What The Want Ads REALLY Mean

[iLander]

So I was looking through some want ads, trying to get a feel for what DD and other kids today face in their job searches. I was amazed at how a lot of the ads seemed to combine several positions into one! It reminded me of the scene in Outsourced where the manager says to the assistant manager, who's considering hiring an additional worker, "Lets just make the others work twice as hard, and keep the extra salary for ourselves". I feel like this is where all that extra CEO cash is coming from.

I wrote this thing to vent. See if you've noticed this too:

Between the Lines of the Help Wanted Ad

We want someone who will do everything possible to relieve us of our workload. We also want skills outside of your schooling, and outside of this field, just because we thought it would be fun to throw those in the ad. You probably won't have these skills (because seriously, no one does), so your resume will be bumped out by our computer system. We are too busy with office politics to actually look at resumes. Between our networking, team building, conferencing, meetings, and corporate retreats, we're not actually doing anything at all, but we all have emails that point the blame for the low numbers to the newest hire. We had to get rid of that guy last month, so we'd like to replace him with you. Well, not actually you, per se. We will put in that guy we met at a conference, he told good jokes and bought us all drinks at the bar. HR insists that we place these ads, and conduct "interviews", but we all liked that guy. He doesn't have any of the skills necessary for the position, but we only need him long enough to cover for our low numbers. Don't expect to hear back, even if you did spend hours interviewing, we have urgent off-site research to conduct. At the bar with the new guy.

Yeah, I'm a little bitter . . .

 

[Maria D]

oh ilander....

How did you get such an accurate perception of corporate life!

I do the exact same thing - look at the types of help wanted ads that my daughter will be facing in a couple of years when she graduates. What gets me is how there are no entry-level positions - all are looking for min 3-5 years experience. How are the new graduates supposed to get this experience when there are no min 0-2 years experience listings? Is that because grads are expected to do unpaid or min wage internships now?

 

[Karl_K]

Wanted environment helper.
Must know how to vacuum, make coffee, sort garbage.
Safe disposal of puke and used condoms.
Run a snow shovel and snow blower.
Be willing to get yelled at by anyone having a bad day.

Requirements:
4 year degree in environmental science or related field.
5-10 years experience
Pay $9.95/hour, 30 hours a week.
Pass a daily drug test.

 

[JewelFreak]

It really wasn't too much different when I was looking for jobs out of college in the days of dragons & swords. I can't count how many "not enough experience" feedbacks I got for entry-level jobs. I remember howling the same question, how do you get experience if nobody will hire you without experience? The difference now is that there are a ton fewer companies hiring & my heart breaks for kids trying gallantly to start their lives.

--- Laurie

 

[kalomeli]

This thread is funny because it's true.

"Hi! I'm kalomeli, a PS addict and soon graduating M.Sc. currently trying to find work."

But sometimes you do get lucky: I've spent the past few months applying for jobs and all I got was messages telling that they don't want me... but last Friday I felt the wind changing. I got two (2) phone calls the same day and now I have two (2!!!) job interviews next week!

 

[JewelFreak]

Yay, Kalomeli!! Good work! I need a thumbs-up emotie. Claps will have to do.

 

[royalstarrynight]

I've been telling a lot of new grads to just apply for every thing that asks for 5 years of experience and below. In my experience that equate to entry level now a days.

Internships are so critical because they are kind of treated as the new "entry" level position.

However, I think it's always been true that your job is going to ask you to do new things that you never learned in school. That's why companies are so big into how well you learn.

Nevertheless iLander, I think you've captured corporate life fairly accurately. There's so many events and meetings that it's hard to shove real work in.

 

[manderz]

This sounds like my last two positions at my current agency. One kept pushing more and more work onto my, even when I was already running around like a chicken with my head cut off, that there was no way I could get it done. I was leaving daily with a miserable tension headache. Now, my position is to go into schools to teach anti-drug and anti-violence curriculum, and I"m more of a PR person, running out departmental facebook page, creating a newsletter, and various flyers, etc. Did not learn any of that when I was going to school to learn to be a counselor!

 

[chrono]

I've been telling a lot of new grads to just apply for every thing that asks for 5 years of experience and below. In my experience that equate to entry level now a days. Internships are so critical because they are kind of treated as the new "entry" level position. However, I think it's always been true that your job is going to ask you to do new things that you never learned in school. That's why companies are so big into how well you learn.

