What’s your new normal?

[nala]

Would love to hear what your new normal is. We all live in different cities or states or even countries, so it would add context if you would share that too. I’m trying to gauge where we all stand. I have to admit that finding my new normal in uncharted waters is daunting and making me second-guess myself so hearing from others should be helpful. I hope we can all refrain from judging. I’ll start

I live in the OC jn So Cal, where Covid cases vary from city to city—dramatically. I frequent outdoor seating restaurants, parks, and department store shopping. I have gone to the casino a few times. I always wear a mask and practice social distancing. When I visit my 81 year old mom, I make sure that I quarantine for 14 after a casino visit. My family will not hold family reunions anymore and I don’t invite friends over nor do I double- date. On the other hand, hubby’s family is the opposite of mine and they continue to hang out with friends and family and don’t wear masks nor do they practice social distancing. My DD is living with me for now but she spends a lot of time with her dad’s family, who all work and who spend a lot of time with friends and family.

 

[Demon]

I'm in Jefferson County Colorado. We've recently had an uptick of cases in CO, so my normal hasn't changed much from when this started. Grocery store, & I had appts with the Dr & Dentist. Go to Home Depot if something is needed and to the occasional weed shop. Need a haircut so badly that I might even try one of those ponytail on the top of your head DIY cuts just to get some short layers. I am that desperate. I'd like to visit my jeweler, but not yet. And maybe not for a long time if gold keeps going up. Also not doing family stuff because my sister in law has a HUGE family. They're all huggers, and the last picture I saw of a family gathering, no one was wearing a mask.

 

[OoohShiny]

I am on the side of your Husband.

Creating a society where masks are compulsory (only 7% of communication is verbal) and where children are afraid to hug older people because they are being brainwashed into thinking of themselves as 'dirty little disease spreaders' is not a society I want to live in.

 

[Elizabeth35]

W have 2 adult kids living with us--we are in an unincorporated suburban Chicago area.
We order groceries online and do not dine out. Rarely order food for delivery.
I have gone to get my hair cut. My hair lady works out of her home so only one person in her home salon at a time and she sanitizes between customers. We both wear masks.

We wear masks if we are out of the house, and sanitize when we return. For example, if DH gasses up the car he wears a mask and sanitizes his hands and the car door handle when he re-enters the car.

We have socialized with friends outdoors on patios and staying 6' apart. I know our friends pick up our used glasses with paper towels and put directly in the dishwasher.

We are semi-retired (landlords and flippers) so any work we do can be done remotely or in houses that are vacant. DH sends people in for repairs on rentals now rather than doing it himself.

I prefer not to die alone in the hospital on a ventilator and am fortunate to be able to re-arrange my life to avoid taking much risk. I am willing to be inconvenienced and avoid socializing until there is a vaccine. Hopefully 6 more months. I am the queen of delayed gratification so I will wait.

 

[Volute]

I’m in Seattle. My husband and I haven’t worked in the office since early March, nor do we expect to go back until 2021. He’s been given notice to wfh through a part of 2021, and my small team and I have decided we will be working remotely till the end of January. So it seems the “new normal” is here to stay for a while.

Things that are the same: We chat with neighbors over the fence. We get a lot of groceries delivered. We take long walks whenever we can and unwind in the garden. We make plans to do bike rides and then get slammed at work.
Things that are different: I spend so much time talking to my extended family. I’m also the designated errand runner for my grandmother, and I visit her at least twice a week, but really as often as needed for groceries, medicines, and coordinating housework. Because of this, I have to be absolutely meticulous about social distancing. I’m so, so tired but it’s been wonderful to spend so much time with my husband. We have adjoining offices at home and wave at each other through the French doors. We’re not traveling for work, and I’m ok with that. Meals have gotten so much harder now that we’re always home, and we’ve compensated by going to two meals a day.

I’m also mentally busier. I worry about the number of cases in my city and elsewhere. I worry about my grandmother having to be hospitalized for any reason. I worry about the economy, knowing that many are suffering and there’s more to come. Politically, the current administration has created a lot of instability at work, and my company is considering relocating in the future. I make lots of backup plans for everyone I’m responsible for. Did I mention I’m tired? I can’t imagine how exhausted parents must be right now.
On a lighter note and because this is PS, I haven’t been able to wear any of my earrings because of mask straps. My rings are in a box. Bracelets only since the office has shut down. I’m also considering getting an OEC but I can’t focus on shopping.

