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What, to date, is the one best thing you have ever done?

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
Something that was a huge relief and made it feel as if a weight was lifted from your chest?

calvinandhobbeslifeiscomplicated.jpg
 

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Slick1

Brilliant_Rock
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Joined
Jan 3, 2013
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1,560
A couple of things come to mind...
Paying off my mortgage early! Woo hoo!
Completing settling my parents’ estate after they passed away. Because of snafus, it took three years!

What was yours @missy ? I quite am sure you’ll feel this way when RWgate is over.
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 11, 2011
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5,357
Well idk about huge relief - but I think doing premarital counseling and doing couples’ counseling periodically has been amazing for my marriage. Whenever we start feeling any strain we go back and learn to improve our communication and working together, and truly our partnership is SO much stronger for it.

Likewise personal therapy has been amazingly helpful at difficult times in my life.

Recently - talking to my friend who joined the cult about “hi did you notice you joined a cult? Here are all the reasons this looks like a cult to me and seems like a very unhealthy group to be involved in” as gently as possible utilizing the strategies cult researchers suggest to talk about that sort of thing. She did not particularly listen to me - but I felt relieved for having done it, because if she gets further in and worse stuff starts happening I would always feel guilty if I hadn’t talked to her and wondered if I could have prevented her getting further involved. In fact I learned more alarming details the day after I talked to her but I was still so much less stressed out since I had said my piece. For several weeks until I spoke to her it had been occupying about 90% of my mind and now it’s only occupying about 1%.
 

dk168

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jul 7, 2013
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4,814
Keeping my late partner's dog as my own after his sudden death.
I shall always remember how happy he was when I went to collect him, and from that moment on, I decided to keep him.
To this day, I believe the dog survived the accident and asked to stay alive to look after me by my late partner.
A picture of him taken by me on my late partner's canal boat on a fine and happy day.
I probably needed him more than he needed me at the time of my late partner's death, however I know I had made the right decision to keep him as he is such a good and happy dog!

SmilingBorda.JPG

DK :))
 

Begonia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
1,395
Staying home with both newborns. Decided to live as simply as possible and take care of those wee babies. Stayed home for 14 years cuz youngest needed additional support. We aren’t in the best shape financially (I’ll always have to work), but those lads are positively lovely.

Joining a gym at 53 (after never having been in one!) to try to strengthen my osteoporotic bones, and my core (major back issues). Making some gains!:lol:

Having the strength to help Mum leave the world, after she helped me into the world.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
A couple of things come to mind...
Paying off my mortgage early! Woo hoo!
Completing settling my parents’ estate after they passed away. Because of snafus, it took three years!

What was yours @missy ? I quite am sure you’ll feel this way when RWgate is over.
Yanno, I don't know yet. I have to think about it. Questions come easy to me but sometimes the answers don't lol.

Those are quite the accomplishments @Slick1 :appl:
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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28,480
Staying home with both newborns. Decided to live as simply as possible and take care of those wee babies. Stayed home for 14 years cuz youngest needed additional support. We aren’t in the best shape financially (I’ll always have to work), but those lads are positively lovely.

Joining a gym at 53 (after never having been in one!) to try to strengthen my osteoporotic bones, and my core (major back issues). Making some gains!:lol:

Having the strength to help Mum leave the world, after she helped me into the world.
You go girl. Those are awesome on all counts. Having had our mom home with us til we went away to college was a real privilege and we are so fortunate we had that.

And helping your mom gain peace from the pain is beyond words. You are not just a wonderful mom but an amazing daughter too.

Woohoo for joining the gym and working out and may it bring you major health gains. I find it also has the benefit of quieting anxiety. At least for me. Good luck @Begonia
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
Keeping my late partner's dog as my own after his sudden death.
I shall always remember how happy he was when I went to collect him, and from that moment on, I decided to keep him.
To this day, I believe the dog survived the accident and asked to stay alive to look after me by my late partner.
A picture of him taken by me on my late partner's canal boat on a fine and happy day.
I probably needed him more than he needed me at the time of my late partner's death, however I know I had made the right decision to keep him as he is such a good and happy dog!

SmilingBorda.JPG

DK :))
Aww what a sweet dog. And so glad you had each other to lean on and be there for love and support. I am very sorry for your loss. Animals sense when we need them and give us extra love I think.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
Well idk about huge relief - but I think doing premarital counseling and doing couples’ counseling periodically has been amazing for my marriage. Whenever we start feeling any strain we go back and learn to improve our communication and working together, and truly our partnership is SO much stronger for it.

Likewise personal therapy has been amazingly helpful at difficult times in my life.

