What do you argue about?

[wyndham]

I know a lot of couples have disagreements and arguments during the course of wedding planning. But now that the wedding is over, what do you and your spouse disagree about the most?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

We don''t argue really at all. Don''t get me wrong, we have our spats, but they''re not really disagreements. It''s more about one or both of us being in bad moods, or traffic.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Today we argued about gravy

 

[wyndham]

Thanks for the response, HH!

I was going to say something similar, actually: my husband and I used to have a lot more disagreements during wedding planning, but now that that''s over and done with, things are great! We have our spats here and there, but overall we both just feel relief that the pressure of planning a wedding is gone!

If I had to identify one issue that comes up a lot, I think it would be the way that we handle our downtime / recreation time. DH works a lot of hours so when he gets home he usually wants to watch tv and relax -- and I get that. But I think 30-45 minutes is normal, and he seems to think 3-4 hours is normal! We''re working on a happy medium, but I''d say that the way we spend our time together in the evenings is probably our biggest ''pain point'' right now.

Anyone else?

 

[wyndham]

Date: 11/24/2009 4:53:14 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Today we argued about gravy

Hahaha -- brown or white?

 

[trillionaire]

ok, not newlyweds, but we're just moving in together for the first time (neither of us has co-habbed before, and we've been LDR for 5 years

). Yeah...

We argue about... the dog sleeping in the bed?!?


Yep, that's the most frequent argument.

Animals do NOT belong in the bed. He insists that the 'whole family has to be together' (the same room works for me) and that it 'makes him really happy." (it really does!)

It would be cute if it wasn't such a PITA. Ugh.

We need a bigger bed.

 

[wyndham]

Date: 11/24/2009 4:56:58 PM
Author: trillionaire
ok, not newlyweds, but we''re just moving in together for the first time (neither of us has co-habbed before, and we''ve been LDR for 5 years

). Yeah...

We argue about... the dog sleeping in the bed?!?


Yep, that''s the most frequent argument.

Hahaha, priceless.

So Trill, are you pro-dog-in-bed? Or anti?

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 11/24/2009 4:56:19 PM
Author: wyndham

Date: 11/24/2009 4:53:14 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Today we argued about gravy

Hahaha -- brown or white?

Either, it was about gluten free or not. I told him I would make both but he is still REALLY worried I''ll forget to mix his packet of gravy mix with water lol

 

[elrohwen]

We don''t really argue about anything, but we have little spats if one of us is in a grouchy mood. For example: We went to Europe a few weeks ago and with the time change and different languages, DH was kind of out of commission for helping me figure out where we needed to be, so I got frustrating having to figure everything out on my own while he just stood there. Haha. Stupid stuff like that is about it. We mostly just get frustrated with each other at times, but we''re both quick to forgive if the other one is a grouch (or quick to change if the other points it out). Other than a few incidents like that, we don''t argue about anything.

I''ll add that we do argue for fun all the time. A recent example: DH is obsessed with mac & cheese and pulled pork. He always claims he wants to stuff a turkey or chicken with one or both of those things

So we get in an argument back and forth where I say it would taste gross and he says it would be awesome. It usually ends with me saying "If you make the mac & cheese and the pulled pork and stuff it in the bird, we can make it" and then he runs out of comebacks. Lol. Does this make us weird?

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 11/24/2009 5:05:02 PM
Author: elrohwen
Does this make us weird?

Nope, just your DH. Lol that sounds pretty gross!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 11/24/2009 4:59:46 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 11/24/2009 4:56:19 PM

Author: wyndham

Date: 11/24/2009 4:53:14 PM


Author: Smurfyimproved


Today we argued about gravy

Hahaha -- brown or white?

Either, it was about gluten free or not. I told him I would make both but he is still REALLY worried I''ll forget to mix his packet of gravy mix with water lol

Jo-use corn starch and chicken stock for an easy GF gravy.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 11/24/2009 5:19:35 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 11/24/2009 4:59:46 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 11/24/2009 4:56:19 PM


Author: wyndham

Date: 11/24/2009 4:53:14 PM



Author: Smurfyimproved



Today we argued about gravy

Hahaha -- brown or white?

Either, it was about gluten free or not. I told him I would make both but he is still REALLY worried I''ll forget to mix his packet of gravy mix with water lol

Jo-use corn starch and chicken stock for an easy GF gravy.

thats what im doin for the GF gravy but he still insists on his crappy 1.00 packet turkey gravy lol, if thats what it takes to make my hubby happy i think ive got it pretty good lol

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 11/24/2009 5:07:04 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 11/24/2009 5:05:02 PM
Author: elrohwen
Does this make us weird?