Thank you @nala. It’s helpful somehow to type all this out.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Well since March I have been unemployed (freaking again thanks COVID) and DH has been working from home, he just started going into a small office one or two times a week. We are in Connecticut. I was told I would be working from home and waited for months but finally in June I filed for unemployment when it was obvious they wouldn't be giving me any work.

We go out as needed for groceries with masks since they are required. We have met up with the neighbors regularly since restrictions eased and have gone to one family gathering on July 4th. I've gone out with a fellow PS'er for breakfast and antiquing once. We are not going many places though, no parks or other amusement, the kids have been troopers though. I don't really like people in my house so this has been great in a way because you can't argue with COVID!

We are doing a financial overhaul, refinancing, getting into Dave Ramsey so the new normal for us will be A LOT different but this is a good thing. The kids will be distance learning until January. I'm thankful we have learned to live on one income and have the option to keep the kids home.

I really despised the term "new normal" because I liked the old normal but maybe that was too hasty, we certainly have a better appreciation for what's really important now.

 

[Elizabeth35]

I am on the side of your Husband.

Creating a society where masks are compulsory (only 7% of communication is verbal) and where children are afraid to hug older people because they are being brainwashed into thinking of themselves as 'dirty little disease spreaders' is not a society I want to live in.

I am not sure where you live.
And I am not sure what your issue is with masks and social distancing during a deadly and wildly contagious pandemic.
Masks and social distancing are necessary during this pandemic, other than if you live in someplace like New Zealand which has no community spread (or virtually no community spread?).

If you are in a country or region that has community spread, no matter how small, NOT wearing a mask or social distancing is endangering others.

It's a small price to pay for another 6-12 months until there is a widely available vaccine.

Edited to add--this is probably not a society than any of us want to live in. But we all have to do our part to protect society as a whole.

 

[winnietucker]

I just work from home 100% now. It used to be 20% at most. I’m kind of antisocial though so I like that.

My husband’s job is going on like there’s no pandemic. Someone tested positive (different company but they work with his coworkers) and it seems his company doesn’t care.

My family typically visits every year but this year they can’t. I had a couple friends who were planning on coming to visit also cancel.

We still grocery shop and are spending way more now. But part of that is the focus on healthier foods/ quality. We shop at Winco less often and do more of the nicer grocery stores. It started because Winco is a mess of people (before Covid) but we liked it and kept up with it.

We don’t do much of anything anymore. We do go walking at some nearby trails.

 

[Calliecake]

I am not sure where you live.
And I am not sure what your issue is with masks and social distancing during a deadly and wildly contagious pandemic.
Masks and social distancing are necessary during this pandemic, other than if you live in someplace like New Zealand which has no community spread (or virtually no community spread?).

If you are in a country or region that has community spread, no matter how small, NOT wearing a mask or social distancing is endangering others.

It's a small price to pay for another 6-12 months until there is a widely available vaccine.

Edited to add--this is probably not a society than any of us want to live in. But we all have to do our part to protect society as a whole.

Thank you for your response @Elizabeth35 . I appreciate it more than you could possibly know.

 

[Dancing Fire]

The only difference for me is wearing a mask when I go out in public, plus no dining out. Otherwise everything is the old normal.

 

[KristinTech]

Well since March I have been unemployed (freaking again thanks COVID) and DH has been working from home, he just started going into a small office one or two times a week. We are in Connecticut. I was told I would be working from home and waited for months but finally in June I filed for unemployment when it was obvious they wouldn't be giving me any work.

We go out as needed for groceries with masks since they are required. We have met up with the neighbors regularly since restrictions eased and have gone to one family gathering on July 4th. I've gone out with a fellow PS'er for breakfast and antiquing once. We are not going many places though, no parks or other amusement, the kids have been troopers though. I don't really like people in my house so this has been great in a way because you can't argue with COVID!

