When you're indecisive about something, how do you usually end up choosing?

[Kim N]

This can be about more serious things like for a job/house/relocation/partner, or more frivolous things like which piece of jewelry to buy.

Do you... put it up for a vote among your trusted people? Or on an online forum?
Use your gut instinct?
Write a pros and cons list?
Do eeny meeny miny moe?

If it's a choice between two purchases, especially for a smaller amount, do you sometimes just buy both out of indecisiveness?

 

[kenny]

I just think about it, and decide.
When something is truly hard to decide, I figure it must be 50 50 so I flip a coin.

That's how I roll.

 

[PinkAndBlueBling]

I don't ask for opinions. Experience has taught me not to, unfortunately. I tend to go with my gut. It's rarely let me down. If it's a purchase, I do a lot of comparing and go with my heart, unless it's something like a vacuum - that means I have to be practical.

 

[dk168]

For significant purchases, I usually have a list of needs and wants, and the item that ticks the most in the "needs" list wins.

This does not apply to jewellery purchases - just a "want" is enough.

DK

 

[missy]

In my head I do a list of pros and cons for each option and go with my head and gut both. They usually don't let me down.
I also ask myself how will I feel about this decision in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? And that helps.
And I do not settle. Settling always disappoints (me). A deal is only a deal if I am getting exactly what I want

 

[MissGotRocks]

I may ask for opinions just to make sure there is something I am not overlooking. I can change my mind back and forth a zillion times by talking myself in and out of something! In the end, though, I just try to use my best judgement based on prior experiences. Your gut feeling generally never lets you down!

 

[Avondale]

"Do you... put it up for a vote among your trusted people? Or on an online forum?" - Yes.
"Use your gut instinct?" - Yes.
"Write a pros and cons list?" - Yes.
"Do eeny meeny miny moe?" - Believe it or not, yes.

Why not use every means available to make a decision? I'll take them all, thank you.

Gathering opinions from others can help you see things you wouldn't have otherwise noticed or considered on your own.

Your gut feeling often results from things you haven't fully realised yet, while a more analytical approach of pros and cons can help weed out unfounded feelings and anxieties. These two work together and complement each other.

And the eeny meeny miny moe takes the shape of a coin flip. A while back I either read it or saw it somewhere, I've forgotten now, that a very simple way of making a decision is by flipping a coin. If after the coin flip you're happy with the result - go for it. If you suddenly feel the urge to do a 2 out of 3, you obviously prefer the other option. So you see, the trick isn't in letting chance decide. It's in allowing yourself to recognise your own feelings on the matter.

One more approach that I use, that I find very helpful when making a decision, is to imagine what life would be in either scenario. This one's quite helpful with big life decisions. Takes a bit of time spent within your own head, but more often than not makes things crystal clear. By the end of the exercise I've usually established which option makes me feel anxious and unhappy, and which makes me relaxed and content.

 

[Begonia]

All of the above and then sleep on it

 

[MissGotRocks]

All of the above and then sleep on it

Sleep on it is a very important step IMO - things can be much clearer after a period of no thinking and rest!

 

[RMOO]

If it is a decision that can be mulled over and not rushed, I step back and give myself time to ponder back and forth. Also, I try to imaging the future depending on each decision choice. And yes, I talk to as many people as I can to get their opinion. And don't forget research, research, research, sometimes ad nauseum.

 

[Begonia]

Sleep on it is a very important step IMO - things can be much clearer after a period of no thinking and rest!

100%

 

[Karl_K]

For spending money, if I can't decide then I don't need it.
Saves me a lot of money by making the default buying nothing.

If its something I have to buy then research until I hit on the most reasonable option.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I didn’t see “obsessively research online until my eyes bleed” as an option? Seems an oversight given the audience here.

 

[marymm]

I'm like @Dreamer_D for important (significant and/or expensive) decisions, I do a lot of research. Did I say I do a lot of research? Yeah, I do extensive research. Usually that is enough to reveal the best decision for me.

