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What is the biggest mistake you ever made?

So much to choose from! Wrong major, wrong fiance (although I ended that), sending my son to kindergarten just after he turned 5 - the list goes on.

@Tekate I hear you. My son is my testoster-clone and he's in med school at my urging. And doing well, fortunately.
 
@doberman Wow, you keep him in school, we need more young doctors.. testosterone driven is GREAT!!!

OMG I sent my first son to kindergarten at 4 and 11 months, I asked my sister, who was a teacher at the time and she said NO DON'T DO IT!!! and I asked my MIL who was a 1st grade teacher at the time and she said, no, not a good idea.. then I called Wake County Schools, and my son's kindergarten teacher was also the lead kindergarten teacher so they had her call me and she asked to speak with my son, after talking with my boy all of 6 minutes I got back on the phone and she said, He's just fine, just fine, he will be fine in kindergarten, he's ready, so I sent him.. Biggest mistake ever for him.. I must say his brother 4 years younger we held out, he was a month younger and still made the NC cutoff, mistake there too, because big brother spent his time telling little bro he was stupid because mommy and daddy held him out, when we REALLY held out little bro because big bro so struggled!!!! but we couldn't say that, so I told my younger son, your brother made that up!

kids !!!

doberman said:
So much to choose from! Wrong major, wrong fiance (although I ended that), sending my son to kindergarten just after he turned 5 - the list goes on.

@Tekate I hear you. My son is my testoster-clone and he's in med school at my urging. And doing well, fortunately.
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definitely career direction was a big mistake.. too many other emotional things here to post. :cry: but some of the mistakes have pushed me to become someone that I didn't think I would be and for that I am proud of myself.. . but these mistakes add greatly to my high stress level.
 
@bludiva well said! and true!



bludiva said:
I tell myself it's too late for so many things I want to do and I have to keep reminding myself that the time is going to pass anyway, so how do I want to spend it? :mrgreen:
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Tekate said:
@doberman Wow, you keep him in school, we need more young doctors.. testosterone driven is GREAT!!!

OMG I sent my first son to kindergarten at 4 and 11 months, I asked my sister, who was a teacher at the time and she said NO DON'T DO IT!!! and I asked my MIL who was a 1st grade teacher at the time and she said, no, not a good idea.. then I called Wake County Schools, and my son's kindergarten teacher was also the lead kindergarten teacher so they had her call me and she asked to speak with my son, after talking with my boy all of 6 minutes I got back on the phone and she said, He's just fine, just fine, he will be fine in kindergarten, he's ready, so I sent him.. Biggest mistake ever for him.. I must say his brother 4 years younger we held out, he was a month younger and still made the NC cutoff, mistake there too, because big brother spent his time telling little bro he was stupid because mommy and daddy held him out, when we REALLY held out little bro because big bro so struggled!!!! but we couldn't say that, so I told my younger son, your brother made that up!

kids !!!
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It's actually pretty funny because my son is so much like me, we all laugh at it, hence the testoster-clone.

My son and daughter have birthdays three years and two days apart. I sent her at 5 and I didn't want him to feel that I was holding him back by not sending him at the same age. BIG mistake. I always knew it was October because the teacher would call.....

There's something about boys and their organizational skills. My son had none, and his grades reflected that. When he got national merit I wanted to kill him.

I should have sent him to kindergarten at age 17.
 
I have been thinking about this and I really haven't made any big mistakes (none that I can think of right now). I am happy with my career choice, my choice of partner and other big choices in life to date.

So the only mistake I have made is trusting certain people and allowing them into my life and being friends with them who it turned out were not trustworthy or friend worthy. But you could say that wasn't a mistake because I would rather be open and trusting then closed and hard. And I live by the motto fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. I won't become hard and closed to people but rather I do learn from mistakes and do not make them again.
 
The kindergarten thing is interesting. My older son (he’s 7 now) is the youngest in his class. His birthday is about a month before cutoff. My MIL didn’t want us send HER BABY to kindergarten so young. He’s fine. In fact, he’s doing great. Now, my younger son, who turned 5 in February...I doubt his kindergarten readiness.
 
I have tons of things I regret, but mistakes are harder. Every choice leads to a path and eventually that path is a whole map of your life. I feel just fine about where I ended up, so I can't imagine changing any one thing. It could be a butterfly effect, you know?
 
