Why do people say big rings are uncomfortable?

[Circe]

Prompted by an off-hand comment in another thread ... why do people say big rings are uncomfortable/impractical?

Look, I totally understand a lot of the objections raised against big rings re: social signifiers, fitting in with one's peer group, attracting negative attention (envious, criminal, or otherwise). But the bit about knocking them or finding them physically unwieldy ... that I don't get. But then, I had also never seen the issue with high heels or underwire (I kind of assumed these were gender-based jokes like the lady equivalent of men leaving toilet seats up and being incapable of asking for directions), until I realized I'd just gotten lucky enough to find good brands for my physique off-the-bat. So ... as a life-long cocktail-size ring wearer, I'm curious if I've just been lucky enough to grab the ergonomic-equivalents, or what. People who find bigger rings awkward to wear, why?

 

[elliemay]

For me, it's less an issue with size than with height. I prefer very low-set rings, regardless of the actual size of the stone. It's partially due to the possibility of damage -- I'm rough on my jewellery and would have a chipped girdle in no time. It's also an aesthetic thing for me -- I really dislike the look of tall rings (solitaires in particular) as they just seem too harsh or obvious or awkward when viewed in profile. I can't really explain what I mean -- tall rings just don't look right to me.

I'll take a 2 carat stone in a very low setting over a 5 carat stone in a very high setting any day.

 

[distracts]

I don't like rings that are sticky-uppy, like most solitaires. I DO bash them on things and get them caught in things. I don't care how big it is as long as it, like, tapers up, or whatever. Like if it has side stones, or cathedral parts, or is a dome ring. Part of it is also a mind-clean thing - I feel like stones in high settings are going to just fall out and get really paranoid. Also, like Elliemay, I just don't like the aesthetic. It feels less like a decoration and more like a barnacle.

What I don't get is why people DON'T think eternity rings are uncomfortable. I keep seeing people on here claim you don't close your fingers much, but my ring and middle fingers are almost always closed enough to make an eternity ring press into the next closest and be horridly uncomfortably. I mean, my fingers are pretty much closed when I am typing or mousing or using the keyboard trackpad or holding a book or writing or driving, and that right there pretty much sums up what I'm doing 90% of my waking hours. They are not tightly closed, but they are closed enough for any bulky ring to dig in and cause pain.

 

[motownmama]

How about someone shaking your hand (hard!) with a big-ole eternity ring an your right hand - ouch!

 

[kenny]

Maybe they are uncomfortable for some people, but are not for other people.

The problem is people make sweeping statement, implying that one way is true for everyone.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I find very large things on my hands impractical because I can't use my hands the way I want: putting them in my pockets, reaching into the laundry, grabbing at babies running towards the road. The larger ring catches or pull or gets tweaked around.

I also can't wear heels

 

[GreenBling]

They are only uncomfortable when they bling so much that they blind the eyes

 

[Rhea]

My engagement ring is very sticky-up and I can't put my hands into my pockets. It gets caught on things and kinda pulled along.

I don't think it's so much the size of the ring, but the height of the setting.

 

[Dreamer_D]

What I don't get is why people DON'T think eternity rings are uncomfortable. I keep seeing people on here claim you don't close your fingers much, but my ring and middle fingers are almost always closed enough to make an eternity ring press into the next closest and be horridly uncomfortably. I mean, my fingers are pretty much closed when I am typing or mousing or using the keyboard trackpad or holding a book or writing or driving, and that right there pretty much sums up what I'm doing 90% of my waking hours. They are not tightly closed, but they are closed enough for any bulky ring to dig in and cause pain.

Two things: Quality of the setting matters a lot because a well made shared rpong band does not poke or scratch at all. I have worn poorly made ones and they scratch like mad. My BGD rings have smooth and perfect prongs and don't scratch. As to bulk, you get used to it.

 

[stargurl78]

For me, it's the height of the ring. I have large rings that sit low and they are much more comfortable to wear than my e-ring, which sits too high. I am considering changing out the head on my ring but I just don't trust anyone local to do it and I'm not comfortable sending it in the mail...

 

[vinjewels]

During an attempt to set a diamond into a setting I loved, I found it was less about height (although I definitely need lower, like 6mm girdle to finger or less), but also taper. Rings with smaller bases that get bigger at the top, sit so poorly and teeter totter North to South on my bony fingers. The last straw was when I was pulling my hand out of a drawer and caught the ring on the top of the drawer and the widest part of the ring kept popping my knuckle.

I can wear a pretty big stone if it is pretty stable on my finger.

