Wrong stone shape - what to do?

[vanilla87]

Hello fellow LIW

I have a little dilemma. On the weekend i bought my BF a new wallett as his was looking a little old. We sat down and began emptying his old wallett out and i came across a quote from a jeweller for stones and settings. The quotes he was given were on princess cut stones.... I quickly put the quote back in his old wallett and pretended not to see it. He is insistant on keeping my ering and engagement a suprise.

We have spoken on many an occasion about my shape preference and all along i have told him that i LOVE round brilliant cuts and that i would not want a square stone. I love the timeless look of a round stone and the princess cut however beautiful does not appeal to me as much. In the last month, i decided i would stop mentioning rings/engagement etc as i thought i had given him plenty of info about what i like and dont like and i wanted to leave the rest up to him.

What do i do? I promised myself and him that i would not stick my nose in anymore... but i know if i end up with a princess cut stone i will be dispointed. This may sound spolied and ungrateful but i have my heart set on a round stone and i thought i made it very clear that i desire a round!!

opinions and advice please

 

[Mashira]

That's quite a pickle... Honestly I have no advice (that wouldn't violate your promise), but I do hope that you get a RB ((Hugs))

 

[AdiamondJ]

I wouldn't freak out too much just yet, there are many reasons why he had the quote for the princess there, like maybe the jeweler wanted to give him a comparison price to the round? Or maybe it was one they had on sale and were trying to push it on him? Maybe it could even be for a different gift?? Or maybe he put it there to freak you out and throw you off the scent! lol It doesn't really make sense that he would be looking at princess cuts for your engagement ring when you have made it so clear about how much you love rounds. Just try to relax and perhaps try to subtlety mention how much you love rounds again, maybe show him a picture of a ring with a round brilliant you like and say "look how beautiful that is, I just love rounds, they're definitely my favourite!" or something along those lines. Plus you have a wonderfully huge range of beautiful rings here on PS to use as your 'gentle negotiation'. If that doesn't seem to work, maybe you do just need to butt in one last time and just really make it clear what you want and why you want it. I know you don't want to pry anymore but shapes are a very personal preference and I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be disappointed! Dust for your dream ring!!!

 

[PrincessNatalie]

Or could it have been really old? I have stuff in my wallet from when the dinosaurs roamed the earth

 

[Mrs.W 514]

That is kind of a tough situation. You could strategically place bridal magazines/fashion magazines around the house open to RBC rings or other RBC jewelry. You could buy a pretty colored gem or small diamond pendant or earrings and say something along the lines of "I just love the sparkle of a RBC" ( I know it sounds silly but being sneaky doesn't always work) If you fell like your not getting through just tell him you saw the quote when you helped clean out the wallet and you just wanted to avoid the frustration of a return...and the wait!!!

I hope it all works out and hey he might just surprise you

 

[vanilla87]

Or could it have been really old? I have stuff in my wallet from when the dinosaurs roamed the earth

Haha... actually so do I!! Im sure there are many reasons why he has prices for princess cuts. I think perhaps I will take a risk and hope (and PRAY) that the quotes are old. We are going away for the weekend this week and im sure we will stumble across a nice jewellery store, where i can reinforce my love of a round stone

 

[ms.halo]

When I got engaged with my first ring I had told my husband I wanted round with a pave band. I ended up with a princess with a wide band ring with two inset rounds on each side. I was confused, because I thought I was very clear. I eventually asked him why (years later, as part of our discussions about my upgrade) and he said the jeweler told him I'd be happier with the princess because I'd get a bigger size stone for the same money. That made a lot of sense to my husband...and I think this is a tactic that some jewelers use.

I agree with the above posters who recommend you subtly talk about how much you love round stones.

 

[UnluckyTwin]

My SO's wallet is messy as all get out. His dollar bills are just crumpled in there and it drives me nuts when he goes to pull out cash and tons of little pieces of paper fall out. I asked him one night if I could organize his wallet (I live for organization) and he said yes, and I found a Zale's card with an item number on it and some stuff written by the salesperson on the back, like carat size, that it was three-stone, and the price. I asked him about it and he said it was really old and the salesperson was trying to push stuff on him and not to worry about whether it was ever really meant for me. So, for fun, I looked it up, and suffice it to say, it comes nowhere near anything I'd ever really want to wear.

The moral of that story is: guys sometimes carry old or irrelevant crap around with them.

A second story: I've told SO that I do NOT want a round stone many times. We're nowhere near ring shopping, but I'm hoping that if he doesn't let me in on the design process, he will hear my little voice in the back of his mind saying no rounds! A few nights ago I had a dream that he gave me a ring and it faced up as a round but that when you looked at it from the side it was actually shaped like a tooth (yes, as in it was big on top and tapered into sections on the bottom like the part of the tooth that is below the gum). I HATED it (who wouldn't?!) and tried to pretend to like it. When he asked me if I really did like it, a feeling came over me of, "Yes, because you bought it for me, and I'm glad that you did, and therefore I'll love it forever."

The moral of that story is: even if you don't get your dream ring, you may find that once he designs it and gives it to you that you love it with all your heart and never want to change it.

Now, if he gets you a round and you don't like it, I don't really know how to negotiate a return/exchange with him (e.g., if it might hurt his feelings). All I can do is wish you luck!

