Will I EVER stop wanting things?

[Snowdrop13]

Ok, so I’m just sitting here on a Sunday morning, musing on life, as you do, reading the Ban Island thread. Like many people on here I’ve been collecting jewellery for years, probably 25 or more. I have a sizeable collection and am beginning to realise that I don’t have enough years left to wear it all! And yet I still crave and covet. I’ve bought 4 pieces this year so far and still “want” another thing (an automatic watch). I’d love more VCA, a bigger diamond, some nice sapphires, etc etc. When will it end? Or how best to manage my expectations?

 

[Ally T]

I always think I'm 'done' but it lasts about a year! I said when I first had my pear cut that it was the biggest & most beautiful thing I'd ever seen & I would never need anymore jewellery. Ha!

In the last 11 months I have got my new Tiffany ring, my gold DBTY & then the oval hinge bangle just on Friday, but now I am thinking about the pave bangle & how beautifully it would stack for special occasions & that perhaps I should have picked the bigger Tiffany diamond with the lower clarity because my 1.72 is already looking small........ I actually said that out loud whilst we were in Cyprus & everyone went silent. Mr T's jaw dropped & both the girls were like "mum, your diamond is pretty big & it's so sparkly! What are you ON about?!"

 

[Tartansparkles]

I was listening to a podcast last week where the presenter asked the question "how will this purchase make my life better?". I found that quite helpful. That doesn't mean there isn't more stuff that i want but it helps me think about what I will do with these things when I get them.

 

[dk168]

I shall always have a wish list, and the items being added increase in value and nicer/bigger as I grow older.

DK

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

No but it's ok! As long as you're not robbing anyone for the funds go for it!

I keep wanting bigger things! Not necessarily in value but in size!

 

[missy]

Yes definitely! It happened to me so it could happen to anyone. LOL
I always had big eyes. I always wanted everything pretty that I saw.
No more. I am satisfied. Yes occasionally I see something and I'm like whoa.
But then I realize it won't scratch an itch because my itch is satiated. Finally.
And yes occasionally I see something blingalicious and I buy it. But I don't have to have it and I get it just because I like it.
But I don't have any more strong desires for bling. I truly am content with my bling collection.
You will get there too. Probably. I mean if I did anyone can.


All I want now, truly, is good health for my loved ones and a happy life with many years left. That is my one main wish. I have no more wishing for things. But for good health and happiness for my loved ones and me.

 

[kenny]

Yes, you'll stop.
These folks found the way, finally.

 

[Mreader]

Yes definitely! It happened to me so it could happen to anyone. LOL
I always had big eyes. I always wanted everything pretty that I saw.
No more. I am satisfied. Yes occasionally I see something and I'm like whoa.
But then I realize it won't scratch an itch because my itch is satiated. Finally.
And yes occasionally I see something blingalicious and I buy it. But I don't have to have it and I get it just because I like it.
But I don't have any more strong desires for bling. I truly am content with my bling collection.
You will get there too. Probably. I mean if I did anyone can.


All I want now, truly, is good health for my loved ones and a happy life with many years left. That is my one main wish. I have no more wishing for things. But for good health and happiness for my loved ones and me.

Did anything specific change to get you to that point @missy ?

 

[Mreader]

I was listening to a podcast last week where the presenter asked the question "how will this purchase make my life better?". I found that quite helpful. That doesn't mean there isn't more stuff that i want but it helps me think about what I will do with these things when I get them.

Do you have a link? When I search the title I can’t it!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

My experience is that it’s been a process and it has taken a long time and a lot of money to get to a point of not wanting to buy things. Now I can look at something and appreciate that it’s pretty but not have to own it, it’s a rather big accomplishment to be honest.

There has been huge shifts in priorities in my life and now I have more financial commitments, so I can’t go spending money willy-nilly anymore.

 

[Tartansparkles]

Do you have a link? When I search the title I can’t it!

Here you go. Lots of interesting points being made about wealth but the one comment about the specific difference any particular purchase will make really made me think. https://www.samharris.org/podcasts/making-sense-episodes/287-why-wealth-matters

 

[marymm]

You may not ever stop wanting things, but it could end when you stop spending time on it and stop being okay with it.

What I mean is, if you (generic "you") are regularly searching / looking / reading about jewelry, you have assigned it attention and priority in your life and your mind.

Speaking generally, first you hunt, then you choose, then you consume ... that's an instinctive process. If you don't hunt, then you significantly reduce the likelihood of choosing and consuming (in this case, buying).

Yes, this is something I am trying myself. I have definitely noticed when I reduce the time I spend daily "looking" and "browsing," it strongly correlates to reduced choosing and buying. And, because I am focussing less time on the whole thing (and am using that time for other productive/enjoyable/nonconsumable things), I don't feel like I am missing out. In fact, I feel more balanced. YMMV

 

[diamondyes]

Here you go. Lots of interesting points being made about wealth but the one comment about the specific difference any particular purchase will make really made me think. https://www.samharris.org/podcasts/making-sense-episodes/287-why-wealth-matters

Oh interesting. I read Morgan Housel’s new book. It was not bad. Not my fave but I could see it being a great starting point if one had never read something like that before.

