Would you be mad if........

[Guilty Pleasure]

I wore a cream colored dress with big orange flowers on it to a rehearsal dinner; I think the bride had a cream dress with black accents. I wore the same dress to a wedding the next year. I wore a white linen skirt and colorful top to a couples shower; the bride was in black. I wore a knee-length white dress with big green flowers on it as a bridesmaid (MOH) in a backyard wedding; the bride thought it was cute and said it would be perfect for her non-matchy look. I asked, "Are you sure you are okay with me having white on my dress?" Her reply was, "It''s not like you''re showing up in a full length white ball gown... I think people will know who''s getting married!" I laughed.

My point is that I wouldn''t have a problem with someone wearing white in general, but I do think that an all white dress with no color on it would be odd. I wouldn''t be mad at the person, but I would wonder what other people think about them.

 

[Haven]

Based on the details of her behavior, I would be more mad at myself for choosing a frenemy to be my maid of honor. She does not sound like a real friend.

I''m sorry she did that. It wouldn''t have bothered me, but I can understand how it would bother you in light of her other behavior.

 

[Porridge]

Yeah I''d mind. White''s MY colour! But she probably really didn''t realise.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Oh, it sounds like she not only realized, but planned it that way! How tacky...especially if it was after September!

 

[musey]

I honestly don''t think I''d even notice!

 

[musey]

Date: 2/2/2009 12:42:57 PM
Author: tlh
I guess why this bothers me... is I think she did so intentionally. She was LATE to the rehearsal, my shower, and didnt attend my bachellorette party. Then she talked about how bored she was at my shower to other people who weren''t involved.. and posted pictures of her ''yawning'' during my shower on the internet. (Um, she got the pictures from me. mind you.) It was like she was jealous that I was getting married first. Her man even asked her father for her hand during my wedding reception... and then he and the father told everyone about it, including my maid of honor. Then she left immediately after the bridal party dance, before the party had ended.

While I was on my honeymoon, he flew her to the beach to propose. She never once asked about my honeymoon, and planned her entire wedding in 3 weeks. I should disclose that I had been a LIW for 3 years, and she met her current fiancee 6 months before my wedding.

I guess it really is more than just the dress... but part of me wonders if she did so like subconsiously. I don''t know how to bring it up, because I just feel like it was her little green monster coming up throughout the entire event. I guess I just wished my friend would have been more supportive, and I wonder if the dress was something she did intentionally or what.... I wondered what you ladies thought....

It sounds like the dress is the smallest of your beefs with this friend. You may not even have noticed or been bothered by the white dress(es) if it weren''t for the other stuff.

 

[Elmorton]

The other stuff that this girl did? Not cool - you have every right to be ticked.

But wearing white before and after the wedding? A bridal shower is an event where people tend to wear pastel or light colors. A next day breakfast would be the same color scheme. And, if it was summer (which I''m assuming this case isn''t in light of when it was posted, but if it was), I feel like white is totally fair game in nearly any circumstance. I just can''t say I would be bothered if a friend wore white to my shower or brunch - in fact, I remember friends wearing white to my shower, so there ya go. I''m sorry...I''m just really surprised by all the responses in reaction to just the wardrobe choice - in my head, I''m hearing the voice of Miranda in SATC: "You get a DAY, Charlotte, a DAY..."

 

[jcarlylew82]

Date: 2/2/2009 12:42:57 PM
Author: tlh
Hm, I guess I am a little uppety.

1) It was an all white dress, with no other colors designs or patterns.

2) She wore a bridesmaids dress day of, so I wasn''t offended day of...

I guess why this bothers me... is I think she did so intentionally. She was LATE to the rehearsal, my shower, and didnt attend my bachellorette party. Then she talked about how bored she was at my shower to other people who weren''t involved.. and posted pictures of her ''yawning'' during my shower on the internet. (Um, she got the pictures from me. mind you.) It was like she was jealous that I was getting married first. Her man even asked her father for her hand during my wedding reception... and then he and the father told everyone about it, including my maid of honor. Then she left immediately after the bridal party dance, before the party had ended.

While I was on my honeymoon, he flew her to the beach to propose. She never once asked about my honeymoon, and planned her entire wedding in 3 weeks. I should disclose that I had been a LIW for 3 years, and she met her current fiancee 6 months before my wedding.

I guess it really is more than just the dress... but part of me wonders if she did so like subconsiously. I don''t know how to bring it up, because I just feel like it was her little green monster coming up throughout the entire event. I guess I just wished my friend would have been more supportive, and I wonder if the dress was something she did intentionally or what.... I wondered what you ladies thought....

wow. at first i was like,
well, its kinda a airhead move, but no big deal. Reading all that.. well.. she was definately trying to get on your nerve!!

