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What r u suppose to say...?

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iheartbora

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 17, 2008
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220
What r u suppose to say when people ask you and your SO "when are you guys getting married"?


Don''t you notice the more couples around you get married the more you get asked?

SO and I went to a wedding recently and when asked, he said "I don''t know"!!! Then there was this awkward silence then chuckle... Isn''t it kind of embarrassing?? The annoying thing is, we DO know...argh! I told SO afterward that I ddin''t like his answer because it sort of makes me look dumb
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
iheartbora, I can understand how that would frustrate you when you and your SO have talked about in length and most likely have a legitimate answer to the question.

What I said was, "I don''t know, ask D," when anyone asked me anything proposal/engagement/wedding related. When they asked him he''d say something along the lines of, "in due time."
 

laughwithme

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
667
You should say whatever you want to say, in my opinion. I am very honest, and give enough detail to "suit" that person''s place in my life - whether its "hopefully by summer!" or "we have talking about a wedding next June, so hopefully by this June." B gives much less detail - "one of these days..." simply because he isn''t the kind of guy to go on and on about it. You may find that it helps to keep people off your back if you say, "hopefully by XYZ date."
 

princesss

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2007
Messages
8,035
I alternate between "Never," "I''ll get around to it," and "Why buy the cow?" I hate people asking those questions. We''re still several years away from anything major, so it at least doesn''t hit a nerve for me. I just laugh about it. BF usually says, "Eh, I don''t like her that much yet." We know that it''ll happen when we''re ready. What other people think/want to know/decide is their business doesn''t really concern us, so why give them a serious answer?
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
I liked to say,

"When he asks."

"When we want to."

"When we''re 40."

Etc.

But I''m a bit of a smart butt. Just wait until they start asking when the wedding is, and in the next breath, "When are you going to have kids?"

You don''t want to hear my answer for that one...
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
311
It depends who''s asking, but if it''s someone with whom I don''t feel comfortable sharing the details FF and I have discussed, I usually tell them something along the lines of "We don''t feel a need to rush right now." I don''t like sending them to FF for information, because I know that the constant pressure stresses him out.

FF has answered before that it will be "sometime after he buys a ring" as a joke. Which backfired when one of his aunts pulled off her ring and tried to give it to him, saying "Okay, you have a ring, now ask her!"
 

PrincessLily2009

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
96
I don''t understand how people can be comfortable asking people about the details of such personal matters, but whatever.

My typical response to any undesired question is to respond with, "I don''t know," or, "I haven''t thought about it," and then quickly ask the other party a question about themselves.
 

NakedFinger

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
690
UGH! I SOOOOOO know what you are talking about iheartbora. I dont know if you had seen my thread on that awile back....but the ladies gave great feedback:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/those-that-have-been-with-bf-for-a-really-long-time.106639/

I've been with my FF since HS, so we are both BBBEEEYYYOOONNNDDD fed up with the questions! LOL I love when people would ask me too...like I am supposed to know exactly when HE plans on proposing or something. I would just say "Ummm ask him" or "whenever he decides to ask". Even my mom was getting fed up with people asking "soo is she engaged yet?" and she'll say "believe, if she was you would know!"


Before we decided to design the ring together, it was REALLY annoying, because I honestly had NO idea when it was happening, so even if I wanted to give them an answer, I couldnt you know? Now I at least know he has the ring, so it is coming soon, but I still dont want to tell anyone cause I want it to be a surprise.



Date: 3/28/2009 2:33:26 PM
Author:iheartbora
The annoying thing is, we DO know...argh!
You say you do know when, are you in the same boat as me?
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
3,899
i just usually say "ask E" or "5510" if eric is around becuase he''ll just roll his eyes and laugh at me. he does not get my desire to get married on that that, and i dont see how he doesnt understand.. (btw my birthday is 1212..so..yeah. its a number thing
)
 

choro72

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
1,867
Date: 3/28/2009 2:33:26 PM
Author:iheartbora
What r u suppose to say when people ask you and your SO ''when are you guys getting married''?


Don''t you notice the more couples around you get married the more you get asked?

SO and I went to a wedding recently and when asked, he said ''I don''t know''!!! Then there was this awkward silence then chuckle... Isn''t it kind of embarrassing?? The annoying thing is, we DO know...argh! I told SO afterward that I ddin''t like his answer because it sort of makes me look dumb
You''re supposed to say "April 19th 2009, 2:09PM". At least that''s what I would say.
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,659
If you already know when you are getting married why is it embarrassing for people to ask? They are going to find out anyway.
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
3,881
Just smile broadly and say, "I know! The suspense is so exciting, isn''t it!", then change the subject.

the guy version = He winks and says "I know! The suspense is exciting, isn''t it!", then changes the subject.


You can be gracious and blow people off at the same time.
 

LaraOnline

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
3,365
People are concerned about your happiness and future well-being.
They probably know it puts your boyfriend on the spot, a little, and they probably don't care.

Modern cultural practices means that older people have to sit and watch girls dating without a clear direction ... it's meant to 'all work out' in the end...often they know the girl would really prefer more certainty.

But of course, it is not 'politically correct' to even publicly acknowledge that! so it comes down to jokes, and gentle teasing...

I wouldn't worry too much about people being curious, most of the time it's likely to be motivated by love and interest in you.

