What mistake will you never make again?

[missy]

I should have gotten a pre nup when I first got married at 23. I knew there was a chance for divorce and I should have protected myself. The financial pain and agony over what I had to give him has always been worse than the emotional. And I was so drained from the divorce, I couldn't fight for myself because I probably wouldn't be alive today if I did, and unfortunately had awful lawyers (that's another story). Anything legal is just a nightmare because I am ignorant in anything legal and it's so hard to trust anyone. Anyway, it's over I am alive and it's over. That is my biggest regret. I also should have divorced in the first few years. I don't regret the relationship, a lot of love was there and I take responsibility too in the demise of the marriage. I didn't have skills then that I now have. I just would have imagined the worst person ever doing the worst things ever and behaving awful during the divorce and design a prenup on that! That's what I should have done when I first got married. I will not make that mistake again. It's a bit somber and dark and I'm sorry. I wish someone had given me the harsh reality of how bad a person can be and to protect myself. I behaved soo nicely in the divorce. I even wrote a thank you note to his lawyer. Who does that? I wanted so badly to divorce and no one to think poorly of me. But damn I wish I had had a brain back then and I would have the fought tooth and nail and not paid him a penny. I was very naive. This is still painful and still haunts me. I just remind myself of other positive things and that gets me through. Thank you all for being there and listening. A lot more came out than I thought. This is healing. And I know others have gone through worse and my heart goes out to you.

Dear @bling_dream19 I am so sorry for what you went through. You probably know what I am going to say. You did nothing wrong. You loved with all your heart and soul and trusted the man you thought was your soulmate and true love. You are guilty of nothing. And you learned from that experience and that is what counts. Not what happened but what is going forward. And this time in your life is magical. Marrying the love of your life with hard earned wisdom and you are having a happy present and even happier future. Sending you big hugs and wishes for a wondrous life filled with love and peace and joy.

 

[missy]

My first knee the wrong implant insert was put in and we reoperated at 1 year. I also get severe post surgical depression and by 7 weeks I was suicidal ( honestly) from all the problems. This time we knew exactly what to doo right, bumped my antidepressant up for a few weeks before. At three weeks I’m amazing. This surgery is no joke so give him all the sympathy he needs, he is not being dramatic. Knee replacement is literally hell The first few weeks. Good luck to him! PT is no joke either but it will be at least a year before he appreciates what he has done.

@AprilBaby ugh I am sorry you went through such an ordeal! Glad you are doing so much better this time around and that your knee is on the way to a full recovery. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Best wishes for continued easy recovery this time. Now that the hard part is over.

No worries about me taking what Greg says seriously. He is not the typical male and if he complains about pain I know it is intense as he just sucks it up generally. He needed complete knee replacement over a year ago but put it off due to various reasons. And he just did what he had to do through the pain. So I know if he says something about the pain I need to take notice and pay attention. When he gets sick he rarely utters any complaints and he just does what he has to do and gets through it. Thank goodness he isn't the typical male. I lucked out.

Thank you for your good wishes!

 

[missy]

im sad to read that
my mum thought i was the worst kid out - i mean honestly if she had known the kinds if things my cousin's were getting up to
she was always complaining about me - to everybody - im pretty sure most people knew i was the furthest from being a bad girl that one can get
but i had zero fun most of the time

in the next life I'll look out for you and we'll have some real fun

Daisy, I am very sorry. What the heck was wrong with your mother.
Just knowing you from this brief time here I can safely say she was completely wrong. And as your mom she should have known better. I am so sorry. And I hope you are making up for lost time and having lots of fun along the way. Life is hard yes. But we make the most of it and as adults we can do better than as children in that we have earned our knowledge the hard way. Making the best of each day and each moment and doing the best we can. That saying stays with me...we can make a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven. May we all experience more joy and love than sadness and heartache and may we all have peace in our lives. (((Hugs))).

