Worrying about what other people think of my ring

[roxy7]

Hey gals,

Thanks sooo much. When I am feeling self-conscious about the ring, I will always come back to this thread and make myself feel better. I love pricescope!

Go over to show me the ring forum -- there''s a pic of the diamond under the thread titled "His heirloom antique cushion"

 

[Odilia]

Here are some of the old threads about jealousy:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-ever-feel-guilty-about-your-ring.24620/

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-ever-feel-as-though-your-close-friends-feel-competative-about-your-e-rings.34322/

[url=https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/jealousy-do-you-experience-it-a-lot.21654/]https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/jealousy-do-you-experience-it-a-lot.21654/=


I know the feeling too, as my e-ring is a bigger diamond than most of my relatives'' and some friends''. When I first got it some people would say, "wow, that''s a rock!" I agree with so much of what has already been said here: don''t worry about what people think; people probably aren''t thinking about it anyway; the fact that yours is an inherited stone certainly helps ''justify'' it anyway, etc. etc.. Also folks don''t all spend money the same way. My DH and I were both single for a long time, and worked hard, and are very frugal. We don''t watch TV (hence no money spent on big TV or cable or dish or whatever...), don''t go to movies, don''t eat out much etc. etc. etc. So where some might be jealous of my jewelry, I know that in many cases they spend money in many ways that we don''t. It kind of makes me laugh, because I did feel this "Worrying about what other people think of my ring" that you speak of, and the way my ''ring fiasco'' turned out, I now have a second 0.94 ct diamond (the whole new wedding set cost less than many e-ring settings w/o center diamond), in addition to my 1.09ct; so now I have TWO diamonds that are larger than most of my friends''!

So, all the comments from these threads will help me too, after I reset my original e-ring diamond and folks notice I have TWO engagement rings!!

[/URL]

 

[Odilia]

I''m not sure, but I think somehow two of those links were the same. Maybe this is the right one?

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-ever-feel-guilty-about-your-ring.24620/

 

[GGLW]

Date: 2/1/2006 4:30:01 PM
Author: Caribou
1.5 is a nice size diamond...but also a common size for an engagment ring. I really wouldn''t worry about comments you get in regards to the size. If they are negative, I would chaulk it up as envy.

Although, I have to admit..my friend''s e-ring is a 1ct emerald cut. But it looks smaller...I don''t know if it''s the rest of the ring that makes it look smaller or maybe the cut of it but I''d hoped that mine wouldn''t look that small. Horrible I know. It is a lovely ring, but I still wonder if she''s not ''rounding off''.

Caribou,
I too am hoping for an EC engagement ring and worry that people won''t believe me when I tell them what size it is since ECs tend to look so much smaller than a round of a comparable carat weight. I''m hoping for a 1.1-1.25 EC and I think it may look close to a 1ct or less round...
I know I shouldn''t care, but most of my engaged/married friends have around 1.5 ct centers in bigger shapes like round, pear, and princess, so I don''t want them to go around feeling sorry for me or worse, making stupid comments behind my back about the size of my stone..
I think I just have to remember that I''m the one who will be wearing it and if I love it that''s all that matters....even if the green-eyed monster makes me feel bad for not having a bigger center.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

All of the etiquette experts say that it''s impolite to ask a person what size his/her stone is, probably because it can be construed as a round-about way of figuring out how much the stone cost. You could always look surprised and change the subject if someone asks. If they persist, you could ask "Why do you want to know?"

 

[moon river]

Date: 2/2/2006 3:28:57 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
All of the etiquette experts say that it''s impolite to ask a person what size his/her stone is, probably because it can be construed as a round-about way of figuring out how much the stone cost. You could always look surprised and change the subject if someone asks. If they persist, you could ask ''Why do you want to know?''

I''m afraid that these days you''ll do well to find someone that can even spell ''ETIQUETTE''.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 2/2/2006 3:53:13 PM
Author: moon river

Date: 2/2/2006 3:28:57 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
All of the etiquette experts say that it's impolite to ask a person what size his/her stone is, probably because it can be construed as a round-about way of figuring out how much the stone cost. You could always look surprised and change the subject if someone asks. If they persist, you could ask 'Why do you want to know?'

I'm afraid that these days you'll do well to find someone that can even spell 'ETIQUETTE'.

Too funny, moon. True though.....is that 'E T I or E D I'??

 

[princessv]

I think I got this from one of Dancing Fire''s old posts. When people make me feel self-conscious outright about my engagement ring and persist to know what size it is...I''ve resorted to spitting out the measurements.

I usually get a blank stare and no more questions.

 

[Julian]

I know what you mean... I recently told a newly engaged bride-to-be that my e-ring stone was inherited.

The lie just popped out! When she showed me her ring she was so excited -- I gushed over her beautiful ring and she glowed...UNTIL she saw mine -- and her face fell. She said, "Wow, your husband must love you a LOT." She seemed suddenly crestfallen... It was horrible. Hers WAS a big sparkly stone - it was at least 2 carats. But apparently mine made her feel terrible about her lovely ring.

