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Which would you pick ? Bigger rock or Wedding sooner ?

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Mrs.soontobealfonzo

Rough_Rock
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Nov 9, 2006
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89
My fiance asked me if I wanted a larger diamond, and then wait 2 years for the wedding. Or a smaller diamond and the wedding in a year. I choose the bigger rock. So now I have a 1.55 asscher E vs1

Its perfect, but now I have to wait till april 2009 to get married. What would you have done ?
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2006
Messages
24,426
For an ASSCHER??? I would have asked for a 5 ct. and said, we can just live together.


Jus kiddin, although that IS my dream ring.


I don''t think there''s a wrong or right answer here, it''s what each individual is comfortable with.



And congrats!! Can you post pics?
 

simplysplendid

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2006
Messages
1,772
ha ha.. it''s a personal choice..

If I am caught in this dilemma, I would have the wedding sooner and settle for a small diamond now. In two years time, I''ll ask for an upgrade for the anniversary so I can have the best of both worlds..
 

colorkitty

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 28, 2006
Messages
220
Small diamond, wedding now.

But I might be an oddball for PS. I don''t see how a 5 carat diamond is any better or any more enjoyable than a .5 carat one, and I think big diamonds look unfortunate. I think there are many reasons to put off a marriage, but to have a bigger rock just isn''t one of them, and I''d question having that as a priority over being married sooner (for me; everyone else needs to do what works for them).
 

Fashionvictim

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2006
Messages
223
What about a small wedding? I''m not a fan of big weddings and plan on having a small one. btw, can you post pics of your lovely ring?
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
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24,426
Date: 1/16/2007 9:47:06 AM
Author: colorkitty
Small diamond, wedding now.

But I might be an oddball for PS. I don''t see how a 5 carat diamond is any better or any more enjoyable than a .5 carat one, and I think big diamonds look unfortunate. I think there are many reasons to put off a marriage, but to have a bigger rock just isn''t one of them, and I''d question having that as a priority over being married sooner (for me; everyone else needs to do what works for them).
color, if you''re referring to my post, you may not realize how Asschers face up, which is a lot smaller than their ct. weight. A 5 ct. asscher would look about half that size, or less. That''s not that huge for a fancy. And, the bigger the asscher, the more you can appreciate their design.
 

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 30, 2006
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12,578
I think its definitely personal choice. If you are happy the way you are and don't mind waiting for your wedding thats perfectly fine.

I would have opted for the bigger diamond as I wouldn't mind waiting a couple more years for the wedding. But thats just my opinion.
I wouldn't have thought it was an indicator of where my relationship was at.

Maisie
 

firebirdgold

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
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2,216
While I voted bigger diamond over bigger wedding on the other thread... this time I'd have gone for smaller diamond and sooner wedding. I'm really looking forward to being Mrs. S. and I don't think I could have handled waiting for two years.

But it is a factor of age. I really wanted to marry him before I turned 35.
Also, while we haven't decided if we're having them or not, I'd rather be married for a few years before having children (or even deciding on it) and waiting longer for marriage would take that luxury of time away. (tick tock)

Also my diamond is under a carat and I'll never upgrade so I'm also an oddball on PS.

If I was 24 not 34 I'd probably vote bigger asscher though. I agree, they look better in over a carat sizes!




ETA: I'm also a fan of small weddings! The more I thought about it (and watched others go through it) the more I realized that I'm selfish and would rather spend my wedding enjoying myself and concentrating on the significance of marriage rather than worrying about if my guests are enjoying themselves. So we're running away to Hawaii with our immediate families!
 

grapegravity

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2003
Messages
486
I would choose the bigger diamond... because I like to plan my wedding THOROUGHLY... and I don''t mind not to be married until later.. (This is why me and my bf being togehter for 9 years and still not marry yet, I WANT a perfect, decent wedding, and he knows that and respect my decision)...

Like my friend said, wedding is only one day of your life, yet you wear the ring all the time!
 

Mrs.soontobealfonzo

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2006
Messages
89
well he kinda scammed me. He make the offer look so good. Now that I have this amazing rock (sorry i dont have any pics yet). People adore my ring and even ask to look at it double and triple times,but then after all that. they hear 2009 and they say wow thats so far way. It seems that way but it isnt really. im 25 and will be a bride at 27. I look at it like 2007 is the whole year of me being engaged and traveling with my fiance. We have 3 every large trips planned. By the time this year is over i''ll start my planning in the beginning of 2008.
 

Jas12

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2006
Messages
2,330
You already made your choice, so I think that must be what you really wanted. 2 yrs will go by quickly--use them to plan a great, budget-concious wedding. You''ll have plenty of time to obsess over the details and find the best deals ;-)


yum, a 1.55 asscher sounds lovely (pics please!), and i am not too sure how an even bigger one is "unfortunate"? hehe
 

winternight

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2006
Messages
887
I''m sure your ring is beautiful. Two years will go by quickly and who knows maybe he''ll move the date up some.

