What do you think about my sneaky plan!

Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.


Nov 4, 2005
Ok, so I have a small problem when it comes to my wedding!

The Guest List!
It''s a little out of control and more then where I would like for it to be- I say I because I am pretty much the only person paying for this wedding- therefore I have the concern!

My Fiance''s family, as lovely as they are, would like to invite the entire city. My goal was to keep the list under 175 and we''re at 220 and FI''s grandma just called to ask if she could put 10 more people on the list (with her that really means 30 people!)

So here is my plan...I had orginally thought that it would be best for me to send out Save the Dates to everyone on the guest list because our wedding is July 7th, a busy wedding weekend and close to a holiday. I think it might just be best for me to not send out Save the Dates and PRAY that everyone will have made plans to go out of town that weekend!

Do you think it will work?


Sep 21, 2006
if that''s your last resort, then give it a shot. STD cards are optional anyway, so not that sneaky to leave them out.

However, i think you may want to take an honest list at the guest list. Why is the FI family inviting all these people that you''d rather not have at the wedding? personally, i think if you are paying for the wedding, you should alott a certain # to each party (you and FI, each family) and give them some wiggle room, but ultimately it should be within your desired range. then you won''t have to play sneaky games to avoid people from being able to go!

Officers girl

Jan 16, 2007
Hmmmm why not just let them know how much it means to you to have a smaller wedding. I mean STD cards arent necessary so it wont be sneaky but they will probably call these people and talk about the wedding long before the date. Also I think that you should give them a certain number and anything over that they pay for, maybe them spending thier money could cut there list down a little


Jul 27, 2005
Do you have your venue selected? does it have a maximum capacity?

I chose our venue because the max it could hold was 200 people. I told my MIL that 200 was all we could invite- she asked about B list and I said "No, because 200 people means that we would be packed like sardines, so I would like to invite 200 and only have 175 or so come." She saw the light on that one.

I sent STD''s only to out of towners (really they are the only ones who need to make plans before the invites go out) and not even all of the out of towners at that.

It''s OK to tell them you have a budget and that the budget only allows for a certain # of guests. After the wedding when my MIL asked how many people we had (155) she said "Oh I thought you wanted more than that" and I said "Well the people who really mattered were there and it was nice to have bacon wrapped shrimp at the cocktail hour and filet and crab cake for dinner wasn''t it?"


Jun 29, 2006
it could work too well! I knew a family down in florida who had it that weekend and this was before ''save the date'' cards existed and only about 20 people showed up!

Ithink it''d be better to just put your foot down, talk to your fiance thugh and get his input.


Aug 8, 2005
Yeah. I was plotting to do that as well the first time. Here's the thing though... I opted to do that in combination with another sneaky thing. I told my family that the room/venue's maximum capacity (after I'd booked and placed a deposit so there was no talke of changing venues) was whatever I set my cut off for. So, for you 175. I told them that extra guests would either be a fire hazard, stuck in a separate (and ugly) room, or standing. That seemed to finally get though.

Second time, I didn't ask for lists. I told them that it was my way of the highway. I found that to be much better all around. Gonna do that this time too. Hopefully the thrid time will be a charm.
I'm getting REALLY good at this wedding planning stuff though.

ETA: I see that dtnyc already has the max capacity arguement covered. There is very little they can say to that one. You've already paid the deposit.
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results