What do you do when you want to PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE!

[megumic]

SLAM!

I promise I''m not a violent person. At all. But sometimes I get SOOOOOOOO heated and angry about something, that the only way to describe how angry I am is that I want to kick the C R A P out of someone! (Almost always someone specifically. Right now it happens to be FSIL.) UGHHHHH!

What do you do when you get this angry? How do you blow off steam?

I think I need one of these.

 

[PumpkinPie]

I would love one of those - I have at times thrown things

and sometimes scream into a pillow..
usually I end up overeating.. not the best approach!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Hmm... I don''t ever feel like I want to physically hurt someone, and as I''ve gotten older I''ve even calmed down quite a bit on feeling like I want to tell them what I really think (at least in the WAY I want to when I''m mad).

But what do I do when I feel at my most angriest? I find a way to leave and then I vent to someone impartial and get it out so I can go back and handle it more rationally later. I also get quiet when I''m pissed. And I tend to put everything back on the other person. "Whatever you want", to the extent that they get the hint.

Hmm... I''m not sure how to suggest dealing with actual rage though. Maybe you really should consider a punching bag or boxing bag. That sounds tongue in cheek but I''m serious.

 

[Circe]

I have that sort of rage sometimes. When I was younger, I would go off and vent by punching a wall or something: in retrospect, neither satisfying nor good for my knuckles! Also, drama-queeny enough that I feel a bit silly thinking of it. Now, I''m literally trying to count to ten/do deep breathing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn''t ... but either way, probably still better than punching anybody in the face! Again, bad for the knuckles, and also, probably for the conviction rate.

 

[jewelz617]

When I get seriously mad, I''ll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM
Author: PinkAsscher678
When I get seriously mad, I''ll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

This is me too; however, it''s really not a good thing when you''re angry and trying to make a point/statement and all you can do is sob.

 

[CNOS128]

Usually the only time I get that angry at someone is when they are intentionally trying to hurt/annoy/anger me. So, I try to talk myself down by reasoning that if I get upset, it''s only giving that person what they want -- and it''s my choice whether I take the bait.

But venting to a third party helps, too.

 

[iheartscience]

I think you should just go to her house, ring her doorbell, and when she answers, BAM! Punch her right in the face! That should do the trick.

If you don't want to actually punch her in the face, using a punching bag might be a good way to relieve your anger. Or maybe going for a run?

ETA I'm not sure it's entirely fair to start a thread about wanting to punch someone and then not telling us the juicy reason why. Sooo...spill it!

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 4/12/2010 9:27:30 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM

Author: PinkAsscher678

When I get seriously mad, I''ll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

This is me too; however, it''s really not a good thing when you''re angry and trying to make a point/statement and all you can do is sob.

If someone is making me angry (say at work, or a family member) I say what I have to say and walk away before it escalates, and I try to not say anything or do anything that will get me in trouble. No one has EVER seen me cry out of anger except my husband, and that was when I was 9 months pregnant and he forget to ask for no peppers on my flatbread sandwich. I thought we were talking about things we do in private? Like scream into a pillow or break a dish... I''d never just stand there and wail if someone was bothering me haha!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 4/12/2010 9:46:06 AM
Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 4/12/2010 9:27:30 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM


Author: PinkAsscher678


When I get seriously mad, I''ll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

This is me too; however, it''s really not a good thing when you''re angry and trying to make a point/statement and all you can do is sob.

If someone is making me angry (say at work, or a family member) I say what I have to say and walk away before it escalates, and I try to not say anything or do anything that will get me in trouble. No one has EVER seen me cry out of anger except my husband, and that was when I was 9 months pregnant and he forget to ask for no peppers on my flatbread sandwich. I thought we were talking about things we do in private? Like scream into a pillow or break a dish... I''d never just stand there and wail if someone was bothering me haha!

Well obviously I don''t do that either. My angry breakdowns occur at home in front of my husband. Unfortunately this also means when he and I have an argument there usually are tears shed. At work or in public it''s all internalized.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 4/12/2010 9:27:30 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM

Author: PinkAsscher678

When I get seriously mad, I''ll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

This is me too; however, it''s really not a good thing when you''re angry and trying to make a point/statement and all you can do is sob.

I tend to cry when really angry too - it can be pretty frustrating or really helpful

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 4/12/2010 9:51:32 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:46:06 AM
Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 4/12/2010 9:27:30 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM


Author: PinkAsscher678


When I get seriously mad, I''ll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

Well obviously I don''t do that either. My angry breakdowns occur at home in front of my husband. Unfortunately this also means when he and I have an argument there usually are tears shed. At work or in public it''s all internalized.

HH: I recall you saying this last week in the thread below "Pick fights? Who me???? Sometimes I feel the urge and I follow through with it, taking down the weakest link around at that time..."

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-ever-just-want-to-pick-a-fight.140264/

Your poor husband!

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 4/12/2010 10:06:03 AM
Author: Maevie

Date: 4/12/2010 9:27:30 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM


Author: PinkAsscher678


When I get seriously mad, I'll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

This is me too; however, it's really not a good thing when you're angry and trying to make a point/statement and all you can do is sob.

