What are the signs of aging?

[LJsapphire]

I've had colleagues think I'm new to my profession and assume I'm in my early 20s when I've been in this career for 17 years and almost 40. Its very flattering when they are so surprised, happened today actually.
I haven't done anything except for having a good skincare routine since I was a teenager, and I used to sleep a lot (before I had my son anyway!)
My fiance is a month and a bit younger than me but people think he is older.

I would look at skin around eyes, hands and neck. Hair, although that's easily covered, I cover my greys anyway. My hands are probably aging a little more quicker than the rest of me, teeth can sometimes be a sign too I think.

 

[stracci2000]

One thing that I notice is too much makeup on older women.
Our skin is not the same as when we were younger, and we shouldn't use heavy eyeliner, shadow, etc. It's just bad looking.
Also, a good haircut, or if the hair is one length, a fresh trim.
Also, I don't agree that we should all color our hair!
Mine is streaky salt 'n' pepper, and I like it. And I don't want to put harmful dye on my scalp. I have an angled bob cut and I get compliments all the time, even with the gray streaks!

 

[MarionC]

Monarch
that dog looks familiar, but my Issy must be younger as she still has her own teeth!

 

[House Cat]

Hi...
I totally plan on being 90 years old and with the boobs and skin of a 20 year old. I won’t do my lips because that would be weird.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I am prolly the only one here who doesn't mind plastic surgery. When I think it is my time--I'll be opting for some facial procedure! But not lips, ya no.

Nasolabial folds & marionette lines are a give away. I want to fill mine!!! Too bad my hair and neck and hands will give me away. Oh well, can't have it all....

cheers--Sharon

 

[december-fire]

I just cut 'em in half and count the age rings.

The direct approach!

This is why I love you Kenny!

 

[kenny]

Aw Shucks.
You ain't no chopped livah yourself.

 

[Bron357]

I’m old now and so many of the “things” that used to concern me ie my figure, what outfit to wear, my hair etc etc I no longer give a second thought to. It makes me a little sad to look back over old photos and see how “fabulous” I looked and realize I didn’t see myself that way at the time. I feel much happier and more comfortable in myself and now save my “concerns” for important things. Oh, but I’m still waiting to “grow up” ha ha.

 

[anne_h]

I've read research that indicates humans perceive uneven skin tone as anti youth/vitality (eg: sun spots, redness, broken capillaries, etc). And when there is lessening contrast between hair and skin color.

I will agree with some others that posture goes a long way! Personally, I think mascara helps me a lot... lol

Anne

 

[PintoBean]

Making pop culture references that the millenials don't understand,e.g., "you look like Danny pintauro from who's the boss." Who and what is that?

Oh did you see cyndi lauper on celebrity apprentice? Who's cyndi lauper?

 

[stracci2000]

Making pop culture references that the millenials don't understand,e.g., "you look like Danny pintauro from who's the boss." Who and what is that?

Oh did you see cyndi lauper on celebrity apprentice? Who's cyndi lauper?

Oh, but Pinto, I LOVE doing this!!!!
Do you remember when Cher had a bumpy nose?
Wanna borrow my Bobby Sherman record?
You sound like Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter! LOLOLOLOL

 

[LLJsmom]

Can't see up close, can't see far away... argh!!

OK, I see. What "looks" old. It's easier to say what looks young to me. My mom looks young. She is the oldest of 5 girls, and she looks younger than all her sisters. She's a genetic freak, whose genes I clearly did not inherit. Her face looks great. Not too thin or puffy. Barely any wrinkles. I have more than her. I'm 46. She was getting carded when she was in her 50s. No joke. I went to Vegas with her when I was in my 20s and she and I both got carded.

I am trying with this make up thing, and I feel more aged with it on than not. I should probably persevere. It hides lots of blemishes. But thing about age spots, it comes with living. I don't inherently mind them. But society seems to frown upon them, so I struggle with them. When I saw them on my Grandma, I loved them. I thought they made her look cute, and human and warm. I feel bad when I see them on myself.

Active, independent feels young to me. A busy attitude, got places to go and things to do. That always makes me think of strength and youthfulness and vitality.

 

[Elizabeth35]

DH's partner in one of his biz is 86. He has always seemed young at heart---never acted 'old'.
He walks with a spring in his step like a young man. He laughs and jokes and is up to date on current events. Uses a cell phone, laptop, etc. He wears jeans and henleys and is fit. He just bought a new car.
Yes--he is gray and has wrinkles. And his hearing is going and now we see some memory loss.

But he has always been my hero for aging yet seeming youthful in the best way. I think a lot of it is that he never stopped learning new things and he takes care of his mind and his body.

