Will I EVER stop wanting things?

[MillieLou]

Oh how funny - I'm also in healthcare in the UK, hankering after a Rolex but tried (and failed) to persuade myself that a Tudor would do... Here is the one I'm registered for (OP34 in silver). I love the look of yours.

Anyway sorry for threadjack but just to let you know I'm going through the same internal struggle and trying to figure it all out. Weirdly I am satisfied with my jewellery and don't lust after any more - I've reached "satiety" there. I think my mind needs to chase after something beautiful to justify a hard and stressful job - it just isn't the same to think of investments and pensions... It keeps me working and enjoying my job, and the spend is still a fraction of my earnings. So I don't think it's a bad thing necessarily.

 

[Snowdrop13]

Oh how funny - I'm also in healthcare in the UK, hankering after a Rolex but tried (and failed) to persuade myself that a Tudor would do... Here is the one I'm registered for (OP34 in silver). I love the look of yours.

Anyway sorry for threadjack but just to let you know I'm going through the same internal struggle and trying to figure it all out. Weirdly I am satisfied with my jewellery and don't lust after any more - I've reached "satiety" there. I think my mind needs to chase after something beautiful to justify a hard and stressful job - it just isn't the same to think of investments and pensions... It keeps me working and enjoying my job, and the spend is still a fraction of my earnings. So I don't think it's a bad thing necessarily.

Lovely watch! Classic and stylish.

You have expressed this perfectly, I feel exactly the same. I’m sure I’m a fair bit older than you (retirement is looming….) which I think is partly why I’m being (even more) cautious than usual. It will work itself through, I know, and you’re right, it’s a good position to be in! Best wishes in whatever you do, the last couple of years have been tough in the NHS.

 

[missy]

My friend is in Ireland and said I would be in heaven here. And she is right. Oh, I want this so badly.
Pretty please.




Haha I might have stopped wanting bling but I still want furry babies!

 

[Snowdrop13]

My friend is in Ireland and said I would be in heaven here. And she is right. Oh, I want this so badly.
Pretty please.




Haha I might have stopped wanting bling but I still want furry babies!

Cute!

 

[GliderPoss]

I don't think you ever stop enjoying bling & for me that includes many facets like the thrill of hunting, planning & creating. I'm very conscious of the $ cost so rarely buy stuff - it makes each piece more special i think? I have other priorities (mortgage) so jewellery always comes last in a practical sense.

Probably best lesson learnt so far is to save up and just get the thing you really wanted instead of a bunch of "almost there" stuff - make sense? I recently finally purchased Canturi Cubism diamond earrings & pendant - love & wear it almost daily. Should have just got it years ago instead of all the "not quite it" pieces....

 

[Snowdrop13]

I don't think you ever stop enjoying bling & for me that includes many facets like the thrill of hunting, planning & creating. I'm very conscious of the $ cost so rarely buy stuff - it makes each piece more special i think? I have other priorities (mortgage) so jewellery always comes last in a practical sense.

Probably best lesson learnt so far is to save up and just get the thing you really wanted instead of a bunch of "almost there" stuff - make sense? I recently finally purchased Canturi Cubism diamond earrings & pendant - love & wear it almost daily. Should have just got it years ago instead of all the "not quite it" pieces....

This is going to be my approach from now on! I have pretty much everything I want, so I will likely be down to just one or two pieces more. The money will be spent on holidays and my kids after that.

 

[yssie]

My first answer to this was an easy, lighthearted, cavalier "no, of course not!".

But something made me pause for some self-reflection before hitting send on that... What's kept me collecting for over a decade? And what's kept me playing here on PS for more than a third of my life? The closest I can get to an answer is actually three separate threads - that I guess have combined into one happy-for-me outcome


I lurked for two years and change before joining the forum. During lurkdom I read anything and everything, ancient and current. I felt like I got to "know" members who no longer participated (and yeah, that sounds kind of creepy in hindsight). I learnt about the history of an industry that wasn't mine to share in but that excited, frustrated - captivated - me anyway. And occasionally I saw threads about inheritances, resizing pieces, reconstructing pieces, repurposing pieces, and those threads always made me feel... Honestly the best word is "envious". My family has no history of note and no heritage to pass down. The pieces that I'll inherit are few, mostly in questionable condition, largely not my style (although I try to be open-minded), and come with every conceivable string attached: I'd be haunted by the poltergeists of ancestors long gone for even thinking about re-anything-ing.

