What's the best advice you ever received?

[missy]

Going from another thread please share the best advice you ever received. I am pretty sure there is a thread here already with the same title (maybe started by me a few years ago) but I was unable to find it and anyway would love to hear from new members and old members alike.

What was the best advice you ever got (whether or not you took it)?

 

[missy]

The advice my dad gave me decades ago still resonates as one of the best pieces of advice I ever got. He said to me "Missy, life is nothing without taking (smart) risks" And right he was/is. My dad is a wise man and I refer to his advice as Stanley-isms. LOL.

The specific circumstance behind this advice was that Greg proposed to me (after dating for 4 years) and I was not ready. I was stunned and scared. Not because I didn't love him. I was crazy in love with him. But because I didn't think I wanted to ever get married. I loved my life. Single and free but with an amazing man sharing my life. On my terms. Anyway I spoke with my dad the next day and he gave me that advice. Best decision I ever made and best advice I was ever given.

Thanks Dad. Love you.

 

[dk168]

Apart from "get a good education" from my parents, I am very grateful for the advice from my English as a Foreign Language (EFL) teacher when I started to attend a boarding school in England in 1979.

She said to me, if I were to gain respectability and climb up the socioeconomic ladder in this country, then I should work hard to drop my (HK) Chinese accent, and learn to speak English as if I were announcing the news on the BBC.

Those were the teachings of the day.

And I was thrilled when I was asked if I were from UK when I went travelling in Europe in the summer 2 years later, as I worked very hard at dropping my accent since my first EFL lesson!

I believe it definitely helped with my application to remain in this country 10 years later. By then I had completed my studies, qualified and was working as a health care professional.

I believe the person who was handling my request at the immigration office was satisfied that I had integrated based on my accent, financially independent and trust-worthy based on my qualification, etc. etc...

Not bad for someone who has yet to pass her basic English exam (did it 4 times in 2 years) by 18, and went on to study at university based on other English qualifications that satisfied the minimum entry requirements at the time!

DK

 

[missy]

@dk168 you certainly turned the advice into action. You made it work. Kudos. Education is, as my dad always said, something no one could ever take from you. We lost family in the Holocaust and those words still ring true to this day. Education is the most powerful weapon in our future. With it we can change the world. Ignorance is dangerous and education (knowledge) is what will save us.

 

[dk168]

@missy indeed, and I am eternally grateful for my parents for sending me to UK for a better education.

I love to learn even to this day.

DK

 

[missy]

@missy indeed, and I am eternally grateful for my parents for sending me to UK for a better education.

I love to learn even to this day.

DK

If we are wise we never stop learning. Learning is a life long endeavor. It keeps us engaged in life. And not to be inquisitive and have a thirst for knowledge is not palatable to me. Wanting to learn more is what keeps life interesting. IMO.

 

[Big Fat Facets]

The best piece of advice i ever received. Seems like so much good advice has come my way...

One piece of advice my mother gave me was, "keep yourself tidy, pay no attention to what your peers are doing, focus on yourself."

I never dated in high school. It helped that i attended all girls catholic prep school.

When college time came, I was accepted to art school.

There i met my now husband. He asked me out on a date. I told him that i don't mess around with dating and that im a serious minded student and don't want distractions. He persisted. So we on our first "date"...for dessert, then we went on another and then another, dinner, lunch, tea etc. 2 months or 3 months went by and he told me that he loved me. I told him that i like him very much but i just don't want to complicate my life. So he sat me down and said he was serious. I told him i hadn't dated and frankly all of it scared me. But i so enjoyed his company and he was attentive and good to me. 5 months after meeting him, He proposed without a ring. I said yes. We got married 6 months after we met at school with matching cartier trinity russian wedding rings.

Ive provided the condensed version of it, of course.

 

[Skyjems]

A friend/mentor told me: "other people's opinions are none of your business"

No matter who you are, there will be people who do not like you.

