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What happens when you finish your bucket list?

M

MRBXXXFVVS1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
Messages
1,450
Lately, I've been wondering what happens when you finish your bucket list?

I am very fortunate and thankful that I've had the opportunity to achieve most everything I've wanted - career goals, life goals, traveled extensively, volunteered hundreds of hours, intense dedication to hobbies, and been able to purchase everything I've wanted within reason.

Should I just relax and enjoy the feeling of being content? Look for new things to add to my bucket list? For most of my life, I've been so focused on achievement, it's a big shift. I am enjoying the feeling of doing nothing, cooking and baking more, and spending more time with friends and family for now. Part of me constantly thinks about health and time as our most valuable assets, so how should I be spending my time? I want to make the most of it!
 
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Perhaps enjoy your relaxing time and a new item will appear in your bucket? Or not.

Your comment sounds familiar to me. I’ve done everything I ever imagined...and more. I find down time uncomfortable and a little unnatural.
Something in me wants more.
 
You die.

After all, isn't a bucket list things you wanna do before you die?
 
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I don't have a bucket list.
 
AV_ said:
This applies:


Time is beautiful, or so I feel.
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Truth.

My only goal (call it a bucket list if you wish-I’ve never thought of it as such) is to grow old with my dh in as good health as possible, mind and body. That is what I wish before we die. And that we die at a very old age having lived and loved to the max.
 
MRBXXXFVVS1 said:
Lately, I've been wondering what happens when you finish your bucket list?

I am very fortunate and thankful that I've had the opportunity to achieve most everything I've wanted - career goals, life goals, traveled extensively, volunteered hundreds of hours, intense dedication to hobbies, and been able to purchase everything I've wanted within reason.

Should I just relax and enjoy the feeling of being content? Look for new things to add to my bucket list? For most of my life, I've been so focused on achievement, it's a big shift. I am enjoying the feeling of doing nothing, cooking and baking more, and spending more time with friends and family for now. Part of me constantly thinks about health and time as our most valuable assets, so how should I be spending my time? I want to make the most of it!
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I only have a f*ck it list. :lol:

I was going to say a new hobby but you seem to be over that. I would love to hear about your hobbies!
 
I don't keep bucket lists. I have the same goal as @missy. I value my relationship with my DF as the most precious thing in my life. This way, at any point I can kick the bucket and be able to say I've lived my life to the fullest the way that I wanted to. I'm a firm believer in Esther Perel's quote that more than anything, "the quality of your relationships is what determines the quality of your life."

That said, I do enjoy keeping up with what's going on in scientific research. Machine learning and big data don't interest me, because you glean what you can from those patterns, but it's kind of brute-forcing information processing capabilities. I enjoy trying to understand the world, both from a biological-genetics and a history point of view. I think that there's a lot of what we know about the world that should be overturned with the evidence that's emerging from applying science to discoveries of the human past.
 
I treat a bucket list as a list of things I would like to do before I die. That does not mean I would be able to do everything on the list before I die.

Therefore, the likelihood of me ticking everything on my bucket list is very low.

DK :))
 
Maria D said:
I was going to say a new hobby but you seem to be over that. I would love to hear about your hobbies!
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I used to ski/snowboard a lot, around 30 days/season (even with a demanding full time job)! I was able to explore dozens of resorts. I loved the sport, being outside, and the culture. Sadly, I got injured and had knee surgery with a difficult recovery (physical therapy 2-3x a week for 2 years) and haven't skied or snowboarded since. I loved the sport, but it's not worth the risk to me anymore given how dangerous it is and the impact the injury had to my quality of life.

I also am a foodie, so I redirected my energy for active hobbies into food related activities. I've taken a lot of cooking classes, weekend trips to eat at award winning restaurants, and collected hundreds of cookbooks and bottles of wine.

I previously also had other sports and arts related hobbies. Maybe I'm too intense with my hobbies that I either run out of runway, check off all/enough of the boxes, and get bored? Most of my life I've been achievement oriented and tried to fit as much as I could into my schedule.

Now I'm trying to relax and enjoy the little things like a beautiful sunset, flowers that are in bloom, being kind to people, philanthropy, etc.
 
Goals is what keeps you alive. As long as you have new goals and are working on achieving them you will go on. I have seen too many people crash once they ran out of goals, things to live for and work towards actively. A goal could be anything. Even a new bling project.:)))
 
Sunstorm said:
Goals is what keeps you alive. As long as you have new goals and are working on achieving them you will go on. I have seen too many people crash once they ran out of goals, things to live for and work towards actively. A goal could be anything. Even a new bling project.:)))
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Maybe some new goals will fall into my bucket!

I have been thinking about getting 3tcw MRB studs, but part of me wants DH to buy them for a milestone gift. I could buy them for myself, but it would happen so quickly and then that box would be checked. Sometimes it's nice to have things to dream about and look forward to!
 