IMO there is nothing unfortunate about big diamonds - at least well cut ones. They really stand out.
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
Well. For us, I chose a smaller rock in a temp setting... and an earlier wedding. ONLY to have my wedding cancelled because of major problems with our venue... we lost deposits with our other vendors, and I was too depressed to plan another for almost 2 years. Then I planned another. Which we had to cancel mere months in because our families are crazy (fortunately didn''t loose deposits) ...then we planned to elope , but were talked out of it... started to plan another but then go a job offer in an other state that makes less money now, but gives me better opportunities down the road. Moving cost twice as much as had been budgeted and will be reimbursed fo, we had to leave most of our furniture behind, and we couldn''t find renters for our house (which we can''t sell yet). SO here we are ... wedding number three deferred for another year... engaged for almost 8 years... smaller rock than what I could have gotten if we''d just waited initially. Two wedding dresses, 2 pairs of wedding shoes, cake cutting set, wedding decorations, toasting flutes, bridal part gifts, etc. later.... and no wedding. We are still living together... and the one good thing I can say is... when we were first engaged... there was some doubt in my mind regarding the whole ''death do us part'' thing-- we were in a ''honeymoon'' stage of our relationship and I knew. Now, with all that''s happened, and all that we''ve worked to get through... I don''t have a doubt that he is my ''forever'' love. It just burns that his cousin is now going to be getting married before us... and she''s been engaged for a month.

So would I, in hindsight, have chosen the bigger rock in the ''perfect'' setting? Absolutely. Because right now... I have to make that choice again. Perfect settting, or sooner wedding. And yes, I am choosing the sooner wedding. Again. Maybe the fourth times a charm.
 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
1,747
I''d probably do small diamond, wedding sooner--it''s hard enough for me to wait and I''ve only got 10 months to go!
 

colorkitty

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 28, 2006
Messages
220
color, if you''re referring to my post, you may not realize how Asschers face up, which is a lot smaller than their ct. weight. A 5 ct. asscher would look about half that size, or less. That''s not that huge for a fancy. And, the bigger the asscher, the more you can appreciate their design.
I was being totally random when I used 5ct as an example. Sorry about the confusion. I do realize that asschers face up small for their weight. I mention that I don''t like the look of large diamonds just because it biases my answer to the OP''s question.

My husband is with all likelihood going to surprise me with a small asscher anniversary ring tomorrow. It kind of upsets me that some people might think there''s less to appreciate about it or that it''s nothing noticeable because it''s so small. But it''s all a matter of personal preference. I''ll wear mine with pride and I hope other women do the same regardless of size.
 

Jas12

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2006
Messages
2,330
heck-yes--wear it with pride! I would love a diamond of any size. Big, small, they are all good
 

RoseAngel04

Brilliant_Rock
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Jun 8, 2006
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865
Date: 1/16/2007 9:47:06 AM
Author: colorkitty

I think there are many reasons to put off a marriage, but to have a bigger rock just isn''t one of them, and I''d question having that as a priority over being married sooner (for me; everyone else needs to do what works for them).
I COMPLETELY agree colorkitty! For me it''s NOT about the ring/diamond...nor should it be, IMO.
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
9,488
2009 would be far too long for me to wait. Definitely smaller rock, wedding sooner. In my situation, the size or time of the two had nothing to do with each other, but if in that situation, wedding sooner! I want to marry my fiance and no rock size could stop me.

colorkitty, an asscher anniversary ring sounds (as strm would say) kicken, and I would LOVE to see pictures as soon as you can get to a camera! Don't let PS make you feel as though your ring won't be impressive, because PS doesn't represent the real world. PS is made up of a bunch of diamond lovers, many who have thousands upon thousands to drop on a piece of jewelry. That isn't the reality for 99.9% of people out there. I know you know this, but I just wanted to let you know that, as members of PS, many of us *love* smaller stones. No one questions if they're real, and they have a sweetness about them that the larger stones just don't.

For example, my aunt just got an anniversary ring from my uncle (they've been married almost 30 years) and it's probably a .25ct princess in a halo setting. It's beautiful, and it's so her. Our entire family was falling all over her (and it) not just because she's family, but because in the real world, it's stunning and much more than so many people have. My ring isn't at all big by PS standards but I have people commenting on it all the time, and I live in Los Angeles!
 

KristyDarling

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,858
It would depend on my age. If I were between, say, 22 and 28, I''d get the bigger diamond and wait to have the wedding. If I were older than that, I''d get the smaller diamond (preferably one with an upgrade policy) and have the wedding sooner.

