What tells you the most about a person....

[galeteia]

Date: 6/20/2010 4:17:13 PM
Author: Haven
I''m really surprised to see the amount of people who are allowing this thread to bother them. It''s also very interesting how so many of you who are upset by this thread are assuming that when someone says your house says a lot about you, that someone is only concerned with the financial value of the house.

I think that the different ways people are responding to this question are very telling, actually. And I don''t mean that in a snarky way at all. It''s just very interesting that some people seem to automatically think of this question in terms of MONEY or FINANCIAL POSTITION, while others think of it in terms of HABITS or INTERESTS.

Oh, you''re right about that. I am SO SICK of people comparing home state = worth as a person.

I absolutely bristle when I hear BS about how tidy homes say a lot about a person because when I hear it, it usually comes along with other misogynistic flaming bulltwinkies about a woman''s role and the assumption that the state of the house/family/kids = responsibility of the WOMAN because GOD put WOMEN on this earth to be homemakers. ARGH! Did I mention I need to get the hell out of west Texas?

What my home says about me is that I can endure a terrible living situation while providing (OMG A MAN''S ROLE! BURN HER!) for MY partner. But damnned if it doesn''t make my blood boil when I hear woman at work trying to out-snark one another by talking about how they have such trials and tribulations keeping a godly house. Stuff a godly house. Stuff people who think that have a tidy house = a good person. I''ve seen some of their homes when they weren''t expecting company, and they were decidedly untidy.

That doesn''t stop them from spouting off about how they just HAVE to have a clean house, etc etc in some sort of a sick competition on who has the most ''womanly'' virtues.

There. My little "I am trapped in the Dark Ages" rant is over, and I feel a little better.

I do agree that what people chose to spend money on says a lot about them and what they value.

 

[Lynn B]

I'm with Haven; of the 3 choices given, I'd choose home. Definitely. Neat or messy, humble or a mansion isn't the point, and is still (IMHO) the best answer to the question of the 3 choices given. I was surprised by some of the responses in this thread, too, and personally, I never gave any thought to socioeconomic class, either, when I originally read rockzilla's question.

Who BTW, is gonna start givin' DF and Kenny a bit of friendly competition with the random questions, I wonder????!

 

[Steel]

Date: 6/20/2010 5:40:07 PM
Author: Lynn
I''m with Haven; of the 3 choices given, I''d choose home. Definitely. Neat or messy, humble or a mansion isn''t the point, and is still (IMHO) the best answer to the question of the 3 choices given. I was surprised by some of the responses in this thread, too, and personally, I never gave any thought to socioeconomic class, either, when I originally read rockzilla''s question.

Who BTW, is gonna start givin'' DF and Kenny a bit of friendly competition with the random questions, I wonder????!

***STOP PRESS***

Somebody has stolen your ''B''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I''m picking face, and by that I mean EYES. Eyes are very telling.

I''ve seen way too many people who buy fancy cars/homes to impress other people. My next door neighbor paid 3 1/2 times the amount we paid for our home and thinks WE SHOULD BE IMPRESSED because they paid so much. She doesn''t know husband and i laugh behind her back

 

[KimberlyH]

house. what books are on shelves, magazines are on tables, pictures are on walls, etc.

and if someone walked in my house right now they''d say it''s totally wacky, a mix of our stuff and the mark of the woman who we bought it from. my mother''s day gift, a painting of an alley done by a local artist, certainly doesn''t go with the gold and scarlet polyester curtains we''ve yet to replace; but you could learn a lot about us from looking at our house beyond our worth (and my husband does most of the cleaning so all messes should be blamed on him, not me and the baby).

 

[ksinger]

Date: 6/20/2010 5:29:34 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 6/20/2010 4:17:13 PM
Author: Haven
I''m really surprised to see the amount of people who are allowing this thread to bother them. It''s also very interesting how so many of you who are upset by this thread are assuming that when someone says your house says a lot about you, that someone is only concerned with the financial value of the house.

I think that the different ways people are responding to this question are very telling, actually. And I don''t mean that in a snarky way at all. It''s just very interesting that some people seem to automatically think of this question in terms of MONEY or FINANCIAL POSTITION, while others think of it in terms of HABITS or INTERESTS.

Oh, you''re right about that. I am SO SICK of people comparing home state = worth as a person.

I absolutely bristle when I hear BS about how tidy homes say a lot about a person because when I hear it, it usually comes along with other misogynistic flaming bulltwinkies about a woman''s role and the assumption that the state of the house/family/kids = responsibility of the WOMAN because GOD put WOMEN on this earth to be homemakers. ARGH! Did I mention I need to get the hell out of west Texas?

What my home says about me is that I can endure a terrible living situation while providing (OMG A MAN''S ROLE! BURN HER!) for MY partner. But damnned if it doesn''t make my blood boil when I hear woman at work trying to out-snark one another by talking about how they have such trials and tribulations keeping a godly house. Stuff a godly house. Stuff people who think that have a tidy house = a good person. I''ve seen some of their homes when they weren''t expecting company, and they were decidedly untidy.

That doesn''t stop them from spouting off about how they just HAVE to have a clean house, etc etc in some sort of a sick competition on who has the most ''womanly'' virtues.

There. My little ''I am trapped in the Dark Ages'' rant is over, and I feel a little better.

I do agree that what people chose to spend money on says a lot about them and what they value.

