When pregnant with twins....

[NakedFinger]

How much weight should you gain?

I am overly concerned for my colleague. She is pregnant with twin girls, and I am over the moon for her. (She tried for a little less than a year, had a miscarriage, and then got pregnant shortly after, with twins naturally!). However, to say she is vain is an understatement. She is a beautiful person, 32 and always fairly small (id guess a size 4, and is 5'2''), so we all knew she would have a hard time with the weight gain, having never been heavy in her life.

I can respect still remaining healthy during pregnancy, and not using it as an excuse to gorge yourself , however i know it shouldnt be any of my business, but her diet is REALLY concerning me. The girl doesnt have breakfast, and eats lean cuisines for lunch, and barely anything for dinner. A lean cuisine in my opinion, isnt enough to feed a not pregnant person! lol I know the "eating for two" (or three!) thing is a fallacy, however I know extra calories is a necessity, and that tiny handful of food hardly seems appropriate. Sometimes, she wont even eat lunch (we work together, so I know she is skipping lunch). She claims she "isnt hungry" when we ask her about this, but I dont see how she couldnt be hungry. She is absolutely terrified about getting fat, and I think she is going overboard.

She is 6 months pregnant with twins, and she looks like she could be maybe 4-5 months pregnant with one baby. I just always assumed that with a twin pregnancy, a woman's belly gets double the size (as I have seen before. every picture of a woman with twins i've seen, the woman looks uncomfortably big). But with her, she is still wearing regular clothes! I worry that her babies arent getting the nourishment they need, and arent growing as much as they should. One of my good friends had toxemia with her pregnancy, and the doctors thought they baby was gaining weight, but it was actually all fluid, and the poor baby came out 2 1/2 pounds. It was very traumatic for everyone, so maybe I am oversensitive?

Am I overreacting? Is it possible that with twins a woman's belly could still remain small in appearance? Would you say something?

 

[swingirl]

I assume she's under doctor's care. You can't force her to eat especially if her vanity is more important that her babies. But the body is able to to do miracles and it will use whatever calories are available for the growing babies. Hopefully she is taking vitamins.

 

[NakedFinger]

I assume she's under doctor's care. You can't force her to eat especially if her vanity is more important that her babies. But the body is able to to do miracles and it will use whatever calories are available for the growing babies. Hopefully she is taking vitamins.

Yeah....her doctor is telling her she needs to gain more weight....that she admitted. But she thinks the amount of weight he is telling her is ridiculous. (umm....he knows better, he's a doctor! ugh).

I just know I am not the only one who is concerned, everyone in the office have expressed concern, but she brushes all of it off. Its infuriating. I know its not my business, and I cant help but feel like I should push harder. Its like people who express suicidal thoughts, or show eating disorders, or drug problems, and they ask the families if they noticed anything. I wouldnt want to feel like I ignored it and then god forbid something happened to those babies.

 

[fieryred33143]

Twins are usually categorized as a high risk pregnancy and will typically get more monitoring than singletons. If her OB is concerned for the babies, he will let her know. Having the OB say she needs to gain more isn't really a good indication of whether or not she should gain because it's subjective. I went to a practice with 7 OBs. My primary couldn't care less how much I gained as long as the baby was healthy. There was one I saw who only wanted me to gain 15lbs and really beat it into me that I was gaining too much. Subjective.

As far as the babes go, think of babies in utero like parasites. They latch on and take what they need no matter what. It's up to the mom to have a well balanced diet to make sure that she also gets her nutrients and vitamins (this is why some women get osteoporosis during pregnancy. They don't drink enough milk or supplement while baby sits happily taking calcium from bones).

I don't really know what you can do to get her to eat if she doesn't want to. But yes, twin mommies can carry small. I've seen it IRL w/ moms who took full advantage of eating for 3 :p

 

[Pandora II]

The babies will take what they need from her - the mother pays the price! You only need an extra 200-300 calories a day when you are pregnant anyway, nothing like what people think you do. The time you can really pack on the calories in when you are breast-feeding as that really take the weight off you.