In an ideal world, and regardless of age, I''d get a smaller diamond with an upgrade policy (probably Whiteflash), have a small wedding soon after, and then upgrade as soon as possible after the wedding!
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2006
Messages
24,426
Date: 1/16/2007 2:04:42 PM
Author: colorkitty



My husband is with all likelihood going to surprise me with a small asscher anniversary ring tomorrow. It kind of upsets me that some people might think there''s less to appreciate about it or that it''s nothing noticeable because it''s so small. But it''s all a matter of personal preference. I''ll wear mine with pride and I hope other women do the same regardless of size.
colorkitty, if I ran into you and noticed your ring (which I very well might not as I don''t "check out" other women), I can assure you two things would instantly run through my head.

1. she''s got great taste

2. lucky gal

 

divergrrl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2002
Messages
2,224
I wouldn''t be able to wait to marry my sweetie! But (with his blessing) I would buy a ring from a vendor with an awesome upgrade policy, and agree that for our 2nd anniversary we upgrade! (a setting like Mara''s or LynnB''s lends nicely to this).

DG
 

february2003bride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
3,545
Smaller e-ring for a sooner wedding. I''d even skip the e-ring to get married sooner! A wedding band it what''s important (but I would insist on an e-ring eventually
)
 

Officers girl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 16, 2007
Messages
218
I wouldve negotiated a way to have it both ways. Like instead of spending x amount on the cake or gown put it toward a larger ring. It might not have gotten you to 1.5 but it wouldve made a difference. But really it doesnt matter what we think you did what was best for you so congrats on your bauble :)
 

kcoursolle

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Messages
10,589
Well...since I wanted to elope in first place, thats what *I* woud have picked LOL. However, since having a 150 person wedding was extremely important to fi, I went along just because it was so important to him...so who knows... Even though it's a lot of planning and stress AND $$, I think I'll be really happy in the end that I had the wedding. Fi such a family man and very social, the wedding really is more for them than for us anyways.

I guess I would do whatever makes the two of you the happiest. Since your fi was cool with waiting until 2009, then horray for your BIG BLING
 

Larissa

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 20, 2006
Messages
276
Upgrading isn''t really an option for us so I would have picked the nicer ring and put off the wedding...I think. Maybe not, we were long distance from Atlanta to London so doing that for another 2 years would have been an issue.

Apparently, I can''t make my mind up about this and have no decision. Since I currently dislike my engagement ring (have always wanted a different shape, style, and size than what I have) I think I''ll go with nicer ring, wedding later.

I agree with others that the size of the ring shouldn''t matter, it''s all about being with your partner, etc. However, for me, marriage is just a piece of paper. We got married because of immigration and did not consider marriage necessary to live happily ever after.

So if we could have lived in the same country without getting married I''d agree with whoever said the 5 carat and no wedding...ever!!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
Not sure what I would pick to be honest. We''re buying our ring this summer but we will have a 2 year engagement also, as Ive gone back to college for another 5 years and so I want to get 3 years done before we get married. D is fine with that and we both agree that for us that''s the right thing to do. We''re spending a lot on our engagement ring, but if we wanted to get married in 2008 we could probably afford it. I think that everyone has to do what''s right for them. I personally would never want to upgrade my engagement ring, so if it was a choice of waiting another few months to get married if we got the ring of our choice then I would probably do that.
Im kind of thinking the same way as you. If I get engaged this summer, I can relax in engaged bliss for the remainder of the year, use 2008 to plan and get everything sorted and then get married summer 2009..
Really want to see photos of your ring!
 

rainbowtrout

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
2,105
We had to wait two years anyway, soo....


My idea was: ring=whatever he can afford and is willing to pay.

big diamond or emerald/ruby/sapph=buy MYSELF when I turn 30. I don''t have a diamond, but when I turn 30 if I can afford it I want a cool pendant or earrings but I think it would be cool to buy them for myself. Yes, I was totally sucked in by the RHR ad campaign!

I had thought about upgrading eventually (long time away) but I''m so attached to my ering I don''t think I could let that go. And I love the stone. What I might do it get the cast setting made over and made RIGHT by someone really talented in 10 or 15 years. Beacuse it''s a really fragile setting as is and I worry about it.
 

Jas12

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2006
Messages
2,330
I don''t think wanting a larger stone and waiting to get married means that your priorities are not straight. I often notice that some of my friends that have rushed into marriage were obsessed with the idea and really just wanted to say they were ''married'' (the 3 people i am thinking of are now divorced after less than 3 years of marriage). I have know for years and years that I would marry my fiance and we put off the wedding for many reasons: school, travel, a house and a large diamond. This was not because we value these things more than marriage, but rather we knew we didn''t need the paper all that badly. People think we are crazy for waiting 11 years--but for us it worked and since we have always been secure and madly in love, we waited till the right time to throw the type of wedding we wanted.

It all boils down to what works for the two of you....
 
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