Yes/No...should parents reward their kids for...

[monarch64]

Should they? I don't know. Every parent has a different method and some work, some don't.

My parents definitely did not reward good grades. They always encouraged us to do the best we could, and my mother, in particular, was very involved in our education. However, I think they made a rather unfortunate mistake by telling both my brother and me that we were going to attend college no matter what because when my grandfather died, he left a lump sum of money earmarked for both of our college educations. I can't speak for my brother, but I had that information since I was in 2nd grade and I really think that affected my desire to apply myself in school. If I was interested in a subject, I excelled. If I was uninterested, I plodded through the class and received barely passing grades. I ended up attending a passable, but not great, university, and again excelled at all of the courses within my major, but didn't fare so well with required general education studies. Of course I obtained a Bachelor's degree, but in hindsight, I could've done a lot more with my life had I realized at an earlier age where my level of actual intelligence could get me.

My husband and I have a 10.5 month old daughter (our first child.) She, and any other child we are blessed with, will never know that we've set up a college fund for her, or that we plan to assist her with payment for her education should she choose to go further than a high school diploma. We will not reward good grades with money, I don't think. I suppose that's a bridge we'll cross when we come to it, though.

 

[ZestfullyBling]

Yes.

My parents didn't reward me for scholastic achievements.

However, we do reward our son monetarily for A's & B's (depending). He is an only child so we do not have the "sibling rivalry" issue. We started this in middle school. He is now going into HS junior year. He wont except any less than a 3.6, has accelerated classes, and is striving for a 4.0. I'm so very proud of him!!!!

 

[Dougsgirl]

Every family is different. But yes, we do this for our children. I'm not sure if it was the right approach for our oldest, who is now 21, but for the younger 2 it's been great.

I only have one left in the home. He is a junior in high school. He is very smart and good grades come easily for him. But here is my philosophy...
He plays sports and does homework. He does not currently have a job. I would prefer that he work hard at his studies (in hopes of getting into a good college and hopefully a scholarship) rather than spending his evenings making minimum wage. I believe that being a good student IS his job right now, and I'm willing to reward him for the effort.

Each trimester (when the report card comes out) he gets $50 an A. If he gets straight A's he gets an extra $50. So with 5 classes, the best he can do is $300 per trimester. (Much less than he would make working at McDonalds 10 hours a week). But it still rewards him for his hard work. And this has worked for him.. since he started 6th grade he has gotten only 3 B's... in 6 years! My husband also just offered him a "smartphone" if he beats his sister's score on the SAT. LOL (My son has been wanting a smartphone but we have been holding out.) My daughter got a 1900 on her SAT's, which is no easy feat.

My thoughts... figure out what motivates YOUR child. Every child is different. My oldest was not motivated in this way and I wish we would have done things differently. My youngest loves it and has done very well. But he's not materialistic and he works hard for the good grades he gets. It works for us.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Every family is different. But yes, we do this for our children. I'm not sure if it was the right approach for our oldest, who is now 21, but for the younger 2 it's been great.

I only have one left in the home. He is a junior in high school. He is very smart and good grades come easily for him. But here is my philosophy...
He plays sports and does homework. He does not currently have a job. I would prefer that he work hard at his studies (in hopes of getting into a good college and hopefully a scholarship) rather than spending his evenings making minimum wage. I believe that being a good student IS his job right now, and I'm willing to reward him for the effort.

Each trimester (when the report card comes out) he gets $50 an A. If he gets straight A's he gets an extra $50. So with 5 classes, the best he can do is $300 per trimester. (Much less than he would make working at McDonalds 10 hours a week). But it still rewards him for his hard work. And this has worked for him.. since he started 6th grade he has gotten only 3 B's... in 6 years! My husband also just offered him a "smartphone" if he beats his sister's score on the SAT. LOL (My son has been wanting a smartphone but we have been holding out.) My daughter got a 1900 on her SAT's, which is no easy feat.

