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What is the most brainless thing your spouse has done?

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swimmer

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In an attempt to not throttle or mercilessly mock my DH, I just need to get this off my chest. He submerged the crockpot. Yup, for some reason he decided it wasn''t clean and submerged and then soaked it in hot soapy water. I think the warnings against doing this are printed on the thing in four languages. He is a scientist! I estimate, with life expectancy in the US being what it is, that I have more than four decades more of this. Love him, love that he was "trying to help," but grrrr.
I''m hosting a pot-luck crockpot supper Sunday for 12 people. Thank you for this very silly vent, perhaps you have one of your own.
 

mia1181

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My DH is a scientist too and sometimes I wonder! He can be pretty ditzy at times! I''m sure I could list examples, but the first one that came to mind was when he burned the palm of his hand on the heating element at the bottom of the dishwasher.
It was horrible! Apparently he dropped a fork and didn''t know it got hot down there! And not only is my DH a scientist, but he is super handy. He could probably fix the dishwasher if it broke, but sometimes he does things without thinking.
 

Miranda

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Sometimes I want to knock on my hubby''s head to see if there is an echo!
I hope he isn''t lurking being that it is VERY close to Valentine''s Day! He is a wonderful man and good at so many very important things, but, sometimes..........Well, I won''t go into detail, but, let''s just say he''s earned the title of *cat killer* in the past.


Hahaha - soaking the crockpot. That''s pretty funny!
 

deegee

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This isn''t the most brainless thing hubby has ever done, but it''s fresh in my mind since it happened yesteray. He was refilling the windshield washer fluid in his truck yesterday morning before we left for work and noticed the battery was really corroded. He made a mental note to get a new battery on the way home. Did he mention it to me, or suggest taking my car? Noooooo. So instead of picking me up at 5:30 to go home at the end of the day, he called to say his truck wouldn''t start. A co-worker tried to jump the battery, but that didn''t work either. They had to go to the co-worker''s house to get tools, go buy a battery, and install it in 10 degree weather. I was stranded at work for a few extra hours. I guess that beats installing the battery in the freezing cold! He''s a chemical engineer, but sometimes I swear he doesn''t have a clue about practical things.
 

MichelleCarmen

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I''m not sure about the most brainless ever, but often times when I send my DH to the store with a small list of food items to pick up, he misses items on the list. He''ll be given a piece of paper with 10 items and he comes home with 8!
 

Haven

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He got up from my mother''s dinner table once the meal was done and went to relax on the couch.
The first time he was over to her house for a meal.

Mama was not impressed.
 

HollyS

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The single most ''brainless'' thing he has done in his life happened before he met me. He not only fell for some panhandler''s line of BS, but went to an outdoor ATM -- WITH THE PANHANDLER -- to get some cash to hand over to this guy.


He''s lucky he is: still alive, wasn''t robbed, forced to withdraw the maximum.

I think my response to this story was, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???!!!"


His occasional dopey husband silliness pales in comparison to that spectactularly stupid move.
 

MichelleCarmen

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Date: 2/7/2009 11:24:07 AM
Author: HollyS
The single most ''brainless'' thing he has done in his life happened before he met me. He not only fell for some panhandler''s line of BS, but went to an outdoor ATM -- WITH THE PANHANDLER -- to get some cash to hand over to this guy.
That is absolutely crazy! When I was in high school, my friends and I went into Seattle and gave some money to a pandandler and he got up and chased us down the road!
 

diamondringlover

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My husband had a few beers and totally tore up my kitchen, he wanted to see if we could put a ceiling fan in, the next thing I knew the ceiling was torn down (it was a false ceiling) after this it took up many thousands of dollars and almost 4 years to put the kitchen back together again
 

Libster

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Oct 21, 2004
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998
Does anyone remember the "sweater shaver" thing that came out many years ago?
Well hubby saw it one day and didn''t know what it was but attempted to shave ear hair off with it
He is lucky he only had scrapes and didn''t have to have stitches! I must admit I did laugh because he nevers does things like this
 

fisherofmengirly

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Haha, Swimmer. I have one similar!!

My husband is a teacher and during his summer break, he tries really, really hard to make dinners for me so they'll be ready when I get home from work. This always means random phone calls during the end of the day (where's the carrots, how long do you cook pasta, etc.). Well one day I get this call from him almost frantic and he's the most level-headed person out there, saying he's worried that the rice steamer is broken because it smells like hot plastic and fire, and is that normal? I asked him if he put any water in the container and he sort of sighs and says, "Oh, steam would require water, wouldn't it?"

I love my husband!!!


He didn't ruin the steamer, as it was just starting to warm up, but the man's a SCIENCE teacher.

I still tease him about that day. It was so funny!

***
Sorry about your crockpot! Ours is one of my favorite and most used appliances. I would probably cry if Paul let ours "soak."
 

Haven

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Fisher--that''s HILARIOUS. Oh, my.
 

JSM

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These are great! I was wondering if my husband to be did some stupid things due to his lack of formal education... but no, it seems he does them because he is a man.


