, and I am not Chinese. I am a daughter of a family who did what they could to provide for me in every way, and I've in turn stuck by my dad through all of his health issues, and stuck by my mom as she has taken care of him day by day. That has meant changing jobs and even moving back closer to them. We are family, and we stick by each other no matter what. If that meas a bit of stunted growth, so be it. My whole family, including myself and my spouse and our daughter, is happier knowing we do for each other.

I'm really glad your DD is ok. She'll figure things out with the car. (Sorry, haven't read the entire thread, maybe she already has it under control.) I totaled the first "new" car my dad got me for my 21st--the insurance $ paid for a new one, only less options.

I certainly had the benefit of a family loved me and were able to provide me with a college education and my first new car. I am thankful for that, and we have paid for our kids' college but bought them reliable used cars.

Our older daughter was hit by another driver and it totaled the car she had driven through high school and college. It was worth almost nothing by then, so the insurance money didn't cover a reliable used car. We did contribute some for a down payment and she got her first car loan to pay the rest since she was working full time. I cannot imagine why we would not help any of our children as long as they were not being totally irresponsible. Our daughter made straight A's through college and grad school, so we feel our money was very well spent as she worked very hard and didn't take her education for granted!

DF, I am so glad your daughter was not injured and agree that it was a good wake-up call for her to pay extra careful attention to the road when driving. I think it was great that she went back to school to get skills to get a job and is working 15 hours a week in addition to taking classes full-time. I certainly know college grads who have not been able to get jobs in their field and see them working places that pay minimum wage. Good for your daughter to retrain in a field that will provide her a good income, and she should easily find a job!

Oh, and to your question, if you add a little to the insurance money to help her, then just do something special for the other daughter,too, sometime! I try to be fair with my kids but the needs aren't all present at the same time, thankfully!

 

[Tekate]

when confronted with this with sons, I bought son number 1 a car with what was left of the insurance money, he's 26 and he's still driving it today and he was 17 then

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="diamondseeker2006|
I certainly had the benefit of a family loved me and were able to provide me with a college education and my first new car. I am thankful for that, and we have paid for our kids' college but bought them reliable used cars.

Our older daughter was hit by another driver and it totaled the car she had driven through high school and college. It was worth almost nothing by then, so the insurance money didn't cover a reliable used car. We did contribute some for a down payment and she got her first car loan to pay the rest since she was working full time. I cannot imagine why we would not help any of our children as long as they were not being totally irresponsible. Our daughter made straight A's through college and grad school, so we feel our money was very well spent as she worked very hard and didn't take her education for granted!

[/quote]



I have a friend whom I have known for 40 yrs his wife passed away with cancer and left behind 3 daughters plus a big life insurance policy ,then when it was time for college he refused to pay for their educations, so now 2 of his 3 kids are struggling to get by with minimum wage jobs. the middle daughter is working while attending college. His wife is flipping over in her grave b/c all those $$$ that she had left behind was meant to be use for the kid's education. Our circle of friends just shaking heads.. and feel sorry for his 3 daughters. My wife and his wife grew up together and they were very close friends, wife said...every time when I see him I wanted to punch him in the nose for not supporting his kids.

 

[perry]

Nope, Not including her b/c I am the one who is subsidizing, not your tax $$$. I feel all parents should be responsible for raising their own child.

Hmmm.... I agree that all parents should be responsible for raising their own children. Mine were; but the rules were very clear. You have a place to stay as long as you are in High School and up to one summer after that. Then you are on your own. You are welcome to visit for holidays and on any vacations.

So, is continuing to fund her at her age "raising her" to be a responsible adult; or perhaps something else?

I know of plenty of other younger people who have had to figure out how to get by shortly after age 18. Most of them have done acceptably well. Of course, they have had to take real responsibility and make tough choices too.

Perry

 

[Dancing Fire]

Nope, Not including her b/c I am the one who is subsidizing, not your tax $$$. I feel all parents should be responsible for raising their own child.

Hmmm.... I agree that all parents should be responsible for raising their own children. Mine were; but the rules were very clear. You have a place to stay as long as you are in High School and up to one summer after that. Then you are on your own. You are welcome to visit for holidays and on any vacations.

So, is continuing to fund her at her age "raising her" to be a responsible adult; or perhaps something else?


Perry

IDK, but I'll find out in the future...