what''s your opinion ...is it better to keep the original E-ring?...

[Dancing Fire]

no matter how ugly or how small it is because it''s always special...or to trade up for a bigger size, and a better stone? or just get another ring for your anniversary and use this one to upgrade in the future?

 

[quaeritur]

You struck a nerve on that one...

I don't know. Sometimes I wish I didn't know what I now know about cut... unlike many, I don't care about size, but I do wish my e-ring sparkled more. It's not the worst cut, but it's not the best either. I just can't bring myself to alter it in any way though. It's been with me since I was 21, and is really special to me sentimentally. It holds great beauty in my eyes because of its significance, and the care my husband put into picking it out eleven years ago.

Still, we've talked about it. The wedding band is what remains most important to both of us to this day, so he has suggested that perhaps for an anniversary we get a new "e-ring" that would still match our custom bands -because that's the one I really don't ever want to change. The current e-ring would be kept an intact keepsake, and then the new one would be an upgradable stone. I'm getting used to that idea

.

 

[Mara]

Everyone is going to have a different answer and upgrading vs not has been discussed often before...it's a very personal issue.

 

[wonka27]

Maybe people have done this...I don't know.

My g/f's mother had a .50 ct ering. A few years back, she had that stone set in a pendant, and got a bigger, better looking diamond for her setting? The diamond is still with you in this scenario and can be worn all the time...just in a new place

Personally, if down the road my g/f wants a bigger diamond, I wouldn't care (if the money were there). But that's because I love looking at these things and would love the chance to do it again

 

[Diamondsbybree]

My first e-ring was UUUUUGLY~~~!

. He was clueless... I chose the next one, and then the next one, and then the next one....ect..

 

[Jennifer5973]

I still have my original ering and wedding band stones but had them reset into platinum. My original diamond was a decent quality but a shallow cut--a prime example of cutting for carat weight vs. optimal appearance. This was a sensitive issue for us. My husband had no problem getting an entirely new, upgraded ering, but he didn't want to "trade in" the original stone. We had no money back then and he worked very hard to buy that ring for me. At first I was frustrated with this situation, but I am very glad now I have the orignal stones in one ring, which I wear on my right hand.

It is a very personal issue and people will have a range of opinions. Some people also feel the wedding band is more sacred.

 

[fire&ice]

I think the problem arises when one partner thinks "not" and the other thinks "yep".

When I received the family ring 10 years into our marriage (long story), we debated what to do with the orginal. Trade in wasn't an option (and not needed). We worked w/ a Master Goldsmith whose early work from the 1950's-60's I collected to design a new "house" for my ring. Hubby found out he was still alive, still working, tracked him down & had him sketch some designs for me. All as a huge surprise to me. I feel like this was an extension of ourselves. That said, I panicked after the diamond was on it's way up to him. After a frantic phone call of DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH *MY* RING!, we came up with a great compromise. He switched the design around a bit to incorporate my orginal head. This was special to me as in my original setting we shifted the prongs to orientate N,S,E, & W.

Long story short - I was very sentimental about that orig. ring in the end.

 

[Mara]

Since we don't have the original e-ring stone any longer, it's a moot point. Now that he has no sentimental attachments at all to this stone, it's fair game!

 

[moremoremore]

I agree that each answer is going to be different. I am attached to my wedding band but not the the e-ring...which is long gone!...I have the same hubby tho

 

[coreyzat]

I would definitely follow my SO's opinion on this one. If he is like me, he spent a whole lot of time researching and purchasing the original ring. He has as much invested emotionally, and way more invested financially (in most cases). It would be an isult to me if my soon to be fiance (3 more days till I ask!!!!) wanted to replace something that I put so much of myself into.

Of course not every SO really cares, in which case I'd say do what you please. However, if you go off and spend a boatload of cash on a luxury item for yourself, I hope you have the decency to bite your tongue when he buys something similar, like a convertable or motorcycle.
Corey

 

[ame]

If I ever upgrade we will do the bands and settings first. When we are rich we might go up on stone.

 

[paigenyc]

When I got engaged the stone came from my husband's late mother so there is a lot of sentimental attachment to the stone for both of us. It's a decent cut but in a warm color and even though I prefer whiter stones, I still love it and wouldn't trade it for the world. As it's set in a solitaire setting we've discussed one day having it re-set with two sides as this way I can keep the original stone as the center. I can't imagine ever parting with it.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My stone is beautiful, but smaller than many. I don't care enough to give up my .42 and it's loose sentimental value in order to have a bigger stone. . .so I'd upgrade, but only if it meant keeping my current stone and setting it as a right hand ring (since I already have a pendant).