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Daisy, I am very sorry. What the heck was wrong with your mother.
Just knowing you from this brief time here I can safely say she was completely wrong. And as your mom she should have known better. I am so sorry. And I hope you are making up for lost time and having lots of fun along the way. Life is hard yes. But we make the most of it and as adults we can do better than as children in that we have earned our knowledge the hard way. Making the best of each day and each moment and doing the best we can. That saying stays with me...we can make a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven. May we all experience more joy and love than sadness and heartache and may we all have peace in our lives. (((Hugs))).

thank you Missy
its weird i just wrote you a reply on the thread where you had butternut soup and the darn internet ate my reply ! boo hiss
this is my fun and my emotional crutch

Dam it - ive finally found the smilies but they won't work

 

[missy]

thank you Missy
its weird i just wrote you a reply on the thread where you had butternut soup and the darn internet ate my reply ! boo hiss
this is my fun and my emotional crutch

Dam it - ive finally found the smilies but they won't work

Daisy, try hitting the back button and seeing if you can find the post. Sometimes that works for me. Or go to history and you can occasionally recoup it there.

As for the smilies I cannot use them on my mobile devices (ie my iPhone) but the smilies work for me on the laptop...are you on a laptop or phone or some other device?

ETA: Off to clean so not around for a bit. Yup this mistake is the mistake that keeps on giving. And giving and giving and giving....

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

wishing i could come and help you

 

[stracci2000]

thank you Missy
its weird i just wrote you a reply on the thread where you had butternut soup and the darn internet ate my reply ! boo hiss
this is my fun and my emotional crutch

Dam it - ive finally found the smilies but they won't work

He is gorgeous. And look at that turquoise cuff bracelet! So hot!

 

[MamaBee]

LOL smart girl. Honestly it didn't really affect us too much (the book) because Greg refused to let it haha. It is revealing and insightful and you just have to take the knowledge and make smart decisions. If one eats out one has to realize there is much not in our control. Gotta let it go.




Haha I just wanted to share the gif. LOVE it.

Haha...I knew it..but now I have to read it! I love that GIF too!

 

[MamaBee]

I haven't had the perfect life, and I've made my fair share of hefty mistakes (basically my 20's), but there isn't anything I would change because I love my life today. That said...

I wouldn't have tanned in high school and would have started wearing sunscreen daily YEARS ago.

Me too @Wewechew...I baked in the sun during my teen years. I got a great color tan..not brown because I’m very fair...I would use baby oil on my skin and Sun In in my hair to lighten my blonde hair. All that sun worshiping kept unknowingly damaging my skin, I moved to Texas in 1985...I had a pool and would bake there under that hot sun. 1990 I got Melanoma...The doctors said six more months and it could have been very bad. I had a large scoop taken out of my leg..but knock wood that’s behind me! Bling sisters..wear sunscreen please...

 

[whatamilookingat]

What a journey and kudos to you for making it through and thriving. I am so sorry for all you endured. Please don't beat yourself up over and over about the "lost" years. You have now and are making the most of it and got through the most challenging time and experience and lived to tell about it and to go on and enjoy this precious time with your family. Every single moment now is what counts. You made it through. (((Hugs))).

Thank you Missy.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

He is gorgeous. And look at that turquoise cuff bracelet! So hot!

he sure does knows how to rock the jewlery !!

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

Ugh, I am sorry Sandy. But I am a hopeless romantic and while you have been burned before and I agree with you that it's hard to trust most people, you can never say never. And you just never know when your soulmate and true love will come along. It can happen. Not all (but yeah lots of) people suck.

In the meantime however you are enjoying your life and loving each moment and that is everything. And all the good you do for the animals. Well, I think you know what I think of you Sandy. You are AWESOME and you rock girl.

Thank you @missy darling, I feel the same about you! You're a doll and made my day!

 

[OreoRosies86]

I wouldn’t have left college the first time! It was such an uphill battle for education once I was away from the cozy scholarship-paid confines of my dorm room. It made life so much harder. I wish someone had pulled me aside and said “None of this other stuff matters, just get your degree and leave, you will never have to see any of these people again!”

We can’t go back though, and my life now is wonderful despite the many years of setbacks and false starts.

 

[bling_dream19]

I am learning from you all and thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate your kind words @missy and @Mamabean and @Austina I couldn't look into the future and I did the best I could at the time. I was so naive. I feel sometimes sad that most of the innocent naive part of me is gone but I'm older and wiser. And I am super grateful to be engaged and marrying the man I love.

