What''s the best/funniest thing you''ve heard from a maul store clerk?

[iota]

Let''s hear them, ladies!

What are some of the stupidest, outlandish, funniest things you''ve heard come out of the mouth of a maul store SA?

 

[cindygenit]

SA: " Hi... How can I... OMG is that your e-ring?"
Me: "Yes

"
SA: "I really love those square diamonds!!!"(referring to my princess cur centre stone)

I find this conversation funny because she didn''t know that the "square diamond" is actually called a princess.... sigh

 

[Renae]

I had just started my search for a 2 ct princess and couldn''t help myself and had to go into a mall store to try one on. They didn''t have one quite that big in the store, but could get one in for me. But it was going to cost me about 70K. Not kidding, that is what she said $70,000!!!!

Oh yeah, I''m that stupid.

 

[Luckyeshe]

As I was looking at diamonds and potential setting for my brother's FF with a male SA, a female SA walks all the way from across the store...and says " I'm sorry, I just had to come over. Your ring has been winking at me from across the room and I just had to see it. " I find that funny since he didn't buy it in a BM and he didn't get charged BM marked up prices! Hehehehehe! I believe our diamond is less than a 1/3 of what they were charging for the same stats

 

[Lula]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:12:47 PM
Author: Renae
I had just started my search for a 2 ct princess and couldn''t help myself and had to go into a mall store to try one on. They didn''t have one quite that big in the store, but could get one in for me. But it was going to cost me about 70K. Not kidding, that is what she said $70,000!!!!


Oh yeah, I''m that stupid.

Wow! I wonder how many they''ve sold at that price

 

[iota]

This has happened to me twice now. After trying on a few different things...

Me: Do you have any radiant cut diamonds?

SA hands me a round brilliant and says, "These are the most radiant diamonds we have".

_________________

Oh, oh, and at Birks (the "Tiffany of the North"), a young-ish SA tells me that "Our (patented cushion cut) is cut from the same rough as our round brilliants. And THAT's why they're so shiny."

 

[Sam82]

The SA tried to sell me a .75 carat stone for $2,500. She told me that the clarity was good. It was labeled as I1. When I asked about the cut quality, she told me round. When I told her I meant the quality not the shape, she looked at me with a blank stare.

 

[iota]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:26:42 PM
Author: Sam82
The SA tried to sell me a .75 carat stone for $2,500. She told me that the clarity was good. It was labeled as I1. When I asked about the cut quality, she told me round. When I told her I meant the quality not the shape, she looked at me with a blank stare.

lol. Yea, because you really needed her to tell you it''s a round diamond.

 

[HappyAnniversary]

Hope I haven''t already said this but I thought it was funny. I was looking to upgrade my wedding ring set and I was balking at the high prices they had for round diamonds, "This is a great idea and one way of getting a very good deal--she had me walk all the way across the store to the necklace section--"Buy this journey diamond necklace and use the largest one for your wedding set! You can use the other ones for side stones or earrings, and all for $400!!!!" Wow! Can''t believe I didn''t jump on that one!

 

[Gypsy]

Favorites I remember.

A bezel will make your studs look smaller. You really should get (these horribly ugly, I mean really horrid high set) four prong settings.

You should always buy a diamond set. If a diamond is unset, how can you tell if it''s going to look nice in your setting.

All sapphires are heated.

(several times) NO, you have a PRINCESS CUT, dear. (I have a generic asscher).

THE ONLY difference between white and yellow gold is the "rhodium flashing"... you scratch white gold, what do you get? YELLOW GOLD!



Honestly, I''ve stopped listening when they talk.


IOTA... ROFLMAO. Radiant Diamonds. Seriously?? That''s great.