If my stone was ugly than I'd probably shell out the cash to purchase another stone of better cut in the current size I have, but wouldn't upgrade the size at the moment. I'm looking at an upgrade in the future, but not at this time since my stone sizzles especially in this sunny weather we've been having here in Seattle.

Right now, we're looking to upgrade the house. lol


Michelle

 

[Patty]

I traded in my original stone after 10 years. Actually, my original stone had a visible inclusion so we took it back after one day and I never cared for the stone they put in it instead. I was glad to see it go.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------
On 8/10/2004 11:57:06 AM Mara wrote:

Since we don't have the original e-ring stone any longer, it's a moot point. Now that he has no sentimental attachments at all to this stone, it's fair game!

----------------

Seriously? Maybe this will change over time. I don't think months after buying a diamond, one can have sentimental attachment. JMO, of course, but it takes years of marriage and surviving many ups and downs to make items like wedding sets sentimental. Greg may feel differently in 10 years from now

Hey, on a different note, you mentioned you got new diamond stud earrings of better cut. They're I quality, right? How do they compare in color when placed next to your other earrings (which were G color, if memory serves me right). I'm just curious as when I do upgrade my earrings, they'll probably be I color as well. Have you posted pictures of them in the martini settings?

Michelle

 

[ringbling17]

Very interesting thread.

Although I didn't get an engagement ring, I do have two diamonds that I bought a few years ago and have chosen to keep, rather than trade up. They are not the best cut, Brian at Whiteflash even offered to recut one of them into an ACA, but they represent me at that particular time in my life and they do have sentimental value for me.
I did get a larger diamond for my tenth anniversary last year, but I don't consider it an upgrade, just an anniversary present.
At this point, I don't plan to upgrade the diamond, but maybe have it reset in a setting with pave later down the road. I would rather get diamond studs instead or a nice sapphire ring.

Here is a post I found on another thread by Wink Jones, and I thought it was interesting and brought up some really good points

:


This has been an interesting thread to read.

As a jeweler I sell both large and small stones and often when I sell a large stone I find myself wondering if it is the right thing to do for this person. (Or much worse, knowing that it is not!) At other times I sell a large stone and know that the stone was absolutely right for this person.

Hmm. That doesn't come accross well. How to explain?

Sometimes the purchase is made with the idea that my stone must be bigger than so and so's. I'll show them that I am not a little person who can't afford a big stone. Of course these sentiments are never expressed in these words, but they are pretty much written accross every expression and action in the transaction. I take the money and deliver the stone, but take no real joy in the sale.

Sometimes the stone is sold to someone who is rewarding themselves or their spouse for many years of hard work and the eventual success that comes with it. The stone is bought with love and joy for the symbol that it is, either as a reward to self or as a reward to that special person for the gift of self that she has made over so many years. Quite honesly I don't think the size matters much in these cases, it is the love and honor that is being symbolized and treasured that is the important part of this purchase. Being a part of these purchases, both large and small are the real reason why I love this business.

I would encourage you all, with a diamond large or small, to remember and cherish the spirit in which it was given, taking joy in the love and honor that it symbolizes and the memories that it carries. Look at it often and think about what it symbolizes.

Each of you will have your own reasons for owning the stone that you do. Take pride and joy in your stone only for you and only for YOUR reasons. When you see another beautiful stone take joy in its beauty and think happy thoughts and wishes for its owner. You will find those thoughts reflecting back to you in many ways.

Both The Buddha and Jesus taught us that our thoughts have the power to hurt or heal us. These two great teachers separated by thousands of years and thousands of miles both tried to teach us the power of our minds and how our thoughts influence every thing that we are and shall become. I find it interesting how my little microcosmic part of the universe shows this so clearly in so many ways.

Please excuse me if this sounds preachy, that is not my intention. I wish that all of you could have only happiness in your hearts about your stones. I wish for you all to see only the happiness that their beauty brings to others and that your eyes be blinded to any sign of envy or jelousy that might creap into the hearts of the unenlightened and that your own hearts never carry any of those belittling thoughts that are so damaging to our very souls.

Respectfully submitted

Wink Jones

 

[Jennifer5973]

Kayla, thanks for posting your own thoughts & experiences, and Wink's very eloquent and insightful post on the topic.

It gives us a lot to think about.