We are doing a financial overhaul, refinancing, getting into Dave Ramsey so the new normal for us will be A LOT different but this is a good thing. The kids will be distance learning until January. I'm thankful we have learned to live on one income and have the option to keep the kids home.

I really despised the term "new normal" because I liked the old normal but maybe that was too hasty, we certainly have a better appreciation for what's really important now.

We are going to turn you into a YNAB user if you’re game. I’ll tag you in the other thread!

 

[Bron357]

Here in Sydney, Australia we are having an increase in 2nd round infections. In Victoria (the State next door) they have had a dramatic uptick in cases and the borders are closed unless you have a permit to cross. Face masks are now compulsory in Victoria.
In Sydney my day to day isn’t too different except when out shopping (today) probably 80% are now wearing masks. We have ordered some, I expect NSW will also move to compulsory mask wearing.
DD is doing Uni online, there was hope classes could resume in September but with the recent numbers I doubt it. Probably 2021.
DD is currently able to train and play soccer but that too might change shortly.
DD has had a few evenings with friends at their houses, up to 10 people and all of them are studying online and basically staying home. DD is doing a lot of Zoom!
DH is working from home, he goes into the City on the occasional day but drives, none of us want to catch public transport.
We have had take out from local restaurants but we pick it up. I’ve seen my local hairdresser, she practices distancing etc.
walking the dogs isn’t an issue, people are being polite and waving from a distance. At the local shops people are also social distancing while they wait.
My parents are staying mostly home, they visit us, we visit them. Same for DH mother. For elderly people it’s the way it has to be.
But the days of us going into the City for a wander or a spot of shopping and afternoon tea - not happening. Also not going to see Movies, go to the beach or go anywhere where lots of young people hang out. Unfortunately the young ones aren’t being responsible with their behaviour, some are being outright dangerous so it’s not worth the risk of contracting the virus.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Sydney Australia here

The new normal is really strange in the sense that it's not too different to previous everyday life but there's this air of uncertainty.

There's a mini (for now) outbreak in Sydney. 16 new cases today. We keep an eye on the news and act accordingly with what our Premier tells us to do. I'm a huge fan of our Premier. I think she's very balanced when it comes to handling this virus so when she tells us to stay home I stay home even without official restrictions being put in place.

7yo is going to school like normal. Swimming lessons are resuming next week. If they are kept open for the entire term it'll be a miracle but it all depends on our numbers. Things like play centres are a thing of the past. As are play dates with random friends from school.

We get an updated list of hot spot suburbs everyday so obviously we try to stay away from those. I'm planning to go to yum Cha with Little Sis next week if our government doesn't ask us to stay home. They really want us to go out and spend money so if they say "Stay home this weekend" one should probably listen to them!

I too have ordered masks in anticipation of them making masks compulsory.

I think if we can get through this rest of this year with numbers that allow schools to remain open it will be a HUGE thing. At least the little kidlets will have some semblance of normality in their lives. I'm trying to stay home mainly so schools can remain open for them and they can have their little book fairs, mufti days, swim schemes etc.

 

[PintoBean]

I dont go out bc street parking is a nightmare. I get my groceries delivered. The delivery people of late have been wearing their masks under their nose and under their chin. Nice. Sometimes I knock on my neighbors' door across the hall if I'm hungry and smell good food cooking. Once in a blue moon I order a pizza and before heading back up, I knock on my first floor neighbor's door and give him a slice.

I lost my job so I sleep around 1-3AM and wake whenever. I watch a lot of netflix and prime and play games on my phone. I'm in a group chat with a former client rep and former coworker, so I still hear about the craptastic project I was on. I sorely miss having an income. I really miss the luxury that was having a working husband and living with 2 incomes.

I've been packing up and moving stuff I dont need right now in home B and moving it to home A. I had to konmari my wardrobe in home A to make everything fit. I'm 85% done with clothing. Next is shoes. I'm scared.

 

[Austina]

Here in the UK where we live, our life is semi normal in terms of us being eased out of lockdown in stages.

We meet up with our friends once a week for a long walk, but we no longer greet each other with a hug or kiss and we walk side by side, me with her and DH with him. We get most of our food delivered, but when we do go to the shops, we’re happy to wear masks. We don’t go ‘shopping’ for the sake of shopping anymore, but we have been to the shops for a browse and felt quite safe with the measures they had implemented.