I tend to cry when really angry too - it can be pretty frustrating or really helpful

I wish I could be productive about it and exercise (real kickboxing/cardio) or something, but nothing gets it out of my system like a good sob fest.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 4/12/2010 10:10:08 AM
Author: canuk-gal

Date: 4/12/2010 9:51:32 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:46:06 AM

Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 4/12/2010 9:27:30 AM


Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM



Author: PinkAsscher678



When I get seriously mad, I''ll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

Well obviously I don''t do that either. My angry breakdowns occur at home in front of my husband. Unfortunately this also means when he and I have an argument there usually are tears shed. At work or in public it''s all internalized.

HH: I recall you saying this last week in the thread below ''Pick fights? Who me???? Sometimes I feel the urge and I follow through with it, taking down the weakest link around at that time...''


https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-ever-just-want-to-pick-a-fight.140264/


Your poor husband!

Woah holy personal attack there Canuck. What''d I ever do to you?

Where in that post did I state I picked fights with my husband? Do you really think I''d be married or even in a relationship if I did that? I was actually joking about my PS persona.

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 4/12/2010 10:16:46 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 10:10:08 AM
Author: canuk-gal

Date: 4/12/2010 9:51:32 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:46:06 AM

Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 4/12/2010 9:27:30 AM


Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM



Author: PinkAsscher678



When I get seriously mad, I'll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

Well obviously I don't do that either. My angry breakdowns occur at home in front of my husband. Unfortunately this also means when he and I have an argument there usually are tears shed. At work or in public it's all internalized.

HH: I recall you saying this last week in the thread below 'Pick fights? Who me???? Sometimes I feel the urge and I follow through with it, taking down the weakest link around at that time...'


https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-ever-just-want-to-pick-a-fight.140264/


Your poor husband!

Woah holy personal attack there Canuck. What'd I ever do to you?

Where in that post did I state I picked fights with my husband? Do you really think I'd be married or even in a relationship if I did that? I was actually joking about my PS persona.

not personal attack, HH---Your words in another very similar thread. Good to know it is a joke.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

You presented that thread out of context. The context being that I had just been told by a fellow PS-er that I liked to pick fights and I was a bully. Hence my comment about picking off the weakest link. Digging up old posts is dangerous when you don''t know what the eff you''re talking about.

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 4/12/2010 10:23:47 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
You presented that thread out of context. The context being that I had just been told by a fellow PS-er that I liked to pick fights and I was a bully. Hence my comment about picking off the weakest link. Digging up old posts is dangerous when you don''t know what the eff you''re talking about.

You are absolutely right.

 

[charbie]

i cry too.
in fact, sometimes i don''t know if my husband realizes how upset i am about something until i start to cry.
yes, i have used tears to get my point across to my husband and i totally am not afraid to admit it- attack away. it works, and he then realizes how upset i really am about something.

i am a very strong woman, but yes, when someone makes me super angry, the first thing that happens is i get tears in my eyes and then i''m upset with myself for crying bc it makes me then the weaker person. GRRRR.

however, when i really need to blow off some steam and it isn''t a "crying" type of anger, i remove myself from the situation and either take a walk or a drive.

 

[oddoneout]

I''m not a violent person either but yes sometimes people just annoy me/make me so angry that I want to punch them in the face. I stew about it for awhile then try to laugh it off and tell myself that the person is just being an idiot.

 

[monarch64]

I can''t remember the last time I became so angry I felt like hitting something or someone. I typically prefer to expel any wrath I''m feeling in written form, such as cleverly worded yet scathing emails.

 

[princesss]

In my last position, I would get really really angry and just want to flip out on somebody (oh, the joys of customer service), so I would go down to the gym, grab the punching bag, and beat the #$%*&^! out of it for 10 minutes. I always felt much better.

Mostly I find that some form of physical release - running, biking, swimming, punching, dancing, etc - is necessary for me to be able to go back to normal.

 

[Clairitek]

When I get to the point of being that angry I normally just sequester myself for a little bit or vent to a friend who I know won''t judge me for my urge to hit someone. I tend to have intense emotional reactions to some stuff but then I get over it fairly quickly so I know my anger will pass.

A punching bag might be a good idea though. Just make sure you get some gloves.

Date: 4/12/2010 10:10:08 AM
Author: canuk-gal

Date: 4/12/2010 9:51:32 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:46:06 AM

Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 4/12/2010 9:27:30 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/12/2010 9:23:12 AM

Author: PinkAsscher678

When I get seriously mad, I''ll cry. A good cry works wonders for my temper, and no one gets hurt.

Well obviously I don''t do that either. My angry breakdowns occur at home in front of my husband. Unfortunately this also means when he and I have an argument there usually are tears shed. At work or in public it''s all internalized.

HH: I recall you saying this last week in the thread below ''Pick fights? Who me???? Sometimes I feel the urge and I follow through with it, taking down the weakest link around at that time...''

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-ever-just-want-to-pick-a-fight.140264/

Your poor husband!

Gee, thats a little rude, no?

