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When is enough, enough?

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cantwait4life

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 3, 2008
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My FF purchased the ring with me (as in I was there). The diamond is a .75, G, VS2, very good cut, very good polish, good symmetry. I don't have the rest of the info on hand (the ring is hidden somewhere).



Anyway, at the store it sparkled like crazy and the setting was perfect. When my FF said "that's the ring, let's box it up" I cried with joy and I could not take it off of my hand. I love, love it. The only thing is that I know how much pricescope advocates ideal cut stones and since it isn't, I'm having all of these second thoughts. But I love my ring immensely. When is enough, enough? When do you just let your heart love what you have?

And my other question...while everyone (most anyway) on PS are "experts" in diamonds and have a huge amount of knowledge, do you find the same from your friends/family? Do they understand the character that is your diamond or are they just adore your ring and feel happiness for you?

This board is so helpful but I also feel its slightly dangerous...you're always second guessing your own stone or looking for better even though no one else around me knows anything about diamonds other than carat size and that it means you're engaged (kind of ignorant bliss)

ETA: I purchased in a national chain in Atlanta BTW
 
Oh Honey,
You love it! Why should you second guess it?
Congratulations to you!!!
 
Hi Cantwait!
You know, there are those times when what is on paper really should not matter...this is one of those times. You said that you "love my ring immensely"...that is what matters, that you love it! Who cares what the paper says, listen to your eyes and your heart
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I am by no means and expert, I just really love bling! My family and friends could care less to hear about diamonds and the like, and they think that it is quite funny that I am as passionate as I am! I hear "you should get a job at a jewelry store" at least once a month, but I know how dangerous that would be!
 
DO NOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE HAPPY WITH YOUR RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
IMO, enough is enough when you are perfectly happy with your ring (as it sounds like you are).
DH bought my e-ring, a less than ideal diamond in a wonky setting, off of ebay. As we learned too late these are big NO-NOs. I fell al little out of love with it when I realized it wasn''t nearly as nice as I thought. All I had to remember was that my ring was bought and given with all his love and I was in love with it more than ever. DH keeps saying we''ll get me a better ring eventually, but I wouldn''t give this one up for the world (okay maybe the setting cuz it''s wonky, but NEVER the stone). I sometimes miss being blissfully unaware, then I look at my beautiful ACA studs and am excited that I found PS.
 
You love it and that is the MOST important thing. Enjoy the sparkly beauty on your finger.
 
My stone was purchased well before I found PS, and it has similar cut stats as yours. i''ve always loved it, although it''s not an "ideal" cut. Sure, if I had it to do over again, (and in an "ideal" world) I would''ve found PS first and done my research and possibly insisted on an ideal cut stone, but I didn''t and that''s life. As it is, I have always loved my ring and would not part with it. Unless, of course, DH suggested we find a bigger, better cut stone...hee hee.

Yours is gorgeous, enjoy what you have! There is no prerequisite here that says you have to have an ideal cut to be a member!
 
That you love it is indeed the most important thing, and the second part of your question...most people just won''t know. I was recently in a crowd of ladies admiring a co-worker''s new Ering in a lovely halo setting. People asked questions "oh, will the diamond fall out with all those little ones around it?" but mostly oooohed and aaaahed. She was just beaming, and I doubt that she noticed the huge black inclusions. I oooohed and aaaahed with everyone else and am %100 sure that I was one of two people who noticed that in a crowd of more than 12 women -whose faces I can read.
Rest assured that most people won''t notice a thing unless you are frowning over your ring.
 
You love your ring and that is all that matters. Even though PS is a wealth of info, very helpful, and fun, it can also dramatically skew your diamond world view. My stone was purchased pre-PS and doesn''t meet the ideals people typically want here, but it is gorgeous and I believe my own eyes!! People stop me and compliment my ring and how sparkly it is all the time. I was asked last week if it was an AGS 000! (Umm - no.) Having said that, I also know most people are not inspecting with the pseudo-gemologist''s eye that you develop after spending time here!! When I make future purchases, I will use the knowledge people here have very generously shared, but I love my current ring and can''t imagine changing it - ever! SO - to echo the other posters, please bask in the joy and love you have of your ring and your man!!
 