We’re able to go to friends houses for a meal, and the weather has been so good lately, we’ve sat in the garden and enjoyed that, and have plenty of room in the house to entertain and still socially distance.

We’ve started playing golf again (after a 17 year layoff ).

The only thing that isn’t normal is that we’ve had 5 holidays cancelled, and haven’t seen our DS and future DIL since 30th December, and won’t be seeing them in person this year at all but thanks to FaceTime, we talk to them several times a week, probably more than we did before.

Finally being able to get out has gone a long way to making life seem somewhat normal and making us feel that this will eventually be over.

 

[kenny]

Long ago, thanks to religions, I used to feel abnormal and inferior.

But my new "normal" is ... gay, normal, & equal.

 

[Missy]

What is "normal"? Is "normal" better or worse than not normal? Life is always changing and in flux. We do the best we can given any circumstance. The pandemic is but one challenge we face. Life has been challenging for us the past couple of years but for who isn't it challenging? I know we are not unique though perhaps our specific circumstances are.

We are adapting as necessary to the pandemic. We are dealing with many issues that have changed our past "normal".

To address specifically the pandemic and the changes we have made. We wear face masks whenever we enter any store. I am still attending PT and have done so since May. My last session is Monday but the only reason I am ending it is because that is all my insurance will cover. Otherwise I would continue with PT. I wear a face mask and it is hot and more difficult to breathe with the mask but that is how I have done all my PT sessions because there are other people in the therapy room doing PT as well plus the therapists.

We do our own food shopping. I have not yet had my hair cut but that is only because I am not motivated to travel all the way to where my hair person is. Greg has had his hair cut and he wore a mask the entire time as did the barber.

I have not gone clothing shopping or bling shopping in stores yet but I have gone shopping for weight machines in person (and happy to say I just purchased one woohoo). All of my other shopping has been done online.

I did visit with a few friends social distancing the entire time. We had one friend come visit us but stayed in the backyard the entire visit and social distanced the entire visit.

I have gone to my doctor appointments. Endocrinology appointments, periodontal appt, dental appt, dermatology appt and next month we have our internal medicine appt rescheduled from April due to the pandemic. Greg has had kidney surgery and a couple of dental appts and a derm appt as well. We delayed our appts as long as we felt necessary and rescheduled when we felt there was minimal risk. That doesn't mean zero risk but we have to live our lives and take care of our health too.

We have been cycling and walking and getting out daily. We avoid others as much as we can and social distance and when we cannot social distance we wear masks. We have not yet gone out to eat in a restaurant but we have enjoyed ice cream (outdoors) at or favorite ice cream shoppe as often as we have been able to cycle there. Not without risk but hopefully a very small risk and one we deemed worth taking for now. Infection numbers appear to be increasing and we re-evaluate our options on a regular basis. It is al in flux and nothing remains static or the same hence we are constantly making decisions based on reality as it is today.

Sadly, Greg's mom died at the end of June and the family decided to go ahead with the funeral and wake and we attended. We had wanted to delay the funeral and wake but his brothers did not agree. So we decided we would attend (and I understand why Greg wanted to) so we wore masks and shields and hoped we were taking the appropriate precautions and would remain safe. Thankfully no one who attended the funeral came down with Covid 19 and it was 3 weeks ago so hopefully that remains the case.

As with all changes we adapt and make the best of all situations. There is no other choice. Adapt or perish.
Or as the full quote goes "Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative. HG Wells.

 

[MMtwo]

I dont go out bc street parking is a nightmare. I get my groceries delivered. The delivery people of late have been wearing their masks under their nose and under their chin. Nice. Sometimes I knock on my neighbors' door across the hall if I'm hungry and smell good food cooking. Once in a blue moon I order a pizza and before heading back up, I knock on my first floor neighbor's door and give him a slice.

I lost my job so I sleep around 1-3AM and wake whenever. I watch a lot of netflix and prime and play games on my phone. I'm in a group chat with a former client rep and former coworker, so I still hear about the craptastic project I was on. I sorely miss having an income. I really miss the luxury that was having a working husband and living with 2 incomes.

