Why do brides bash their Husbands 10 years down the line?

[wellman]

Why is it that people become unhappy and start getting the attitude of what can you do for me. People "In Love" (theirs that phrase again) in the beginning are so focused on serving so yet why do they stop once they are married? I know this because people in my family have been married many times. I feel that marriage should be a one time thing and if you are not 5000% sure that that the person that you love and are devoted too will not feel the same way at any point down the road then maybe you need to reconsider.
I say Gaurd your heart until God brings a person into your life that will help you to be a better servant and not looking for the next slave that you can boss around.

Yet, I despise bashing of any kind. Fathers, Mothers, Children, or animals. I dislike them all. So, why do people hurt the ones they so called "Love" the most?
(Let all things you say and do be good and helpful)
I beg of you. Please be careful before you ask the question and most certainly before you answer.

 

[fire&ice]

Well, you have completely confused me on an early rainy Tuesday morning. What do you call bashing? Like any person, I can crab about someones quirks. They are endearing; but, at the same time, can drive one crazy.

BTW, I've been married 20 years to the *same* man. Neither of us ever feel we *need* to please each other.

 

[Nicrez]

Please note the general nature of women is to communicate and place themselves in the company of people who can understand their thoughts and ideas, and thereby feel associated and connected.

Wheras, men are fixers and doers, and tend to want to solve a problem with little to no help, out of need to triumph over challenge. They are lone animals in problems but pack animals in relaxtion. Women need emotional connection.

Men fix, women gripe, but all in all people love eachother. What's the big deal?

 

[sumi]

I don't think there is anyone in the whole world who can push my buttons like my husband can! Yet, I take that as a very good sign. To me, that shows me how close we are. Seriously, he knows me so well, he knows exactly what can annoy the heck out of me. (I can do the same to him too

).

We joke all the time that we can annoy each other like nobody else. Hey, if I didn't care about him, nothing he does would bother me. It's because we're so close that even if we fight, we both know that we're not going anywhere. I think that's a sign of confidence in the relationship. I know that we can fight, but we'll get over it. It's when you never stop fighting at all that you should worry. (too many fights aren't good either, but you all know what I mean)

At least for me, if I don't care about a person I am not going to waste the energy to fight with them.

 

[wellman]

So, I do come from a whole different world than any of you and yes perhaps I could use spell check. I may also have a problem with getting my point across. First of all! I would like to thank Nicrez. Your comments and logic have been very enlightening. You have ceased to correct my grammar as bad as it may be.
Perhaps my thoughts and Ideals are ones that are lost in this world.

 

[strmrdr]

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On 2/3/2004 7:05:57 AM wellman wrote:

So, why do people hurt the ones they so called 'Love' the most?
----------------

Because they are there.


Think about my answer before replying because if you dont you wont get it.


"I say Gaurd your heart until God brings a person into your life that will help you to be a better servant "

Amen!

 

[wellman]

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On 2/4/2004 12:18:23 AM strmrdr wrote:

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On 2/3/2004 7:05:57 AM wellman wrote:

So, why do people hurt the ones they so called 'Love' the most?
----------------

Because they are there.
----------------

I thought about your answer. It know arises a second question? If the people that we hold dear and are always there are the ones that are vented upon and have to take on our wrath. Then why are we not more careful and considerate of everything we say and do.
I have never known anyone who has ever associated "pain or hurt" with Love. So, once again how can we hurt and bring scars upon the ones we love the most. I understand I am stating this wrong but for good reason. For there is no way to state it correctly without writing a 12 page report. Therefore please try to understand what I am getting at.
(people think long and hard to come up with good comebacks and insults to defend themselves and make them look good. Yet, how often do people put thought into the possibility that what they say might hurt others.
Sincerely,
The Wellman

 

[pqcollectibles]

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On 2/3/2004 10:48:45 PM wellman wrote:

So, I do come from a whole different world than any of you and yes perhaps I could use spell check. I may also have a problem with getting my point across. First of all! I would like to thank Nicrez. Your comments and logic have been very enlightening. You have ceased to correct my grammar as bad as it may be.
Perhaps my thoughts and Ideals are ones that are lost in this world.----------------

I got your point. And, yes, Strm, you're right. I got that one too.

And, Sumi, I don't fight either when the person isn't worth it, and Hubby pushes my buttons like no one else can.

Wellman, when I was younger, in love, and for a long time after we married, life was as you described it should be. WONDERFUL! Little tiffs now and then but nothing major. That was BK. Before Kids. And the differences in upbringing came out big time in our parenting styles. Hubby's mother was a fuss budget, and my mother was a "No blood, no harm, no foul" type. I let the kids work it out and Hubby has to "fix" things.

So, Nicrez, you are also right as well.

23 years and counting with the same man. With only one set of ground rules before we got married. Infidelity would not be tolerated under any circumstance! Everything else we would work out. And we never go to bed without saying "I love you" to each other and meaning it! The kids haven't gone to bed since birth without being told we love them.

 

[strmrdr]

Wellman,

I agree it isn’t right nor good and should be guarded against.
But the truth of the matter it is often the reason.

Often the less said the better to reach understanding no 12 page report is necessary the answer to your second question is found within one not without.


again please think about it.