Physical signs of aging----pffft. That's part of life and normal.
In my experience, it seems that women in their 40's seem to peak in their fear of aging and looking older. That's when you most often see the inappropriate make-up/clothes and an almost desperate need to look younger. Maybe it's a mid-life thing. I think it makes them look insecure---sort of like a bald guy wearing an obvious toupee.
I think in general people now are much more aware of skin care, exercise, diet and avoiding the sun so we are in better shape than previous generations.

 

[monarch64]

Oof. Elizabeth, when I was very young (maybe 19-20) I used to find it soooo totally like distasteful seeing a 40-something dressing desperately like a 20-something. Then I grew up and realized that everyone gets to dress however they want. That maybe a lot of women miss out on their cute 20s style because they were busy having babies and then raising kids and didn’t make time for themselves to keep up with figuring out how to dress themselves “age-appropriately.” That maybe no one ever taught them how to dress in a contemporary and polished way. That maybe they weren’t desperate at all, but just liked the way they looked.

Let’s give women the benefit of the doubt here. In small town America, and even other places (!) there are great clothes for younger women, and then you have Alfred Dunner elastic waist polyester slacks and floral blouses. The “in-between” is sometimes non-existent.

When I was 26 I remember my stupid first husband saying to me: “wow, I bet since you’re too old for young women’s clothing now it must be really hard to shop.”

Should stores start putting age ranges on department signs now? Just to make sure we are all in our appropriate box?

Not picking on you. But “inappropriate” struck a nerve! If someone doesn’t like the lady wearing the miniskirt, moto jacket, and choker necklace, then don’t sit next to her at the PTA meeting, I guess.

My 7th grade English teacher was in her 40s. She had gorgeous long blonde hair that was naturally curly and hung in cascading ringlets. She wore Ally McBeal skirt suits and sheer black hose, and high heels. She didn’t have children. She did whatever the hell she wanted and man I bet parents HATED her for having the AUDACITY to dress like a 25 year old! She was an original “zero effs given” role model in my life.

How come she wasn’t described as “young at heart?” Your 86 year old is. But he isn’t “inappropriate.” Why?

 

[Elizabeth35]

Okay---let me define my OPINION of inappropriate for your age dressing, which I feel is aging.
And this is how millennial kids view it---at least the ones I am around.

Middle-aged women with extremely heavy make-up, obvious lip implants, botox and showing off large amounts of cleavage, extremely short skirts, super tight clothing. Not short as in Brigitte Macron (who dresses in a youthful manner and looks great)--but super short.
As someone else described---the Real Housewives look. Maybe things like this are regional or cultural or socio-economic or simply a matter of taste.

I am all for dressing youthfully--and I see 70 year olds who look fabulous in leather pants. Or long hair. Or moto jackets. That is not at all what I was referring to.

So perhaps you feel I am judgmental. That's fine--I understand and accept your point.
Sorry if I hit a nerve.

 

[monarch64]

I don’t think YOU are judgmental, no. I think that as a society we hate on women and have a double standard when it comes to aging. I didn’t make myself very clear about not directing it towards you personally; sorry about that!

 

[Elizabeth35]

Absolutely there is a double standard. And that is why I think it is sad seeing women so frightened of the aging process that they resort to trying to look like a 25 year old heading to the club.

It's great to look your best and take care of yourself (and if you want plastic surgery then go for it) but I also think it is harmful to see women that feel bad about themselves if they don't look 20 or 30 or whatever. It's okay to look your age. Men do it all the time Because everyone is judging them on their income---lol.

 

[missy]

Yes to moto jackets and OTK boots and long hair and anything else that makes you feel good. Forget what other people think. Be true to who you are and do what you feel best doing. Anyone who judges unfavorably or makes snide comments etc is simply not worth your energy. Truly not worth it. And life is so much easier when you separate those who aren't worth your energy and time from those who are. If you kwim.

Here's this 52 year old wearing her moto jackets, shorter dresses and OTK boots and long hair. Too bad if you (the general you not referring to anyone here) don't like it.














Judge me if you want. I really don't care.

 

[nala]

Omg. As the op, I didn’t mean to cause discord. I sincerely asked this question bc hubby and I always disagree when we describe strangers. At first glance, I can’t and take it all in. And I still don’t know what i focus on when I make a judgment to characterize someone as older. Maybe I’m go for the obvious to me. Gray hair.

 

[LLJsmom]

Speaking of clothing, what a person wears never registers as something that makes them look old. Clothes from the 80s can make a person look dated and out of touch but more power to them. They probably saved a ton of money and can buy more bling. Clothes seem to me more an indication of a person’s priorities. Some people are in comfy jeans and flannels and T-shirt’s. That shows they prioritize comfort. Ok. Don’t want to derail this thread.

 

[whitewave]

Um, I guess grey hair, wrinkles and a shuffling gait?

Now that I am pushing 50, I don't see people as "old" until their 80s-- like my aunt is 88 and she just hurts. Everything hurts. So I would say, yes, she is old.