I have to agree with all the above posters...if you love it nothing else matters! Most of my friends/family wouldn''t be able to tell the difference between a G and an I, a VVS1 and a VS1, etc. (not sure I would either with my naked eye to tell you the truth!) so it really just matters if YOU are happy with it. Everyone here aims to assist buyers in finding the best value and quality but the best value and quality you will ever find is how you personally feel about the diamond and the meaning behind it. PS definitely skews my view on stones...my SO tells me to stop coming here because my expectations keep going up and up!
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I think enough is enough when you love what you have and it sounds like you do love it. That is all that counts in my book! Plus you have the added bonus of your FI loving it. Congratulations on finding "the one".
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Congrats! I am really happy that you like your ring/stone. Kudos to you for not "succombing" to the temptation of eternally upgrading or searching for that "perfect stone" that will only be perfect until the frenzy strikes again. All the best!!
Rob
 
DITTO everyone else! You love your ring, your FI loves you ring, end of story :)

I went through what you did, where after I found PS, I started to doubt my ring and even started seriously looking into upgrading my diamond. After a while, I realized that I ALREADY had something fabulous on my finger, and I stopped looking :) I''m saving up my upgrade for my 10th year anniversary (quite a bit aways).

I definitely think this board is dangerous for me, because I want everything I see in it!! But I''m using my "want" energy on things I don''t already have, such as a bracelet, necklace, etc :) Hehehe. Much more fun!
 
Can''t wait: I totally agree with everyone else on the topic. I came to PS because I am a researcher by trade and I need to feel like I am making an educated purchase to be satisfied. However, in my everyday conversations with my friends and peers, none of them ever know anything beyond how happy someone looks when they show their rings. You might get them to stick with the conversation through the description of size, but they have already dozed off when you start talking about color and clarity (and have walked off when you start talking girdle and table size). So, I have found that being happy with the purchase is always best to the ''commoners''. Heck, I doubt that any of my friends or family could even pick out a CZ from the real thing.
 
Don''t second guess yourself--take it from me, you will start to drive yourself crazy. Remember the initial feeling of adoration and move on.

Upgrading for a special anniversary is one thing, but replacing/modifying the same stone, over and over, is what I like to call "diamond dysmorphic" (not unlike certain people who have multiple nose or boob jobs).
 
Thank you everyone for the responses. I''m glad to hear that I wasn''t the only one second guessing. I think the more educated you become when it comes to diamond hunting, the higher your expectations go. I do love my ring (and more importantely my fiance) and that is what matters. Thanks =)
 
I believe PS provides great guidance but don''t let it be the end all be all, if you love the ring and you don''t really care about it being ideal cut or not then don''t worry about it anymore. Just enjoy your ring and be happy!
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I have to agree with katamari. When I''ve described to a few of my girlfriends how careful and picky I was about the five stones that make up my five stone band, they ALL stared at me like I had sprouted a third eye in the middle of my forehead and was speaking a foreign language. My best gal pal simply said "when I''m ready for my half carat, I''ll let you pick it. I can''t be bothered understanding all that stuff". No one I know in my private life knows anything about diamonds and when friends or family members heard I was studying diamonds, I got "oh, how cute".
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I think enough is enough when you personally believe it''s enough.
 