Laugh it off! Or confide, if you choose.
 

dec2410

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
499
i just got home from a dinner where we were asked this same question a twice. my usual answer is to just stare at my bf and say "ask him!" hahaha. then he just laughs.

what i''ve been saying more lately is...."eventually". cuz it''s true! hahaah.
 

supergirl10

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 21, 2008
Messages
315
I hope i can still add my piece here because as a former LIW i use to hate this question with a passion. I mean i'm a typical women, if i had been in charge and organising it, it we would have been engaged yesterday lol!

I also use to get this a lot. Normally i would just say, "Oh i don't know" or "maybe you should ask S" or something along those lines. But after a few years i really use to tick me off.

My FSIL's BIL's gf (what a mouthful) use to ASK all the time, I often use to think why is she so interested but I know now she just wanted to make sure she was first. Finally after like the zillion time of someone asking me in the month, she asked and i said "I don't want to get married, I don't believe in marrige,so never!" Man you should have seen the look on her face, it was priceless! She has been nasty to me for the entire 5 years we haved dated, caused dramas between myself and FMIL and I really have no respect for her.

When she found out we got engagaged last year she got really really angry! Her SO came up to S and said (jokingly) thanks mate, now im in the s**t cause I haven't proposed and you guys have dated for a little bit less than us!
 

iheartbora

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 17, 2008
Messages
220
Date: 3/28/2009 3:09:49 PM
Author: princesss
I alternate between ''Never,'' ''I''ll get around to it,'' and ''Why buy the cow?'' I hate people asking those questions. We''re still several years away from anything major, so it at least doesn''t hit a nerve for me. I just laugh about it. BF usually says, ''Eh, I don''t like her that much yet.'' We know that it''ll happen when we''re ready. What other people think/want to know/decide is their business doesn''t really concern us, so why give them a serious answer?
I like this! Certainly will try to make a joke out of it
 

iheartbora

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 17, 2008
Messages
220
Date: 3/28/2009 4:33:21 PM
Author: NakedFinger
UGH! I SOOOOOO know what you are talking about iheartbora. I dont know if you had seen my thread on that awile back....but the ladies gave great feedback:


https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/those-that-have-been-with-bf-for-a-really-long-time.106639/


I've been with my FF since HS, so we are both BBBEEEYYYOOONNNDDD fed up with the questions! LOL I love when people would ask me too...like I am supposed to know exactly when HE plans on proposing or something. I would just say 'Ummm ask him' or 'whenever he decides to ask'. Even my mom was getting fed up with people asking 'soo is she engaged yet?' and she'll say 'believe, if she was you would know!'



Before we decided to design the ring together, it was REALLY annoying, because I honestly had NO idea when it was happening, so even if I wanted to give them an answer, I couldnt you know? Now I at least know he has the ring, so it is coming soon, but I still dont want to tell anyone cause I want it to be a surprise.




Date: 3/28/2009 2:33:26 PM

Author:iheartbora

The annoying thing is, we DO know...argh!
You say you do know when, are you in the same boat as me?
Naw...we are still in the ring search stage!! Hopefully I'll be in the same boat with you real soon! LOL


Ummm..and actually, we don't really know KNOW exactly when we want to get married, but we know for sure shortest will be one year and longest will be two... depending on our career plans which keep on changing due to various factors. In any case, I'm just happy we both want to make the commitment right now (SO kept on saying he is running out of time...
)
 

LaraOnline

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
3,365
Date: 3/28/2009 11:19:28 PM
Author: supergirl10
My FSIL''s BIL''s gf (what a mouthful) use to ASK all the time, I often use to think why is she so interested but I know now she just wanted to make sure she was first. Finally after like the zillion time of someone asking me in the month, she asked and i said ''I don''t want to get married, I don''t believe in marrige,so never!'' Man you should have seen the look on her face, it was priceless! She has been nasty to me for the entire 5 years we haved dated, caused dramas between myself and FMIL and I really have no respect for her.
erk! she sounds like a handful!
With regard to questions to contemporaries, it never occurred to me that peers would really ask! I guess that really shows the kind of slackers and non-committal types that I used to hang around... no-one in my peer group EVER brought up the subject of marriage (except to diss it)!!
 

Porridge

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
3,269
Whenever we feel like it! Seriously, I don''t know where people get off asking these questions.
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
I always said... "I dont know, ask XXX" but I am pretty good at putting people on the spot!
but... that said, if we were both together, I think I would say "When the time is right.."or what kim H said. It just depends. I didn''t get asked a lot when I started being more vocal about being a LIW... that certainly stopped people from asking q''s.
 

Dreamgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,070
I went to a 100 year old's birthday party (family friend) last weekend and her son-in-law asked me when me and my longtime boyfriend were gonna get married. To brush him off I said "I dunno. Maybe in a couple years." But I still got annoyed by it. lol My Mom was next to me and she told him "Your an instigator!"
 

LtlFirecracker

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
4,837
I usually say "I don''t know, while I am looking over at BF." Than he gives some sort of vague answer. The last time we were asked it was "sooner rather than later." But things have changed since he got laid off. Actually, no one has asked since that has happened, which I think is a good thing.
 

fieryred33143

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
6,689
Depending on who asked, I would either say "eventually," "we''re working on it," or make a joke about it. One time at a family dinner (his family) his aunt asked and I said "he''s narrowing down his choices. I made him some spaghetti last night so I think I''m back in the running." They all had a good laugh over it especially since we had been together for so long.
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,674
No one asks us, but if they did we''d say when we can afford to have the big wedding.
 
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