 

[missy]

Speaking of clothing, what a person wears never registers as something that makes them look old. Clothes from the 80s can make a person look dated and out of touch but more power to them. They probably saved a ton of money and can buy more bling. Clothes seem to me more an indication of a person’s priorities. Some people are in comfy jeans and flannels and T-shirt’s. That shows they prioritize comfort. Ok. Don’t want to derail this thread.

Agreed. Also what some find comfie others may not. For example I’m not a jeans fan and don’t love the feeling of jeans on me generally but find what I wear to be very comfortable so as with everything what one finds comfie varies. You will never find me in heels or tight jeans etc whereas others find that comfortable.

And yes for saving money for bling. I love shopping in my closet and yes what I wore in the 80s and 90s still fits woohoo. Though I did get rid of much of those just due to it not being my style now.

 

[whitewave]

With people I often look at skin. I am prone to fine lines and wrinkles and I do my best to keep them at bay, regular chemical peels, high quality moisturizers, avoiding the sun, drinking a lot of water, etc. I'm 32 so I'm pretty sure within a few years Botox will be added to the mix.

Don't be so sure. At nearly 50, I have no wrinkles and my derm won't do botox on me.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

It’s not really a sign of aging but I have always looked much younger than I am. People often guess 10-15 years younger. All the women in my family look younger so agree it is largely due to genetics. I’m also short and wonder if that gives people the younger vibe.

 

[lyra]

I prioritize comfort! I wear jeggings and leggings! I wear running shoes. I don't wear makeup because other than a bit of mascara, everything screams MAKEUP!! Meh. I do me. Maybe I look bad to others. Whatever. I actually want to start getting those senior discounts. Some start earlier than others.

 

[whitewave]

My friends and I had a discussion about this and we decided that the most aging thing a person can do is to try too hard to look young or “recapture their youth”. You may think you’re well preserved, but young people can tell. I know, because I remember being a twenty-something way back when and side-eyeing the few “old” people in clubs. I don’t know what it is, but there is a difference between a dewy young person and a plumped moisturized old person (in person. I just read about Meitu in The New Yorker).

Just try to look to look your best, work with what you got, and don’t worry about looking younger. It is what it is.

P.s. I like being old. I don’t even mind looking old (although I’m sure my attitude will change when I’m on the job market again).

Case in point: Roy Moore's wife...

 

[whitewave]

Yes to moto jackets and OTK boots and long hair and anything else that makes you feel good. Forget what other people think. Be true to who you are and do what you feel best doing. Anyone who judges unfavorably or makes snide comments etc is simply not worth your energy. Truly not worth it. And life is so much easier when you separate those who aren't worth your energy and time from those who are. If you kwim.

Here's this 52 year old wearing her moto jackets, shorter dresses and OTK boots and long hair. Too bad if you (the general you not referring to anyone here) don't like it.














Judge me if you want. I really don't care.

Honey, if I had your thighs, I'd wear those boots too! Rock on...

 

[LLJsmom]

Honey, if I had your thighs, I'd wear those boots too! Rock on...

Exactly.

 

[monarch64]

Absolutely there is a double standard. And that is why I think it is sad seeing women so frightened of the aging process that they resort to trying to look like a 25 year old heading to the club.

It's great to look your best and take care of yourself (and if you want plastic surgery then go for it) but I also think it is harmful to see women that feel bad about themselves if they don't look 20 or 30 or whatever. It's okay to look your age. Men do it all the time Because everyone is judging them on their income---lol.

I think I just have a strong reaction to the word "inappropriate." Nowadays I guess we'd call it "tryhard." To me, inappropriate has a very negative connotation and means there is something WRONG with the way someone is dressed. Like, what older ladies would've called anyone who didn't sit with their ankles crossed and shirt buttoned up to their neck. Tryhard, to me, means clinging to or trying to achieve a certain look when it's blatantly obvious that it's unnatural. Should I just shut up now? I feel like you're thinking, "semantics, jeez."

Nala, no discord here. Just making conversation and examining an issue.

Missy, I swear I wasn't thinking of you when I made my analogy! Too funny. You have a distinct personal style that is fab and I hope you always wear whatever makes you comfortable and happy.

 

[whitewave]

I’m old now and so many of the “things” that used to concern me ie my figure, what outfit to wear, my hair etc etc I no longer give a second thought to. It makes me a little sad to look back over old photos and see how “fabulous” I looked and realize I didn’t see myself that way at the time. I feel much happier and more comfortable in myself and now save my “concerns” for important things. Oh, but I’m still waiting to “grow up” ha ha.

This too! I realized this year that younger men no longer make eye contact with me and I couldn't be more thrilled! So liberating.

This thing with feeling more comfortable in your skin is real and it is wonderful.