So I blurted out that it was an inherited stone and there was no way he could have afforded it otherwise... When it's not true. It wasn't inherited at all, and he could afford it and wanted to give me this beautiful stone.

I felt soooo guilty about lying... but I think it made her feel better.

Was that wrong of me or what?

 

[moon river]

Date: 2/2/2006 8:19:26 PM
Author: Julian
I know what you mean... I recently told a newly engaged bride-to-be that my e-ring stone was inherited.

The lie just popped out! When she showed me her ring she was so excited -- I gushed over her beautiful ring and she glowed...UNTIL she saw mine -- and her face fell. She said, ''Wow, your husband must love you a LOT.'' She seemed suddenly crestfallen... It was horrible. Hers WAS a big sparkly stone - it was at least 2 carats.

So I blurted out that it was an inherited stone and there was no way he could have afforded it otherwise... When it''s not true. It wasn''t inherited at all, and he could afford it and wanted to give me this beautiful stone.

I felt soooo guilty about lying... but I think it made her feel better.

Was that wrong of me or what?

My goodness, sounds like a sitcom plot!!! Seriously, why do we care more about making others feel better at our own expense? We all do it. How big is your stone anyway. Her 2 carats is nothing to sneeze at.

 

[mightyred]

Honestly, it''s really between you and your FI. Please don''t worry. Just enjoy it and enjoy the sentiment.

Realistically, your ring will be too big for some, too small for others or too gaudy or too whatever for someone else. You don''t need to make ''them'' happy'' .....this ring is a symbol between just 2 special people and nothing else should matter. RMS had a great quote. I would read it and think that you are incredibly lucky to have that dilemma. You only have one life...enjoy it and spend it how you feel you should in your heart. If it''s too much you will know. I think deep down you know it''s ok

I hope you wear it well and as others have said.....send us many hand pictures!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I must be the only one who doesn''t mind when someone asks how big my diamond is. I guess I just figure they are curious. I wonder (but would NEVER have the guts to ask about other people''s rings) the only thing I refuse to discuss is price. To me that is just flat out rude.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/2/2006 11:59:59 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I must be the only one who doesn''t mind when someone asks how big my diamond is. I guess I just figure they are curious. I wonder (but would NEVER have the guts to ask about other people''s rings) the only thing I refuse to discuss is price. To me that is just flat out rude.

I have to say I''ve never minded either when someone inquires, and I agree with Tacori that I draw the line at price. It''s no one''s business but mine and DH''s, and it''s not as if my hand had a house on it, so people could check public records. I see nothing wrong with politely saying "I''d rather not discuss it." Anyone who has a problem with that response clearly needs to investigate their OWN issues.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 2/2/2006 8:19:26 PM
Author: Julian
She said, ''Wow, your husband must love you a LOT.''

That happened to me too ... by the appraiser! She also took one look at it and said "You helped pick it out, right!??"

As uncomfortable as it was at the time - I took it for what it was ... a compliment really. I don''t tie "love" to "stone" and she probably doesn''t either .. but sometimes people just ramble on and say the first stuff that pops into their heads .. God knows I''ve stammered out some whoppers by accident. We all have ... which is exactly why NOT to take anyone''s yammering personally.

 

[roxy7]

Yeah, you know, I think it kiind of sucks how some people project their expectations of what an engagement should be like onto others.

Maybe I'm not a romantic and just a realist. But when my boyfriend is going to be spending lots of his hard-earned on a ring for me, a ring that I have to wear every day for years upon years, I WANT to be involved. How much would it suck to be surprised with a ring I hate???

I respect that there are some women who would rather be surprised. But I don't want them to cast judgment on me for not wanting to be surprised and to be a part of the engagement ring process.

I anticipate hearing people say rude comments (probably unintentional) about how it's unromantic, etc. Personally, I think this whole process has been uber-romantic for me. I have been sooooo excited since the process started and will remain excited for a long, long time. So nothing has been ruined for me, and I like to think he is happy because he knows that I am getting the dream ring that I truly want.

 

[Momoftwo]

Try this again, my last post blew up. Anyway, if anyone says to me "Your husband must love you a lot", I say "yes he does". I''m proud of that and if they ask the size of my ring, I tell them. No skin off my back. Just don''t ask how much it costs. Kind of like asking how much money someone makes. Some things just aren''t anyone''s business.

 

[ladykemma]

mom of two said: "if they ask the size of my ring, I tell them. No skin off my back. Just don't ask how much it costs. Kind of like asking how much money someone makes. Some things just aren't anyone's business"

I agree. how I get around this is I ask excitedly "tell me about your ring!"

people are generally happy to telll me the story/specs of their ring.

 

[perry]

Lots of good advice above.

However, if someone is really sticking their nose where it dosn''t belong here is another answer that can be of help in the right situation. "It''s paid for..." and perhaps add what you did with the money your SO did not have to spend on the ring.

OK, I''ll duck now..


Perry

 

[ladykemma]

whoops

oh, I''m not asking how much, I''m asking for dimensions, color, specifications, the story behind it....great way to meet another diamond junkie.