 

[tlh]

Date: 2/2/2009 5:35:13 PM
Author: Haven
Based on the details of her behavior, I would be more mad at myself for choosing a frenemy to be my maid of honor. She does not sound like a real friend.

I''m sorry she did that. It wouldn''t have bothered me, but I can understand how it would bother you in light of her other behavior.

That is kinda how I felt in hind sight. But we;ve been friends a long time... I just think jealousy reared her little head, and it wasn''t pretty.
Just kinda makes me a little sad.

Oh well. Pitty party over, my husband rocks- and it didn''t ruin my events.... just took me awhile thinking about it to figure out what bothered me. It was just a day, and I have a great marriage- I am just a little sad that such a close friend wouldn''t have been happier. But, eh, I guess we''ve all got our little demons.

 

[kellybelly]

tlh, you have buckets of issues with this girl and her intentional white dresses. some people are attention whores and just refuse to stay in their place even at other people''s events.

oh wait, is this at all like my MOH going out with the BM (future bro in law) a month before my wedding, never telling me about it, letting it slip out the day after my bachelorette party at my house, and then expecting me to be fine with it? yeah yeah, it''s pretty much the same.

people do certain things and you can say "oh well, thats her" or chalk it up to a lack of judgement, but it doesn''t make it right. i''m not a big fan of letting things go when they are obviously intentional. nothing can change what already happened, but i think stating your case is a good thing for two reasons-- you point out bad behaviour, and also set your boundaries.

i''m still in the throes of my drama, but i''ll keep you posted....

 

[kellybelly]

sorry if i jacked the thread! i''m stressed and not thinking straight...

 

[galvana]

I honestly dont think i would be mad.

 

[tlh]

Date: 2/3/2009 1:02:47 AM
Author: kellybelly
tlh, you have buckets of issues with this girl and her intentional white dresses. some people are attention whores and just refuse to stay in their place even at other people''s events.

oh wait, is this at all like my MOH going out with the BM (future bro in law) a month before my wedding, never telling me about it, letting it slip out the day after my bachelorette party at my house, and then expecting me to be fine with it? yeah yeah, it''s pretty much the same.

people do certain things and you can say ''oh well, thats her'' or chalk it up to a lack of judgement, but it doesn''t make it right. i''m not a big fan of letting things go when they are obviously intentional. nothing can change what already happened, but i think stating your case is a good thing for two reasons-- you point out bad behaviour, and also set your boundaries.

i''m still in the throes of my drama, but i''ll keep you posted....

no worry, I''m cool w/ TJ''s!

See, that might not bother me. It just depends on the friends... weddings bring out some people''s color, sometimes it is weepy happy blue, other times it is a horrible shade of 60''s green. Sometimes people are feeling in the "mood for love" and well... get a little nooky. Maybe they are just paving the way to a "G"''d wedding hook up. This could actually work in your favor because if their date is IN the wedding party they will be fully atentive and having a great time. Sometimes when their date isn''t in the wedding party you''ll hear complaints like "why can''t they sit at the head table? Why can''t I sit w/ my date out there??? blah blah blah."
The only way this backfires is if one of the two goes from hot to cold before the reception... then it is just ummm... AWKWARD! (Also some chicks need to get a few dates out of the way before they feel ok to mess the sheets....)
But I hope it works out alright... and not a lot of drama. I had a few interesting hook ups at my wedding, and just laughed my head off!

 

[whitetulips]

I don't understand why people care so much about this. I mean, I get that the day of the wedding you might not want other people wearing white- but who cares about the rehearsal and the day after?? I don't even think I would notice if somebody else was wearing white because I'd be too busy glowing from the fact that I was about to get/just got married.

eta: I just read more of thread and it just sounds like your 'friend' is not really a friend at all. I would be more upset that I picked somebody as self absorbed as her as my maid of honor than I would be for her white dress wearing antics.

 

[kama_s]

Hmm, yeah, I would be a tad bit annoyed. But dont let it get to you, it's not worth it! At my indian wedding, my cousin wore her WEDDING DRESS(!!!) at my wedding (which was far more embroidered and elaborate than mine!). Erm hello?! Ofcourse, this is not including the several other obvious attempts to upstage me. I was initially annoyed, but really, I was the bride and it was the happiest time of my life, so I just let her be. And despite everything, Mr. Kama and I were the centre of attention, so it didnt matter what she wore or did.

That said, it's time to drop her like she's hot!

 

[zoebartlett]

I wouldn''t be upset at all if someone wore white to anything wedding related. I know it would bother some though.

 

[tlh]

Hmm... I guess I would have been more bothered had she been NAKED. That could have been... AWKWARD!