Good grief woman, where are you working?? I live in Oklahoma, and I''ve never heard anything like THAT. If I did, I think I''d be laughing my head off - quietly of course. I thought I''d heard it all, but I (thankfully) missed the "godly house'' cant. You poor thing. Spend a bit of time feeling sorry for THEM. They need the pity and it''ll make you feel a bit lighter. Can you imagine how awful to be raised thinking that housekeeping is all you are good for and talking about it all the time? Sad.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Hmm... I can answer this in two ways.

1. How they treat their mothers/fathers/sisters and brothers.
2. How you feel in their home. Like the PP said, it doesn''t matter if the house is big/small, clean/messy.What matters in my opinion is how welcome they make you feel.

 

[Haven]

Galateia--Rant on! I can''t believe you even know people who think like that, let alone people who ADMIT to it. My condolences. (And I mean that seriously, I now find myself worrying about coming across as being snarky when I''m actually being genuine.)

Come over to the education field. It''s dominated by women. You''ll never hear anything about tidy homes at work if you join us, I promise!

 

[Lynn B]

Date: 6/20/2010 5:44:42 PM
Author: Steal


***STOP PRESS***

Somebody has stolen your ''B''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, how ''bout that???! Pretty snazzy, huh? Thanks to Miss Ella, I''m now just "Lynn"!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Date: 6/20/2010 8:26:27 PM
Author: Lynn

Date: 6/20/2010 5:44:42 PM
Author: Steal


***STOP PRESS***

Somebody has stolen your ''B''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, how ''bout that???! Pretty snazzy, huh? Thanks to Miss Ella, I''m now just ''Lynn''!

??? How come?

 

[Lynn B]

No good reason, really

... the subject came up in a recent thread and honestly, I just often wondered why I registered years ago as LynnB instead of just "Lynn" (my preference) and I asked Ella if it wouldn''t be too much trouble to change it, and she did!

 

[rockzilla]

Rockzilla checking back in...really interesting to see the variety of responses here.

A few people seemed curious, so I''ll let you know the origins of the question and how I was thinking about it. I''ve just moved back to SoCal for the summer, and the other day I remember seeing this guy driving this HUGE loud ridiculous truck and thinking "ugh, what a jerk." He didn''t cut me off or anything, but being the environmentally conscious person that I am, and that it was a gleaming pristine truck very obviously not being used to haul yard waste, etc, I made certain assumptions about the driver and his priorities and attitudes.

Being the introverted (and introspective) person that I am, I then questioned myself: is it fair to judge someone just on what car they drive? When you don''t know anything else about them? I''ve often found myself making snap judgments about people based on their cars (almost always when it is a new car -- there are so many more potential variables involved with older cars) -- if someone has a brand new BMV, you think something different than if they are driving a Prius or a brand new Hummer (sorry Hummer owners, I am NOT a fan).

As I was asking myself if it was fair, I thought -- would it be more "fair" to judge someone on their face? On one hand, cars are a pretty superficial indicator of a person, but at least, most of the time the person has CHOSEN that particular car (from within whatever budget they have) and often chosen it because it somehow reflects them and/or their lifestyle. For most people (celebrities and OC housewives excluded), they are born with their face -- and outside of makeup, it does not reflect their own personal choices so much as the genetic hand they were dealt. Also, many times I have imagined someone had a certain personality based on their face, and after getting to know them I was proven entirely wrong

As for house, I threw it in as a third option, because I thought just "face" and "car" were too narrow and random-sounding And, your house is often a much more private place than the face or even the car you show to the world, so I thought it fit in nicely.

Obviously, you can tell a lot more about a person by actually TALKING to them and spending time with them, but my original question was more related to the assumptions and judgments we make in the situations where we have very little true information.

 

[isaku5]

Personally, I''ve learned not to look at the superficials like face, house or car. I watch how children and animals act around them. You can''t fool either, in my opinion.

 

[hihowareyou]

Interesting question.

I find I make most of my judgments about a person based on the choices that they make. So generally (with the exception of makeup, piercings and plastic surgery) people don't choose their faces. Of course we choose our expressions but they tell you more about how a person is feeling in that moment than the type of person they are over a period of time.

A house and car are composed of so many choices that I think you can determine a lot about a person from them and I don't mean in simplistic terms such as 'clean house = good wife' or 'big house = successful (things that I don't necessary agree with). I think the choice of objects, brands, amount of things, who they are bought for, etc can reveal a lot about what people value, where their insecurities lie, what they enjoy, which side of politics they lie on, etc. A house (well a home) is such a complex construction of choices.

I try not to let my observations of people's houses/cars form permanent judgments (particularly negative) before I get to know someone but sometimes choices speak louder than words. For example, in Australia I think the choice to put a 'f--- off we're full' sticker on the back of a car tells me all that I ever need to know about that person.

 

[gemgirl]

Date: 6/20/2010 8:53:28 PM
Author: Lynn
No good reason, really

... the subject came up in a recent thread and honestly, I just often wondered why I registered years ago as LynnB instead of just ''Lynn'' (my preference) and I asked Ella if it wouldn''t be too much trouble to change it, and she did!

Oh.So.Cool!!!! Now you''re like Cher and Madonna. LOL!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I know I''m really late to this thread, but remember reading a book a little while ago. I think it was Blink? Anyway, one of the main points of the book is that people are very good at making accurate snap decisions about people. One of the experiments they did in the book was have people peruse through a stranger''s stuff (in their house) for 15 minutes, then writing a description of that person based on what they found. The result was that the description of the person was overwhelmingly accurate.