 

[vip0802]

LOL! this is a great thread!

ok, i''m going to admit that i was a maul store clerk once so i have more stories about being on the other side. needless to say, the only good thing about working there were my co-workers because, i hated having to talk so "grandly" about our pieces to customers. i would bite my tongue on a lot of things that we sold. i was 17 or 18 at the time, and customers would always scoff at me because of my age. i do remember a couple that came in looking at engagement rings, and i tried my best to show them the better quality rings we had. we also happened to have a 2ct RB that was on sale and it was awful! i mean we were only selling it for $3k so you can just use your imagination.

anyway, the woman kept insisting that she wanted to see the ring so i eventually pulled it out for her. i was thinking, maybe she just wants to see what a 2ct looks on her finger. nope. she just started going on about why i didn''t pull this one out first, and that she REALLY knows her diamonds and that the ring was a stunner!

yeah...it''s a stunner alright.

 

[No Name]

I went to a well known "Company" and asked if they had a basket set solitaire with a 1 carat Assher. The SA looked in all the cases and finally told me they do not carry that style. I''m thinking to myself that she should roughly know of the top of her head what styles they carry, so she doesn''t waste my time looking for something they don''t have. I ask if they can do custom work ( I had several detailed pics of what I wanted" she yes they do. She informs me that they sell basket set earrings, and the jeweler would just clip one off and afix it to a band. So I ask how much for the setting alone and she says around 2200.00 for white gold

because of the "custom" work.

 

[Amethyste]

It's my friends birthday in a month and went to Kay's to get her a little pendant ( she loves betty boop and they had one there ). So I was browsing and the clerk said to me "I love your moissanite" while pointing at my Lemony pear. I am very expressive, so I bet that I must have given her a horrified look

.

She quickly corrected herself by saying " Oh... I am sorry, is this a Yellow Sapphire?"
"No, its a diamond!" And smiled. I bet she didnt believe me - especially coming into a store with a hippie dress, and a nice ring, she probably thought I was "trying" too much. Who cares, I know what it is...
I quickly left the store reminding myself to not go there on a Wednesday lol.

 

[bunrieu]

i saw a bear malling some guy at the maul

 

[metromom]

This thread is fantastic.
My teenage sister-in-law had her heart set on one of the Kay Jewelers diamond circle pendants for her birthday last year. So we went in to take a look at it. I couldn''t help but browse through the rings section. I asked one of the lovely sales associates if she has any bezel set eternity bands to try on as a stackable. After much looking, she hands me a channel set baquette band. I try to explain to her what I mean and start looking through the counters for an example. She says she doesn''t have any on those but if I find earrings that I like in that style they can "custom" fit it to fit my finger.
I, too, am very expressive and think I may have accidently burst out laughing.

 

[Catmom]

Several years ago hubby and I were looking to upgrade my diamond and had the store that we bought my princess at bring in some 2 carat diamonds. They finally were able to locate a 2 carater and had us come in to take a look. She handed me the stone and I pulled out my loupe to take a look and I literally gasped out loud. Huge black "boogers" covered the stone. The SA patted my hand and said "I know dear, isn''t it the most gorgeous diamond you''ve ever seen?" I was struggling so hard to keep a straight face and when we finally got out of there we both laughed so hard we cried.

Another time I wandered into the Neiman Marcus jewelry department and asked the SA if they carried any blue zircons. She sniffed and said "we only carry REAL jewelry here". I just shook my head and left, LOL.

 

[denverappraiser]

I was once working in a store and a customer came in to pick up a setting job for a maquise. The jeweler who did the work had set the stone crooked and the customer complained about it. The jeweler came out and explained that this wasn’t’ a problem but rather a design element because since your finger doesn’t grow straight out of your hand it sits better when you’re wearing it if the stone is rotated a little bit in the setting.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ICGA(AGS) NAJA
Professional Appraisals in Denver

 

[geckodani]

Date: 7/24/2009 9:50:12 AM
Author: denverappraiser
I was once working in a store and a customer came in to pick up a setting job for a maquise. The jeweler who did the work had set the stone crooked and the customer complained about it. The jeweler came out and explained that this wasn’t’ a problem but rather a design element because since your finger doesn’t grow straight out of your hand it sits better when you’re wearing it if the stone is rotated a little bit in the setting.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ICGA(AGS) NAJA
Professional Appraisals in Denver

Let''s see, some of the favs:

You should never put a diamond in a 6 prong setting, as it will block out all of the light. But the bezel settings let more light in.