I generally also will ask my husband his opinion because even though he doesn't do the research like I do, he has a broad knowledge of many subjects and his input almost always makes me go back to my research to see where my options stand in light of whatever his comments are.

For frivolous (inexpensive) decisions, if I can't make up my mind, then like @Karl_K I just don't make a purchase.

This year and moving forward, I'm also focusing on prioritizing need-based purchases, and limiting/abstaining from want-based purchases -- except for special occasions like holidays/celebrations, trips, gifts for others.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I'm like @Dreamer_D for important (significant and/or expensive) decisions, I do a lot of research. Did I say I do a lot of research? Yeah, I do extensive research. Usually that is enough to reveal the best decision for me.

I generally also will ask my husband his opinion because even though he doesn't do the research like I do, he has a broad knowledge of many subjects and his input almost always makes me go back to my research to see where my options stand in light of whatever his comments are.

For frivolous (inexpensive) decisions, if I can't make up my mind, then like @Karl_K I just don't make a purchase.

This year and moving forward, I'm also focusing on prioritizing need-based purchases, and limiting/abstaining from want-based purchases -- except for special occasions like holidays/celebrations, trips, gifts for others.

I totally get asking your husband! I find that mine can cut through all of the emotion that also goes into the buying, and offer a common sense answer. I will say though that he now adds the ‘how much longer are we going to live?’ caveat to some discussions - lol! Puts some of the emotion back into the equation but I understand his point. If it is something that you really want and can afford, does it make sense to deny yourself? Adds another wrinkle to a decision or an easy out - depending on how you want to evaluate the comment!

 

[Lookinagain]

For spending money, if I can't decide then I don't need it.
Saves me a lot of money by making the default buying nothing.

If its something I have to buy then research until I hit on the most reasonable option.

I'm pretty much the same way.

 

[canuk-gal]

100%

x a billion . If I can't make up my mind, I leave it. Regret, like guilt, is a useless emotion: so I like to be fully invested.

 

[Piper70]

In my head I do a list of pros and cons for each option and go with my head and gut both. They usually don't let me down.
I also ask myself how will I feel about this decision in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? And that helps.
And I do not settle. Settling always disappoints (me). A deal is only a deal if I am getting exactly what I want

I wait. I let it simmer because I have realized that the right answer will reveal itself. I am quite frugal and too many times I have bought what I can afford rather than waiting and like Missy said, I am always disappointed. But if it is the right choice, I pull the trigger immediately. IYKYK. I don’t tend to put things to a vote with very few exceptions. My husband is no help either. Anything I say I want to buy, he would be all in ( mostly because he knows I do my due diligence ).
Edited to add, the thing that has helped me the most with buying things is to remind myself that almost never is it the only one. So unless it is something so special, and so unique that I will not find another, I’ll wait to make sure I am satisfied.

 

[Kim N]

These are fantastic responses! I'm finding myself nodding in agreement to everyone.

 

[Kim N]

"Do you... put it up for a vote among your trusted people? Or on an online forum?" - Yes.
"Use your gut instinct?" - Yes.
"Write a pros and cons list?" - Yes.
"Do eeny meeny miny moe?" - Believe it or not, yes.

Why not use every means available to make a decision? I'll take them all, thank you.

Gathering opinions from others can help you see things you wouldn't have otherwise noticed or considered on your own.

Your gut feeling often results from things you haven't fully realised yet, while a more analytical approach of pros and cons can help weed out unfounded feelings and anxieties. These two work together and complement each other.

And the eeny meeny miny moe takes the shape of a coin flip. A while back I either read it or saw it somewhere, I've forgotten now, that a very simple way of making a decision is by flipping a coin. If after the coin flip you're happy with the result - go for it. If you suddenly feel the urge to do a 2 out of 3, you obviously prefer the other option. So you see, the trick isn't in letting chance decide. It's in allowing yourself to recognise your own feelings on the matter.

