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Would you be upset if your parents didn't split up their fortunes..

Dancing Fire

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
33,852
evenly among all your siblings?

in old chinese culture the eldest son would inherit everything from their parents and the daughters will inherit zippo.
 
my parents didn't do that and they would never do that.
 
My parents are old-school WASP, and they love to disinherit their children, leaving everything to the grandchildren, a waitress/waiter, your nastiest cousin, their sorority/fraternity.
 
Mine are obsessively even -Right down to the penny -kids and the grankids too!
For example my son just got engaged with a family heirloom diamond that my father gave to him
My father went on to give other two grandchildren the approximate replacement value of the stone in cash even though neither kids are old enough to consider marriage!!
 
My parents are both gone and I didn't get anything when either passed away and it's fine, I don't think my brothers got anything either. My husband and kids (furry and human) are worth more than anything I could have inherited.
 
Yes. If there was an estate and it wasn’t split evenly between me and my sibling, I would be very upset. We will split our estate evenly among our heirs too.
 
Other than 2 properties, and Mom's bling, I have no idea what my parents have.
My sis is not in their good graces right now, so I might get it all and have to split it with her.
 
I told my parents if they can't give it to me while they're alive, I sure as hell don't want it when they're dead. Basically I don't want what I haven't got. They have lots of grandkids. better to leave whatever they have with them in my view.
 
My parents didn’t get a choice - dad died unexpectedly and mum followed him 9 months later. My sister and I split the estate evenly but we had never expected or planned to inherit anything from them.
 
Yes I would be absolutely livid! Don't believe in that "eldest son gets all bulls*it".... :angryfire:

I'm not expecting anything (in fact we are encouraging them to really enjoy their well-earnt retirement!) BUT they are currently very fair and even with any gifts including money. I think most likely we will inherit some antique furniture which again has been carefully divided between all 4 daughters.
 
My mother’s proposed dispersion of her jewellery has me very mad, still. She told me about “the list” some 3 years ago. She has a few very valuable pieces and she isn’t splitting them by value, instead “piece by piece”. My sister will be getting the $90,000 odd diamond ring, I’m getting the damaged diamond (that I told her to reset in a pendant) etc. Oh, and wait for it, she is splitting her 6 pairs of expensive earrings between me and my sister. No, not 3 pairs each, we are each getting 6 single earrings!
But That isn’t what has me mad, I have a brother and a sister. We all have a daughter (ie 3 grand daughters). My mother isn’t giving my brother anything, nor his daughter. I think this is very unfair and told my mother to split it all, 3 ways by $$$ between the 3 granddaughters.
Seeing as I’m executor (only one living in Australia AND only one running around after my aging parents) I’m tempted to “lose the list” and just split it fairly.
Naughty me, but I’m a stickler for fairness.
 
It’s grossly unfair not to treat children exactly the same, doesn’t matter what their circumstances are, any division should be on an equal basis.
 
Don't really care to be honest. It is their money and they can do what they please as they see fit.
It bugs me more if they try and use money to buy my affection as it does not work with me - they tried but failed as I would just ignore them for months.
Besides, objects cannot be split evenly and I already have the items that are dear to me, such as one of my dad's tea set and my mum's MRB and Ruby cluster. There are other objects that I would like to have, more for sentimental than monetary value.
I have seen how my parents' siblings fell out over money and favouritism with my grandparents over the years starting at a young age. Very ugly and I swear I shall not be like their brothers and/or sisters and fight over money.
Don't care about my sister as we do not get on and have not communicated with each other since 2002.
However I keep telling my mum to make sure my brother has a roof over his head as he is not capable of looking after himself, whereas I can.

DK :))
 
When my MIL passed, she left a very valuable piece of real estate property to my SIL - leaving nothing to my husband or his other sister. It had a devastating impact on him - not because of the monetary value - but because ever since, he has felt that his mother didn't love him as much as she loved his sister. How sad is that?

:cry2:
 
BlingObsession said:
When my MIL passed, she left a very valuable piece of real estate property to my SIL - leaving nothing to my husband or his other sister. It had a devastating impact on him - not because of the monetary value - but because ever since, he has felt that his mother didn't love him as much as she loved his sister. How sad is that?

:cry2:
Click to expand...

That is very sad! My (divorced) parents have been talking about how they wish to help my sister and I before they pass and they're really concerned on making it fair for both of us - especially my mother as I'm closer to building my first home than my sister is and we're going to have a big lot with a farm style house, small separate residence for my mother, workshops/sheds etc for everything we need. My sister has recently gotten engaged but she is not close to having a family or buying a house at this point and I don't blame my parents for not wanting to hand over big chunks of money to us without something it's going towards. I see that as being fair personally.

Honestly though, I am OK with however my parents distribute their estates - as long as they see it as a fair appropriation of what they worked their entire lives for. They could gamble it all the day before they die and I couldn't care less as it's theirs to do what they want with. I know my parents wouldn't actually do that, but it's also my way of reminding myself to be thankful for everything they have done for me and continue to do. If they gave it all to my sister I would probably feel a little hurt but would end up rationalizing it somehow - even if her treatment of her parents and myself has been a little less than satisfactory and part of me would always wonder why.
 