My thoughts... figure out what motivates YOUR child. Every child is different. My oldest was not motivated in this way and I wish we would have done things differently. My youngest loves it and has done very well. But he's not materialistic and he works hard for the good grades he gets. It works for us.

Hi Dougsgirl, I feel the same way that if my kids work hard in school, that I would prefer to supplement their income (give them an allowance) if it means them working harder in school for good grades/scholarships than them not spending as much time on homework and working a PT min-wage job. I basically felt that paying them for grades is better than the McDonald's job. I was told, recently, though, that because of where we live, that we probably won't qualify for scholarships. We're not rich, but apparently we're "rich" in the eyes of those who chose who to give scholarships to, and I was told by a teacher that the only way my kids would have a chance is if they volunteer and we plan on taking on student debt. Maybe it's just where we live...I was just surprised to have a teacher tell me that based on our location that we'd be paying interest on student loans as soon as my kids enter college rather than six months after they graduate (and I've never flaunted any income so this was just based on superficial impressions)...I was told things have changed since I was in college. Have you noticed a difference between your older and younger children and how colleges approach scholarships?

It was two years ago I was told we could get scholarships for being from having certain heritgage, but was told a few months back that all that is in the past and am not sure how to direct my kids. One is in a gifted program, the second has been recommended for the same program and we're waiting for test results. Regardless, we don't have savings so I had hoped we could get scholarships for their acedemic achievements, plus some after-school programs...

 

[TooPatient]

MC -- I'm in the Bellevue area and currently in school. I've had to deal with scholarships, grants, loans and all that over the last couple of years. The whole process is no fun.

Part of why I had to wait before re-starting school was because my mother and her (now ex) husband made "too much" -- news to me since they struggled to even pay their monthly bills. Grants also require that you report your parents' incomes on your application until a certain age so even if they move out and are completely independent they would still not qualify. A lot of the scholarships I have looked at require that you be eligible for grants so if your parents make too much money to qualify for grants you can't do scholarships either.
There are other scholarships out there. LOTS of them are for people of certain backgrounds. Age, life situation, heritage, etc are a big requirement for lots of them.

Volunteer work with organizations is a really good idea. I got a Kiwanis scholarship, but the $500 didn't help much with the cost of school around here. I'd put in huge numbers of hours (like 10+ per week, often much more) and that was it. BUT -- the volunteer stuff looks great on college applications, some employers look at it as experience, and it is a great way to network (spending lots of time with the business owners in the area is always good when you're starting out). (Plus, of course, the good things done for the community!)

One word of warning with grants (scholarships too probably) --
The process is slow and sometimes you don't get the money until a couple of days before the quarter (or a week into the quarter ) so you have to be prepared to buy books out of pocket if needed. There are also times they "run out" of certain grants/etc so you get a smaller amount (or not at all with some of the school foundation stuff).
I lost eligibility for ALL grants/scholarships/loans effective this quarter. The financial aid people found that I have "too many credits" completed (I'm doing an upper division transfer with all pre-requisites for two degree programs). I was given 24 hours to come up with my full tuition out of pocket. (so about $1600 after having done books out of pocket)
Anyway, if possible you should have at least one quarter worth of tuition & books in savings in case something comes up.

Take a look at the local college websites. They have sections dedicated to scholarships and let you know what each of the current scholarships is looking for.
Bellevue College
UW
Cascadia (no info right now, but will be useful later)

 

[Fly Girl]

We gave our kids $5 for each A on their report card. This was a small token of recognition of their hard work.

We also paid for college for each child. DS had poorer grades and got into a smaller and less expensive college. He had a car since he needed one in HS, and just kept it during college. The car is gone now, and we haven't replaced it. We have to get out of the "buy a car for the kid" sometime.

DD had good grades, won a big scholorship and got into a first-rate art college. The out of pocket cost for us was about the same as for DS. She went to college in a major city, and did not get a car until after graduation. We are still providing her with car upkeep funds until she gets a better job.

Different strokes for different folks, but still fair to what each needed when they needed it. And, they do recognize this.