 

[jewelz617]

I recall reading somewhere that women are more prone to dying from conditions caused by internalized stress. So do what you have to do to let that anger out.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 4/12/2010 10:56:09 AM
Author: PinkAsscher678
I recall reading somewhere that women are more prone to dying from conditions caused by internalized stress. So do what you have to do to let that anger out.

I don''t mean to be contrary, but I''m not sure it''s better to get worked up and "let it out," or if it''s better to learn not to let yourself get that angry in the first place. I believe there''s some disagreement in the medical/ mental health community about whether "venting" is helpful or harmful.

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 4/12/2010 11:11:54 AM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 4/12/2010 10:56:09 AM

Author: PinkAsscher678

I recall reading somewhere that women are more prone to dying from conditions caused by internalized stress. So do what you have to do to let that anger out.

I don't mean to be contrary, but I'm not sure it's better to get worked up and 'let it out,' or if it's better to learn not to let yourself get that angry in the first place. I believe there's some disagreement in the medical/ mental health community about whether 'venting' is helpful or harmful.

I totally agree that it's important to learn to control anger, but I'm talking about internalizing rather than communicating in a constructive way. Looking back, I should have definitely worded that more clearly rather than making such a blanket statement.

Many women will put up with bad behavior from others simply because they don't want to look like a "b****" or a shrew and will never say anything. That's really more what I'm talking about. Yes, of course no one should be getting to the point of rage, but everyone gets angry sometimes. It's important that self expression is not lost on the notion that it's important to be Ms. Manners all the time.

If someone is constantly raging and venting well of course that's NOT a healthy thing and needs to be dealt with accordingly. Does that make sense of my rambling haha!

 

[HVVS]

Date: 4/12/2010 10:23:47 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
You presented that thread out of context. The context being that I had just been told by a fellow PS-er that I liked to pick fights and I was a bully. Hence my comment about picking off the weakest link. Digging up old posts is dangerous when you don''t know what the eff you''re talking about.

I don''t think you''re a bully, HH.

 

[megumic]

Okay ladies, I didn''t mean to STARTa fight - I just needed some alternatives to actually punching a human, or a wall, or something. LOL. Truce?

So really, this is about a series of things. But in general. FSIL and my brother got engaged two months ago and are getting married next month. So a 3-4 month engagement. The whole thing has been done w/o any of our family considered or involved - essentially alienating everyone in our family from the wedding. What''s more complicated is that our parents are mid-divorce. So the alienation penetrates many levels.

Anyway, I blame brother just as much as FSIL. But she''s easier to punch b/c she''s a wimp

I did end up crying (okay, sobbing) like a huge baby last night in bed, which woke FI up, which always makes me feel so terrible b/c he gets up at 4:30a every morning. It put me to sleep, but left me exhausted and with swollen eyes this morning and not feeling any better. Ugh.

BTW - still feel like punching something. The gravy is that our only car broke down Saturday night and will cost $1k to fix - which is not worth it considering the mileage and age of the car. So, either fix it, go carless in the suburbs, or ante up. We refuse to dip into our wedding fund b/c we have worked so darn hard to save up for it. But I don''t know how else we''ll be able to get a new car. I''m so frustrated and I just want all of these terrible things to stop happening

Okay, time to go write a gratitude list, otherwise pity party for one is about to unfold. Then time to beat the sh!t outta something

 

[missy]

When I get so angry that I feel the need to hit something (and I am not a violent person but sometimes you just want to hit something KWIM?) venting helps. I usually vent to my dh and to my sister, my closest friends and to my mom. They are very helpful and it really lets me get it out of my system and I feel much better.

Crying is also extremely helpful as it is a release of emotions and I believe endorphins also get released after a good cry. Ofc, I try to never do this in front of the offender (if there is one in the particular situation that is making me so angry).

Working out also allows me to work off steam so to speak and I always feel better after a good workout.

I also find cuddling up with my cats very healing and helpful with feeling more at peace with whatever is causing me angst. Just watching them makes me happy. Right now 2 of them are grooming each other so sweetly and the other 2 are just laying in the sun soaking it up. That's the life! I always say if there is reincarnation I want to come back as a well loved and well cared for kitty!


Megumic, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this right now and I think you're right. You just need to focus on all the positive stuff in your life right now and be grateful for that. You can't control your brother and future SIL so don't even waste energy on that.

Sending good vibes your way!

 

[packrat]

Hey, if you do get one of those punching guys..be careful where you put him. When you walk downstairs at night and are flipping on lights you may catch sight of him out of the corner of your eye and think someone is standing there, causing you to enter ninja state and prepare for attack. If you put him in the garage, don''t put him in front of a window b/c looking out the kitchen window you may think there is someone in the garage in which case you may duck down and waddle thru the kitchen and do some sneaky reconnoitering with the phone set on 911 until you realize hey..yeah, that''s the punching guy.

I''m not saying either of these things have happened to *myself* upon spying my husband''s punching guy, and I''m not saying these things have happened several times due to my overactive imagination. Just friendly advice.

 

[Indylady]

Hahaha Packy you''re the best! It sounds like something I would do, you know, just hypothetically.