 

[Haven]

This is a great question. I never understood it either.

My eternity band isn't huge with 7-pointers, but I've never found it uncomfortable at all. It's actually very comfortable, even when shaking people's hands. I wonder if quality has something to do with it. The prongs in my eternity band never poke or grab at things. In fact, I think I could wear a MUCH larger eternity band quite comfortably.

I've never bashed my solitaire against anything, either. I wonder if some people are just naturally more careful or controlled with their limbs?

I wear super high heels and love them, too. Perhaps you're on to something, Circe . . .

 

[milton333]

I agree with the sentiment re: tall settings. My original e-ring was only a 1/2 carat, but set very high, and I had a very active lifestyle. It was constantly rocking back against my hand. I'd whack it so hard that it would actually gouge skin. I now have a small scar from where that ring would dig back and scratch at my finger. And I hated the feeling of it getting jammed when I'd put my hands in my pocket, being too uncomfortable to wear gloves with it, etc.

I also don't like any kind of pave or anything that goes down the sides of the band between my fingers. I don't like knife-edged bands, either. I think pave is scratchy, and even an eternity ring that might be smooth is just too much bulk. Frankly, even a properly-fitting plain wedding band can get on my nerves just be being something hard and rigid that my other fingers bump into, that gets pressed into my finger if DH and I hold hands, or that clacks against whatever I may be holding in my hand.

 

[Laila619]

I don't find them awkward to wear physically (I love tall settings), but I'll feel self-conscious if it's super big.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Haha....my only discomfort is social...I'd have no problem wearing a 3 ct. rock! The eternities I would not like are ones with 40 and 50 point stones. I think at that size, I would far rather have a 5 stone ring. I could maybe go for a 15-20 point eternity as a standalone ring. But I really prefer not to have diamonds on the palm side as I would be afraid that I would damage them when I grasp things.

Never wear high heels, ever. My feet unfortunately don't like anything but super comfortable (and not pretty) shoes!

 

[ame]

I would just go BLIND from louping constantly. lol Eternity bands or diamond encrusted settings are really what are more uncomfortable to me. I just don't like the poking between the fingers.

 

[lknvrb4]

For me, I do not want to feel like I have a ring on. I cannot stand feeling something between my fingers. I wonder how some people on here wear the huge eternity diamond rings.

 

[Snicklefritz]

Interesting question! As a big ring wearer, I've never had any problems with them getting in the way or detracting from activities of my daily life. Sure, if I'm going to the gym, I leave the bling at home, but not because I couldn't perform my normal workout routine there, I just don't want to bang it up too badly. And I agree with others who've mentioned stability issues. Only problems I've ever had is when the ring is a size or two too big.

I have tried on a few thick (pushing fingers apart) eternity rings (pave or prong set) and found them a little uncomfortable. But that's not to say, I couldn't still manage just fine with one of those sparklers on my finger. In fact, I'm sure I'd be doing cartwheels

 

[Fly Girl]

Where I live it is winter for 6 months out of the year, and you have to wear gloves outdoors or when driving to keep your hands warm and the skin unchapped. Any rings that I wear in the winter have to fit comfortably under my gloves, so there is a practical limit to how big my rings can be. I do wear my larger/higher rings during the summer months.

I find that big rings interfere with: changing diapers, playing with children, cleaning the house, gardening, camping, hunting, mowing the lawn, shaking hands, doing laundry, flying, and many more daily activities. When I'm sitting pretty at my computer all day, yeah, big rings are fine.

 

[Sky56]

I find that size of ring has less to do with comfort than quality and height. I find low-set, smooth-shanked, and no hollow areas except directly under the stones to be the most comfortable. Having the item feeling good while worn is just as important as the way it looks.

 

[distracts]

What I don't get is why people DON'T think eternity rings are uncomfortable. I keep seeing people on here claim you don't close your fingers much, but my ring and middle fingers are almost always closed enough to make an eternity ring press into the next closest and be horridly uncomfortably. I mean, my fingers are pretty much closed when I am typing or mousing or using the keyboard trackpad or holding a book or writing or driving, and that right there pretty much sums up what I'm doing 90% of my waking hours. They are not tightly closed, but they are closed enough for any bulky ring to dig in and cause pain.

Two things: Quality of the setting matters a lot because a well made shared rpong band does not poke or scratch at all. I have worn poorly made ones and they scratch like mad. My BGD rings have smooth and perfect prongs and don't scratch. As to bulk, you get used to it.