 

[wonka27]

That was a very thoughtful commentary by Wink. I'm glad it was brought over to this thread because it does make excellent points on sentiment.

 

[hoorray]

Wink's post really gets to the heart of things. There are lots of people who do an don't upgrade and/or buy larger stones. At the end of the day, the reasons behind the purchase are what matter most.

I held onto my original stone for a long time (through several settings), and still wear it in a pendant. It's almost more sentimental in the pendant since I chose not to get rid of it, ever. I think if I had not changed the original setting early (since it had integrity problems -- he bought emotionally, without any research), the whole ring would be very sentimental. Since I changed it out early, it is sort of free game.

I understand what Mara is saying. A ring is important to me, but since it is not the original, it's the concept behind the ring that is important, not the specifics. Maybe that's why I applaud Jennifer's wedding ring collection! The meaning of the ring is important, but diversity is fun!

 

[Mara]

Michelle, well he knows that I don't intend to keep this stone any longer than a year before getting something larger. Now that he knows I have caught the detrimental diamond madness, he knows its only a matter of time before I am sporting that 3c that I crave.

Slow steps and lots of birthdays involved I am sure.

New car? No! New diamond! However, our wedding rings were chosen with forever in mind. I don't intend to change that one...maybe add a matching anniversary one in a few years or something fun.




Now if I had my original diamond and had not come across Pscope for 10 years, I may have felt differently yes...thick and thin and all that.




On the earrings, I adore the I color. They look very white to me and are super sparkly due to the great cut. Compared to the G's they really look just as good. I only see a tiny tinge of color when looked at from the side view against a white white paper and that's not realistic anyway. On my ears they just SHINE. I would not hesitate to go I SI again on earrings, and maybe even J if the right pair came along. I was really impressed at the difference, especially in the cut vs my old ones. Hope this helps! I would really recommend I SI in a great cut for earrings, hands down.

 

[Jennifer5973]

I think lop and Michelle expressed the crux of the matter very well--at the end of the day, to each her own with rings/upgrades but it is the feelings and reasons for having those rings that are most important.

Wink's post hit a nerve with me. What is this obsession with size? I don't have friends with whom I need to compete--I'll tell ya, I have the best jewelry of all my friends and family, even most coworkers. Maybe it's self-consciousness over my chubby 7.5 finger...Maybe it's a lifetime of things never being "good enough" no matter how thin, how smart, how successful... Maybe it's the type A personality that never lets me rest. So many people say to me "You always need a project..."

Diamonds should be fun and when used in eRings and wedding bands, representative of the vastly more important emotions and relationship of which they are an outward representation.

When the new terror warnings came out, it was very difficult--my husband works in one of the targeted buildings and I've had a hard time with the events of 9/11 and its aftermath. I remember cleaning my rings that Sunday to try to get my mind off of the state of events (I had exhausted begging my husband not to go to work on Monday). As I handled each wedding ring, each given to me my my husband and blessed by the priest who married us (he gets them blessed), I just thought how worthless they all looked; as I held each one, it seemed to fade into my hand... If something happened to him, they'd mean no more to me than a pile of junk.

Maybe I am on the right track, a work in progress.

 

[Mara]

Personally I think that every expresses or feels sentiment in different ways. For me something like an engagement ring or diamonds cannot really be seen in any sort of sentimental way because when we were buying ours, I turned it into a mathematical analysis with charts and late nights crunching numbers. My brain works that way. If there is something to learn more about, or take apart and figure how it works, then it almost ceases to carry any sort of real emotional meaning for me. This is why my original e-ring stone was more like an accomplishment than a sentimental gift, and my 2nd one I am even more proud of. Not because it's an expensive diamond, but rather because I feel like I finally 'figured' it all out.

However, something like a card given to me by Greg carries much sentiment, I think I have mentioned this Xmas card he gave me to me where it noted that finding me was the best thing that happened to him. Considering he is not overly emotional or sentimental either, something like that which really expressed how he was feeling in a way that I don't often hear really meant alot to me. I even incorporated the card wording into our vows.

But something like a diamond, mine or his..it just does not carry that same sentiment. I think that if I had not been involved in the choice, and been utterly surprised, or if we were starving college students and he had to really struggle to get me the stone it may be different, but we both are a bit older and already have material wealth in our lives, so in my opinion, we both tend to place less IMPORTANCE on things like this from an emotional standpoint.

