WWYD? Re: Travel/Working/Friend

[decodelighted]

Soooooo. A friend of mine''s husband has to travel far away for work for three weeks. She is, um, underemployed right now. Money is tight-ish. His company may assist with some of these options, may not.

Which of the following options would you select, under the same circumstances.

 

[meresal]

To be honest... I don''t think 3 weeks is all that long. If it is going to cost them anything out of pocket, and they are struggling financially, then I would just wait to see him when he got home.

However, if disposabale income allowed, I would meet somewhere exotic in the middle.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I agree with Meresal...I voted to just stay home, three weeks isn''t that long.

Personally, from your posting, it makes it sound like they don''t have much disposable income...personally, I think that putting aside excess travel is probably a good idea. It''s unfortunate that he has to be gone for so long, but there is no need to chase him around...it''s only three weeks, not 3 months.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:18:16 PM
Author: meresal
To be honest... I don''t think 3 weeks is all that long. If it is going to cost them anything out of pocket, and they are struggling financially, then I would just wait to see him when he got home. However, if disposabale income allowed, I would meet somewhere exotic in the middle.

Thanks for the response! Three weeks sounds like a long time to me because my husband just got back from a ten day trip & it seemed like forever! Probably because some mildly traumatic stuff happens every time he leaves (it seems) -- stuff waits to break until he''s gone, bats get into the house, pets get sick ... LOL.

 

[Shoopy]

I should have waited until the poll was finished

When I voted it was at the exotic place so I voted for him to come home if the company allows it.

However, I''ve traveled for work for 3 weeks straight before and didn''t come home. It wasn''t too hard. And my bathroom was remodeled because he got bored

 

[soocool]

My husband travels a lot and sometimes it is for a few weeks at a time. If he is not in Europe then he comes home for a weekend at his company''s expense. That was something he negotiated up front before he took on the position and no it is not so he can bring home his dirty laundry. They pay all expenses phone calls home, dry cleaning, laundry, etc and the plane ticket home and the limo service home and back to the airport.

 

[meresal]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:25:01 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/7/2009 2:18:16 PM
Author: meresal
To be honest... I don''t think 3 weeks is all that long. If it is going to cost them anything out of pocket, and they are struggling financially, then I would just wait to see him when he got home. However, if disposabale income allowed, I would meet somewhere exotic in the middle.

Thanks for the response! Three weeks sounds like a long time to me because my husband just got back from a ten day trip & it seemed like forever! Probably because some mildly traumatic stuff happens every time he leaves (it seems) -- stuff waits to break until he''s gone, bats get into the house, pets get sick ... LOL.

Deco, are you sure these "mishaps" aren''t planned?? Sounds like hubby is trying to keep you close to the nest while he''s away!

 

[MonkeyPie]

Three weeks isn''t so bad. I would hate it, but I would rather not make an already difficult situation worse by spending money.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:29:02 PM
Author: fieryred33143
I''ve traveled for work for 3 weeks straight before and didn''t come home. It wasn''t too hard. And my bathroom was remodeled because he got bored

LOL. Shoot! Now *I* want to get a three-week OOT gig somewhere. Our bathroom needs help. I''ll have to hide all the videogames before I left though

Even then I don''t think he''d get *that* bored. Rats.

 

[Maisie]

I don''t think 3 weeks is too bad. I know it seems to drag when its happening though.

 

[monarch64]

I voted that 3 weeks isn''t THAT long...especially when you can''t really afford to spend money on travel.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:35:48 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
Three weeks isn''t so bad. I would hate it, but I would rather not make an already difficult situation worse by spending money.

Ditto here.

It would suck, but I''d deal.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:40:34 PM
Author: geckodani

Date: 4/7/2009 2:35:48 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
Three weeks isn't so bad. I would hate it, but I would rather not make an already difficult situation worse by spending money.

Ditto here.

It would suck, but I'd deal.

Me too; my dh did it for a couple of months a few years ago. It is hard; hubby left for 10 days the other day and I really missed him but I had other things I needed to get done and I wanted to use the money I would have used to go with for something else. Maybe her dh can come home one weekend? My dh had that option for the 3 months he was gone and that helped to see him for a little bit in between.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:36:33 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/7/2009 2:29:02 PM
Author: fieryred33143
I''ve traveled for work for 3 weeks straight before and didn''t come home. It wasn''t too hard. And my bathroom was remodeled because he got bored

LOL. Shoot! Now *I* want to get a three-week OOT gig somewhere. Our bathroom needs help. I''ll have to hide all the videogames before I left though

Even then I don''t think he''d get *that* bored. Rats.

This reminded me, while I was gone on that trip I called him and could hear Carrie in the background. I said "are you watching my Sex and the City DVDs??????"

He totally was too. He claims the DVD was in the player so he just turned it on. Sure.

 

[kcoursolle]

If the company has a policy for family travel to meet her than I would do that. If they don''t, then I''d just deal with the 3 weeks. I don''t think 3 weeks is too bad as long as she doesn''t have to travel all the time.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:43:03 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 4/7/2009 2:36:33 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/7/2009 2:29:02 PM
Author: fieryred33143
I''ve traveled for work for 3 weeks straight before and didn''t come home. It wasn''t too hard. And my bathroom was remodeled because he got bored

LOL. Shoot! Now *I* want to get a three-week OOT gig somewhere. Our bathroom needs help. I''ll have to hide all the videogames before I left though

Even then I don''t think he''d get *that* bored. Rats.

This reminded me, while I was gone on that trip I called him and could hear Carrie in the background. I said ''are you watching my Sex and the City DVDs??????''

He totally was too. He claims the DVD was in the player so he just turned it on. Sure.

Bwah hah hah hah hah!!!

