When did you know he was *The One*?

[Chewbacca]

You are all so eloquent with your answers! And these are so fun to read.

Could someone please climb into my brain and figure out how to write mine?

 

[audball]

You are all so eloquent with your answers! And these are so fun to read.

Could someone please climb into my brain and figure out how to write mine?

Haha, sorry! Gem did mine for me

 

[audball]

Yes it was horrible giving it all for someone who couldn't care less! I'm so happy you and I didn't let our exes discourage us and we were able to find love!

Indeed. I seriously couldn't ever be happier than I am with him. Ever.

 

[antiquesparkler]

So, a funny story that I've NEVER told ANYONE-

I met my FI through work, and on the day we met he was very flirty with me and so I playfully gave it right back. I meet a lot of guys through work (I work in a male-dominated field) and they're usually pretty flirty with me, so I really thought nothing of it. Generally it lasts the duration of whatever we're doing that day, then I never hear from or see them again. During our conversations and the flirting that morning, though, I thought to myself "Aww, how cute, this guy thinks he's going to get somewhere with me!" And then, a minute or so later, I thought "How weird would it be if we end up together and I look back on this conversation I'm having with myself in my head?"

Turns out that I DIDN'T hear from him or see him again until 6 months later, but after that the rest is history and we'll be married in just over 2 months!

It's just so weird because during these work exchanges with various guys, I'd NEVER had the thought cross my mind that maybe we'd end up together later. So maybe subconsciously I knew it right away?

This is so cute and I had something similar happen to me. SO was sort of known as one of the ‘bachelors’ around work meaning, everyone knew he didn’t have a gf and sort of lived the ‘bachelor lifestyle’- like picking up and going fishing all weekend or coming in to work on in his golf attire Saturdays because he just got done playing 8 bajillion holes of golf. Anyway...

One of our mutual co-workers, SO, and I were all talking one day and he looked at SO and I and was like, “You two should date!” I laughed and brushed it off and said something like “Hahaha- I have a 1 year old… I would scare T off…hahaha.” I thought to myself at that moment- Wouldn’t it be funny if we ended up dating?

Fast forward 2 years… We now laugh about it and we joke with that co-worker that he started it!

 

[fabulousfindk]

Chewbacca, it sounds like your answer is "I just knew." Nothin' wrong with that!
I love this thread! I could gush about my SO all day long. Granted, I could complain too, but the compliments flow much easier than the complaints

 

[audball]

I love reading everyone's stories.

 

[boysenberry]

I knew he had potential before we even met! We have a mutual friend and she would always talk about how great her guy friend was, so I was always curious and wanted to meet him. We finally met briefly but he lived across the country from me at the time, so we started chatting online. I had a crush on him (and thought he felt the same way, but would always second guess myself because our interactions were online etc) for almost a year before we were able to spend some time together. And just by how easy it was to spend time with him, I knew! It felt like we had been together for a long time even though we had just started dating - I told him I love him after only 6 weeks and to this day, I've never questioned that feeling

 

[advokait]

I knew DH was "the one" when I realized he truly loved ME. Not that we were "in love" not that "I loved him" and not that he just said it, but that I believed he meant it...that's when I knew we were never going to break up. There are a lot of things that he has done and said over the years to make me know this.

I have had so many exes that said they "loved" me, but their actions proved otherwise. They may have loved all the things I did for them or they loved the idea of a relationship with me, but they didn't love ME. They didn't even like being around me that much. In fact I think most of my exes were happy when I broke up with them. I have always been the girl who gave it all and got nothing and decided to end relationships. I don't believe that love is one-sided and every relationship I have ever had before now was one-sided. DH would be devastated if I broke up with him. We are better together than apart. That is why DH is "the one"

I LOVE this.

I was with an abusive guy for 2 years and I thought I was going to marry him-- all the sparks were there, he said all the right things, the connection was there, when we were good we were great, but I was in denial about how much of an ass he really was. When I finally came to about the whole thing I called his bluff on the typical breakup scenario (he'd break up with me for ABSOLUTELY no reason, blame it on me, refuse to talk about it, avoid me physically & emotionally, and one time even put his hands on me--which I am not proud to admit), so I went and got ALL of my belongings from his/our apartment and never spoke a word to him again. He was, also, my first love (met when I was 17, started dating at 1. It took a lot to get over the damage he had done to me mentally and on occasion something will tear off a little bit of the scar from that old wound again. Because of this I don't know if I'll ever let myself be in love again, but my boyfriend currently is wonderful. I literally would lay my life on the line for him and I know he would do the same for me. He is so genuine with everything that he says and is wickedly hilarious and witty. He told me that if he can put a smile on my face by the end of each day, no matter how bad it's been, he's done his job. He's wonderful with my dogs and my horse. We recently just moved in together, after dating for 8 months and some extraneous circumstances, it was a really great decision even though I had some apprehensions about it before hand.
I knew that he was the one even if I don't feel 'head over heels in love' with him all the time when he knows that I've had an awful day and just takes me in his arms and gives me the hugs that I won't admit that I need or want. He just reaffirms it every day with all the sweet, genuine gestures he makes. He literally is my best friend. I wouldn't pick anyone else to have my back in a fox hole with other than him.

Sorry for being so long winded and probably less than romantic about it!