 

[reader]

I would find pics of rings I like and turn them into the screen saver.

 

[sillyberry]

I don't know...

If you are going to do anything, I would just tell him that you accidentally saw the quotes in his wallet while you were making the transfer, and you know you said you wouldn't get involved, but with a purchase this big you want him to know that while you'll love whatever he buys, you would really prefer a RB.

It seems to me that all of this sneaking around to let him know what you want is just as much getting involved, but less effectively.

 

[mary poppins]

I don't know...

If you are going to do anything, I would just tell him that you accidentally saw the quotes in his wallet while you were making the transfer, and you know you said you wouldn't get involved, but with a purchase this big you want him to know that while you'll love whatever he buys, you would really prefer a RB.

It seems to me that all of this sneaking around to let him know what you want is just as much getting involved, but less effectively.

I agree with this. If this is the guy you are going to marry, you should be able to communicate honestly and directly.

 

[Indylady]

Just tell him.

"Hey, I hope you remember that I want a ROUND stone for my e-ring. The cut is often called a ROUND BRILLIANT. Looks like a circle. Round. Love you!"

Just kidding; you don't need to use the world round 3 times like I did, but it couldn't hurt.

 

[TooPatient]

I don't know...

If you are going to do anything, I would just tell him that you accidentally saw the quotes in his wallet while you were making the transfer, and you know you said you wouldn't get involved, but with a purchase this big you want him to know that while you'll love whatever he buys, you would really prefer a RB.

It seems to me that all of this sneaking around to let him know what you want is just as much getting involved, but less effectively.

I agree with this. If this is the guy you are going to marry, you should be able to communicate honestly and directly.

This.

Besides....
Men don't take hints.

You can spend a month answering the question "what kind of cake do you want for your b-day" (chocolate), hinting that a gooey chocolate cake is the best thing ever, pointing out the chocolate on sale, leaving cookbooks open, etc....... and then...... get an applesauce spice cake (which you very specifically said - when asked weeks before - that you don't care for)


Anyway.... you were helping him switch his wallet over. It is not like you were snooping and found it -- it was an accident. Just mention NOW what happened and that you aren't trying to butt in, you'll love whatever he buys because you know how hard he worked to find it, but that you really prefer rb. Then leave it alone and let him do his thing.

 

[Amys Bling]

i found that not only showing pics of what you wnat/like help- but also pics of what you DON'T like.... he may have had have a jeweler say to him- you can get bigger/better quality with a princess- and it is a very popular cut.... maybe he then thought, hmm she likes round but never said anything about princess...


be very clear, and tell him- "one more thing about any future ring purchases, this is it I promise"...then show what you like and then what you don't like

 

[amc80]

I don't know...

If you are going to do anything, I would just tell him that you accidentally saw the quotes in his wallet while you were making the transfer, and you know you said you wouldn't get involved, but with a purchase this big you want him to know that while you'll love whatever he buys, you would really prefer a RB.

It seems to me that all of this sneaking around to let him know what you want is just as much getting involved, but less effectively.

I agree with this. If this is the guy you are going to marry, you should be able to communicate honestly and directly.

 

[LivingMyFairytale]

I completely agree...you should be honest. If you dont say anything, you could end up with a ring you dislike. Everyday you will look at it and feel bad because he spent all that money on it, but you won't want to hurt his feelings by telling him. Trust me, he will want to buy you something you LOVE, and will be proud to show off. Just tell him sweetly.

 

[Steel]

Just tell him.

"Hey, I hope you remember that I want a ROUND stone for my e-ring. The cut is often called a ROUND BRILLIANT. Looks like a circle. Round. Love you!"

Just kidding; you don't need to use the world round 3 times like I did, but it couldn't hurt.

OP: Could he have known you would look - therefore it is a red herring?

 

[PrincessNatalie]

Any update? Have you had a talk with him?

 

[vanilla87]

Thanks everyone for your advice

I decided to bite the bullet and have a chat with thim about it. Turns out it was a few months old and he's admitted that at the time he didnt know much about diamonds and throught a princess cut was a round stone!! He said he has since found out that it is a square stone and will not be going back to the jeweller as they didnt give him any education about diamonds at all. I suggested he done some more research so he will be better informed next time. To this he said he had done plenty more research on a site called PRICESCOPE and had already made a decision on a stone and setting.....

This is where the conversation ended.... He smiled, gave me a hug and told me to forget about it cos he's got it under control and i wont have to wait too much longer

I am so glad i had that conversation with him!

 

[Autumnovember]

Thanks everyone for your advice

I decided to bite the bullet and have a chat with thim about it. Turns out it was a few months old and he's admitted that at the time he didnt know much about diamonds and throught a princess cut was a round stone!! He said he has since found out that it is a square stone and will not be going back to the jeweller as they didnt give him any education about diamonds at all. I suggested he done some more research so he will be better informed next time. To this he said he had done plenty more research on a site called PRICESCOPE and had already made a decision on a stone and setting.....

This is where the conversation ended.... He smiled, gave me a hug and told me to forget about it cos he's got it under control and i wont have to wait too much longer

I am so glad i had that conversation with him!

Thats awesome!!!!! I'm glad everything worked out!

 

[slg47]

oh me too! i am so glad it worked out!