I have a couple things but in the long run they led us to where we are now so that is a good thing, I guess. One was moving to the mountains. The kids loved it, they all love to snowboard. But so many awful things happened when we lived there. But, if we hadn't lived there we wouldn't be living where we are now.
The second thing, would be the fateful conversation with a couple who had been looong time friends, 'Oh we should get the kids together to hang out'. Said friend turned out to be a nightmare that I didn't see coming. I am amazed that neither of us had a clue and were so blindsided. But, the kids are married and happy and grand baby #2 is due June 19th so how can I regret that either? But I can't even count the days that DH and I have looked at each other and wished we could go back and do that moment over.
 
lyra said:
I have tons of things I regret, but mistakes are harder. Every choice leads to a path and eventually that path is a whole map of your life. I feel just fine about where I ended up, so I can't imagine changing any one thing. It could be a butterfly effect, you know?
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Agreed. That's why I was curious about mistakes vs regrets which could (and often are) different. But they can be the same too for sure. I agree that often "wrong" turns take us where we are happy to end up so yeah all mistakes are not bad per se. If a mistake is a regret that can be changed I am all for changing it. So for example if one regrets what they feel is their mistake at not finishing or going to graduate school (as an example only for illustrative purposes of what I am explaining) then I say go ahead and go back to school. I don't feel it is *ever* too late if one still has a passion or yearning for something and feels it was a mistake. If they can make it right for them I say go for it. Life is too short not to change what you can change if you want to change it. Does that make sense?

You know that wise saying: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference"
 
luv2sparkle said:
Said friend turned out to be a nightmare that I didn't see coming. I am amazed that neither of us had a clue and were so blindsided.
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Yes had something similar happen to me. Sometimes you just cannot know or see it coming. At other times in hindsight you can realize there were clues along the way that we chose to ignore. People can be strange and scary. Sorry you know this feeling all too well.
 
Isn't it funny... well, not funny, that you asked your loved ones for advice, which was great advice, and you went with the advice of a perfect stranger!! Why do we do that.
 
@missy, you are right. There were definitely clues. Some we just missed and some things we just let go, and chocked them up her personal quirkiness. It all changes and comes out though when you share children and now grand children. Sad thing is, I was so happy about it at first. I couldn’t imagine anything better. That is the definition of a huge mistake, LOL.
 
luv2sparkle said:
@missy, you are right. There were definitely clues. Some we just missed and some things we just let go, and chocked them up her personal quirkiness. It all changes and comes out though when you share children and now grand children. Sad thing is, I was so happy about it at first. I couldn’t imagine anything better. That is the definition of a huge mistake, LOL.
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Same here. I even realized some of the clues but other parties were involved and I allowed myself (my fault entirely) to be influenced by one of our mutual friends to let it be for the sake of the group. That was my biggest mistake. Not listening to my gut and not going with what in my heart I knew to be true.
Out of such mistakes though I definitely believe we can learn and grow. If I could do it all over again I would do this example differently but since I cannot I take from it a few valuable lessons. One of them being I need to always listen to my gut and go with my judgment. My radar is pretty good. Not perfect though but in the cases where I know something *is* amiss I must listen to myself and go with that.

So from some mistakes we can learn and grow and that is a big part of life. Mistakes allow us to learn what we want and need from life and allows us to grow. Mistakes allow us to accept that we are imperfect beings doing the best we can and we learn to be OK with that. So I guess even from mistakes we make and maybe because of them we go on to live full happy lives.
 
hahaha! I know sons. My older son, took Calc 1 and II at the same time in college.. BUT in a class of 723 students back in 05 he was number 652. truth.. his SATs were above average but nothing to speak of - compared to little bro... he's just like ME. I hear you.

My boys are 4 years and 12 days apart.. end Sept first week in Oct. Mr ADD went at almost 5 little bro at almost 6.. wish I could have reversed that but I was always doubting myself.. Ms ADD.

Peace and thank you for sharing.. you made me feel I wasn't the only one.. with our sons!

Kate




doberman said:
It's actually pretty funny because my son is so much like me, we all laugh at it, hence the testoster-clone.

My son and daughter have birthdays three years and two days apart. I sent her at 5 and I didn't want him to feel that I was holding him back by not sending him at the same age. BIG mistake. I always knew it was October because the teacher would call.....

There's something about boys and their organizational skills. My son had none, and his grades reflected that. When he got national merit I wanted to kill him.

I should have sent him to kindergarten at age 17.
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Hola! I couldn't check like because that made it look like I liked you didn't go to college. But I I understand, choices we make, whether financially affecting our lives - or just something we should've done affect us. I hear you.


diamondringlover said:
Not going to college.
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Great question!!! I think a few things.. as we all don't know each other in real life (per se some do) and getting others opinions is something I have always done, or their ideas etc.. we have no preconceived notions really about each other :)

Gem Queen said:
Isn't it funny... well, not funny, that you asked your loved ones for advice, which was great advice, and you went with the advice of a perfect stranger!! Why do we do that.
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Tekate said:
hahaha! I know sons. My older son, took Calc 1 and II at the same time in college.. BUT in a class of 723 students back in 05 he was number 652. truth.. his SATs were above average but nothing to speak of - compared to little bro... he's just like ME. I hear you.