He was upset with me recently because he couldn't find any clean towels, then went on a rant because we had no towels!! And did he need to buy towels because we clearly never had any when he needed them!

I calmly pointed to the stack of neatly folded linens... about two feet behind him to the left, near the entrance to the bathroom.

... silence, then, "how long have those been there."

Me: "about two years."

Him: *stares straight at the ground, grabs a towel, and gets in the shower*
 

Selkie

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 11, 2006
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Swimmer, you should know that scientists are terrible at reading instructions! At least the ones I work with are.
Is the crock-pot dead? Hope your dinner goes OK!

Mine usually has his head on pretty straight, but there were definitely times during our recent move I was ready to kill him. He was being stubborn more than brainless, but rather than sorting out and trashing stuff (junk) at the old place, he threw most of it into boxes so we ended up transporting it to the new house where it''s taking up the entire garage.
 

onedrop

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Aug 24, 2006
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I can''t think of one brainless thing DH did, but there is one thing that happens a lot that I don''t understand. DH will ask me if we have something, like for example, ketchup. I''ll tell him to look in the fridge. He will look in the fridge for maybe a second and if the ketchup bottle doesn''t catch his eye right away, will proclaim that we don''t have it. Then I go to the fridge to look, and lo and behold there is the ketchup sitting right behind the milk carton! This happens nearly every week with something or another. Is this a man thing??? LOL
 

trillionaire

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Apr 18, 2008
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These are so priceless. I''m not married, but I swear, SO really makes me scratch my head sometimes. He lives four hours away from me, but when he can''t find something in HIS house, even things that I never touch, like his hair brush, he calls to ask ME where it is. And the sad thing, is I ALWAYS can tell him exactly where they are.


I seriously wonder how men manage themselves without women. The seem to lack even a basic understanding of soooo many things. And I love him to death, but sometimes...


I can''t think of a specific example right now, but there have been MANY. I''ll post if I can think of them.
 

Babyblue033

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Date: 2/8/2009 12:26:29 AM
Author: jsm
These are great! I was wondering if my husband to be did some stupid things due to his lack of formal education... but no, it seems he does them because he is a man.


He was upset with me recently because he couldn''t find any clean towels, then went on a rant because we had no towels!! And did he need to buy towels because we clearly never had any when he needed them!

I calmly pointed to the stack of neatly folded linens... about two feet behind him to the left, near the entrance to the bathroom.

... silence, then, ''how long have those been there.''

Me: ''about two years.''

Him: *stares straight at the ground, grabs a towel, and gets in the shower*
LMAO!!!! OMG that is SO something my DH would do!

Date: 2/8/2009 11:55:04 AM
Author: onedrop
I can''t think of one brainless thing DH did, but there is one thing that happens a lot that I don''t understand. DH will ask me if we have something, like for example, ketchup. I''ll tell him to look in the fridge. He will look in the fridge for maybe a second and if the ketchup bottle doesn''t catch his eye right away, will proclaim that we don''t have it. Then I go to the fridge to look, and lo and behold there is the ketchup sitting right behind the milk carton! This happens nearly every week with something or another. Is this a man thing??? LOL
That must be a man thing.

My DH goes one step further. Whenever we go grocery shopping and whenever I say we need to buy something he would say "we already have that". And then he would tell me we need to buy something else because we ran out. What amazes me is that it''s ALWAYS exactly the opposite and whatever he says we have we don''t, and whatever he says we don''t have we do!
It''s like something got crossed wired in his brain!
 

Babyblue033

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Wow literally seconds after I read and posted on this, DH comes back from dropping off a birthday present for his mother. I asked him if anyone was home and he says no, and that he LEFT THE PRESENT OUTSIDE THE DOOR
$400 worth of presents and he felt that it was ok to just drop it off in front of their door and leave them a message that it''s there. OH.MY.
 

iwannaprettyone

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Put an Arby''s Roast beef sandwich in the Microwave for a couple of minutes and walked away- turns out he set the time for 20 minutes instead of two and left the foil wrapper on.
Needless to day we had to replace the microwave and leave the windows open for a week!
 

zoebartlett

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Date: 2/8/2009 11:55:04 AM
Author: onedrop
I can''t think of one brainless thing DH did, but there is one thing that happens a lot that I don''t understand. DH will ask me if we have something, like for example, ketchup. I''ll tell him to look in the fridge. He will look in the fridge for maybe a second and if the ketchup bottle doesn''t catch his eye right away, will proclaim that we don''t have it. Then I go to the fridge to look, and lo and behold there is the ketchup sitting right behind the milk carton! This happens nearly every week with something or another. Is this a man thing??? LOL
My husband does this too.

This isn''t a brainless thing but it''s annoying anyway. I''ll work hard to clean the living room or the kitchen, for example, and then he messes it up again almost immediately and doesn''t clean up after himself. Right now the living room is a mess, and I JUST cleaned it last night. It''s very frustrating!
 