I remember someone once telling me "you are too happy"

Well... I'm not going to make myself miserable to make other people happy, so I guess that it's their problem to deal with.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

My father: Marry that idiot boy. He will be easy to deal with. If you don't marry him there is no hope for you and I will disown you.

Marry him I did, not because I wanted to obey my father exactly but because I found the "idiot" boy extremely endearing. Plus after a lifetime of dealing with manipulation and insane temper tantrums it was nice to hang out with someone who did not have a manipulative bone in their body, someone who said what they meant but never said unkind things because they rarely had unkind thoughts, didn't have any ego and never had a meltdown.

Turns out it was the best advice I ever took and the hippy, fluffy, zen, happy go lucky boy was the worst candidate my father could have picked for his grand plans.

I am still baffled as to why he wanted me to marry hubby so much. I suspect it was greed and overreaching. He didn't want to battle someone domineering like himself so picked the fluffiest candidate he could. What he didn't realise (and boy did it haunt him in later years) was that hubby is a champion of happiness, self reflection and inner peace. My father's worst nightmare.

I adore my husband I really do and I would marry him again in any other lifetime but it's extra sweet to watch my parents seethe in anger over a choice that they promoted!

 

[kenny]

Breath.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Don't rely on anyone for money. Make sure you can stand on your own.

 

[missy]

Breath.

I'm pretty sure breathing is part of the autonomic nervous system but if you mean take deep breaths and relax yes. That is good advice.

Don't rely on anyone for money. Make sure you can stand on your own.

Amen to that.

 

[missy]

My father: Marry that idiot boy. He will be easy to deal with. If you don't marry him there is no hope for you and I will disown you.

Marry him I did, not because I wanted to obey my father exactly but because I found the "idiot" boy extremely endearing. Plus after a lifetime of dealing with manipulation and insane temper tantrums it was nice to hang out with someone who did not have a manipulative bone in their body, someone who said what they meant but never said unkind things because they rarely had unkind thoughts, didn't have any ego and never had a meltdown.

Turns out it was the best advice I ever took and the hippy, fluffy, zen, happy go lucky boy was the worst candidate my father could have picked for his grand plans.

I am still baffled as to why he wanted me to marry hubby so much. I suspect it was greed and overreaching. He didn't want to battle someone domineering like himself so picked the fluffiest candidate he could. What he didn't realise (and boy did it haunt him in later years) was that hubby is a champion of happiness, self reflection and inner peace. My father's worst nightmare.

I adore my husband I really do and I would marry him again in any other lifetime but it's extra sweet to watch my parents seethe in anger over a choice that they promoted!

I'm so glad you have a wonderful partner in your DH.

 

[missy]

A friend/mentor told me: "other people's opinions are none of your business"

No matter who you are, there will be people who do not like you.

I remember someone once telling me "you are too happy"

Well... I'm not going to make myself miserable to make other people happy, so I guess that it's their problem to deal with.

Truth! 100% agree with everything you wrote above.

 

[missy]

The best piece of advice i ever received. Seems like so much good advice has come my way...

One piece of advice my mother gave me was, "keep yourself tidy, pay no attention to what your peers are doing, focus on yourself."

I never dated in high school. It helped that i attended all girls catholic prep school.

When college time came, I was accepted to art school.

There i met my now husband. He asked me out on a date. I told him that i don't mess around with dating and that im a serious minded student and don't want distractions. He persisted. So we on our first "date"...for dessert, then we went on another and then another, dinner, lunch, tea etc. 2 months or 3 months went by and he told me that he loved me. I told him that i like him very much but i just don't want to complicate my life. So he sat me down and said he was serious. I told him i hadn't dated and frankly all of it scared me. But i so enjoyed his company and he was attentive and good to me. 5 months after meeting him, He proposed without a ring. I said yes. We got married 6 months after we met at school with matching cartier trinity russian wedding rings.

Ive provided the condensed version of it, of course.

It was meant to be. True love.