Nope, just your DH. Lol that sounds pretty gross!

Haha, ok, that's what I thought. I keep insisting that he's not serious about it and is trying to be a goof, but he insists that he is 100% serious.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

The only thing we consistently disagree on is religion, he''s a Catholic and I''m a socially liberal atheist. The Church has been in the news a lot recently in regards to its affect on legislation (gay marriage, abortion and health care reform, etc), and so we''ve been arguing over that stuff. Well...not so much arguing as him trying to get me to not be upset with the Catholic church over it.

He also tries to talk me into going to church with him, and I respond by trying to talk him into changing religion (he doesn''t follow most of Church teaching, it''s just what his family is). It never escalates into fights or anything like that, it''s just something that we consistently disagree on.

 

[MagsyMay]

Not a newlywed yet, but practically feel like it!

We argue very infrequently EXCEPT when we are in the car and HE is driving. I have very bad anxiety in cars and he knows this, and am also very conscious of speeding for fear of getting tickets. So I get anxious and he gets snippy about me backseat driving and then I get mad that he knows how anxious his driving makes me and why won''t he just be a little more considerate...

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 11/24/2009 4:58:23 PM
Author: wyndham

Date: 11/24/2009 4:56:58 PM
Author: trillionaire
ok, not newlyweds, but we''re just moving in together for the first time (neither of us has co-habbed before, and we''ve been LDR for 5 years

). Yeah...

We argue about... the dog sleeping in the bed?!?


Yep, that''s the most frequent argument.

Hahaha, priceless.

So Trill, are you pro-dog-in-bed? Or anti?

I''m not the crazy one here. It''s MY dog (had her for 2 years) and she weighs 70lbs!!! She''s NEVER been allowed in the bed. It''s one thing to have a yorkie in the bed, but a behemoth? I think not.

Funny this is, he usually wins, 5/7 days.

 

[Blair138]

The cats

they are his, and while I am an animal lover, I don''t really love them. I want a dog, we are hopefully getting one soon

 

[musey]

Usually silly intangible things.

 

[Haven]

We disagree about a lot of little things. We rarely argue and fight over things, but we definitely have healthy discussions about the things on which we disagree.

Small Things on Which We Agree to Disagree, and Reach a Compromise that Works for Both of Us:
(A sample)

- The toothpaste tube. He thinks it must be squeezed from the bottom. I love the feeling of squeezing it in the middle, so I do that. THEN, I squeeze it all up from the bottom when it starts to empty. Compromise: DH just deals with it. Once I told him why I squeeze in the middle (I love the feeling! It feels like I''m a baker squeezing a frosting tube thing!) he just laughed and said "Don''t stop doing that. That''s cute."

- The kitchen cabinets. I leave them all open when I''m cooking, it''s a habit. DH thinks this one particular cabinet is a safety hazard* so he gets angry when I leave it open. Compromise: I close it right after I finish using it.
*He thinks this because he once walked square into the corner of said cabinet. It was like: forehead, meet cabinet corner. SMACK!

- Coasters. My husband is obsessed with coasters. He leaves a trail of coasters wherever he goes, and he obsesses over making sure people use them when we have company. (He''s the son of furniture store owners, I blame them.) At first, I found this to be annoying. I only use coasters on surfaces that a glass ring will ruin, such as wood. But now I embrace it, and I even buy him coasters whenever I see funny or interesting ones.

(Can you tell which of the two of us is more laid back????)

The good news is that we have really calm discussions about things that are bothering us. We mostly end up laughing through all of our disagreements, especially if they start to get a little bit heated. I don''t know why, but one of us will start cracking up, and then the other can''t keep a straight face, and we end up laughing so hard our stomachs hurt.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 11/24/2009 8:50:41 PM
Author: Haven


- Coasters. My husband is obsessed with coasters. He leaves a trail of coasters wherever he goes, and he obsesses over making sure people use them when we have company. (He''s the son of furniture store owners, I blame them.) At first, I found this to be annoying. I only use coasters on surfaces that a glass ring will ruin, such as wood. But now I embrace it, and I even buy him coasters whenever I see funny or interesting ones.

Haven, have you seen these?

http://www.uncommongoods.com/item/item.jsp?itemId=12394

 

[pocahontas]

DH and I didn't live together before we got married so it'd be fair to say most of our disagreements tend to be about the kinds of things related to living together for the first time. For example, I think furniture should be moved when cleaning whereas DH is content to clean around furniture. I like a clean sink whereas DH could let a couple meal's worth of dishes accumulate. By no means is DH a slob - far from it - but, I'm much more anal than he is!