I am with Kenny on this one (people vary, etc). Even a 1.5 mm plain shank ring bugs the hell out of me with digging in on my other fingers. It's not about scratching or poking since completely plain comfort-fit bands drive me crazy. For me, the only bands that don't are wide (7mm+) flat bands. I wear rings almost every day, and aside from wide flat ones, I am NOT used to the bulk of ANY of them. I mean, obviously I can wear them, but when I start doing anything with my hands I have to take them off. I always carry a necklace so I can put them on the chain and put it around my neck so I won't lose them.

As for heels, I find them more comfortable than anything but the most insubstantial flats (like flimsy ballet flats, which I love). But I hate peep-toes because I've never found any that don't chew up my big toe when I walk in them.

 

[yssie]

Haha....my only discomfort is social...I'd have no problem wearing a 3 ct. rock! The eternities I would not like are ones with 40 and 50 point stones. I think at that size, I would far rather have a 5 stone ring. I could maybe go for a 15-20 point eternity as a standalone ring. But I really prefer not to have diamonds on the palm side as I would be afraid that I would damage them when I grasp things.

Never wear high heels, ever. My feet unfortunately don't like anything but super comfortable (and not pretty) shoes!

OT but you know DS, I used to think I didn't give a fig about what other people thought... but since we moved last year I'm realising that perhaps that was more a product of circumstance than how I actually feel. In CA *noone* gave my ring a second's thought, but out here it's the biggest, blingiest thing I've seen so far and it definitely does get second and third looks, and I'm not really comfortable with that. I used to wear it *everywhere* in CA, now I sometimes leave it home, and when I do wear it I usually keep it turned palmside...

I'm not following in your/Dreamer's footsteps and giving it up or downsizing though, I love it too much I *am* contemplating some coloured stones though

 

[distracts]

I'm not following in your/Dreamer's footsteps and giving it up or downsizing though, I love it too much I *am* contemplating some coloured stones though

Just an FYI that all of my colored stone rings get a lot of attention, even though all my non-erings ones have been inexpensive. My ering gets the most attention but the others aren't far behind (and all my others are pretty inexpensive, with less than 1.5 ct stones). And I live in a big city where big diamonds barely get a second glance unless they're HUGE. But people are used to seeing diamonds and NOT used to seeing colored stones, especially nice ones. I have actually had strangers grab my hand for a closer look at a ring without even saying anything to me (more than once, no less! who failed to teach them manners??). So I don't think it's a "less attention" option. It may be a different kind of attention though. I actually want a diamond solitaire RHR in part so I could wear it on my left hand when I want my jewelry to not draw attention.

Not that I am trying to dissuade you from the CS world - it is a happy shiny place full of colorful sparklies.

 

[yssie]

I'm not following in your/Dreamer's footsteps and giving it up or downsizing though, I love it too much I *am* contemplating some coloured stones though

Just an FYI that all of my colored stone rings get a lot of attention, even though all my non-erings ones have been inexpensive. My ering gets the most attention but the others aren't far behind (and all my others are pretty inexpensive, with less than 1.5 ct stones). And I live in a big city where big diamonds barely get a second glance unless they're HUGE. But people are used to seeing diamonds and NOT used to seeing colored stones, especially nice ones. I have actually had strangers grab my hand for a closer look at a ring without even saying anything to me (more than once, no less! who failed to teach them manners??). So I don't think it's a "less attention" option. It may be a different kind of attention though. I actually want a diamond solitaire RHR in part so I could wear it on my left hand when I want my jewelry to not draw attention.

Not that I am trying to dissuade you from the CS world - it is a happy shiny place full of colorful sparklies.

Ah, that was meant to just be an addendum, not a coloured-stones-get-less-attention comment, I phrased it badly. I'm seeing lots of sapphires though so if I go blue that may well be the case

I've been luring on CS for a bit... diamonds are my first love, I know, but goodness some of those coloured gems - you can't help but gawk

 

[Chloegal]

Peoples hands and fingers vary so much in shape and size. I never noticed so many differences in hands until now that I really started loving rings.

The closeness of the fingers to each other and the length of the bottom third of the finger (or webbing between fingers) seems to dictate whether large rings can fit easily or turn into torture devices.

For myself I have learnt (through loaning) that I cant wear multiple rings stacked because the ring part of all my fingers is too short to the first nuckle and I can never wear a huge etenity because my hand literally goes numb with the pain of my fingers not being able to close. Plus the side diamonds cut into the skin of the two fingers either side.

I`m not even going to go into the dissappointment of not being able to wear a middle or pointing finger ring because my knuckles are too big and fingers not slender ;-(