I''ve gotten the same comment about white gold being nothing but yellow gold rhodium plated.

I was told that palladium is actually softer than platinum and weighs more (it''s more brittle than platinum, and weighs LESS).

 

[setell]

I was told by one lady not be so “technical” in what I wanted in my ring so I don’t lose the romance, she showed me a 0.50 carat cushion that was a SI1, D colour and very good cut. They wanted something outrageous like $4.5k+13% sales tax CAD for it. Said an engagement is about the romance and to not let my FI out of the picture by being “technical” which I think is her way of telling me not to be picky. At least my FI defended me by saying we’re very technical people and he is ok with me being technical. In my head I was thinking….dang 4.5k for a 0.5 carat and SI1 (I prefer clarity over colour)! I found her sales tactics tacky and she expected me to buy the darn diamond right then and there without looking at more. I don’t think she knew there are many looks to a cushion too as it was sheer luck the cushion she showed me was a modern facet cushion and I like moderns. What if I was a chunky cushion girl!!!

 

[abefroman]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:12:47 PM
Author: Renae
I had just started my search for a 2 ct princess and couldn''t help myself and had to go into a mall store to try one on. They didn''t have one quite that big in the store, but could get one in for me. But it was going to cost me about 70K. Not kidding, that is what she said $70,000!!!!


Oh yeah, I''m that stupid.

Please tell me it was IF D excellent cut.

 

[Moh 10]

I recently bought a small purplish-pink emerald-cut diamond.
One of the jewelers at a maul was an authorized Gelin Abaci dealer so I brought the stone and the GIA report to get a quote.
As long as I was there I stopped by other jewelry stores just to see examples of men's settings.

One store asked if I brought the stone I wanted set.
I showed her the stone and report and she got all excited and said, "Oh blue diamonds are more rare and desirable, we have one that you will love, let me show you". . I was surprised because let's just say this was NOT a high end jewelry store.

When she came back with the ring (four tiny princess-cut blues set to look like one larger stone) I recognized the shade of blue as being treated.
I said, "Do you have any natural colored diamonds?".
She said, "What do you mean, this is a genuine blue diamond". (I think she thought it was one diamond. Duh.)

I said, "Well, just because the diamond itself is real doesn't mean it came out the ground with that color."
She said, "These diamonds came to us this color, we have not done anything to change the color."

I told her, "The source of color in some diamonds is natural, but other diamonds are treated to improve their color."
Indignant she said, "THAT wouldn't make any difference!"

 

[MustangGal]

I was browsing though a Zales a few years ago to get an idea of sizes I liked. I tried on a 3 stone with about a .75ct center that had a HUGE crystal covering about 1/4 of the diamond. I commented to the sales clerk "this one sure has a big crystal", her response "no, it''s a real diamond"

 

[ChunkyCushionLover]

Date: 7/24/2009 10:50:03 AM
Author: Moh 10
I recently bought a small purplish-pink emerald-cut diamond.
One of the jewelers at a maul was an authorized Gelin Abaci dealer so I brought the stone and the GIA report to get a quote.
As long as I was there I stopped by other jewelry stores just to see examples of men''s settings.

One store asked if I brought the stone I wanted set.
I showed her the stone and report and she got all excited and said, ''Oh blue diamonds are more rare and desirable, we have one that you will love, let me show you''. . I was surprised because let''s just say this was NOT a high end jewelry store.

When she came back with the ring (four tiny princess-cut blues set to look like one larger stone) I recognized the shade of blue as being treated.
I said, ''Do you have any natural colored diamonds?''.
She said, ''What do you mean, this is a genuine blue diamond''. (I think she thought it was one diamond. Duh.)

I said, ''Well, just because the diamond itself is real doesn''t mean it came out the ground with that color.''
She said, ''These diamonds came to us this color, we have not done anything to change the color.''