Let me add my 2 cents to this pile of great advice: If you love it, that''s all that matters, but if you will doubt yourself for a long, long time, and its possible to do with little work, it is possible to fix it. You can probably search and find some of my other posts, but I actually second guessed myself and went through the headache of replacing the stone before I give it to her. I happened to find this place very shortly after my original purchase and started second guessing myself immediately. I took it back and did replace the center stone and am now much happier. If its not a big deal to do, sometimes it is worth changing the stone, but my guess is that my circumstances were very unique and I am lucky to have a great local jeweler who helped me a ton. But this is a very personal decision and I personally wasn''t happy with mine, so I changed it. If you are personally happy with yours, then I am ecstatic for you! That''s wonderful! I just wanted to let you know that if you really, really, really want to change it, it can be done. Good luck, and again, congratulations on finding THE ring for you!
 
I too found pricescope too late. My FF had already purchased my setting and stone. Since my setting was special ordered, I couldn''t return it. I love my diamond and it is an Ideal stone, I''m just not happy about how much we paid for it (we bought the ring from a high-end jeweler). The store will always take the value of the diamond and put it towards an upgrade; I just hate thinking I''ll pay so much more for a bigger stone that I could find on the net. I always think that we could have gotten a bigger diamond for what we paid and it''s not even certed!! I have found similiar stones online for over a thousand dollars cheaper and they''re certed! I also love my HOF setting, but would have loved something custom made. I guess you live and learn. Could of, would of, should of. I just remember the look on my Fiances face when he saw the ring and he was so proud of it. If you love it, then it shouldn''t matter.
 
Date: 6/17/2008 12:48:52 PM
Author: ursulawrite
Don''t second guess yourself--take it from me, you will start to drive yourself crazy. Remember the initial feeling of adoration and move on.

Upgrading for a special anniversary is one thing, but replacing/modifying the same stone, over and over, is what I like to call ''diamond dysmorphic'' (not unlike certain people who have multiple nose or boob jobs).
Click to expand...

Ditto... I loved my stone at first sight... then started second guessing, to the point of almost sending it back.

Then Ellen posted this on one of my threads and it really helped me:

"love, I understand, really. Something we sometimes suggest to do when someone is in your position, is to ask them to imagine returning it, and then someone else buys it, and there''s no way you could get it back if you decided you did want it. How would you feel? "

 
i would say that if it was true love at first sight than you should enjoy it and never second guess it. sometimes i think if it''s real love than it''s more than just "enough." please also remember what it symbolizes to you and your FF and that means a lot, right?
 
I think I''m immune to PS syndrome
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I appreciate all the knowledge, but I use it to find the best value for ME. If I find a stone that is very good in cut and symmetry, eye clean, not noticeably yellow to the "average" viewer, and priced right, then it''s A-OK in my book. I recognize that there are quite a few PS''rs that are only looking for G or better, ideal cut, hearts and arrows, etc. but that criteria is more than I''m usually willing to spend. Faced with a choice of an ideal at $10K or a "near ideal" at $8K with larger size, I''ll take size every time. I suppose I feel that way because these are just little baubles I buy for myself, not "the symbol" of a perfect union meant to be worn forever.

Sometimes it may seem that people are buying paper instead of diamonds. Never be afraid to trust your own eyes.
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Date: 6/18/2008 8:05:43 AM
Author: purrfectpear
I think I''m immune to PS syndrome
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I appreciate all the knowledge, but I use it to find the best value for ME. If I find a stone that is very good in cut and symmetry, eye clean, not noticeably yellow to the ''average'' viewer, and priced right, then it''s A-OK in my book. I recognize that there are quite a few PS''rs that are only looking for G or better, ideal cut, hearts and arrows, etc. but that criteria is more than I''m usually willing to spend. Faced with a choice of an ideal at $10K or a ''near ideal'' at $8K with larger size, I''ll take size every time. I suppose I feel that way because these are just little baubles I buy for myself, not ''the symbol'' of a perfect union meant to be worn forever.

Sometimes it may seem that people are buying paper instead of diamonds. Never be afraid to trust your own eyes.
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Click to expand...