Nowadays when I see those same threads, though, I smile to myself because I know that I've broken the mold. The people who come after me willI inherit lots of beautiful jewels, and they'll have my full blessing to do whatever the heck they'd like with them!! Up to and including reselling, but I do selfishly hope most of them stay in the family. I have romantic visions of taking little girls to jewellery stores, and of someone someday starting a thread right here on PS (PS is always still around way into the future in these daydreams ) about resizing or reconstructing or repurposing a piece that came from me, rather than just looking on longingly...


Another reason I don't think I'll ever stop collecting is that jewellery and gemstones genuinely interest me. For me they aren't a mindless pasttime - they're topics that I put time and active effort into exploring. And those who know me know that I don't tend to do things by halves, for better and worse. I will turn a topic inside out and I'll happily chase minutiae until the cows come home. I'm this way about most things though: If I care then I'll throw myself at whatever it is - hobby, work, project - without restraint, if I don't care I don't give it a single thought. I've been told that I'm difficult to deal with, in that sense, and I can understand that. But at the same time I wonder what people who aren't similarly passionate about something live for? As long as there's something more to learn I'm going to stay interested, and as long as I'm interested I'm going to want to experience via ownership.


The third is the most difficult to write #OutLoud. But I can summarize it in three words: I lose friends. I'm an only child and my parents moved a ton when I was growing up. I've talked about this elsewhere on PS, but if I went to the same school for more than a year that was incredibly special. I've lived all over the world, in different countries and different cultures, and it might sound dreamy and exciting but for someone who's really pretty introverted it was so very lonely. I learnt to avoid thinking of anywhere I was as "home" because we'd be leaving soon and being "homesick" just sucked. And I also learnt to not get too attached to relationships, because friends come and go, friends are nice for right now but they don't last. Even after my parents settled down in the US and I went to the same highschool and then the same university year after year, once I wasn't seeing the people I called friends every day and we didn't have everyday life in common anymore I quit trying. I'm... Really not good about keeping in touch with people. And I've lost so many friends. I should probably care about that more than I do.

But PS is different!! I've met PSers in-person and I've gotten to know PSers whom I might never meet in-person... I've made real, honest connections with people I never shared an everyday with but who matter to me every bit as much as they would if they lived nearby. And I trust that these relationships actually will last, and that they're worth investing in, because there was never any facade of shared-daily-life context. The context that we share is a passion that each of us came by completely independently so we'll each always have that, whatever else life brings for us! My dearest friends, whom I met thanks to PS, know more about me than anyone besides maybe my husband. Some people talk about separating their real worlds and their online lives but mine are as intertwined as can be and I like it that way


So... Nope, never gonna stop collecting, never gonna stop caring

 

[monarch64]

My first answer to this was an easy, lighthearted, cavalier "no, of course not!".

But something made me pause for some self-reflection before hitting send on that... What's kept me collecting for over a decade? And what's kept me playing here on PS for more than a third of my life? The closest I can get to an answer is actually three separate threads - that I guess have combined into one happy-for-me outcome


I lurked for two years and change before joining the forum. During lurkdom I read anything and everything, ancient and current. I felt like I got to "know" members who no longer participated (and yeah, that sounds kind of creepy in hindsight). I learnt about the history of an industry that wasn't mine to share in but that excited, frustrated - captivated - me anyway. And occasionally I saw threads about inheritances, resizing pieces, reconstructing pieces, repurposing pieces, and those threads always made me feel... Honestly the best word is "envious". My family has no history of note and no heritage to pass down. The pieces that I'll inherit are few, mostly in questionable condition, largely not my style (although I try to be open-minded), and come with every conceivable string attached: I'd be haunted by the poltergeists of ancestors long gone for even thinking about re-anything-ing.