 

[Sunstorm]

I have always said that I don’t regret anything in my life and I mean it. I have made many mistakes in my life and will surely make more but my life was what it was because of those “mistakes”, so were they really mistakes? They were Choices. I would also never have the wisdom I have today without them.
I treat others really the way I would want to be treated. If I ever feel that I do anything not ok unintentionally, I always correct the situation until things are the way they are supposed to be.

So I could think of one regret where I was never able to correct the situation. Never ever have an animal died because of me but I left for several trips and Stella my “favorite” Aby girl developed FIP. She suffered six months before I let her go. I blame myself for her death and for not being there. It is not something I can ever fix or forgive myself for. Some 7 years later I Still have nightmares, it is a little better but every one of my beloved cats’ death does such a number on me that is worse Than any pain I can ever experience from a person, jerk guys whatever I had to deal with in my life.

 

[missy]

I have always said that I don’t regret anything in my life and I mean it. I have made many mistakes in my life and will surely make more but my life was what it was because of those “mistakes”, so were they really mistakes? They were Choices. I would also never have the wisdom I have today without them.
I treat others really the way I would want to be treated. If I ever feel that I do anything not ok unintentionally, I always correct the situation until things are the way they are supposed to be.

So I could think of one regret where I was never able to correct the situation. Never ever have an animal died because of me but I left for several trips and Stella my “favorite” Aby girl developed FIP. She suffered six months before I let her go. I blame myself for her death and for not being there. It is not something I can ever fix or forgive myself for. Some 7 years later I Still have nightmares, it is a little better but every one of my beloved cats’ death does such a number on me that is worse Than any pain I can ever experience from a person, jerk guys whatever I had to deal with in my life.

Dear @Sunstorm ((((hugs)))).
You and I are so much alike in ways. Especially with the animals. And bling. You’re a kindred spirit and I’m privileged to call you my friend. XO. And please forgive yourself. You gave your beloved furbabies everything. You did the best you could and in the end that’s all anyone can hope and ask for.

 

[missy]

I am learning from you all and thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate your kind words @missy and @Mamabean and @Austina I couldn't look into the future and I did the best I could at the time. I was so naive. I feel sometimes sad that most of the innocent naive part of me is gone but I'm older and wiser. And I am super grateful to be engaged and marrying the man I love.

So thrilled for you @bling_dream19 and yes the past is over and you have so much to look forward to and so much joy right now. (((Hugs))).

And believing in the best in people is a wonderful trait. Don’t beat yourself up about that. You’re a wonderful person bling and I’m grateful we met each other and are friends.

 

[bling_dream19]

So thrilled for you @bling_dream19 and yes the past is over and you have so much to look forward to and so much joy right now. (((Hugs))).

And believing in the best in people is a wonderful trait. Don’t beat yourself up about that. You’re a wonderful person bling and I’m grateful we met each other and are friends.

Me too I am SUPER happy we are friends! Hugs to you. Going to focus on the joy right now because there is lots! Thank you for being you because you are marvelous Missy for sure. My fiance has noticed I'm happier with all my bling friends on PS. And I do the same when talking to my fiance @Mamabean I'll mention something to him about something great on PS and he loves all the handle names. Have a wonderful Wednesday to all!

 

[Sunstorm]

Awww thank you dear @missy!!! I am honored to be your friend! Surely we are kindred spirits and I know we will have a blast when I come to visit! But I must say you forgot one of the most important things we have in common... coffee in the morning. No one should underestimate the importance of coffee!

 

[asscherisme]

Get married! My marriage is hard to view as a full mistake because I have my kids. But I definitely used poor judgement in who I married. I date now, but will never get married again.

 

[asscherisme]

I am so sorry for what you have been through. I just don't understand when families do this to each other. My ex-husband poisoned my adult son against me. He and I were so close, and I had primary custody because of abuse. When my son turned 18, my ex told him lies upon lies and my son believed him and now hates me. My ex tried the same thing with my 20 year old daughter and she stopped talking to him and she and I are closer than ever. So, my ex then poisoned my son against her too. My oldest has estranged himself from me and my daughter and it is really painful. I don't think I will ever get over it, or understand how one parent could use their child against the other parent.