I know I''ve already posted, but I wanted to re-emphasize this point. The diamond I ended up settling on is not the most fantastic diamond ever on paper, but it looks soooo amazing IRL. Just trust your eyes.
 
PS is a wonderful forum for all of us to admire everyone''s gorgeous jewelry! And I firmly believe that all jewelry is gorgeous if it is given out of love and respect and friendship!

You were given a beautiful ring by a beautiful man. Is he perfect? Does he have a flaw or 2? I suspect he is absolutely perfect for you - in spite of or maybe bacause of - his flaws. The same is true of your ring. It is perfect for you as it was given out of love and a desire to spend the rest of your lives together. And you love it in spite of any imperfections it may or may not have.

I know this is how I feel about my husband and my ring. Are they perfect in the eyes of others? Probably not. Are they perfect for me? Oh YES!

I thank PS for being here. For advancing my knowledge about diamonds and their beauty. I will take this knowledge and use it in the future on purchases we make together. But I won''t use this knowledge to change the love I have for what I have...

Best wishes to you.

Julie
 
Date: 6/17/2008 2:27:16 PM
Author: gemgirl
I have to agree with katamari. When I''ve described to a few of my girlfriends how careful and picky I was about the five stones that make up my five stone band, they ALL stared at me like I had sprouted a third eye in the middle of my forehead and was speaking a foreign language. My best gal pal simply said ''when I''m ready for my half carat, I''ll let you pick it. I can''t be bothered understanding all that stuff''. No one I know in my private life knows anything about diamonds and when friends or family members heard I was studying diamonds, I got ''oh, how cute''.
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I think enough is enough when you personally believe it''s enough.
Click to expand...
Complete ditto! They laugh at me
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But they still think my ring is purdy...
 
I found PS before I got engaged, but I didn't realize just how close I was to that moment. I never had time to drop hints or share my newfound knowledge with him, and in a way PS kind of put a damper on the proposal because I had started to develop my diamond "palate." FI, recognizing that he knew nothing about diamonds, had gone to Tiffany because, as he said, "I wanted to make sure I got you something really nice, and it's the best jewelry store I know of." I don't know of anyone IRL who wouldn't be over the moon to get a Tiffany ring, but once the surprise wore off I kept thinking of what he could have gotten at WF or GOG...

Fortunately, I got over it pretty quickly. But in my case, my PS education was a bit too much at the time. Now, it's awesome to be able to converse about diamonds and other jewelry and feel like I know what I'm talking about (even if I'm no expert, I think I've become an educated consumer, which is the whole purpose of this site!). I know some friends wonder how I know so much about jewelry, especially since I rarely wear any except my e-ring. And I've definitely given some friends and family advice about cleaning and care that I'd never have known otherwise. But in general, we don't talk too much about jewelry -- that's why I come here!

6 months after the proposal, I can honestly say that I've grown to really love my ring, and my FI is completely justified in being proud of his choice. And I've gotten such wonderful customer service from my local T&Co that they'll be getting repeat business from me in the future when we buy wedding bands and when I get other baubles for myself. I'm still sure that we could have gotten a larger and more "perfect" diamond for the same money or paid less for a similar ring at one of the PS vendors, but I'm at peace with it. And while I highly doubt I'll ever upgrade, there's no way I'd ever let this ring go if I did.

Moral of my story? It's wonderful to be educated about pretty sparkly things, but in the end it's not just about the perfection of the cut, a few tenths of a carat in either direction, or even (in some cases) getting the most bling for your buck...it's about being happy with what you have. And if you're happy, none of the rest of it matters.
 
Honestly nothing will ever be enough. There will always be something we are unhappy with, we are human. I am very particular about color, I will not be happy with anything lower than an F. But its just VANITY! Diamonds are beautiful because they have natural flaws, not man created. I doubt an ideal cut would make that much of a difference. I have one that is Ideal and another that is Excellent and guess what, there is NO difference unless you are a real professional. Love your ring baby!
 
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