Why is it so hard to have a normal conversation with a pregnant woman?

[rockpaperscissors67]

I think I give off a vibe that keeps strangers from making comments. I''ve had very few people ask me anything! The one thing that cracks me up is when someone asks if this is my first and I say, "No, it''s number 6." I think some people think I''m pulling their leg.

The other week, SO''s younger sister, who hadn''t seen me in a while, basically yelled, "OMG, you''re huge!!" And I am. I''ve gained about 30 lbs. and it''s ALL belly. I wasn''t offended in the least bit because I''ve already accepted that this is probably going to be a big boy.

I feel blessed to have co-workers that have a lot of kids, too, because even though the majority are men, they''ve been through it all with their wives. The week before last, I had a discussion with one guy about my planned pumping routine when I return to work and have to travel to customer sites without the baby. It might be weird with other people, but these guys are like family. My boss'' wife is due at the same time as me so he and I always talk about what''s going on pregnancy wise.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I HATE it with a passion when my co-workers ask on a daily basis how I''m feeling. There''s one particular woman who always asks me, and then follows up with a "Are you sure? Really?" when I say I''m fine. And then sometimes, if I''m extra lucky, she''ll ask me later on that day, saying, "I know I already asked you..." Drives me up a wall.

I guess people are just excited for you. When we were waiting to hear if we had travel permission to fly to Korea to pick up our daughter, people asked me everyday if I''d heard anything yet. That was the worst for me- because I didn''t know, didn''t have a timeframe or an end in sight, unlike pregnancy which you know will end at about 9 months.

My sister thinks I''m being too sensitive about being asked how I feel every day...

 

[Bliss]

Date: 10/27/2009 4:57:43 PM
Author: Mara
Bliss it's not helpful!! People LOVE to tell you their horror birth tales. I don't know why, maybe in the interest of sharing and bonding?? But honestly I don't want to know how long you were in labor or that you couldn't feel your leg for 3 months after the epidural etc. It just stresses you out! If people start talking about it to me and I don't want to hear it I typically just say something like 'oh please don't tell me, I prefer to remain in DENIAL about childbirth'. If they don't shut up then I am like GOTTA GO! hehe.

MARA, I know!!! My poor colleague at work who was pregnant used to hide in my office when people did that to her. I would just look at her face and know exactly why she was there. It was like, "Yep. Who was it this time?" Even men would tell her horror stories about how their wives pooped during birth...etc. OMG OMG OMG! I think I'm just going to put my hands over my ears and go, "LALALALALALALALALA!" Or maybe I will tell the men impotence horror stories I heard in the weightlifting section of my gym. "I don't know... the guy said POOF! One day he just couldn't get it up anymore...ever...AGAIN!!!!"

ETA: and CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Send some baby dust our way!!!

 

[miraclesrule]

Ahahaha Bliss. ED is topic that clears a room!

Two of my co-workers are pregnant with their second child. Today one of them can up to me and I was sitting down. Her shirt had a pocket right on her belly like a sweat shirt type. Without even thinking I put my hand in and held it on her belly and then I thought of this thread. I said "OMG, don't you just hate it when people like me think it's okay to just randomly put their hand inside your shirt and feel your belly?"

RTA: She did start laughing and said that I wasn't random and it's totally natural when I do it. We all chuckled.

I hear you on the labor stories. I think I'm sort of guilty of that one, but I pushed my DD out in 20 minutes with nothing but a local so my story gives them hope.

 

[anchor31]

Haha, Miracles you are priceless!

I guess it was my day for weirdos yesterday. I was walking home from the doctor''s office and a guy (possibly in his 60s?) yelled at me from across the street why I didn''t have my mittens on. It wasn''t that cold... and I had them in my bag just in case. Then, five minutes later, another guy from across the street gestured to me like I had an enormous belly.

Yes, I''m big and 24lbs at 31 weeks is not easy to carry on my 5"1'', size 6 frame, but come on. I think MonkeyPie has it right, when people see a pregnant woman (or a baby!), their brain falls out.

 

[mtjoya]

Yeah, I agree that people can say & ask the most weird, awkward, and crazy things...I don''t like the comments but later learned to not take it so seriously. Someone told me that they knew I was having a girl because my face got chubbier. WTF? LOL...I laughed and then I was thinking about it and it disturbed me. But, now that I think back to it, it''s just the way people are.

I didn''t tell to many of my co-workers because I work with many jealous and gossipy girls. I only decided to tell who I wanted to tell. They should notice by now since I am really starting to show! I am 24 weeks now!

 

[Mara]

mtj... lol re: telling coworkers...there are some partners i work with who i don't see that often. i have such a hard time bringing up the preggo thing at work because how do you lead in? so here's the amendment for our agreement and btw i am pregnant! so i have tended to just not say anything and then people see me after like 3 months and go 'what is that!' hahaa. i have had some hilarious moments lately. my fave is when the guys don't really know what to say and they kind of motion a belly with their hands and go 'wow, you grew!'... i tell them it's cupcakes. it just makes me laugh.

 

[AdiS]

Date: 10/27/2009 4:18:49 PM
Author: anchor31

Date: 10/27/2009 12:18:19 PM
Author: AdiS
I''m not really sure which is worse-only talking about pregnancy with pregnant women or not mentioning it at all.