I've been packing up and moving stuff I dont need right now in home B and moving it to home A. I had to konmari my wardrobe in home A to make everything fit. I'm 85% done with clothing. Next is shoes. I'm scared.

Hi @PintoBean - I'm sorry to read about the job loss and the huge life changes attached to a move, downsizing and feeling scared. Years (and years) ago I lived through a huge loss of all of the things I depended on (income, housing and so on) to the point that most people don't end up. I wanted to say to you that it felt terrible and scary. Looking back though, I can also say that that low time in my life helped to reorient and promote change and became a point of rebirth and future life happiness and even meaning. I didn't see it then, but now realize it was a real blessing in disguise. I wish you luck and a great new beginning. Hang in there.

From Virginia, USA: Right now, I shuffle between my mostly empty and socially distancing office and home. Staff rotates in shifts. I do go shopping for food, but seldom for self-amusement. Our test rate percent positive in my town is 4.8%, so we have not had a new spike. Hubby and I wear masks. He wears it sullenly, I wear it annoyed that he is feeling a loss of freedom with a frikking mask Which brings me to the other new normal - we're squabbling over politics, motivations for BLM, Marxism, hydroxychloroquine, protesters, rioting, Boogaloo Boys, Antifa....ugh. I have stopped hanging out on Facebook to try to preserve my marriage - I kid you not.

 

[lyra]

I hate that my husband is "back to work" and is travelling again. I'm most worried for his health out of anyone in our family. We all have a bunch of reusable masks that I wonder if I'll ever feel safe enough to go without one. It just became mandatory here to wear masks. I get panicky sometimes when I'm out, just randomly.

I don't feel like life will ever be back to normal, but maybe it will be down the line. My daughter had to cancel her wedding and she moved it to next September. We'll go through with it even if it's just 10 people. But some of the joy went out of the whole thing.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

My DH and I have not left the house in 5 months except less than 15x total only for doctor appointments, take out (3x), and including walks. We will likely not leave the house for 1-2 years, or until there's a vaccine or COVID is over. I am definitely going insane, but I also don't want to get COVID. The risk isn't worth it. Even those whonare asymptomatic have longer term health issues. Just because I'm strict with staying at home, doesn't mean I don't miss my freedom and life. I have the extreme discipline and resilience to do what I believe is the best for my and the community at large's health. My mental and emotional are definitely taking a short term toll, however to me the long term physical health benefits are worth it. We are fortunate we can WFH and we get groceries delivered (an enormous mark-up, but for us it's worth it).

 

[violet3]

I dont go out bc street parking is a nightmare. I get my groceries delivered. The delivery people of late have been wearing their masks under their nose and under their chin. Nice. Sometimes I knock on my neighbors' door across the hall if I'm hungry and smell good food cooking. Once in a blue moon I order a pizza and before heading back up, I knock on my first floor neighbor's door and give him a slice.

I lost my job so I sleep around 1-3AM and wake whenever. I watch a lot of netflix and prime and play games on my phone. I'm in a group chat with a former client rep and former coworker, so I still hear about the craptastic project I was on. I sorely miss having an income. I really miss the luxury that was having a working husband and living with 2 incomes.

I've been packing up and moving stuff I dont need right now in home B and moving it to home A. I had to konmari my wardrobe in home A to make everything fit. I'm 85% done with clothing. Next is shoes. I'm scared.

Sending you buckets of love and positive vibes right now!!!

 

[Mekp]

I live in Ontario, Canada.
We have a 6 person "bubble" (up to 10 is permitted) which consists of me, hubby, our 2 kids, and my mom and sister. We socialize with my mom and sister a few times a week. Everyone else we only socialize with remotely (zoom, and really mostly just text and phone). My husband hasn't seen his family since February. His dad and stepmother formed a bubble with his sister's family, however the kids are now going to camp and his dad (who is high risk) doesn't feel comfortable having contact with them if they are at camp. We may see of they want to join our bubble so our kids can see their grandparents.

DH is out of his usual work (he works in theatre) but is currently working as a delivery person. He is planning to switch into film work as they are already starting to permit filming again.