Based on personal experience, sibling rivalry and favouritism sucks big time.
My elder sister is favoured by my dad; my younger brother is favoured because he is a boy (I am Chinese).
So I grew up being the rebel middle child! :twisted::twisted::twisted:

DK :lol:
 
My mum also gave me her carre cut band, now re-set as a bracelet that I love.
The ring was very dear to me as I was there when she picked the diamonds and had it made.
She also had some pieces made for me at the time too that I regrettably sold except for the studs.
Being with her jewellery shopping when I was in my early teens is one of my fondest memories of my mum.

DK :))
 
Well, my parents don't have a "fortune," but they have stipulated for anything left behind to be split 50/50 between me and my sister. They have a lake house in New England and a house on the water in Florida (on a canal, worth about 1/2 of what the New England house is.) BUT......

They always say stuff like "well, I hope you would leave the house (New England one-where my sister lives) to your sister since you already have a house."

"Well, you are well taken care of so you SHOULD leave the house to your sister."

Shit like that infuriates me. My sister has never married, and is not good with her finances. She is in her early 40's and still rents and spends all her money on coach purses instead of saving for a house. Not sure how that makes it my responsibility to just give her part of my inheritance. I've always been independent, worked 2 jobs, paid my own way. She has relied on my parents for everything. Still does her laundry at their house. I can't STAND it when they expect me to carry on as they've done with her after they are gone. :???::???::???::???:

So while they have it in their will to split everything 50/50, you can tell they REALLY think she should get more. I have told my mother on several occasions to just STFU and leave her the more expensive house because I'm sick of hearing about it.
 
If that’s the case, then it’ll go to nobody because they have no sons.
 
I have seen the wills...it is split evenly. Would I be mad if it were not...probably but it would depend on the circumstances. My parents have always
been pretty fair between the 3 of us. I dont count on anything...its their money and they are in pretty good shape physically so I think they will live
long enough to spend the majority of it!
 
What they do with their money is not any of my business. From what I was told by my parents my sister and I are getting 40% each and their grandchildren are getting 10% each. But that might have changed and I wouldn't be surprised if I got less of a percentage and my nieces got more. That is A OK with me. My nieces have their college and graduate school educations ahead of them and those will not be cheap and my dh and I do not need their money. Plus my parents really do not have much money as it is at this stage and I would rather they be here with us than have their money. No contest.
 
I would very much prefer it if my parents used their wealth to enjoy life and live it to the fullest. They worked hard for it and deserve it 100%.
 
My dad died pretty young. My mom had nothing of monetary value when she died. That's fine, I never expected or wanted anything. DH's family will tear itself apart when MIL passes. I don't want ANY part of that whatsoever. Not a single thing is worth that, and I hope he feels the same otherwise he will end up not talking to his siblings. They are very materialistic (as is MIL), and we are not. Just not worth it over inanimate objects. I suspect if there is money, that it won't be equal. His sister will get it because she's thought of as a sad case, incapable of supporting herself. She's 60 years old!
 
DH and I are leaving our $ evenly to our kids.
I have seen the result of uneven inheritances and have friends that no longer speak to siblings over money.
I was executor of my parents estate and saw first hand how money can bring out the worst in siblings.
Our $ will go to our kids and they can choose how to distribute to any grand-children. They can spend it on hookers and blow if they choose.
And I will not leave less or more $$ to children depending on their circumstances. Barring ,of course, a truly unavoidable physical/mental impairment.

I have also heard of people who dole out the inheritance dependent upon the offsprings income. Meaning they all get an annual payout based on their earnings. Those who chose not to work do not get as much as those who earn more. Interesting concept.
And as Warren Buffet preaches--it is no good to leave your children so much $$ that they do not have to work. That is a bad thing.
 
HI:

My Father died young (50) and my Mother is A & W at 82. She has been alone a long time and that hasn't been easy. I hope she spends every last cent on herself. She has already indicated the assets from her home will be split evenly between us 4 daughters.

cheers--Sharon
 
It's not going to be even, but my parents have been up front about it. Long story short, I have a very irresponsible brother who has needed financial assistance most of his adult life due to poor life choices. They made it clear that any money they gave him now would be a draw on his future inheritance unless he paid it back, which he never did.

(I'm happy to say that years ago my parents finally cut him off and told him to grow up and be responsible. That hasn't been successful, but at least it's no longer their financial burden)

I believe the way the will is set up is that the grandkids get some and the kids get some. My sister is unhappy because she didn't have kids and feels she should get more vs. giving money to the grandkids. Me? I say spend it all while you're living and don't worry about us. They worked very hard to provide a good life for us while we were their responsibility, continued working hard to save for their future, and by golly they should live it to the fullest while they can.
 
In a way that's what happened in my family. My oldest brother is the prodigal child. My parents probably spent more money on him, than the other 3 children combined even counting college education costs. So yeah, I have resentment of this, especially as it impacts my parents' quality of life, and the fact they have limited means to spend quality time with their other kids and their grandkids. My parents are old. I appreciate any time I have with them. Time is short.
 
My husbands parents (divorced many years) have both left everything to be split evenly 3 ways to their sons. My FIL died on New Years Day last year (2017) & his estate was vast & complicated, so still going through probate. We lost my father suddenly almost 17 years ago & everything went to my mum. As with my husbands mum, everything will be split evenly between me & my 3 siblings. In the instances of both families, it will then be down to us to pass things on to our children as we see fit, whether it be money or items. But it will be fair when the time comes, which I hope is many many years away for both our lovely & still fighting fit mummies.
 
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