Last year I had no idea that my hair stylist was pregnant. She''s really tiny, and she never said anything about it so I didn''t know. It was a really busy period of my life so I skipped a few visits and when I finally got to see her-lo and behold-she was suddenly big! I mean, BIG! I was so worried that I might say something stupid to her (much like the examples mentioned in this thread

) that I just told her she looked great and that was that. When I left the saloon, she complained to the other ladies ''Can you believe she didn''t ask me anything about my pregnancy?'' Apparently that was rude of me. Sigh.

I guess it''s hard to find the right balance between having a conversation about the pregnancy and not being nosy/tactless, plus most pregnant women do get more emotional than usual and I''m affraid something I say might upset them. Does that answer the question or am I rambling again? lol

I''m guessing your hair stylist is a more extroverted person and enjoys being asked questions about her pregnancy, but I wouldn''t put her with the majority. I don''t think what you did was rude; in fact, I think it''s great that you told her she looked good and remained discreet. If she wanted to talk about it so much with you, she could have brought it up herself.

Thanks, anchor, that''s what I thought too. Being an introvert myself, I wouldn''t like it if people randomly asked me personal questions when I get pregnant one day. Apparently, not all future moms think so.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 10/30/2009 1:15:10 AM
Author: Mara
mtj... lol re: telling coworkers...there are some partners i work with who i don''t see that often. i have such a hard time bringing up the preggo thing at work because how do you lead in? so here''s the amendment for our agreement and btw i am pregnant! so i have tended to just not say anything and then people see me after like 3 months and go ''what is that!'' hahaa. i have had some hilarious moments lately. my fave is when the guys don''t really know what to say and they kind of motion a belly with their hands and go ''wow, you grew!''... i tell them it''s cupcakes. it just makes me laugh.

LOL!

My coworkers found out because we were doing a day of team building activities and one of them overheard. I was standing outside when I got the call to confirm the blood test results. I asked him not to say anything but then we went to our team dinner and the wine was overflowing. He kept nudging at me to tell everyone and slowly people started noticing and asking what was going on. That''s how I brought it up.

I scored the team a bottle of champagne. They were very proud.

And the even funnier part is that I was only 5 weeks then and by the time I had Sophia, they all felt like I had been pregnant forever since they had known at that point for 33 weeks lol

 

[Bliss]

That is so funny, miraclesrule! If I am ever so blessed to be pregnant, I hope I will have an amazing delivery like yours! You know, I just had a great idea.

If someone starts to tell me a crazy story when I'm pregnant, I will cut it short by saying, "A side effect of pregnancy is gas. You might want to leave the room. You're welcome."

 

[miraclesrule]

ahahaha, speaking of gas...short threadjack:

I was having some low/mid back pain last month and it is very unusual for me to have prolonged pain of any sort so I went and got an x-ray. I asked what the brown shading up my intestines represented and the x-ray techs just looked at me and said...that's um..waste.

My doctor came in and then told me that "that's gas and if your pain wasn't located on the other side, it might have been the cause, but we ask that you take your gas with you when you leave" Because I have known my doctor for soooooo long I said to him "Why? Can't I just fart in your office and see if that helps the pain" He said "Hey, we are in La Jolla, we don't fart in La Jolla, we pass gas" He's a funny guy.

So I told him "I passss the champagne bottle, I fart my gas"

 

[Skippy123]

Fiery, I just had to pop in here and tell you how adorable your dear daughter is; she is darling!!!

 

[NakedFinger]

Haha I read the title and thought this thread was going to be about the pregnant women causing the inability to hold a conversation.

(all pregnant women I know just talk about babies non-stop. That and all engaged women JUST talk about their weddings lol)

I dont get why being "PC" doesnt apply to pregnant women, and all social norms go out the window. Add "rubbing the belly" to the list of things I dont understand (I think I may have even started a thread before asking pregnant PS'ers whether it bothered them). You dont go up to random strangers and rub their stomach when they're not pregnant, so why is it ok to invade personal space just because a woman is pregnant? Its like the belly is a sign that says "leave social decency at the door" and people have the right to do/say whatever they want.

 

[mtjoya]

Date: 10/30/2009 1:15:10 AM
Author: Mara
mtj... lol re: telling coworkers...there are some partners i work with who i don''t see that often. i have such a hard time bringing up the preggo thing at work because how do you lead in? so here''s the amendment for our agreement and btw i am pregnant! so i have tended to just not say anything and then people see me after like 3 months and go ''what is that!'' hahaa. i have had some hilarious moments lately. my fave is when the guys don''t really know what to say and they kind of motion a belly with their hands and go ''wow, you grew!''... i tell them it''s cupcakes. it just makes me laugh.

Mara,

LOL...I have that problem since I work nights and by the time that I start my shift most of the day people are leaving. So, when they find out and ask me about it, I tell them that I didn''t know how to bring it up. Like, Good afternoon, blah blah...oh btw, I am 6 months pregnant! LOL...

People were thinking that I was just like 3 or 4 months because of the size of my belly. I am 5''8 and am barely starting to pop out..So, people then ask me "WHY, DID YOU NOT SAY ANYTHING BEFORE???" You are going to have the baby soon! It gets sorta annoying because I am a reserved person and don''t like to have the spotlight on my all the time. LOL...