Working Full Time vs Part Time with a young baby

[missrachelk]

HI Everyone - As some of the ladies on the Preggo thread just heard, I've been offered a new job.

I'm really excited and it's a big promotion, but I am trying to get my head around the situation for my family and for child care and would love some insight and others' experiences.

Where I am is that with my current job, I have arranged to go back to work very part time (something like 20 hours a week) mostly from home so that I won't need regular child care. I have always said that I would rather sacrifice and even be broke for a while than to send my small baby to full time daycare. My mom didn't work full time when I was growing up, except for some scattered periods here and there. I honestly had no expectations going into this interview (it's a job I was passed over for last year, came open again and they contacted me knowing I'm pregnant and wouldn't be available until January).

I am looking at some figures and it's looking to me like even with this significant raise, if I end up needing full time day care, I will not be bringing home much more than if I stuck with my current job and part time plan. Depending on child care costs the difference will only be $150-$200 a week more for the new job.

Any thoughts? I don't love my current job, but it is perfectly acceptable in general, especially so for part time work from home as my dissatisfaction has come mostly from the physical office environment rather than the work itself. Current job is also in an industry I'm really interested in personally. The new job is an unknown (and a totally foreign industry, it's a super high tech research center at a major university and I was an English Major!), but I imagine I will like it, and it has a lot more opportunity to advance in the future. I do want more children, and anticipate wanting to start trying for #2 once our first is about age 2.

My personal situation is also definitely a factor in my decision making. My husband is in the restaurant industry and works nights. So if I'm working full time the only time I will see him is one weekday evening, Saturday mornings and all day Sunday. The evenings would be me and the baby on our own 4 days a week (well plus Saturdays so 5 days). He would probably keep the baby during the day and take her to day care / sitter / ?? around noon each day he works, so baby would be in care for about 5 hours a day.

When I first set up the part time work plan I said that if I was to work full time, not even talking about child care costs, I didn't think I would be happy because I would be so busy it would be hard to cook good healthy dinners and very hard for me to find time to exercise, and that on top of not seeing my husband much would probably leave me fairly unhappy.

I suppose I can always go for the new job and leave it if it doesn't work out? I may be able to go back to my current job and part time plan in that case. Or do I pass up the opportunity because it really doesn't seem like the ideal time in my life?

Longer term working for the university would probably be great, our kids may even be able to get in state tuition for free or almost nothing, which is huge. But with baby #1 still in my belly that is so far off it's hard for it to be a factor, while my day to day life in the evenings is a huge factor in my mind.

Thanks for getting through that novel and for your thoughts.

 

[pancake]

Rachel, I haven't gone back to work yet, but I will be closely following this thread to hear others' experiences.

Firstly: congratulations on the offer of promotion! That is fantastic recognition for you.

My own reflections thus far: I had my daughter in February, and initially planned to return to work part-time in August. Plan was for 3 days a week with my mother and MIL sharing the childcare. When the time came closer I could not bear thinking about the return to work, and in fact had intense feelings of anxiety and avoidance whenever it came up. I ended up postponing, initially until Sept/Oct, and now until Jan/Feb. I am completely happy with my decision not to go back yet, and I have to say that I am doubting that my inclination to work will return in any significant way by the time I start.

I knew that I would love motherhood but I did not realise that I would find it so completely all-encompassing and fulfilling as it is. Not all women feel this way, though, and I think that it's something that a lot of women find that they don't know until they get there.

For me, going back in Jan/Feb is firm, though, and I won't put it off any longer than that due to various other issues (not financial ones, we are fortunate in that, but to do with my professional training pathway and my husband's), but I am going back 4 days a week rather than 5. I am avoiding putting bubby in childcare for as long as possible (ideally until around 18 months or so).

 

[Octavia]

First, congratulations on the offer! I have a number of thoughts, which may or may not flow together nicely, so bear with me.