My boys are 4 years and 12 days apart.. end Sept first week in Oct. Mr ADD went at almost 5 little bro at almost 6.. wish I could have reversed that but I was always doubting myself.. Ms ADD.

Peace and thank you for sharing.. you made me feel I wasn't the only one.. with our sons!

Kate
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Oh man. ADHD...that was what my son had and I'm sure that contributed to his issues. We didn't want to medicate him so I began taking him to skate in the mornings at 6am which did seem to help. Everyone knew he was my son so they let him on the freestyle session with hockey skates.

It is heartening to hear that others share your pain lol. Sorry for the threadjack!
 
If I had been a different person when I was young, I would have been able to do things differently. But I had to have the experiences in life I did in order to grow into who I am now. I may not be very smart or wise or brave now, but compared to what I was before I had experiences (and learned from them), I am currently a genius! So every time I think of the thing that I wish I had not done (and they are huge things, absolutely huge) I realize that I would have been unable to do it back when I had to make the decision as to whether to do it or not.

I keep thinking, "Too soon old and too late smart".

Deb :))
 
Hi,

Since we all would agree that we make mistakes, I have been thinking of mine. I have come to almost the same conclusion as Deb. I did not often have a choice in the event, so I can't say it was a mistake as I don't see that I had a choice. It may have not turned out well, but I too would not have been able to change things back then. The only way I would have been able to change things is if I knew then what I know now. Sometimes I was plain stupid. Sometimes I wasn't strong enough. Sometimes I had no experience. So, in some ways I was carried along in life, although most say we make our own lives, but we are not clairvoyant, and do not always see the future. I'm not really sure its a mistake. Yes, we learn, and perhaps we are supposed to.

Wow, I never thought so many people tried to get their kids into kindergarden early. My sister-in-law forged a birth certificate for her youngest daughter, and I was an accomplice. Her daughter has done very well. In fact my oldest niece, who was considered the smart one has not done at all as well as this youngest niece. I'm admitting to crimes on here, but it wasn't a mistake.

Annette
 
For me I think mine is not going to the military right after getting my 4 year degree. I could've been over halfway through my first term by now x.x but at the same time if I had gone my husband and I might not be together now so I try and remember that. Although him having to salute me would've been pretty amusing. I tell him he should be very glad I didn't go lol

My biggest mistake today?
Calling emergency services by accident with my armpit x.x
 
Staying alone with a stranger that was maybe at most an acquaintance, under the influence.
 
I really agree with Missy about being too trusting. Made that mistake and paid for it, big-time. Like her, I'm not closed to people, though. I recognize that others are not those people, and always remember that there are very good people out there.

Regrets:
Went into the wrong career because it paid better than my dream career, and hated it. Am in my dream career now, but am far behind where I would have been if I'd just followed my dream in the first place. However, I'm so happy in my job now that it almost doesn't matter. I do the job for the love of it, not the money.

Married someone who had no respect for me, and never would have, even if I'd cured cancer. I don't think it was personal; I don't he'd have respected anyone he'd married. He was just that arrogant type. He also came from a really nasty family, and I thought he was different. Big mistake.

Things I Got Right:
In the end, anyone who has severely disrespected me or let me down badly, including my former in-laws and husband, was thoroughly called out and left in no doubt exactly what I thought of them. It was colorful; there was scene-setting, villagers, minute-by-minute playback of exactly that they'd said and done, and they really were left in no doubt that I wouldn't *ss on them if they were on fire. It was completely exhilarating to live so authentically, and I haven't looked back. I'd rather be all alone in the world than surrounded by *******s.

I learned about myself that I can keep my mouth shut for a long time, but not forever.

I decided not to have children, which was the right thing for me and the right thing regarding the mess I married into. Not having children was convenient for only me - it greatly inconvenienced everyone who wanted grandkids, cousins for their kids, etc. It's probably my shining example of putting myself first.

I have stuck to my own moral code throughout some pretty fierce provocation - such as not sleeping with anyone else while married, keeping well away from people rather than engaging in petty warfare (except the times when this mouse roared, and once is generally enough for people to get the message), and trying to be kind and see others' side. I have not let any of the truly awful people I've been unfortunate enough to be close to color my view of humanity. I know full well that there are many wonderful people out there, and if you'd been around some of the people that I have, you'd know that thinking this way is a triumph.

Sorry for the term paper!!

J xxxx
 
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