As Jennifer noted, if the man were gone, the rings would not mean as much. It's easy for me to gab about my ring and stone and upgrading it because I have my husband with me. But if he were gone, chances are I would keep the set I have now, because it was what I got when I was with him.

I think it is often hard for people to realize and/or understand that not everyone thinks as they do, and they may find it hard to accept other viewpoints because they do not see value in them.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------
But something like a diamond, mine or his..it just does not carry that same sentiment. I think that if I had not been involved in the choice, and been utterly surprised, or if we were starving college students and he had to really struggle to get me the stone it may be different, but we both are a bit older and already have material wealth in our lives, so in my opinion, we both tend to place less IMPORTANCE on things like this from an emotional standpoint.

As Jennifer noted, if the man were gone, the rings would not mean as much. It's easy for me to gab about my ring and stone and upgrading it because I have my husband with me. But if he were gone, chances are I would keep the set I have now, because it was what I got when I was with him.

I think it is often hard for people to realize and/or understand that not everyone thinks as they do, and they may find it hard to accept other viewpoints because they do not see value in them. ----------------

True, I guess other's don't see others' viewpoints. lol I am one of them. I'm totally opposite here. My dad died when I was 16 and my mom left me hardly ANYTHING sentimental when she moved to Europe, so truthfully the diamond my dad purchased for her means the world to me as it represents the love he had for her before she turned all nuts and ran off!

Also, my husband and I were DEAD BROKE college students when we bought my ring so it does mean a lot in that my husband was willing to spend so much (retail

) on a ring that he didn't think 'ooooh ahhhh' about (lol - he's so totally not into jewelery here) so I guess it's meant so much since I've gone through two pregnancies with it and LOTS more too, of course, that have altered the courses in my husband's and my lives and taught me quite a bit. I'm only 31, still learning, but trying to appreciate MORE than just the things, such as diamonds, that I tend to obsess over

lol

Hmmmm. . . maybe this means I'm more materialistic, which I admit to a certain degree I am (the rest I'll deny because then I'll have to cut up my credit cards, rather than shop more

), as I do place high importance on my jewelry, especially my wedding set!?! lol

But, what IS cool, is that we all got our guys!

Cheers to this, ladies!

Michelle

 

[fire&ice]

I don't see my anniversary ring as an upgrade persay. From the beginning, hubby called my original e-ring a "starter" diamond. It's an evolution that mirrors where we are.

 

[Mara]

Michelle, I don't think that it means you are materialistic because you place value on your ring at all. Though everyone is "materialistic" in SOME sense, the society that we live in places values on material things, we all do in some way, shape, or form whether we admit to it or not.

But I also don't think its a bad thing to like stuff!!

You value your ring and diamonds because they ARE symbolic to you. Just as I value things such as the card that Greg gave to me because it's symbolic. If Greg did something like buy me an old car and fix it up just for me, that would have symbolic meaning as well, and it's a material item.

My point is that it's the thought and emotion behind something that most likely gives it that importance to us rather than the actual PRODUCT, whatever it may be. Whether it's a gesture or a material item...they all may mean different things to different people!

"But, what IS cool, is that we all got our guys! Cheers to this, ladies! "

I will drink to that.

 

[JennyN]

I had planned to "trade in" my original e-ring, but when it came down to it, I just couldn't...

Instead, I took the original diamond & had it mounted into a bezel set pendant. I also had 12 small channel set stones from my original wedding band, and they were pave set around the edge of the diamond. It turned out beautifully, and I'm so happy that I was able to incorporate all of the original stones into a single piece. It will definitely be handed down to my daughter!

 

[sparker]

I've decided to keep my (not original) but 15th anniversary ring intact. I still love it and it took a monumental miracle for my husband to even purchase it without my knowledge. I'm still also going to wear it as I work in schools where wearing a larger stone would feel odd for me. The parents I work with have nothing. So it stays and will be in circulation.

Suz

 

[Bagpuss]

I had a tiny diamond in my engagement ring by today's standards (about 25 points) but I've always loved it and I wore it constantly for over 25 years.

A couple of years ago I decided that I'd quite like a bigger diamond ring and my husband was quite happy to buy me one, (quite a big one as it happened) but I've never really thought of the new ring as an e-ring replacement, more as an alternative e-ring. I love my new ring, but more as a symbol of our prosperity and my husband's generosity.

I'll never alter my original ring as it will always be, in my mind, my only true engagement ring. My advice would be to think very carefully before disposing of or otherwise altering your original ring unless you really dislike it and are sure you won't regret it.