Nevertheless iLander, I think you've captured corporate life fairly accurately. There's so many events and meetings that it's hard to shove real work in.

+1 to everything. It is very depressing for the new graduate.

 

[asscherisme]

It really wasn't too much different when I was looking for jobs out of college in the days of dragons & swords. I can't count how many "not enough experience" feedbacks I got for entry-level jobs. I remember howling the same question, how do you get experience if nobody will hire you without experience? The difference now is that there are a ton fewer companies hiring & my heart breaks for kids trying gallantly to start their lives.

--- Laurie

Even for teenagers. When I was a teenager in the '80s I had no problem getting part time work. My 17 year old desperately wants a part time job to help pump up college savings. He can't seem to get his foot in the door. Even for minimum wage retail type jobs. He is willing to bus tables, bag groceries and has pounded the pavements putting out applications and can't even get a call back for an interview. Its really tough out there for teens now because unemployment is so high now where I am that adults are taking jobs that once went to teens. Its hard for everyone.

 

[craighnt]

When I was in my early 20s, just out of college, the typical company would place a one sentence add in the local paper. They were short and to the point because they cost money, a lot of money for just one sentence.

I notice about 5 years after the internet got stated, say around 2000 the job hunting online really took off. Not just for geeks but for everyone. I thought this was a great idea at first, but I was wrong. The thing is, now you could post a more detailed job ad. Well that sounds like a good idea right? Wrong.

The problem is, HR took over and before long, those adds got longer and longer and longer. The very same job that would have been a sentence long 20 years ago are now a page long! They have become some sort of fantasy bucket list of dream candidate that will work 60 hours a week, 20 years of experience for almost nothing. it's crazy. How many applicants do they scare away?

Corporate America has also gotten greedier. They frequently site not being able to find qualified Americans but what they really mean is they cant find someone with a college degree that will work for 7,000 a year. There is more then enough people in the country to do any job if you are willing to pay a decent wage. I read a stat somewhere that in the 50's the average CEO made something like 30 times the salary of a typical employee. Today that same company CEO makes 150 times that salary.

Corporations have also become more rude. In the old days, you sent in a paper resume and they would either call you for an interview or let you down through a polite response letter that was usually a form letter but still at least a response. These days, its an email, "thank you for submitting, good by". You have no idea if they are still looking for someone, filled the potion or have on the short list for an interview. Oh, and don't try calling them, they get upset if you call. They used to actually like that, it showed initiative and interest in the company, but now they see it as annoying or stalking. And of course they are "too busy" to send out a form rejection letter.

So no wonder its hard for people to find a job. It's not just a tougher market, the rules have changed. Businesses want more for less, they no longer see courtesy as a two way street and all applicants are seen as annoyances to be screened out not people that might actually benefit their company.

 

[missy]

iLander, you have perfectly captured greedy corporate America. And I agree. I think it is much more difficult to find a job today than in the past. In many professions across the board. Not sure I would be able to successfully navigate the minefield that is the job market today. I feel for the young people looking to get ahead. It seems you need more and more degrees to just make a living wage.

 

[Indylady]

Yep, it is HARD. And things fare better for those that come from families that are well connected. I read an Onion article about an unpaid intern being granted a promotion: a second unpaid internship. It may have been this one, but the Onion has a few articles about unpaid internships: http://www.theonion.com/articles/fall-internship-pays-off-with-coveted-winter-inter,5975/

However (and this is no comment to you or any recent grads you know), some grads can be unrealistic about how their efforts will pay off; that makes the experience that much more disappointing. I usually tell students or new grads to apply everywhere--from coast to coast, and for everything, to network and go to every professional event possible, and to send out 20-30 applications per night. Its a full time job in itself, and definitely one that requires a dedication and a thick skin.

 

[JulieN]

I remember there was a thread in Hangouts, something like "what I wish I knew" or "what I wish someone told me" and it was all about work and how your job is to please your boss? If anyone remembers what I'm talking about, please post the link.

 

[kalomeli]

Truth be told... it's just exhausting trying to find work. There are plenty of good applicants and it's not uncommon to have a three-digit number of people applying for a single white collar job. It's very frustrating to hear time after time that (polite) answer telling that they don't want you. It kills your self-esteem because at the same time you need to get excited about the job but at the same time you're trying not to get your hopes up too much...

Yay, Kalomeli!! Good work! I need a thumbs-up emotie. Claps will have to do.

Thank you, JF! My interview is tomorrow!