 

[MamaBee]

Nope..but I resist because I can’t wear what I have!

 

[diamondyes]

Anyways OP I like threads like this

 

[seaurchin]

I can definitely relate. On the one hand, I feel like I spend too much on jewelry and should focus on more practical, or at least less expensive, things instead. On the other hand, I want to make more money so I can justify getting even more jewelry. Imo there's nothing wrong with indulging and enjoying yourself, as long as it doesn't get crazy.

 

[Snowdrop13]

I always think I'm 'done' but it lasts about a year! I said when I first had my pear cut that it was the biggest & most beautiful thing I'd ever seen & I would never need anymore jewellery. Ha!

In the last 11 months I have got my new Tiffany ring, my gold DBTY & then the oval hinge bangle just on Friday, but now I am thinking about the pave bangle & how beautifully it would stack for special occasions & that perhaps I should have picked the bigger Tiffany diamond with the lower clarity because my 1.72 is already looking small........ I actually said that out loud whilst we were in Cyprus & everyone went silent. Mr T's jaw dropped & both the girls were like "mum, your diamond is pretty big & it's so sparkly! What are you ON about?!"

At least you get a year- I’m managing about 2 months at the moment! You are building a lovely, classic collection @Ally T, I love it. DSS is real though, does Tiffany have an upgrade programme?

 

[Ally T]

At least you get a year- I’m managing about 2 months at the moment! You are building a lovely, classic collection @Ally T, I love it. DSS is real though, does Tiffany have an upgrade programme?

They may very well might do, but Mr T definitely does not!!

 

[Snowdrop13]

I was listening to a podcast last week where the presenter asked the question "how will this purchase make my life better?". I found that quite helpful. That doesn't mean there isn't more stuff that i want but it helps me think about what I will do with these things when I get them.

Sounds like one that I need to listen to! Most of what I’ve bought recently is wearable but I seem to have drifted from my usual consideration of “cost per wear”. I can see retirement looming and I think it’s partly pressure to “get” everything before then……..

 

[Snowdrop13]

I shall always have a wish list, and the items being added increase in value and nicer/bigger as I grow older.

DK

This is part of it for me- get older, more disposable income, bigger items possible. But where to stop? No point in having this endless pile….. Clearing out my Ma in law’s home has really made me think about “stuff” in general.

 

[Snowdrop13]

No but it's ok! As long as you're not robbing anyone for the funds go for it!

I keep wanting bigger things! Not necessarily in value but in size!

No, no robbing happening! Except my kid’s inheritance, maybe!

 

[Snowdrop13]

Yes definitely! It happened to me so it could happen to anyone. LOL
I always had big eyes. I always wanted everything pretty that I saw.
No more. I am satisfied. Yes occasionally I see something and I'm like whoa.
But then I realize it won't scratch an itch because my itch is satiated. Finally.
And yes occasionally I see something blingalicious and I buy it. But I don't have to have it and I get it just because I like it.
But I don't have any more strong desires for bling. I truly am content with my bling collection.
You will get there too. Probably. I mean if I did anyone can.


All I want now, truly, is good health for my loved ones and a happy life with many years left. That is my one main wish. I have no more wishing for things. But for good health and happiness for my loved ones and me.

You are the Zen master, @missy! How did you get there, though? Was it the pandemic? Or just getting older? I think you and I are a similar age.

 

[Snowdrop13]

My experience is that it’s been a process and it has taken a long time and a lot of money to get to a point of not wanting to buy things. Now I can look at something and appreciate that it’s pretty but not have to own it, it’s a rather big accomplishment to be honest.

There has been huge shifts in priorities in my life and now I have more financial commitments, so I can’t go spending money willy-nilly anymore.

I can only hope that I will get there too! I have 2 kids at university so I really must focus on getting through that.

 

[Snowdrop13]

You may not ever stop wanting things, but it could end when you stop spending time on it and stop being okay with it.

What I mean is, if you (generic "you") are regularly searching / looking / reading about jewelry, you have assigned it attention and priority in your life and your mind.

Speaking generally, first you hunt, then you choose, then you consume ... that's an instinctive process. If you don't hunt, then you significantly reduce the likelihood of choosing and consuming (in this case, buying).

Yes, this is something I am trying myself. I have definitely noticed when I reduce the time I spend daily "looking" and "browsing," it strongly correlates to reduced choosing and buying. And, because I am focussing less time on the whole thing (and am using that time for other productive/enjoyable/nonconsumable things), I don't feel like I am missing out. In fact, I feel more balanced. YMMV

This is a very wise post. I spend a lot of time ”avoiding” reality, I mean, I go to work (very stressful at times) and keep my house clean etc, but I am online a lot, browsing, checking prices, disappearing down that rabbit hole. With my kids away now I really need to find another outlet for my energy.