 

[advokait]

I knew he had potential before we even met! We have a mutual friend and she would always talk about how great her guy friend was, so I was always curious and wanted to meet him. We finally met briefly but he lived across the country from me at the time, so we started chatting online. I had a crush on him (and thought he felt the same way, but would always second guess myself because our interactions were online etc) for almost a year before we were able to spend some time together. And just by how easy it was to spend time with him, I knew! It felt like we had been together for a long time even though we had just started dating - I told him I love him after only 6 weeks and to this day, I've never questioned that feeling

Also, LOVE this.

Comfort with someone is very important.

 

[antiquesparkler]

I knew DH was "the one" when I realized he truly loved ME. Not that we were "in love" not that "I loved him" and not that he just said it, but that I believed he meant it...that's when I knew we were never going to break up. There are a lot of things that he has done and said over the years to make me know this.

I have had so many exes that said they "loved" me, but their actions proved otherwise. They may have loved all the things I did for them or they loved the idea of a relationship with me, but they didn't love ME. They didn't even like being around me that much. In fact I think most of my exes were happy when I broke up with them. I have always been the girl who gave it all and got nothing and decided to end relationships. I don't believe that love is one-sided and every relationship I have ever had before now was one-sided. DH would be devastated if I broke up with him. We are better together than apart. That is why DH is "the one"

I LOVE this.

I was with an abusive guy for 2 years and I thought I was going to marry him-- all the sparks were there, he said all the right things, the connection was there, when we were good we were great, but I was in denial about how much of an a$$ he really was. When I finally came to about the whole thing I called his bluff on the typical breakup scenario (he'd break up with me for ABSOLUTELY no reason, blame it on me, refuse to talk about it, avoid me physically & emotionally, and one time even put his hands on me--which I am not proud to admit), so I went and got ALL of my belongings from his/our apartment and never spoke a word to him again. He was, also, my first love (met when I was 17, started dating at 1. It took a lot to get over the damage he had done to me mentally and on occasion something will tear off a little bit of the scar from that old wound again. Because of this I don't know if I'll ever let myself be in love again, but my boyfriend currently is wonderful. I literally would lay my life on the line for him and I know he would do the same for me. He is so genuine with everything that he says and is wickedly hilarious and witty. He told me that if he can put a smile on my face by the end of each day, no matter how bad it's been, he's done his job. He's wonderful with my dogs and my horse. We recently just moved in together, after dating for 8 months and some extraneous circumstances, it was a really great decision even though I had some apprehensions about it before hand.
I knew that he was the one even if I don't feel 'head over heels in love' with him all the time when he knows that I've had an awful day and just takes me in his arms and gives me the hugs that I won't admit that I need or want. He just reaffirms it every day with all the sweet, genuine gestures he makes. He literally is my best friend. I wouldn't pick anyone else to have my back in a fox hole with other than him.

Sorry for being so long winded and probably less than romantic about it!

I just wanted to tell you that this is adorable and so sweet. Sounds like you have found a great guy!

I was in a very crappy, emotionally abusive relationship similar to yours… the part about breaking it off for no reason… that sounds very familiar. It is so hard to leave and move-on but it sounds like you are doing well and your guy will help you so much! Mine has too.

 

[starrylight]

Because he gladly puts up with me and when I get great news, he's the one I want to tell. In past relationships, whenever someone would get mad at the then-current SO, I would have to listen to both sides of the story to know who was right. But currently, I almost automatically take his side because I know that he not only treats me well, but also others and it was important to me to be with a guy who would do right to almost everyone. My personal favorite is when he brags about me to other people.

He's not without his own flaws, but I know that all his positive points make the flaws pale in comparison. That wouldn't necessarily make the relationship great by itself, but we are also in tune with each other (for the most part) and he's not only the one I want to spend my life with but also the majority of days with.

 

[advokait]

I just wanted to tell you that this is adorable and so sweet. Sounds like you have found a great guy!

I was in a very crappy, emotionally abusive relationship similar to yours… the part about breaking it off for no reason… that sounds very familiar. It is so hard to leave and move-on but it sounds like you are doing well and your guy will help you so much! Mine has too.

Thank you! He's quite the sweetheart--so level headed and calm about everything--which is a nice compliment to me as I can be pretty fiery and dogmatic. I'm definitely very lucky, I really don't know what I'd do without him. These last few months have been extremely stressful for me (lawsuit with a landlord, grandmother whom I was really close to passing away, school, work, all other responsibilities on top of that, etc) and he's just been there for me, no questions asked, like we've been married for 20 years.

I'm glad that you have found someone that is a great fit for you as well!

 

[BereniceFrench]

Like madelise, I don't really believe in "the one". I feel like there could be several people right for each other but that life throws one at us and then it is part love and part a choice to stay with that person and built a life together. Not exactly super romantic but this is how I feel.

I don't think there was a defining moment that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with BF. I think it just kinda built every day. But we have been very close from the beginning and had to overcome some hardship really early in our relationship. I think that it made us stronger and closer together: I completely trust him and he is my best friend, I can tell him anything. I KNOW that he loves me which is very comforting!
On the choice part: we are very similar and are very good together. We want to same things in life, have the same tastes, etc ... Which I think is very important to have a relationship last.

 

[gem_anemone]

It makes me so sad to hear of all the ladies who found themselves in abusive relationships. Although I was with guys that were not for me I never had something like that happen. I'm proud you all managed to escape them!

 

[audball]

It makes me so sad to hear of all the ladies who found themselves in abusive relationships. Although I was with guys that were not for me I never had something like that happen. I'm proud you all managed to escape them!

Me too! I'm glad everyone is moved on and safe! My ex was verbally abusive/manipulative and took a toll on me for sure, but nothing as extreme as can/does happen to some people.