Honey you've got to let go.
Are you still angry about the guy and the red wine? I had a VERY similar problem. My dress's zipper broke completely and I spent a good hour and a half in the bathroom with a whole host of characters offering both sound advice and drunken ramblings and even had someone try to take PICTURES of the whole thing saying "you'll want this chronicled" ... thankfully my drunk SIL told them to get bent. I love her for that, and we still laugh about it. But yeah, I did missed out on visiting each table and didn't get pics with about 50% of our guest. Plus if you REALLY want to get technical about it : our DJ flubbed a bunch of major stuff... you could NOT hear our first dance song (we knew it by heart and danced anyway), he switched the music for the father/daughter dance and the mother/son dance, the caterer insulted my photographers so BADLY my day of planner had to come and get ME, the wrong cake stand was used and it's in every cake picture (but no one noticed but me and by then I didn't care), and there was not anywhere near enough food for the cocktail hour since I listened to the idiot caterer (who served fabulous food other than these two flubs).
And you know what... unless it's something like your post that sparks those details all I remember is the ceremony and how much those words meant to me, like they were engraved on my heart, and how wonderful it felt to be under that blue sky and in the sunshine with my best friend and love celebrating our commitment to each other. I remember all the special touches that I spent so much time on: the memory table, the flowers, and so many other little things. How touched and emotional our families were. My uncle acting completely out of character and getting all gooey on me. The feel of my grandfather's hand in mine as he walked me down the aisle (especially as he has since passed). And dancing until my feet hurt! And I certainly don't consider my wedding disastrous! In fact it was one of the best days of my life. And that's how I tell the story to myself and to anyone who asks... yeah, maybe I'll throw in the dress bit as a cautionary tale or as a funny sidebar. But it's a footnote to the event. It didn't define my day at all, because *I* didn't let it.
You need to let go of the bad and just accept it as part of life and focus on the good. To be quite honest the person that ruined your day is you, not the guy with the wine. It was a dress. You changed out of it. Heck, you could have kept it on and cried TIE DYE!
The issue is perspective. Namely yours.
Here's what I suggest. You need to re-write the day in your mind. Grab whatever works for you and tell the story of your wedding day on paper or type it out... writte from a different perspective than the one you have now. Be impartial and truthful but upbeat and then share it with yourself, like you would to a girlfriend. And make sure you include all the little special things that happened that were positive, cause I know you had some. And then every time you feel the blues, you tell yourself the new story until it's the REAL story. The facts stay the same but the way you view them is different and it will make the experience different for you when you think about it.
Okay? And then maybe once you do this you can get over your upset, regret, hurt and anger-- all of which your depression is rooted in.