One more approach that I use, that I find very helpful when making a decision, is to imagine what life would be in either scenario. This one's quite helpful with big life decisions. Takes a bit of time spent within your own head, but more often than not makes things crystal clear. By the end of the exercise I've usually established which option makes me feel anxious and unhappy, and which makes me relaxed and content.

I'm going to take a page out of Sharon's book: + a billion.

I've done a variation of the coin flip you've described. I'll ask someone I trust for their vote, and if I feel that they voted for the "wrong" option, then I'll know I want the other option.

 

[kenny]

These are fantastic responses! I'm finding myself nodding in agreement to everyone.

Hey wait a minute.
That reminds me of something I read somewhere recently ...

When you're indecisive about something, how do you usually end up choosing?"​

LOL!

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

Such a good question. Very interesting how other people decide on what they buy. For important purchases I research it until my eyes bleed. When I offered on the house we own I did a ton of market research beforehand so I felt pretty confident. I research consumer reports, true buyer reviews before purchasing appliances and tools. Jewelry is more of what I like. I still do the research but have never been hung up on buying the best brand or top color gemstone.

If I want the devil's advocate point of view I will ask my mother.

 

[tyty333]

I do the coin flip...seems to bring out my real joy when the coin ends up how I want or my true disappointment when it ends up
the other way. I then go with how the coin flip made me feel (not necessarily what the coin said).

I agree with not asking for others' opinions...it just clouds my brain and makes me more indecisive. Plus, some people get offended
that you didnt go with their opinion! I dont want to have to deal with that!

 

[jaysonsmom]

I am never indecisive about any of my purchases. I usually think long and hard about my purchases and live with my decisions for the most part. I think I have exchanged 2 things in my life….both of which were over $1k in value. One was a purse and the other a necklace. Large appliances that are not easily returnable (like my kitchen exhaust hood) I just learn to live with.

 

[Slickk]

If it’s a piece of jewelry, apropos to this forum, I ask myself how I would feel if the piece sold before I made a decision (Libra here, so torture over decisions). If I know I would be sad, I make the purchase happen. If I secretly (or openly) wish for someone else to buy it before I do, then I know that I don’t really want it.

 

[Tonks]

I research the daylights out of the thing in question. If it’s jewelry I try to learn everything I can about it, read other people’s opinions, and try to see things in person.

After research I usually talk it through with someone and somewhere in that process my decision becomes clear. I usually take a while to do this and by the time I’ve decided, I can feel good about the decision. My two threads on my new ER (Viv) are a good example.

I’ve tried pro/con lists but find them of limited use because you can always add something to either column.

Now, if it’s a pressed-for-time decision, I just wing it and go with my gut, and then agonize about it later. I strongly feel like this is *not* the way and am open to alternatives.

 

[Tonks]

If it’s a piece of jewelry, apropos to this forum, I ask myself how I would feel if the piece sold before I made a decision (Libra here, so torture over decisions). If I know I would be sad, I make the purchase happen. If I secretly (or openly) wish for someone else to buy it before I do, then I know that I don’t really want it.

Oooh I like that approach!

 

[tyty333]

I am never indecisive about any of my purchases. I usually think long and hard about my purchases and live with my decisions for the most part. I think I have exchanged 2 things in my life….both of which were over $1k in value. One was a purse and the other a necklace. Large appliances that are not easily returnable (like my kitchen exhaust hood) I just learn to live with.

I have a dishwasher I would like to return . Wish they had "Try Before you Buy" with appliances!

 

[tyty333]

If it’s a piece of jewelry, apropos to this forum, I ask myself how I would feel if the piece sold before I made a decision (Libra here, so torture over decisions). If I know I would be sad, I make the purchase happen. If I secretly (or openly) wish for someone else to buy it before I do, then I know that I don’t really want it.

Another Libra here @Slickk ...I feel (and live with) your pain!

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

I tell my husband and son to pick for me and then I find myself having a strong view on what they’ve picked which lets me know what I truly want.