A lot of the time weight gain in pregnancy isn't totally down to what you eat either. I had terrible morning sickness in the first trimester and lost weight, then I put on a HUGE amount - 75lbs which was over half my body weight - by the time D was born. However nearly all of it was water and I had terrible oedema. Some people also carry very small.

I would leave it up to her doctors.

 

[swingirl]

Where Does the Extra Weight Go During Pregnancy?

Baby——8 pounds
Placenta——2-3 pounds
Amniotic fluid——2-3 pounds
Breast tissue——2-3 pounds
Blood supply——4 pounds
Fat stores for delivery and breastfeeding——5-9 pounds
Uterus increase——2-5 pounds

Total——25 to 35 pounds

With twins they say you should gain 35-45 lbs.

But the medical community seems to change over the years. I remember when women were told to gain only 15-18 lbs.

 

[neatfreak]

I have twins, and if you are underweight to begin with you want to be gaining around 45-65 lbs, which it sounds like your friend may be. Average weight they recommend somewhere between 35-45. It really also depends on who is recommending, but that's roughly where they want twin mothers to be.

There is a higher statistical correlation between twin baby birthweights and maternal weight gain, especially in weeks 22-28 I think. So generally during those weeks my doc just told me to pack on as much as I could. That time frame is REALLY important for packing on the weight with twins, so she really needs to ramp up her calories now if she can.

She really needs to eat more, her babies are what is really important here. I gained almost 70 lbs with my twins and it was worth every pound! I lost it all by the time they were a little over a year, so it took awhile, but having two healthy, full-term babies was worth it.

There's a higher chance of the babies being born prematurely if they're undernourished too.

But realistically? I am not sure what YOU can do about it ya know? Her doctor should be telling her that she needs to eat more. And if she ain't listening to him/her, she ain't listening to you IMO.

As for carrying small, it depends on where her babies are in her body, whether she has a long torso, etc. but some people do carry smaller than others!

 

[Skippy123]

Here is a link from the American Pregnancy Association http://www.americanpregnancy.org/multiples/weightgain.html
It talks about weight gain in the various stages of pregnancy for twin mommas.
I hope your friend gains the weight she needs too; you are sweet to care.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I understand you are concerned but there is *nothing* you can do. Hopefully her doctor can convince her to do what is healthy for babies. Otherwise just pray for those babies.

 

[lliang_chi]

I'm a twin and one of my mom's "bragging rights" is that she only gained 20 lbs with twins. Dunno if this was 20 lbs post-preggo weight or during preggo. We were full term twins each 6+ lbs.

I agree with the other ladies here, it's up to the doctor.

 

[Loves Vintage]

I feel really sad for your friend, that she must really think this is the best choice to make, and of course, I feel even worse for the babies. If that is truly all she is eating, I imagine your friend must feel like she is starving all the time. Even though this is an issue for the doctor, I would still feel compelled to discuss the situation with her. Sounds like she will ignore you anyway, but I'd still have to try . . .

 

[Jennifer W]

I personally wouldn't be discussing this with her. She may not be hungry - she may have horrible morning sickness that hangs around all day and the sight, smell or even thought of food might make her ill. Take a look through some of the posts in the pregnancy and mommy threads to get a feel for how people take to well intentioned but unsolicited advice. It won't make any difference to what your colleague eats, but it could make a difference to your relationship with her.

If she's disregarding professional advice, nothing you say is likely to change that, I'm afraid. However much you're worried about the situation, I don't think there's anything you can do.

 

[TravelingGal]

Nice of you to be concerned, but none of your business.

My friend with the triplets could not stomach food for weeks. She worked previously in a doc's office so they sent someone to her house to set her up with an IV nearly every day for weeks and weeks. I think she struggled to even gain 40 some odd pounds. She's 5'2" and with three babies, she looked smaller than many people look with just one.

Well, she kept those triplets in there for THIRTY SIX weeks. Their weights were something like 4.4, 4.14 and 5.2. It was amazing, and I'm still impressed just thinking about it.