Exactly to dream about and look forward! I think something existing can also be a goal, such as making your marriage the best it can be. And you can add small things even such as reading a new book or studying something new as a goal. You can be content where you have achieved most everything you wanted to achieve and still keep active, keep your mind active, enjoy life and fulfill the small goals you set yourself. Even a small trip can be a goal, something you never had a chance to do before because of time, family whatever the reason. As long as our bucket is not full, there is life in us.
 
This is coming from someone who has just lost the most important person in my life: spend as much time with the people who love you and don't get distracted by the surface stuff. Career goals, retirement goals, travel goals, bling goals...none of it really matters so long as you get time with the people you love, because you never know when that might be taken from you.
 
Sunstorm said:
Exactly to dream about and look forward! I think something existing can also be a goal, such as making your marriage the best it can be. And you can add small things even such as reading a new book or studying something new as a goal. You can be content where you have achieved most everything you wanted to achieve and still keep active, keep your mind active, enjoy life and fulfill the small goals you set yourself. Even a small trip can be a goal, something you never had a chance to do before because of time, family whatever the reason. As long as our bucket is not full, there is life in us.
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Well said! I can always focus on improving my marriage, friendships, health, etc! Been thinking about planting a garden and redecorating my house. Also been reflecting a lot on sustainability, the environment, those in need, and how I can help!
 
cmd2014 said:
This is coming from someone who has just lost the most important person in my life: spend as much time with the people who love you and don't get distracted by the surface stuff. Career goals, retirement goals, travel goals, bling goals...none of it really matters so long as you get time with the people you love, because you never know when that might be taken from you.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Well said, at the end of the day, people are all that matter.
 
my bucket list of travel is almost done, just have to go to Ireland. In life, I really wanted to be a grannie! and I am.. The rest, I'm on cruise control. You could add to your bucket list if you want to, always wanting to find love, peace, travel, money, time are always good options.
 
@cmd2014 I am sorry for your loss . ((Gentle hugs))
 
Tekate said:
my bucket list of travel is almost done, just have to go to Ireland. In life, I really wanted to be a grannie! and I am.. The rest, I'm on cruise control. You could add to your bucket list if you want to, always wanting to find love, peace, travel, money, time are always good options.
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@Tekate : Ireland holds such a special place in my heart. It's a magical, mystical, fun fun fun place. You need to go, especially since I READ your screen name with a distinct Dublin accent in my head every single time. ..very sharp irish "T" s, and the "a " like "ai"... (I can do a posh Irish accent pretty well for a German girl). spent a year at trinity college... So many great memories
 
Do you enjoy creating things? I get an incredible positive burst of energy when I'm making a surprise gift for a loved one, and then again when they receive the gift. Writing poetry, recording audiobooks, drawing or painting something, etc. with the other person in mind instead of thinking of it as a "hobby" for myself. Not everyone is the same. I personally love the process of creating.
 
I’m so sorry @cmd2014 , Every word you wrote is the truth. I hope things get easier for you soon. Please be kind to yourself. Hugs
 
cmd2014 said:
This is coming from someone who has just lost the most important person in my life: spend as much time with the people who love you and don't get distracted by the surface stuff. Career goals, retirement goals, travel goals, bling goals...none of it really matters so long as you get time with the people you love, because you never know when that might be taken from you.
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I am so sorry for your loss @cmd2014
{{{Hugs}}}.
 
cmd2014 said:
This is coming from someone who has just lost the most important person in my life: spend as much time with the people who love you and don't get distracted by the surface stuff. Career goals, retirement goals, travel goals, bling goals...none of it really matters so long as you get time with the people you love, because you never know when that might be taken from you.
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So sorry for your loss.
 
I hate the idea of a bucket list. I think i realized this when my best friend mentioned it and I had to really personalize the concept. It’s morbid. And it’s like putting a period on your life and experiences. I guarantee you that you have not done it all. If that’s the case, that’s pretty depressing Bc it’s like saying “I’m not open to new experiences. Been there, done that.”
 
Having a bucket list is a great motivator to do certain types of things while you can. Doing things on the list can be a really fun part of life where you get out there and experience new things and places and people then move to the next. But it's still only a part of life. Another important part is finding things to do that give you continuing and long-term satisfaction as well as a sense of purpose. For some people, this second part is easy and maybe even obvious. For others, it's harder to find. I've been in that second group, and it sounds like you might be too.

Cast a wide net or focus on something you're really good at or want to be really good at until you find what resonates and gives you a sense of fulfillment. I also think bucket lists can and should be supplemented. We all change over time. Our bucket lists should too. Mine will never be completed no matter how long I live because there's so much I'd like to see and do, and I like to dream big.
 
I'll never finish mine. Part A contains things that will make me happy but not necessarily touch my heart or soul -- travel, bling, and other superficialities. Part B contains challenges that will lead to personal growth and, with hope, help make the world a little bit better -- volunteering in any way possible to help those in need, learning a dying language, in general, contributing whatever time and energy I can on the local level to help those less fortunate than I.
 
@cmd2014 so sorry to hear of this loss, hope you are doing ok
 
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