CurlySue
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2009
- Messages
- 792
I''m torn about this decision and just want some outside opinions. In the grand scheme of things, it''s really no big deal and I probably should suck it up and just figure this out on my own, but just wanted to see what others would do. The question is about whether you would or would not invite a particular person (and their spouse) to your wedding.
Here''s the background: FI and I set our guest list months ago and made a big effort to keep it as small as possible. We are estimating about 100-120 guests. All of the friends we have on our guest list are friends that we feel particularly close to and see/keep in touch with regularly. Save the Dates were sent out the first week in April.
I have two main groups of girlfriends - one from college and one from grad school. Most of the girls in each group live in different cities. Every year, each of these groups plan a "girls'' weekend" that we all travel to so we can see each other and hang out and have fun. So this year, in place of those two individual trips, my bridesmaids are planning one girls'' weekend for my closest friends in place of a shower/bachelorette.
There is one girl in my group of grad school friends who used to regularly participate in our weekend getaway trips, but in the last few years, she has had a lot going on in her life and we haven''t seen much or heard much from her. Let''s call her Jane. While I like Jane and have no problems with Jane whatsoever, I personally haven''t been in touch with her in the last two years outside of Christmas cards and an occasionally emailed photo album of her kids. In fact, out of our group of 6 girls, really only 1 other girl (let''s call her Kelly) has been in touch with her recently.
Since FI and I intentionally kept our guest list small, and I haven''t seen/talked to Jane in two years, I did not add her and her husband to the guest list for the wedding... and therefore, she was not invited to the girls'' weekend that is, for all intents and purposes, my bachelorette party.
Well, as it turns out (as I probably should have anticipated), Kelly and Jane spoke yesterday and Kelly told Jane about my engagement. After they spoke, Kelly emailed one of my bridesmaids and said, "be sure to send Jane and invite to the bachelorette party." Now - I don''t think Kelly has any idea who''s on our wedding guest list, so I doubt she thinks she''s doing anything wrong, but she probably shouldn''t have assumed Jane would be invited. I don''t know if Kelly TOLD Jane about the girls'' weekend or not, but I am guessing that she feels that since the bachelorette party is sort of like our grad school girls'' weekend this year, we might was well invite Jane.
Today, I got an email from Jane congratulating me on my engagement.
So now I am unsure of what to do about Jane. I feel it''s odd if we invite her to the girls'' weekend if she''s not invited to the wedding. So do I just shrug it off and add Jane and her husband to the guest list now that she has initiated contact? Or should I stick with the original plan of not inviting her?
Would you or wouldn''t you invite Jane?
Here''s the background: FI and I set our guest list months ago and made a big effort to keep it as small as possible. We are estimating about 100-120 guests. All of the friends we have on our guest list are friends that we feel particularly close to and see/keep in touch with regularly. Save the Dates were sent out the first week in April.
I have two main groups of girlfriends - one from college and one from grad school. Most of the girls in each group live in different cities. Every year, each of these groups plan a "girls'' weekend" that we all travel to so we can see each other and hang out and have fun. So this year, in place of those two individual trips, my bridesmaids are planning one girls'' weekend for my closest friends in place of a shower/bachelorette.
There is one girl in my group of grad school friends who used to regularly participate in our weekend getaway trips, but in the last few years, she has had a lot going on in her life and we haven''t seen much or heard much from her. Let''s call her Jane. While I like Jane and have no problems with Jane whatsoever, I personally haven''t been in touch with her in the last two years outside of Christmas cards and an occasionally emailed photo album of her kids. In fact, out of our group of 6 girls, really only 1 other girl (let''s call her Kelly) has been in touch with her recently.
Since FI and I intentionally kept our guest list small, and I haven''t seen/talked to Jane in two years, I did not add her and her husband to the guest list for the wedding... and therefore, she was not invited to the girls'' weekend that is, for all intents and purposes, my bachelorette party.
Well, as it turns out (as I probably should have anticipated), Kelly and Jane spoke yesterday and Kelly told Jane about my engagement. After they spoke, Kelly emailed one of my bridesmaids and said, "be sure to send Jane and invite to the bachelorette party." Now - I don''t think Kelly has any idea who''s on our wedding guest list, so I doubt she thinks she''s doing anything wrong, but she probably shouldn''t have assumed Jane would be invited. I don''t know if Kelly TOLD Jane about the girls'' weekend or not, but I am guessing that she feels that since the bachelorette party is sort of like our grad school girls'' weekend this year, we might was well invite Jane.
Today, I got an email from Jane congratulating me on my engagement.
So now I am unsure of what to do about Jane. I feel it''s odd if we invite her to the girls'' weekend if she''s not invited to the wedding. So do I just shrug it off and add Jane and her husband to the guest list now that she has initiated contact? Or should I stick with the original plan of not inviting her?
Would you or wouldn''t you invite Jane?