1) Are you basing your financial calculations on the number they initially gave you, or have you negotiated? Don't leave money on the table if it's there to be had. And remember that you can negotiate for things other than salary i.e. reduced schedule for the first 6 months.

2) You're lucky if your current job would let you work from home without having outside childcare. This is very unusual, in my experience; my job's telework agreement specifies that we can't simultaneously work and provide care services (whether child, elder, etc). Also, many daycares won't take kids on an irregular schedule, so if you need it at all, you end up paying whether your kid is there or not. I have friends who were all about working from home until they realized it wouldn't actually save them a dime in childcare expenses. This also affects your situation if you have to pay for full days even if your hubby isn't dropping baby off until noon.

3) Could you realistically expect to get a comparable offer to this in the future? Even though the salary bump doesn't seem like a lot right now, keep in mind that it will affect the remaining 30+ years of your career, so the amortized difference is much, much bigger than $150/month. Even if you were to eventually take a different job, the salary potential would be greater if you're coming from a higher-earning job.

4) Along the same lines, retirement planning. Your choice now could potentially have a huge impact on your finances when you retire, both in terms of what percentage of your salary you save and whether you decrease or suspend contributions while working PT (and for how long). It's a long way off, but probably more important to think about right now than the college tuition thing.

5) Benefits. How do they compare? Would yours be reduced or cut off as a result of going part-time? Are you planning to put baby on your insurance or hubby's, if you have them separately? Disregard if you've already factored this in.

6) The schedule thing is hard. My husband also works a "second shift-type" schedule, including Saturday nights and sometimes other weekend times, and it can be difficult even without a baby. I don't have the option to work PT at my current job -- my agency fought for literally years to get the billet approved and would lose funding for it if it's filled less than FT. However, the other benefits of the job (both HR- and lifestyle-related) would be hard to match or beat at other jobs in my field. So I've basically come to the realization that we will have to suck it up if/when the time comes for kids. It's definitely not ideal, and I don't know what I'd do if we had different options, so I can't really weigh in on your situation. I just wanted to say that you're not alone when it comes to this issue, and I don't think there's really any great solution other than to do what you can to try to make things work.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[missrachelk]

thanks for weighing in so quickly pancake and octavia!

For some of your questions Octavia -

this being a university position (state-funded institution) compensation is strictly regulated. I did ask for more than the initial offer but already got a call today that it won't be possible to go above the posted salary. Also being a big institution things like telework have lots of protocols and you have to work a stnadard schedule first before applying for telework, and that has to go through a lot of approvals before it becomes official. There's not a ton else to negotiate since things are so defined.

The current and new jobs couldn't be more different as far as type of company. Current is a very small independently owned company, so my boss can basically do what she wants to keep me with the company. She is actually going to allow me to keep my benefits (although they are not great by any stretch) being part time by paying me much less per hour of work so that I'm 'working' the minimum hours to qualify for health benefits. We will be having the baby on my husband's insurance, the cost is basically the same as mine and benefits a bit better.

The health benefits at the new job are much better, and more affordable (well with dependents, oddly the employee only is more out of pocket, but the benefits are so much better than my current plan)

Now on the other hand my current job has very little in addition to the basic health benefits. It's a 365-day industry, holidays tend to be very busy and the company is family owned and very old fashioned. I currently only have 5 vacations days per year (until 5 years of service as far as I know).

I also have done zero research thus far and in my area, lots of good care facilities have year long (or longer) waiting lists - and this is for $300+ per week care.

Retirement and future earnings are great things to consider. I do feel like with being so busy it would be VERY easy for me to spend up all of the 'extra' money from the new job on things like gorceries, work clothes, etc, and not really come out ahead. The new job does have a retirement plan, where I have none now, but I'm just not sure that's worth it.

I also feel like the first year of the baby's life is also deserving of consideration. I know time is of the essence with savings but you can't go back to make them babies again, right?!

This is going to be tough.

I may find out if I could take the job later, like 6 months later. Or see if there would be a way to work out a job share and do the new job only part time.