Recently - talking to my friend who joined the cult about “hi did you notice you joined a cult? Here are all the reasons this looks like a cult to me and seems like a very unhealthy group to be involved in” as gently as possible utilizing the strategies cult researchers suggest to talk about that sort of thing. She did not particularly listen to me - but I felt relieved for having done it, because if she gets further in and worse stuff starts happening I would always feel guilty if I hadn’t talked to her and wondered if I could have prevented her getting further involved. In fact I learned more alarming details the day after I talked to her but I was still so much less stressed out since I had said my piece. For several weeks until I spoke to her it had been occupying about 90% of my mind and now it’s only occupying about 1%.
I am sorry about your friend joining a cult. I am glad you said what you had to and now it is in her hands. As with most things it really is up to that individual to get out of a bad situation and you can only do so much. She is lucky to have you as a friend and hopefully one day she will see the cult for what it is.


Glad you have the tools necessary to make it through all relationships. I agree that having such tools can get you far in life. Communication and working as a team is key. Hugs to you @distracts.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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28,480
I'm not there yet but I'm sure I'll feel this way when I finish paying my student loans!
Yes you will! Chipping away at it a little bit at a time and before you know it you will be free!
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
Thinking about it and reading your replies so far I would have to say graduating with my professional degree was a huge weight off my shoulders.

I felt like I could accomplish anything once I did that. And started earning real money so I could buy my first home and I paid that 30 year mortgage off in 3 years just because I wanted peace of mind from debt (and to me mortgage is debt).

So those 2 things but mainly the first thing was a huge weight off my mind. Knowing I would be self sufficient as I made my way into the (adult) world was everything to me at that time.
 

kipari

Brilliant_Rock
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Joined
Jan 9, 2015
Messages
1,457
Going abroad during my studies.
First time REALLY on my own. New country, foreign language, no phone, no bank account, no friends no clue how things worked. After I set up all necessary stuff within a couple of days, I made great friends and had a blast for a year. It gave me the confidence that I'll always have the option to start over. It helped me realize that an outside perspective on anything (my own life, country, goals) is always helpful. Opened my mind in an accelerated fashion.

Plus I met my DH there . Can't beat that!! Led to the other best decision in my life: marrying my DH.
 

Mayk

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 12, 2011
Messages
4,522
Not losing my mind three years ago when my company went through a restructure and my job changed. I took a back seat and decided to stay. I was promoted this year and given my dream job. So glad I took a deep breath and looked for the silver lining. It was a time when my mom was sick and the step back gave me more flexibility. My mom would call it a God moment. I lost my mom January of 2018. Those last couple of years I was free to fly across the country to see her. Had I changed companies I would likely have needed to take leave to be by her side as often as I was. I stayed where I had seniority and plenty of vacation time and I could also work remotely. Best decision ever to be patient and believe some things happen for a reason.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
Going abroad during my studies.
First time REALLY on my own. New country, foreign language, no phone, no bank account, no friends no clue how things worked. After I set up all necessary stuff within a couple of days, I made great friends and had a blast for a year. It gave me the confidence that I'll always have the option to start over. It helped me realize that an outside perspective on anything (my own life, country, goals) is always helpful. Opened my mind in an accelerated fashion.

Plus I met my DH there . Can't beat that!! Led to the other best decision in my life: marrying my DH.
Yes what a fortuitous situation and I agree on all counts. Keeping an open mind and not thinking one way is the only way and hearing others perspective really helps one in life. If one can listen long enough and keep one's mind open enough anything is possible. And double bonus meeting your DH while you were there. Come to think of it if I hadn't gone into the profession I did I never would have met my dh either. Isn't life funny that way? Meant to be or happy accident? Hmmm perhaps a topic for another thread.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
Not losing my mind three years ago when my company went through a restructure and my job changed. I took a back seat and decided to stay. I was promoted this year and given my dream job. So glad I took a deep breath and looked for the silver lining. It was a time when my mom was sick and the step back gave me more flexibility. My mom would call it a God moment. I lost my mom January of 2018. Those last couple of years I was free to fly across the country to see her. Had I changed companies I would likely have needed to take leave to be by her side as often as I was. I stayed where I had seniority and plenty of vacation time and I could also work remotely. Best decision ever to be patient and believe some things happen for a reason.
Dear Mary so glad you had the wisdom to take that step back when your mom was ill. And pleased you had that valuable time with her. I am so sorry for your loss.

Patience is indeed a virtue and so glad it paid off for you. Thrilled for you that you got the promotion you deserved and now have your dream job. You earned that and deserve it. (((Hugs))).
 

Mayk

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 12, 2011
Messages
4,522
Dear Mary so glad you had the wisdom to take that step back when your mom was ill. And pleased you had that valuable time with her. I am so sorry for your loss.

Patience is indeed a virtue and so glad it paid off for you. Thrilled for you that you got the promotion you deserved and now have your dream job. You earned that and deserve it. (((Hugs))).
you are always the sweetest!!!! :kiss2:
 

Asscherhalo_lover

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
4,315
Yes you will! Chipping away at it a little bit at a time and before you know it you will be free!
It's been 11 years! and it used to cost more than my rent. DH and I both consolidated over the last year and got it down to a car payment vs. a house payment. Soon we might actually be able to buy a house, lol!
 