 

[decodelighted]

You guys are awesome. I was thinking this was the most boring poll ever & no one would respond! Yet I was really curious what most folks would do. I still keep thinking three weeks is L-O-N-G. Just a lack of experience I guess!

(Can''t imagine what my Grandma went through with two small babies at home (one w/special needs) & a husband at *war*. **shudder** She sure was strong though. During & afterwards.)

 

[mercoledi]

I''m the outlier here. I think three weeks apart would totally suck. Doable? Yes. And sucky.

How spendy is all this travel? I think having him come back to see *your friend* while he''s working is kinda unfair, especially if this is really really far away. The other options seem kinda doable, depending on the distance and cash involved. Airfares have been plummeting and cheap hotels are always findable. Your *friend* does know that PSers are wicked deal finders, right? It''s free to look aorund and price out what it would cost for the weekend away or weekend in between.

 

[zhuzhu]

I would stay home and concentrate on my own job hunt.

 

[elrohwen]

I travel all the time for work and 3 weeks is a long time; for me personally. However, even in my current situation (with both of us employed) if my work wouldn't pay for me to travel home for a weekend, we'd just stay separated. It's long, but not *that* long.

ETA: Deco, I totally agree with you that 3 weeks is long! I'm usually gone 2-5 days at a time and by the end of the 4th or 5th day I'm *so* ready to go home. I would be miserable being gone for 3 weeks. My company is generally nice and lets you go home for a weekend if you're gone for a few weeks, but luckily I've never been in that position. I'd probably be too cheap to bring FI out for a visit, but I guess it all depends on how much the plane ticket would cost.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:32:15 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 4/7/2009 2:25:01 PM
Author: decodelighted
Three weeks sounds like a long time to me because my husband just got back from a ten day trip & it seemed like forever! Probably because some mildly traumatic stuff happens every time he leaves (it seems) -- stuff waits to break until he''s gone, bats get into the house, pets get sick ... LOL.

Deco, are you sure these ''mishaps'' aren''t planned?? Sounds like hubby is trying to keep you close to the nest while he''s away!

LOL. Never thought of it! Gonna have to watch him Wary Wary closely next time he packs his bags for a trip.

(word play! not idiocy!)

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 4/7/2009 2:43:03 PM
Author: fieryred33143
This reminded me, while I was gone on that trip I called him and could hear Carrie in the background. I said ''are you watching my Sex and the City DVDs??????'' He totally was too. He claims the DVD was in the player so he just turned it on. Sure.

Hahahahah! Love it.

I voted for the "it''s not that long" option, too, particularly if money is tight.

 

[dani13]

I voted to wait the 3 wks- its not that long at all, at least in my eyes.

 

[TravelingGal]

3 weeks is a fairly long time (TGuy was recently gone for two). But it goes by pretty fast, plus there''s ALL sorts of stuff you can do to enjoy the time apart! I invite gal pals over for cocktail hour (cost effective, especially if you want to do some kind of potluck) and it''s always fun to catch up and talk about our men without them around. I watch movies that TGuy won''t touch. I make nice dinners just for myself and open up good bottles of wine. Hee!

 

[kama_s]

I voted for no visits. Seriously, I dont think 3 weeks is long enough to warrant spending a lot of money especially when you''re financially tight. Mr. Kama used to travel a lot the first two years at his current job, and always super exotic places like Paris, Milan etc. His company offered to pay for me to go visit the fist few times, but they obviously couldnt pay everytime. Even though we could easily afford it, I just stayed put in my home, talked to him everyday and spent time with hobbies and friends.

Personally, I do love some time apart every now and then. You get time to do things you normally cant! Also, I love being alone in my house. It''s a great feeling!

 

[tlh]

I''d agree w/ Meresal. I did a 2+ week trip for work - and I had work to keep me busy, and DH had the furbabies.

If this was something your friend''s husband would have to do A LOT ... I''d want to find a way to make it work and see my DH... more often. But if this is just a 3 week trip he''d only have to make every other year... I''d tough it out- and save the money he was working so hard to earn.

 

[Mara]

3 weeks is not a long time in general, but it can feel very long when your mate is gone. I love being alone for 2-3 days but after that I am like....READY NOW! Greg''s last trip was 5 days and I was climbing the walls, I was also really sick so I was stuck at home AND alone...extra bored and cranky. He was probably thanking his lucky stars he escaped.

But if we didn''t have the cash and the company wouldn''t spring for it, I would just suck it up and stay home for the 3 weeks. Or do something fun with my girlfriends....or multiple fun things etc. If the company did spring, I''d go visit.

BUT you didnt have this in your options.... if I was NOT working at all (you said under not unemployed) and we could get the travel for really cheap (airfare is pretty cheapo right now), I would go stay with him for the whole three weeks. Why not?

But absence makes the heart grow fonder?

 

[Diamond*Dana]

If money is tight then I would not travel with him, or to visit, unless his company paid for it.

 

[Haven]

I voted no visit, but only because of the financial situation.

My good friend''s husband was just on an out-of-state assignment for four weeks, and he arranged with his company to pay for his wife to take that entire four weeks off of work and for his company to cover her lost pay, their mortgage for that month, and to pay for housing out-of-state, and a few trips back home, as this went down over the holidays. Sweet deal if you ask me! (His company really wanted him to relocated to this location, though, so they were pretty much willing to do anything to entice him over there, as they apparently thought that the stay would convince them to up and move. Didn''t work--she just got a nice holiday!)

 

[CNOS128]

I think in reality I wouldn't visit, because I really don't think 3 weeks is very long (although it would drive my fiance nuts to be in a strange place without me for that long). But if I were un(der)employed or not in school, and had no pets (or a pet-sitter), I would totally go with him. I love being in new places, even if they aren't exciting!!