 

[Snowdrop13]

Nope..but I resist because I can’t wear what I have!

You are stronger that me! I have lately bought several Stackers boxes with clear lids which has helped me to see what I have and what I wear most often. A few things have found their way to eBay, although it’s hard to get much money back!

 

[Snowdrop13]

I can definitely relate. On the one hand, I feel like I spend too much on jewelry and should focus on more practical, or at least less expensive, things instead. On the other hand, I want to make more money so I can justify getting even more jewelry. Imo there's nothing wrong with indulging and enjoying yourself, as long as it doesn't get crazy.

Agree! At my age, though, I also have a huge pile of clothes, many handbags and scarves, nice art and ceramics and don’t crave more of these. I can see myself buying one or two “grail” items (I’d love a piece of May Avenue Clarice Cliff, for example), but these types of things don’t come up for sale that often. I wonder why it is bling that causes such an itch??

 

[Bron357]

There’s nothing wrong wanting things.
I had “a list” from my mid teens of material items I wanted to have. A part of my liked the “wanting” because it gave me impetus to earn money / save to acquire those things. I felt proud of myself for my achievements. Later my wants got more sophisticated, it had to be challenging, not just “splash the cash”.
These days there’s nothing on the want list and no more desire for acquisition challenges.
These days I try and understand what it is I’m wanting and why. When younger I wanted the latest fashion to be fashionable, I went the gym to be fit and slim, I liked expensive things because to me they meant “work and success”. Fortunately those days are behind me.
Just so long as your desires arent masking other issues (why you need to understand WHY you want) like boredom, unhappiness, stress etc, then wanting and getting isn’t bad. It’s bad if you’re trying to fill or cover other things.

 

[Bron357]

Agree! At my age, though, I also have a huge pile of clothes, many handbags and scarves, nice art and ceramics and don’t crave more of these. I can see myself buying one or two “grail” items (I’d love a piece of May Avenue Clarice Cliff, for example), but these types of things don’t come up for sale that often. I wonder why it is bling that causes such an itch??

Another Clarice collector? In all the years I’ve been collecting I’ve never actually seen in person (or at auction) any May Avenue. What I did see was two pieces once from the Jazz collection. I went to the auction, the estimate on each piece was $2k / $3k. Ha. They went, each, closer to $20k. My favourite pattern is Gibraltar.

 

[missy]

Did anything specific change to get you to that point @missy ?

You are the Zen master, @missy! How did you get there, though? Was it the pandemic? Or just getting older? I think you and I are a similar age.

Hi @Mreader and @Snowdrop13, I think it was a combination of factors. I love my collection and feel satiated.
Completely satiated in terms of bling. I really want (and definitely do not need but when was that ever a factor for any of us lol) for nothing jewelry wise.

To answer your question @Snowdrop13, I suppose also reaching the age I am has put a perspective on things as well.

But truly, in my heart, I have always been a minimalist and the jewelry obsession (for lack of a better word) was an enjoyable hobby and I am happy admiring and enjoying what I have.
I never wore much jewelry at a time. At most two rings (ER and WB) and earrings with an occasional necklace or bracelet but for the most part I wear one or two things at max.

I don't even browse IG jewelry sites anymore. For the most part. It no longer draws me in.
I have many passions and interests and I still consider jewelry one of them. Occasionally I will check out a few of my favorite sites online but my interests have shifted.

I always say to my husband that the one precious resource we can never have enough of (IMO) is time. There are a limited number of hours in the day so we must choose our priorities. In my opinion, the most important choices we can ever make are how we use our time. And I am well aware of time speeding by but then again that is because I enjoy each moment of the day and am fully engaged in whatever I'm doing at the moment. Time is free but it is also priceless.

Every hour of the waking day is busy and I feel fully engaged in life and activities and am happy and content.
I suppose the jewelry hobby was a part of my daily enjoyable life for many years as is Pricescope still to this day. But my passions have shifted and while I still love jewelry and enjoy PS and PSers other activities have taken front and center and I enjoy them more than browsing, searching and yearning for more bling. I have enough and what I have is perfect for me.

At least for now. No one can predict the future so I take life one day at a time and go with my heart.

 

[diamondringlover]

I love sparkly things always have, but I find as I get older I don't want or need new things, since COVID hit I have quit wearing my rings, I sometimes will throw a ring on but it is rare, I wear a bracelet once in awhile but they are a pain to put on and take off so most times I don't even do that...the only staple that I seldom take off is my apple watch....so you might get to a point where you don't want or need new things, but that doesn't keep you from looking at them and thinking dang I would like to have that...I will also admit that I have a powerful motivator, lack of money, now that hubby is retired we are barley above poverty level (lower middle class), we didn't plan for retirement very well....so maybe if we had money I might feel different, not sure.