 

[slg47]

yeah I think everyone's body is different with pregnancy and some people may not gain as much weight. I'm sure the doc is advising her on what to do with regards to eating? I know my mom only gained 13 lbs during pregnancy and I was 6 lbs 14 oz of that

 

[Dreamer_D]

I personally wouldn't be discussing this with her. She may not be hungry - she may have horrible morning sickness that hangs around all day and the sight, smell or even thought of food might make her ill. Take a look through some of the posts in the pregnancy and mommy threads to get a feel for how people take to well intentioned but unsolicited advice. It won't make any difference to what your colleague eats, but it could make a difference to your relationship with her.

If she's disregarding professional advice, nothing you say is likely to change that, I'm afraid. However much you're worried about the situation, I don't think there's anything you can do.

Yup. Vent all you like here and to family but keep your yap shut.

 

[asscherisme]

Uhh, its not really your place to discuss her preganancy weight with her. If I had a work collegue discuss my weight and eating habits with me when I was pregnant, I would have been stunned and thought it was beyond intrusive and rude.

I appreciate your concern for her, its really sweet that you are looking out for her and her babies but I would not say a word.

 

[mtjoya]

I would post what I really think here but knowing someone will get "hurt" and someone will say something to make me look like a b*tch.

So, I will say that it sux and oh well and look the other way.

 

[cara]

This is one of those times when (1) its none of your business and (2) even if you were to say something it is unlikely to be at all effective.

Just because there is a valid health concern doesn't make it your business to say something. Think about someone who is morbidly obese - yes, that condition does present many valid health concerns, but it is still not your business to bring it up and say something like, "you should really lose weight, being obese is bad for your health!" Its just rude and intrusive.

Though many many people feel entitled to make comments to *pregnant* women as if the fact that said woman is now carrying a fetus around renders her incapable of making her own decisions and in need of opinions from coworkers, extended family, random people she runs into in daily life... this is an impulse you should avoid. No good will come from it.

However, if this woman brings up the topic or mentions that she is afraid of gaining weight, you can always make some innocuous positive comment about weight gain while pregnant, like, "It must be hard to watch your body change so much but you are growing twins! How wonderful." OK, I don't have the best set of spur-of-the-moment comments but maybe you can come up with some non-judgmental positive comments. "You look great" is always a good one, but maybe you can come up with your own twist.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I would post what I really think here but knowing someone will get "hurt" and someone will say something to make me look like a b*tch.

So, I will say that it sux and oh well and look the other way.

If you have something to say, just spill it. Don't allude to it and leave us all hanging

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

nunya. business.

 

[partgypsy]

I agree with what others are saying that if she's not listening to her doctor's advice, why would she listen to yours? Do'nt worry, the doctors will keep talking to her about it and give her options to gain more nutrition.

The other thing is that you may not know all of the story. Both of my pregnancies, especially the second, the doctor's emphasized I needed to gain higher than the average weight range, which to me seemed impossible. I had the typical morning sickness (actually evening sickness). The prenatal vitamins made me nauseous. Even when that subsided, I felt "full" quickly because there is something basically sitting on your stomach. But I kept eating, to the point I forced myself to finish whatever I brought to eat, and making smoothies and protein shakes when I couldn't eat real food. I felt like I was eating all the time but feeling bad because I was not making the "progress" I should. I also carried small so yes strangers would helpfully say you need to eat more...do you see where I'm going with this?

I managed to gain around 22-25 pounds each time. My first was 6 pounds, 11 ounces, the second 7 pounds, 1 ounce. Not huge, but not the 4, 5 pounds the doctors were predicting they would be. Babies are parasites; all those calories I was eating and wondering where they were going were going to the baby.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

If you want to insult, upset, antagonize and infuriate your colleague, and in addition come across as arrogant because you know better than she does, then by all means discuss her diet with her.

Offer her support, not judgement. You may not like her food choices, but somewhere along the line you have to accept them as you really have no idea what is going on inside her head and with her life.

Sharon

 

[Girlrocks]

I was told to gain 50 pounds with my twins (I"m 5'5" and a size 4) and I gained 48. But with my last pregnancy, I was so sick, I actually ended up losing 3 pounds by the end.