Clairitek

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Date: 2/8/2009 11:55:04 AM
Author: onedrop
I can''t think of one brainless thing DH did, but there is one thing that happens a lot that I don''t understand. DH will ask me if we have something, like for example, ketchup. I''ll tell him to look in the fridge. He will look in the fridge for maybe a second and if the ketchup bottle doesn''t catch his eye right away, will proclaim that we don''t have it. Then I go to the fridge to look, and lo and behold there is the ketchup sitting right behind the milk carton! This happens nearly every week with something or another. Is this a man thing??? LOL
Yes, between my FI and father they have managed to convince me that this IS a man thing. Sorry to the guys out there reading this thread. In my family we call this way of "looking" for stuff the "boy''s look." When FI can''t find something in the fridge I ask him if he had a boy''s look or a girl''s look, where you actually move stuff around to look for what you need. He hates it but it does make him laugh.
 

Courtneylub

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Being pregnant, food is really important to me right now. I have DH pick up Chick-fil-a for dinner every so often and he KNOWS what I like, but tends to forget something every time! Once I told him "don''t forget the honey mustard and the ice cream cone". He came home with it and low and behold, no honey mustard and cone. He said "the lady said she put the honey mustard in the bag!" and when I asked about the cone he said "well, i thought they put it in the bag."

Another time he forgot my fries and when I asked why they weren''t there he said "you said you didn''t want them". I NEVER said that. LOL
 

Octavia

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A few weeks ago, I heard my FI talking on the phone about a business trip he was planning to take...over our wedding weekend. So, when he got off the phone, I casually asked him where exactly he was planning to be on the day of our wedding. He stopped short, gave me this look where his eyes got all wide and his mouth literally dropped open, and then said, "um...not taking this trip. Getting married. To you." Somehow, he didn''t comprehend that if he left on the 8th and came back on the 13th, the 11th would be included in the business trip, and he swears that if he had heard the actual date, it would have registered. I dread to think what would have happened if I hadn''t been here when he was on the phone!
 

onedrop

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Reading through this thread has brought a little humor to my day, thanks all!


Clairitek: thanks for clarifying the "boy-look" and "girl-look" thing. I will definitely have to clue DH in on the differences. I heard a woman in an elevator talking about the exact same thing and realized that I am not crazy. And here Zoe, Babyblue and Clairitek have re-inforced that this behavior is a man thing. This is a great thread!!
 

April20

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Mine has done all sorts of things....

The latest- didn''t really listen to me as I told him that I was ordering the wall mount for our TV, but that I wasn''t rushing it as it cost almost as much to buy it local when you added the rush fee. What he heard was that I didn''t buy it. I got home from a work trip four days later to find our TV mounted. Yes, it''s nice he got it done. Yes, its the perfect mount. But his cost $275 and mine cost $100. Mine was ordered online. Sure I can return it, but i''ll cost me $40 to ship it back! I''ve got it listed on Ebay right now to try and at least recoup my out of pocket expenses without having to pay for shipping.

He''s done a lot of other crazy stuff, but that''s the latest.
 

pennquaker09

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Nov 2, 2007
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Mine gave my child Pepsi mixed with water. Keep in mind he''s a pediatrician! I couldn''t understand what was going through his head and his reply was, "A little bit won''t hurt."
 

Brown.Eyed.Girl

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Date: 2/8/2009 1:19:42 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone
Put an Arby''s Roast beef sandwich in the Microwave for a couple of minutes and walked away- turns out he set the time for 20 minutes instead of two and left the foil wrapper on.
Needless to day we had to replace the microwave and leave the windows open for a week!
lol this thread is too funny! IWPO, I have to sympathize with your SO though - I''ve done the "put Arbys sandwich in microwave with foil wrapper on" before!

It seems to be a trend of guys not being able to find things. I swear, BF will ask me at least once a day where something is, and the answer will usually be along the lines of, "yes honey it''s on the dresser where it always is..." (and he asks me where things are when he''s actually standing in front of the dresser!)
 

Erin

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He called my cell to see if I wanted anything from Subway. I told him exactly what I wanted on it and he got it right and then absentmindedly ate it on the way home.
 

NewEnglandLady

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Date: 2/9/2009 12:21:54 PM
Author: Starset Princess
He called my cell to see if I wanted anything from Subway. I told him exactly what I wanted on it and he got it right and then absentmindedly ate it on the way home.
Hahaha, this is hilarious, Starset! Love it!

I''d say the only brainless thing my husband has done is marry me


I can definitely relate to you, Onedrop, because my husband can''t find anything that isn''t right in front of him. My father is the same way and my mom used to tell him that apparently having ovaries gave her better eyesight. I make the same joke to my husband when he can''t find something. He''ll say "Hon, I don''t see it, do you think your ovaries can find it?".
 

AllieLuv83

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I am seriously cracking up at all of these posts. The most absent minded thing that drives me crazy is when he asks me to repeat myself like a million times. I send him to the store for milk, bread and coffee filters and tell him this hes like OK got it, then he comes upstairs and is like "What was that we needed again" so I tell him AGAIN but he will no doubt ask me once more for those items.
 
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