SparkleC

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 2, 2018
Messages
93
Quitting a job I'd worked my entire professional career to achieve. It's still kind of fresh....Friday was my last day. I've always said I had the best job in the world because I had a job that loved me back. Not many people can say that. (I work in higher education and I've always felt I've made a significant difference in the lives of young people.) But in the last 2.5 years (coincidently the same exact amount of time I've had a new boss), I have absolutely hated my job. It's hard to work for a narcissist who is mentally abusive and throws you under the bus. A lot.

I'm detoxing from the stress and I've slept better in the past week than I have in ages. I start a new job on Monday at another university. I'm not a senior executive anymore. I get to work directly with students. I took a 50%+ pay cut and I couldn't be happier. I've been the senior executive at three universities so I've reached the top of my game and validated all the work I did to get my Ph.D. Now I can coast into retirement doing what I love and not having to deal with the politics and personalities. Never been more sure of a decision in my life!!
 

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 22, 2014
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3,753
Going from 39 and just divorced with numerous health issues to 40 and remarried with a miracle baby in my arms.
Miracle baby is now 18 and will start her university studies 2020 and while I still doubt my mothering capability she has turned out very well!
She is a gifted one and intends to make her mark in medical research and I believe she will.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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you are all amazing
i don't think i have done anything as note worthy in my life
ive always wanted a career but ive only ever just had jobs that bearly paid the bills
I disagree completely Nicky. I think you have accomplished so much and come so far handling the challenges with grace and love. You rock @Daisys and Diamonds and I am not the only one who thinks so either. Girl don't sell yourself short please. You are an amazing woman who rises up to meet each challenge with a great attitude and good humor and you make it work. (((Hugs))).
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
Going from 39 and just divorced with numerous health issues to 40 and remarried with a miracle baby in my arms.
Miracle baby is now 18 and will start her university studies 2020 and while I still doubt my mothering capability she has turned out very well!
She is a gifted one and intends to make her mark in medical research and I believe she will.
Kudos to you @Bron357 and you are amazing. I hope and pray your miracle baby will make miracles for others by making her mark in medical research. And for making your life wonderful after a difficult beginning.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
28,480
Quitting a job I'd worked my entire professional career to achieve. It's still kind of fresh....Friday was my last day. I've always said I had the best job in the world because I had a job that loved me back. Not many people can say that. (I work in higher education and I've always felt I've made a significant difference in the lives of young people.) But in the last 2.5 years (coincidently the same exact amount of time I've had a new boss), I have absolutely hated my job. It's hard to work for a narcissist who is mentally abusive and throws you under the bus. A lot.

I'm detoxing from the stress and I've slept better in the past week than I have in ages. I start a new job on Monday at another university. I'm not a senior executive anymore. I get to work directly with students. I took a 50%+ pay cut and I couldn't be happier. I've been the senior executive at three universities so I've reached the top of my game and validated all the work I did to get my Ph.D. Now I can coast into retirement doing what I love and not having to deal with the politics and personalities. Never been more sure of a decision in my life!!
Congratulations @SparkleC and wishing you all the best as you embark on this new and wonderful chapter in your life. Kudos to you for being so courageous and making a big change. :appl:
 

Tekate

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
5,836
I lived my life as a good person and tried my best to be a person who was there for those who needed me. Sounds like a saint right? well I didn't always do the best but I tried. :)
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 19, 2004
Messages
19,831
HI:

I keep working on the best thing I have ever done: nurturing my family and true friends close relationships. Long term goals, but well worth my journey.

Yet in perspective, I don't have anything "else" to do. :))

cheers--Sharon
 

Dandi

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 9, 2006
Messages
5,214
Paying off our mortgage still fairly young (DH was 38, I was 31) would be up there for me. We both worked super hard, most weekends, second jobs and overtime before we had children. We were often ridiculed by friends who told us we worked too much, but we are so glad that we did!
 

JrJ

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 30, 2018
Messages
133
Dating my best friend who is two years younger than me and two inches shorter than me. I would have never have considered looking past those two features EVER, but did for him and it was the best thing I could have ever have done.
The next thing will hopefully happen soon: adopting a child. I have dreamed of adopting since I was a teen, I couldn’t stand knowing how terrible other kids have it and I had it pretty bad myself, but knew other kids had it much worse. I truly think getting a child into a stable family is the best thing someone can do for that person and the people in their future will be affected positively,too.
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 19, 2004
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19,831
HI:

Actually I posted above the most important thing I'm doing which maybe isn't the "best" thing I've done. KWIM?

I think the best thing I've ever done was to complete my Masters Degree by thesis route. Completing the degree by couse work was just not going to cut it for me. Given I had worked in research and was published (not first author), I knew I could conduct my own research and be the principle. It was very validating and worthwhile. Best thing ever!

cheers--Sharon
 

lyra

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jul 13, 2007
Messages
4,548
Got married, had kids. Those 2 things brought me the most happiness and fulfillment in my life and still do. Our family unit is tight and I like having adult kids. They're way more fun than babies, toddlers or teenagers ever were!
 
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