All of this has come up for me tonight since DH has been at work so I'll come back with his view of the situation as well.

thanks again!

 

[pancake]

Octavia has raised a lot of very incisive and important points; being in a different country on a different continent, a lot of those points are beyond my full understanding but I think it is definitely crucial to consider all of the nitty gritty things.

In your post, Rachel, the following is the bit that got me the most and is the thing that led me to my eventual decision:

I also feel like the first year of the baby's life is also deserving of consideration. I know time is of the essence with savings but you can't go back to make them babies again, right?!

I just feel that, in the context of a 40 year career, an extra year or two or even five is not a big deal, even though it feels like it is now. Don't get me wrong - for quite a while I would lie in bed awake after the night feed with my mind racing with anxieties about career advancement, missing opportunities, getting left behind, etc, but someone wise told me that in life and decision-making, we have to choose the consequences that we can best live with, and for me, I can live with whatever career disadvantage that this 12 months causes. However, I don't think I could live with missing a large chunk of my daughter's first year.

That said, I do know that it is a luxury that I am able to think that way and that we can afford to live without my salary for that time. But if we're talking about choices (which implies that there is one, and that your finances will allow it), then that's how I arrived at mine

 

[fieryred33143]

It sounds to me like your mind is already made up and that you would prefer to stay in the current job.

 

[Sha]

Ditto to fiery. If you think that working full-time would leave you generally stretched for time and unhappy, I would probably decline. Being a mom is a lot of work. Having more time to dedicate to yourself and your family can be a really valuable thing.

 

[FrekeChild]

Ditto to fiery. If you think that working full-time would leave you generally stretched for time and unhappy, I would probably decline. Being a mom is a lot of work. Having more time to dedicate to yourself and your family can be a really valuable thing.

Ditto. Huge ditto. I was working part time for about 6 months after the baby was born (went back to work 2.5 weeks after she was born) and then towards the end, essentially full time. As of 3 weeks ago I am a SAHM, and I still can't find the time to tie my shoes some days!

Part time current gets my vote. That is very hard to find. I had that, and it was worth its weight in gold.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I worked either part-time or not at all until mine were around 2 or older, and I have no regrets. In the overall scheme of things, being a mother was the most important job for me and I was fortunate that my husband's income allowed me that flexibility. Part-time jobs are really wonderful, in my opinion, because it allows a little extra income and brain activity in something you hopefully like, but you aren't sacrificing all that time with your child in the process. And really, once you have the second child, you will appreciate the schedule because that is really when it is rarely worth it to have 2 children in day care. (Not to mention the difficulty of working fulltime and having enough time and energy for 2 children!)

 

[NovemberBride]

On the flip side of what DS posted, I have worked full-time in a demanding job since my DD was 12 weeks old. I am expecting my 2nd any day now and will go back full-time to this job after 12 weeks as well. I have no regrets at all, but I love my job and it's not the type of thing you can do part-time (I am a corporate attorney). There are part-time jobs available in my line of work, but I don't feel like they would challenge me and going part-time would essentially foreclose the possibility of my ever reaching my ultimate career goal to be a general counsel. Also, I work by choice, we could easily survive on DH's income alone.

I don't think any of us can answer this for you, because it is a very personal decision. How much do you value your career? In many, if not most careers, going part-time is considered a step back may affect your future advancement. One draw back I have heard repeatedly about part-time jobs is that you are paid for part-time but end up working closer to full-time. Of course, this varies across industries and companies.

I would take as much time as you can to think about your decision and talk it out with your DH as well. Although it is true that babies are only small for a very short time, to me that means that although I want to spend every minute I can with them while they are small, it also means they'll only be small for a few years, while I have been working in my profession for 10 years and will continue to work for another 30+ years so I don't want to sacrifice all my goals for a 40 year career over a 2 year period that may be difficult. Of course, I don't want to sacrifice time with my babies either, so what I do is sacrifice other things. For example, we eat out or get take out a lot, because when I get home from work I'd rather play with my DD than eat. Similarly, we hire out most things around our house (cleaning, home improvement, etc), because we'd rather spend nights and weekends doing family activities. We are lucky in that our salaries afford us the ability to do these things. I might make a different choice if this were not the case.