 

[Treasure43]

- The toothpaste tube. He thinks it must be squeezed from the bottom. I love the feeling of squeezing it in the middle, so I do that. THEN, I squeeze it all up from the bottom when it starts to empty. Compromise: DH just deals with it. Once I told him why I squeeze in the middle (I love the feeling! It feels like I''m a baker squeezing a frosting tube thing!) he just laughed and said "Don''t stop doing that. That''s cute."

When FI and I first started living together we had a constant joking argument over this. I squeeze mine from the middle as well and he squeezes from the bottom. Our solution: seperate toothpaste tubes Now I can squeeze my tube however I want!

He also lets the dog get away with too much But he loves her and the cat (and he''s normally not a fan of cats) and since I had them both before we met, I''ll accept it!

 

[meresal]

Not much fighting, but little bickering, yes, yes we do that.

One of which, a huge pet peeve of mine, just happened.

He will ask for my opinion, and then right after I give it, he has little rebuttles.

Ex. He is about to start packing for us to go to my parents for TG. He asked what he needed to pack, I replied that he will need kahki slacks for TG dinner, and his immediate response, "They may not fit anymore."

This absolutely boils my blood. Then don''t ask for my help!

FYI- i completely get this from my mom. I used to do it grwoing up and my mom would get so mad. For example, /i would ask her if something matched, and then disagree with what she told me. It would absolutely infuriate her. I am totally turning into my mom.

 

[Haven]

Oh my gosh Trill, those are amazing! DH is a huge music fan, too.
I think I''m going to get a set and stash them away for a good gifting opportunity.

Thanks so much!

The funniest thing about this obsession of his: our last name rhymes with "coaster".

 

[kama_s]

Date: 11/24/2009 8:50:41 PM
Author: Haven

(Can you tell which of the two of us is more laid back????)

Haven, I am probably an exact copy of your husband! Every issue you mentioned, I have your husband''s POV. The toothpaste thing really really really gets to me

. My husband got us a tube control clip recently to humor me.

As for us, our tiffs are usually about him doing something I would consider half-assed. If I were to wash the dishes, I would clean the counter tops, scrub the sink, polish the faucet etc. Whereas he would just put the dishes in the dishwasher and leave the sink/drain/counter tops dirty and wet.

 

[pocahontas]

Date: 11/24/2009 11:07:07 PM
Author: kama_s

Haven, I am probably an exact copy of your husband! Every issue you mentioned, I have your husband''s POV. The toothpaste thing really really really gets to me

. My husband got us a tube control clip recently to humor me.

As for us, our tiffs are usually about him doing something I would consider half-assed. If I were to wash the dishes, I would clean the counter tops, scrub the sink, polish the faucet etc. Whereas he would just put the dishes in the dishwasher and leave the sink/drain/counter tops dirty and wet.

Yes, yes, yes! What about the little bits of food or crumbs they leave in the sink? Seriously, I don''t understand

 

[bee*]

I can''t remember the last time we had a proper argument but we definitely bicker a lot. Mainly about:
tidying. He''s a little bit anal about tidying whereas I''m not so I''m sure I drive him mad sometimes. Not that I''m messy but I''m just not a perfectionist about tidying.
I actually can''t think of anything else we row about-I''m sure I''ll think of them later.

 

[KatyWI]

Nothing! We are so calm together, I seriously cannot think of a time we disagreed about something. I mean, once in a while one of us will get cranky and snap a little, but it never turns into a big thing, the other is just like "HEY!" and then the cranky one apologizes.

If one of us has a preference on something like toothpaste tubes, chances are we have the same preference because we have never disagreed or even had a conversation about something like that! Neither of us is a neat freak, but we both have about the same limit for mess and clutter and so whichever of us has the time will clean the kitchen, living room, bedroom, do the laundry, whatever.

We seriously have the most sickeningly sweet, even tempered relationship I''ve ever seen. He''s my sanity and my safe haven - other people annoy me sometimes, but as soon as I''m in his arms, I''m good to go. It was so hard spending so much time away from him the week before the wedding (bach parties, errands) because I was so stressed out and he was the only person who could make me feel normal!

 

[princessplease]

We're not married yet, but do live together.

On the rare occasions we do argue, it's about me being in the mood and he's not. But in his defense, he works a very tough job that requires a ton pf physical labor, so we'll bicker about it for a little bit. Then the rational me kicks in and realizes that he's working hard and earning a living for us, and I can go without it once in a blue moon when I'm in the mood and he's not.

Oh, and the dirty dishes being left in the sick. Irks the s**t outta me, lol! Just put them in the dishwasher, it's right next to the sink lol!

 

[Laila619]

We don''t fight, we bicker about silly things.