Nowadays when I see those same threads, though, I smile to myself because I know that I've broken the mold. The people who come after me willI inherit lots of beautiful jewels, and they'll have my full blessing to do whatever the heck they'd like with them!! Up to and including reselling, but I do selfishly hope most of them stay in the family. I have romantic visions of taking little girls to jewellery stores, and of someone someday starting a thread right here on PS (PS is always still around way into the future in these daydreams ) about resizing or reconstructing or repurposing a piece that came from me, rather than just looking on longingly...


Another reason I don't think I'll ever stop collecting is that jewellery and gemstones genuinely interest me. For me they aren't a mindless pasttime - they're topics that I put time and active effort into exploring. And those who know me know that I don't tend to do things by halves, for better and worse. I will turn a topic inside out and I'll happily chase minutiae until the cows come home. I'm this way about most things though: If I care then I'll throw myself at whatever it is - hobby, work, project - without restraint, if I don't care I don't give it a single thought. I've been told that I'm difficult to deal with, in that sense, and I can understand that. But at the same time I wonder what people who aren't similarly passionate about something live for? As long as there's something more to learn I'm going to stay interested, and as long as I'm interested I'm going to want to experience via ownership.


The third is the most difficult to write #OutLoud. But I can summarize it in three words: I lose friends. I'm an only child and my parents moved a ton when I was growing up. I've talked about this elsewhere on PS, but if I went to the same school for more than a year that was incredibly special. I've lived all over the world, in different countries and different cultures, and it might sound dreamy and exciting but for someone who's really pretty introverted it was so very lonely. I learnt to avoid thinking of anywhere I was as "home" because we'd be leaving soon and being "homesick" just sucked. And I also learnt to not get too attached to relationships, because friends come and go, friends are nice for right now but they don't last. Even after my parents settled down in the US and I went to the same highschool and then the same university year after year, once I wasn't seeing the people I called friends every day and we didn't have everyday life in common anymore I quit trying. I'm... Really not good about keeping in touch with people. And I've lost so many friends. I should probably care about that more than I do.

But PS is different!! I've met PSers in-person and I've gotten to know PSers whom I might never meet in-person... I've made real, honest connections with people I never shared an everyday with but who matter to me every bit as much as they would if they lived nearby. And I trust that these relationships actually will last, and that they're worth investing in, because there was never any facade of shared-daily-life context. The context that we share is a passion that each of us came by completely independently so we'll each always have that, whatever else life brings for us! My dearest friends, whom I met thanks to PS, know more about me than anyone besides maybe my husband. Some people talk about separating their real worlds and their online lives but mine are as intertwined as can be and I like it that way


So... Nope, never gonna stop collecting, never gonna stop caring

Well this made me cry. Not just tears in my eyes, but a little bit of quiet sobbing. Your words resonated with me on several levels and I thank you for yet another wonderfully-articulated post. I am also someone who, as a child, was transferred around several times from school to school. No particular reason; my mother just wanted to put us where she thought we were best off. Likely because she had little control in her marriage… I digress. I formed friendships easily but 2-3 years later I’d have to say goodbye and start over someplace else.

A constant in my life was my dad and his mother, and they both loved jewelry. My mother didn’t love jewelry and she and my paternal grandmother never got along. Like, at all, as in, they hated each other. My mother wrote my grandmother’s eulogy and it was very sweet but I remember listening to the pastor recite it and thinking it was a load of bull.

So jewels have always been something I come back to. I’ve been well-off. I’ve been very poor. I’ve been given beautiful things. I’ve had to sell some things that it hurt to part with. I’ve recently been able to procure some jewelry items that have been on my wish list for decades. Why did I want things in the first place? I was just conditioned to want them. That’s it. I think it’s very simple—we want what we are taught is of value:

So will you ever stop wanting things? No. Your tastes may change and your funds may fluctuate which will affect your spending, but you will probably never stop coveting beautiful things for the same reason as anyone else:

We all want to be seen and recognized as “important” and “deserving.”