 

[iheartscience]

I have no children, so can't weigh in on that part, but I went from working at an independently-owned business with crappy benefits and no retirement to working at a university with great benefits and a great retirement plan, and I was surprised at how much the great benefits meant to me.

The insurance is very good and the cost is low, I get tons of time off, I get free tuition (this will extend to my spouse and future kids after I've been at my current university for 3 years), and they also have an on-campus daycare that is very highly regarded. (Most universities seem to have this and many students who are education majors work there.) Additionally, there are TONS of job opportunities here, and once you're an employee you almost always get preferential hiring.

I now contribute 10% of my income to retirement funds to make up for not having a 401k until I was in my late 20s, and I hope that will be enough to make up for it. I split my contributions between a 403b (university version of a 401k) and a Roth 403b, and my university matches my 403b contributions up to 5% and also pays a percentage of my income into a retirement fund itself. If your husband doesn't have a retirement plan you may really want to consider taking this job for your future security.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

My kids are older than yours, but I'm also wrestling with the same dilemma. I have been told by my work I can only do a 64 hour or less schedule or an 80 hour one. I am as advanced in my career as I care to go. I don't care much for my job, but am grateful to have it, and grateful that my office is considering allowing me to do PT. I have health insurance through my husband but going PT for at least the next 8 years will obviously have a negative impact on retirement and within-grade steps in my pay scale. Plus, if my office will lose my FTE and should I ever need to come back FT, I would have to compete for a new job or have been lucky enough to have an FTE still open. The other scary bit is that I work for the US federal govt and my agency only has 5 PT people currently. If we were to have a reduction in force, I would compete with only 5 other people for a slot.

Lots to think about.

 

[missrachelk]

Thank you all for the input.

These really are so personal of decisions and so dependent on everyone's individual circumstances, it's very hard for one's experiences to apply to another's situation.

I've decided to work part time. I'm going to see if the new job will consider part time, and if not, I will pass it up. It's just not enough money to make that kind of sacrifice for my family, and to give up what I've always wanted. My husband's schedule is a big extenuating circumstance that others might not have to consider, but that I do.

I have been in so much upheaval the last few days trying to get my head around it and for me, my 'career' is just a job, nothing more and not worth the sacrifice. If I were making a lot more money, or was in a real career-track type job things might be different. I also don't think that this is the only good job at this or another university (or good job in general) that I will ever have the possibility to be in.

It also doesn't make sense for me, to make the sacrifice and change my plan, when I know I want more children. Because when more kiddos come along in the next few years it will be highly unlikely that it will make sense for us to have more than 1 in paid care of any kind, unless I start making 2-3x as much as this job is offering (by some kind of miracle).

So thanks again, and my heart goes out to everyone, because these are hard decisions for us all.


PS -
Why can't the US have standard 1 year maternity leave ???!!!! That would make things so much different for a lot of us, I imagine.

 

[pancake]

Good for you for making a decision that feels right!

My thought processes are very similar to yours, but I think that it's important to remember that the process of adjusting to your career being a "job" does take time, even if you know it's what's right. I always felt that my career would be #1 until the second I had kids, and then I was sure that as soon as that happened, I would automatically stop worrying about my career and switch into motherhood mode (as that is what I have always wanted). What I have found the reality to be is that I know LOGICALLY that my career is just a job, but that after 6 years of university, and 8 years of internship/residency, long hours, exams, and striving for excellence, it takes a while for the mind to adjust to the new priorities. I think I'm almost there, but I had my baby 7 months ago!

I do feel for all the US-based mothers who don't get much maternity leave. Here in Australia the federal government subsidises 18 weeks' paid maternity leave (minimum wage, but it is something), many workplaces have their own paid schemes in addition to that, and 6-12 months leave in total is standard.