What are your pronouns?

[HollyJane]

I feel no strong need to be called "they/them" even though "she/her" does not encompass all that I am and feel to be. I know who I am. I guess that's why I'm kinda of surprised when someone does feel such a strong preference for a particular pronoun.

What I do feel strongly about is ever being called a "girl" or "miss" like I'm a kid. "Boy" for an adult is equally ridiculous. I'm damned sure an adult. But, I know and have met plenty people who are suprised I have such a strong preference in this area and don't know why it's so important to me. Lol

 

[foxinsox]

I’m she/her and will always make a point of finding out someone’s pronouns so I can help them feel comfortable. It’s just simple respect to make sure you get someone’s details right.
I read up thread and @missy, you said it so well.

 

[Tonks]

Hi, I’m Tonks and my pronouns are she/her.

Thanks for asking and helping to make this a welcoming space, @nala

 

[House Cat]

Omg, just don’t call me “sweetie” or “hon.” Especially if you’re 25 years younger than me

 

[pearlsngems]

Agreed! Last year a male phlebotomist young enough to be my son called me "honey".

I told him I found it infantilizing. He said it was a habit he acquired from working with nurses. I told him that most women probably didn't appreciate it, even if they didn't confront him about it.

 

[seaurchin]

She/her for me.

 

[kenny]

Agreed! Last year a male phlebotomist young enough to be my son called me "honey".

I told him I found it infantilizing. He said it was a habit he acquired from working with nurses. I told him that most women probably didn't appreciate it, even if they didn't confront him about it.

FWIW in addition to nurses, another group I've noticed more likely to call strangers honey (both women and sometimes men) is gay men.
It's not a dog whistle for trying to get fresh with a woman (though it may be with a man), it's just their way of trying to be friendly.

But yes, they should stop that because it too-quickly assumes a level of trust and comfort with new people, plus you often you can't tell whether a stranger is gay.

 

[Gussie]

She/her.

I will answer to "hey you", ma'am, honey, old lady, etc. Almost nothing offends me EXCEPT

Mrs. John Smith (fake name lol)

I did not get married to lose my name entirely!! It makes me crazy to receive letters addressed to Mrs. (Insert husband's name). Maybe it bothers me so much because the only person that still addresses women this way is my MIL

 

[OneKuhlChic]

I use she / her. In regards to others I use they, theirs, them... It's generic and totally inoffensive. However, I've said she or her when talking to someone whose trans or amorphous and presents feminine.

 

[danusia]

No matter what I use, I am bound to offend someone totally unintentionally. So I vote for name tags to end the confusion.

 

[natasha-cupcake]

I don't believe that pronouns "belong" to me or anyone else, so I won't be telling others how they should refer to me. I also don't feel any obligation to use pronouns that others demand I use when referring to them. I'm happy to call you any name you choose, and will always treat you with respect and compassion, no matter your situation. If you were born male or female and are transitioning/ have transitioned to the opposite gender, I will happily refer to you using the appropriate traditional English language pronouns for your current identity. However, if you've identified as something other than male or female, that's your prerogative but none of my business. I will call you by your chosen name, but I won't be driving myself nuts trying to remember how I should be contorting my speech. Sorry, I'm not murdering the English language for anyone.

I apologize if anyone finds my opinion offensive, but it's entirely reasonable, even if different from yours, and you won't be able to shame me out of holding it. Peace and love to all.

 

[yssie]

No matter what I use, I am bound to offend someone totally unintentionally.

Yup. This. Even asking will offend some people. There's no winning.

 

[GoldenTouch]

No matter what I use, I am bound to offend someone totally unintentionally. So I vote for name tags to end the confusion.

I work in a primary school where we had a child who wore different badges (she, him, they) depending on how they identified that day. The problem was they were so small you couldn’t easily tell from a distance what is said.

I am a she/her.
I also only answer to Mumma (not Mum or Mummy) for my child.
The only thing I would correct is my title which is Ms. I don’t like the title Mrs or Miss. Men are just always Mr & it doesn’t rely on their marital status.
I even prefer children I work with to just call me by my first name.