 

[oncrutchesrightnow]

Theres also “think-you-want” wanting… when I was younger I thought bigger + more expensive = better. These days I go for subtle + wearable.

Also, I used to mainly want stones and preferred not to spend much money on the metal surrounding them. Now that I have stones, I think more about settings and am planning on resets.

So even if I still want jewelry, I want different things, not more, if that makes sense.

 

[Bravissimo]

I love this thread because it's a question I revisit from time to time, even though as I get older, I continue to understand myself and my motivations better than I ever did. I really love reading the responses and the insights that people post. Some of them are really thought provoking. I have enjoyed reading everyone's perspective on this topic. I recently found myself ready to jump back down the rabbit hole, and really got myself worked up over finally finding and acquiring "the one" ring, stone that would be the HG, but in a few weeks' time, I have let go of it. While I have enjoyed pricescope for many years, I often find that I have to take "breaks" because it simply exposes me to too many beautiful things. I will always be a person who appreciates and loves all sorts of lovely jewelry, but in reality, for me I have learned that although beautiful, they are only things. There have been many reasons that I have sought out items beyond just that they brought me joy, and most of those reasons I now understand were pretty unhealthy. Or at least trying to fill holes, or solve problems that they never could, or to distract me from things I didn't wish to experience or face. I think I am in the camp of @missy in just truly wanting health and happiness for those I love most of all. There will always be things that I think are lovely and I would enjoy owning, but I also feel like it's helpful to think of all the pieces I already own and don't really wear very often. I've actually been thinking it may be time to do a big clean out so someone else could enjoy things I rarely wear. It's so curious to me how we spend so much of our lives acquiring things and then get to a point where all you want to do is unclutter your life and live simply. Humans ‍

So my mother just passed away and she had some pieces that will supercharge my work wardrobe. I have a feeling she is in heaven wondering why she did not give them to me sooner. I hope people who have pieces they just don’t wear give them to their children now if it will help them instead of waiting.

 

[Bravissimo]

My friend is in Ireland and said I would be in heaven here. And she is right. Oh, I want this so badly.
Pretty please.




Haha I might have stopped wanting bling but I still want furry babies!

I recommend the Dingle peninsula in September. Stunning views. Decent weather. Gorgeous fuschia everywhere. There’s a place you can stop and watch the border collies and feed and pet all the critters. We just got back from Dingle, Clare, Aran Islands, Sligo, Ennis tour. It was postcard gorgeous but hot. I got no sleep because of loud people outside the hotels and needing to keep windows open (no AC-we sweated all night). If you have $$$, opt in on Ashford Castle. We did a college alumni tour and couldn’t do it, but it looks amazing. The place with the animals is on the way to the Blasley Islands. We had a lecture about the ring fort and the goats followed us and I pet the one with the horns through the entire lecture.

 

[missy]

So my mother just passed away and she had some pieces that will supercharge my work wardrobe. I have a feeling she is in heaven wondering why she did not give them to me sooner. I hope people who have pieces they just don’t wear give them to their children now if it will help them instead of waiting.

I’m so sorry for your loss. May she always remain close to you in your heart and may you wear her pieces with joyful memories.

I recommend the Dingle peninsula in September. Stunning views. Decent weather. Gorgeous fuschia everywhere. There’s a place you can stop and watch the border collies and feed and pet all the critters. We just got back from Dingle, Clare, Aran Islands, Sligo, Ennis tour. It was postcard gorgeous but hot. I got no sleep because of loud people outside the hotels and needing to keep windows open (no AC-we sweated all night). If you have $$$, opt in on Ashford Castle. We did a college alumni tour and couldn’t do it, but it looks amazing. The place with the animals is on the way to the Blasley Islands. We had a lecture about the ring fort and the goats followed us and I pet the one with the horns through the entire lecture.

Thank you. So beautiful