I told her, ''The source of color in some diamonds is natural, but other diamonds are treated to improve their color.''
Indignant she said, ''THAT wouldn''t make any difference!''

You know what I find funny the word "Maul" I am sure all of these people don''t like being mauled by a bear I''m they might work in a shopping Mall.
As you are the second person to spell it this way I have to ask is that some internet slang or some american thing?

 

[Moh 10]

Maul is a play on words.

Here is a common thread here on PS . . .

I just bought a diamond at mall jewelry store X.
Now that I've been reading here I realize I paid WAY too much and got a really low-quality diamond, and the salesperson really misled me.

I feel as though I've been mauled.

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 7/24/2009 12:10:25 PM
Author: Moh 10
Maul is a play on words.

Here is a common thread here on PS . . .

I just bought a diamond at mall jewelry store X.
Now that I''ve been reading here I realize I paid WAY too much and got a really low-quality diamond, and the salesperson really mislead me.

I feel as though I''ve been mauled.

its so funny though... i crack up everytime i hear it.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 7/24/2009 9:50:12 AM
Author: denverappraiser
I was once working in a store and a customer came in to pick up a setting job for a maquise. The jeweler who did the work had set the stone crooked and the customer complained about it. The jeweler came out and explained that this wasn’t’ a problem but rather a design element because since your finger doesn’t grow straight out of your hand it sits better when you’re wearing it if the stone is rotated a little bit in the setting.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ICGA(AGS) NAJA
Professional Appraisals in Denver

Points for creatitivy and the ability to think fast on their feet?

Though if it were me the glib tongue would have cost the store a customer permanently.

Stil.. "design element"... lol.

I just remembered another a couple.

SA was wearing a REALLY REALLY REALLY gorgeous Pad Sapphire, and HUGE in a high carat gold bezel setting and I asked her about it. She mentioned it's history, and that she wasn't sure she picked the right setting ofr it, and I told her that the color knocked me off my feet, and with a color like that... I'd be fine with the window in the cutting (HUGE window, not helped by setting) and maybe just add a back to the bezel to enclose it to minimize the appearance of the window.

45 minutes of conversation resulted. Bottom line. DO NOT mention the word WINDOW in a Maul Store. There will be much confusion about ACTUAL store windows (like the glass ones) and it's just not worth it. And the words, backing the bezel...

Just don't do it.

Metromom. I too have had some "expressive moments" of hilarity. You can't help it sometimes.


For some reason my stepdad has recently been buying my mom jewelry from Macy's (he likes the return policy and really believes them about their sale prices). I unfortunately, have been asked to accompany so that I can give him my opinion on the pieces he's considering. It's REALLY HARD. He bought these pearls. GAWD. I could have gotten twice the quality and half the price from at least two vendors I know of. And all I could say is 'they are pretty.'.... over and over and over again. Because he really isn't the type to buy online and he was doing such a sweet thing, but inside I was being VERY expessive. Espcially once the girl started talking about how they were baroque south sea pearls (they were fresh water 'baroque' and honestly not good quality at all) at a great price. I really was gritting my teeth and had to point out that the TAG said, Freshwater Pearls. Which resulted in the comment, "Right Freshwater pearls from the South Seas".... I laughed. My step dad looked confused, the sales girl indignant and I sighed and just said, "They are pretty," again.

 

[joelly]

I went to Robbins Bros after learning so much from PS. We went there to look at settings. Just for the sake of conversation, my FI asked the SA if they carry an ideal cut diamond and if we can see it. Her reply was an ideal cut is any diamond thats ideal for you. My FI was like.....huh? I was trying very hard not to burst out laughing.

 

[Moh 10]

I thought ideal cut was when the sales associate gets an ideal cut of the profits.

 

[vespergirl]

"All of our diamonds are Ideal Cut" while I was looking at a GIA Cert that listed the diamond as a Very Good Cut.

 

[vespergirl]

More that I forgot about - two different people "corrected" me by telling me that my asscher was a princess. The one woman was a a salesgirl, but the other was a goldsmith, and owner of the jewelry store!