 

[stracci2000]

I frequent a thrift store that benefits an LGBTQ support facility.
There is a wide variety of folks who work there. Some present as female, and some present as male. I usually look for a name tag and call them by name.
I always say "thank you, dear" to everybody, no matter where I shop. I'm an old lady, and no one has ever said they were offended.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

She/her/hers

My cat is the same.

My dog is an It/it/its now!

DK

Our cat Borris insists on Her Magisty

 

[nala]

I guess just because I started this thread doesn’t mean that I can monitor how it evolves. I have repeatedly posted that it was not meant as a social commentary or discussion Thread or a joke. It was to be a reference thread literally, especially bc often times we look at pics of just hands and many of us have usernames that are ambiguous. But I guess it’s toooo much to ask of this forum to take a title and a thread literally since people keep trying to make this question an issue. Sigh. I give. Up.

 

[Matata]

It was to be a reference thread literally, especially bc often times we look at pics of just hands and many of us have usernames that are ambiguous.

Nala, I appreciate the effort. I don't see it as practical as a reference thread. There are some members in this thread who may be good at remembering who posted what pronoun preference in this thread (which will eventually be off the main page and forgotten unless made a sticky) but most will not remember. A lot of folks won't see the thread at all (unless it's a sticky). And if it's a sticky, I'm skeptical that many would take consistent advantage of it.

I think, I haven't looked, but I think that in most discussions here we refer to people by their user names and any ambiguity has, as far as I know, not caused any problems. Putting the info in one's siggy seems an easier way to state preference for those who wish to do so.

 

[nala]

Nala, I appreciate the effort. I don't see it as practical as a reference thread. There are some members in this thread who may be good at remembering who posted what pronoun preference in this thread (which will eventually be off the main page and forgotten unless made a sticky) but most will not remember. A lot of folks won't see the thread at all (unless it's a sticky). And if it's a sticky, I'm skeptical that many would take consistent advantage of it.

I think, I haven't looked, but I think that in most discussions here we refer to people by their user names and any ambiguity has, as far as I know, not caused any problems. Putting the info in one's siggy seems an easier way to state preference for those who wish to do so.

That is a great idea!!!
And one which many had not thought of probably so at least one positive came of this thread.

 

[Karl_K]

No matter what I use, I am bound to offend someone totally unintentionally. So I vote for name tags to end the confusion.

As someone who has and always had near zero memory for faces or names I am strongly in favor of name tags with big letters!
There is zero chance I will ever remember someones chosen pronoun. Im just happy "hey you" works or I would really be in trouble.

 

[lilmosun]

Our cat Borris insists on Her Magisty

@Daisys and Diamonds you will appreciate this. My husband called our beloved husky (who has passed) "The Boss" because his name was "Jersey". I didn't name him but when I saw his name on a rescue site, I decided it was a sign that he was meant to be mine.

(Apologies for going off topic)

 

[jaysonsmom]

We should ask to add pronouns below our screen names like on LinkedIn

Jaysonsmom
(She/Her)

I tried to add the pronouns to my screen name, but that would considered a name change.

 

[nala]

We should ask to add pronouns below our screen names like on LinkedIn

Jaysonsmom
(She/Her)

I tried to add the pronouns to my screen name, but that would considered a name change.

I tried doing a signature and it saved but doesn’t show up. I guess I don’t know how to do it.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I tried doing a signature and it saved but doesn’t show up. I guess I don’t know how to do it.

Maybe you need to sign out and sign in again to take effect?

 

[monarch64]

Mine are she/her.

 

[nala]

Maybe you need to sign out and sign in again to take effect?

It worked!

 

[Ionysis]

We should ask to add pronouns below our screen names like on LinkedIn

Jaysonsmom
(She/Her)

I tried to add the pronouns to my screen name, but that would considered a name change.

In simpler times the fact that your user name includes the word MOM would be enough to indicate which pronouns one would use. Not these days apparently.