What should the bf say if he really can't afford a $35k E-ring?

[Dancing Fire]

The gf said...that's my dream E-ring pointing at this $35K ring in front of a jewelry store window.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

I can't afford that right now darling, maybe one day when my ship comes in.

That's what my husband said and that's what I would say.

 

[Snowdrop13]

“Let’s get on Pricescope and see if we can get the same thing for a whole lot less”

 

[dk168]

You are not worth that much, sorry!

DK

 

[missy]

He should be honest and say honey we cannot afford that ring but maybe one day. I want to give you everything your heart desires and if I could I would give you the world. I give you my heart as that is my most precious thing to give and I love you with my entire being. Stick with me girl and we will conquer the world with our love.


And then he should bring her here and we will find her the ring of her dreams for what they can afford.

 

[the_mother_thing]

“Let’s wake you up and find something more relative to reality and my wallet.”

Kidding of course.

He should be open, honest & direct that his budget doesn’t support that right now, but maybe down the road ... and she should accept that. But if she pushes, pouts or nags, then maybe she only wants a ring and not a marriage, and he should reconsider his choice in life partner.

 

[Tekate]

Dream ring. If they are marrying and she doesn't know he can't afford 35K on a ring then they have a few problems anyway.

If they somehow don't then he should mention the cute little car they need for that money.

 

[AV_]

If such conversation is taking place, I'd know what is fun to ask.
I do not see how to think of it in general.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Dream ring. If they are marrying and she doesn't know he can't afford 35K on a ring then they have a few problems anyway.

Yep, exactly!!!!

Just want to add: I'm perfectly aware of our joint financial situation, but I've still told my DH a few times "ohhhhh loooooooook, this oec+omc tiara (to the tune of 180 k) is my dream piece of jewelry". .. Which is perfectly common, I'd think. Just sharing my taste with DH. No expectations to find that piece under the Christmas tree anytime soon... He does the same thing with Aston Martins occasionally. So we're both in the loop if we win the lottery

 

[junebug17]

He should be honest and say honey we cannot afford that ring but maybe one day. I want to give you everything your heart desires and if I could I would give you the world. I give you my heart as that is my most precious thing to give and I love you with my entire being. Stick with me girl and we will conquer the world with our love.


And then he should bring her here and we will find her the ring of her dreams for what they can afford.

@missy, this is perfect! Every guy in a serious relationship should print this out and memorize it, just in case he needs it

 

[Dancing Fire]

You are not worth that much, sorry!

DK

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

"Lets talk about our finances and our future when we get home and see if we can afford it." Hopefully the GF will decide on her own that it is out of their budget.

 

[Ladygrey]

He should say 'yeah, that's really beautiful!' and then *keep on walking*. When he actually wants to propose, then they can have a talk about budget..... Worrying about budget before you want to propose is just borrowing trouble!

Of course, the other option is to say 'if I ever meet a man who could afford that ring, I'll be sure to introduce you'. That should solve several problems at once!!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I hate these scenarios when the girl is so clueless as to what is realistic. In this case, the guy absolutely needs to say that he hopes maybe someday he can get her one like that, but for now, his max budget is $5k or $10k or whatever. Then he needs ideas of settings she likes for smaller stones. This is a recipe for disappointment if both are not on the same page.

 

[AV_]

@Dancing Fire Does the number mean anything?

 

[wordie89]

This is what my 11 yo nephew said to a girl who said she needed a LV purse. First, he had to ask his mom what an LV purse was! Then he told her, "Youre worth it but I don't have that kind of money." Thank God he is in serious relationship with wonderful woman who has her feet on the ground.

 

[lyra]

These days it's the ring or the house, usually. It's that way where I live, anyway. I'm a practical person. I'd say, give me a budget and we'll work it out. But in my case, I just knew what the budget would be and stayed within it. Maybe girls who ask big get big, I wouldn't know, lol.

 

[vintageloves]

I'm sure my dream e-ring is 35K, too. That doesn't mean I actually expect to ever have that. There's nothing wrong with window shopping and dreaming.

 

[tyty333]

The gf said...that's my dream E-ring pointing at this $35K ring in front of a jewelry store window.

That's lovely dear...how about a smaller version?

 

[lambskin]

Then he should point out a $35K car and say that's what he wants for a wedding present from her.

 

[tyty333]

Then he should point out a $35K car and say that's what he wants for a wedding present from her.

touché

 

[Dancing Fire]

@Dancing Fire Does the number mean anything?

Should it?

 

[Matthews1127]

My ultimate DREAM E-ring is well over $35K.
I set the budget for my ER. It’s a mini version of the grandmama I dream of...lol!
I’d like to think he could chuckle & tell her she can keep on dreamin’, and then surprise her with a smaller version of the one she pointed out, later.
That would be more realistic, and throw her off, if he was actually considering proposing.
Anyone who has been in a long-standing relationship knows what the financial straits are in that relationship. Expecting someone to go into debt before entering a marriage is asking for a life of disappointment & is inviting misery.
Get what you can afford, now. Go bigger, when you can afford it.

 

[arkieb1]

The gf said...that's my dream E-ring pointing at this $35K ring in front of a jewelry store window.

Depends how much he earns, like if he is an established lawyer or tech giant that looks like a tramp but can actually really afford it then fine, if not then he clearly needs to come here to see how he can get her a similar look on a much cheaper budget.

 

[bludiva]

In this scenario she's just commenting, she's not asking or demanding for it I assume so he should ask what makes it her dream ring to get some info on what he should look for (is it the shape, the setting, the design, the color, etc) within whatever his budget is when the time comes.

 

[GliderPoss]

He should carefully take note of the ring - style, stats etc then come to PS to find a version he can afford!

 

[AV_]

Should it?

The question changes meaning with different numbers, 35K is not little & not outrageous, so it still looks like a request (10K - even harder prodding!); 10M would be kidding, etc.

Thinking out loud

 

[PintoBean]

@Dancing Fire will pay for it! (Since he opened this can of worms)

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Honesty is the best policy. That way, either party can get out while the getting’s good.

 

[canuk-gal]

DF: 35K posts/revival of the same (type) questions on PS....and good on ya since retread summer TV starts...