Our kids have been homeschooled for the last 2 years so we don’t need to make any changes there.

I still won't go into stores. I either have things delivered or do curbside pickup.

Our new normal is feeling very comfortable for me.

 

[violet3]

I have OCD when there is NOT a pandemic. So, to say that I am holed up is an understatement. I do go to the grocery store, the pharmacy, and the bank, but all of those things I have to force myself to do, unfortunately. I do it anyway, so I don't become a shut-in, but I have to mentally prepare for about an hour before I can leave the house.

I live on the East Coast, U.S. and I live a block from the ocean - very grateful for that! But the town where I live is party central, and there are lots of crazy young folks who aren't following the rules and acting like it's any other summer. No masks, no distancing, no nothing. This also has my OCD on high alert. There is a house of lifeguards one street over from me, and more than 10 of them in our town have tested positive for COVID, so I don't even walk on that street. I used to walk the beach at night, around 8 p.m., but I don't even do that anymore, because the beaches are still CROWDED at that time. Bars and restaurants are only at 60% capacity, so the people have nowhere to go, and just stay on the beach all evening. My husband continues to walk the beach, but I do not. I'll go after the summer is over, which cannot come fast enough. I walk the dogs up and down the street, stay far away from others on the street, and come home.

I went to a gathering for a dear friend recently - I was uncomfortable, but told that it would be 8 of us, and we could social distance and wear masks. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. It was over 20 people, lots of kids, and no one wore a mask or social distanced. One woman actually hugged me before I knew what was happening. I was an emotional mess for about a week after that, and this Sunday will be my 14th day since, so I've calmed down, but I was REALLY angry after coming home from that, and I have said no to everything I've been invited to since that time.

I live next to my dad, so I do see him, because we cook for him and he lives alone, so we're basically one household - me, my hubs, and my dad. But I don't hug him, because he's 74, and I'd like to keep him around for a long time. He and I had a long talk about this last night, because he doesn't like to follow the rules. I told him, if we don't get on board (and believe me, where I live is the epitome of the problem in this country) we'll be doing this for YEARS to come.

Big hugs to anyone dealing with mental health issues right now - I know mine are exponentially worse than before Corona Virus. Xoxo

 

[redwood66]

No new normal for me. I still avoid people as much as always.

 

[LJsapphire]

I am in the UK.
I am a bit of a hermit anyway. I don't go shopping regularly and we don't go to pubs/bars. We used to eat out once a week with my parents.

My fiancé does the food shopping and he wears a mask. We have been to the mall a couple of times and wore masks. I've just let my son go away for the weekend with his Dad, he is going to Ireland to see his grandfather. They will be going on the ferry & staying on his grandfather's boat so very little mixing anyway. I got him a reusable cloth mask to take with him. (I think they are only compulsory if children are over 11 and he's 10 but never mind).

Since mum died I have ordered the shopping for my dad online, they used to get it online but at the height of the outbreak here, they couldn't get delivery slots. They were being prioritised for the vulnerable, my mum had CKD but hadn't applied to be added to the vulnerable list until it was too late.

My son has been missing his friends, we only just moved closer to his school (in December) and he was looking forward to being able to play with them in his spare time. He has only been able to play online with them, so he has become even more obsessed with gaming.

We would probably have been having more days out during the school holidays, will see what we can do. We are going to go camping within England/Scotland/Wales. I don't want to go abroad this year, but I know some people who have.

We mainly do things as a family, and I have a couple of close friends. We have visited them & socially distanced. No masks for visits, only public places.

 

[AprilBaby]

I’ve been unemployed since March. Don’t know if I will ever go back as lots of dental hygienists are leaving the field. Normal is going to bed very late, sleeping till whenever. Housework, cooking, reading. I’ve been watching tv for the first time in ages. No going out except a Monday’s I watch the youngest grandchild while mom and dad work at home. Life is boring.

 

[OoohShiny]

I am not sure where you live.
And I am not sure what your issue is with masks and social distancing during a deadly and wildly contagious pandemic.
Masks and social distancing are necessary during this pandemic, other than if you live in someplace like New Zealand which has no community spread (or virtually no community spread?).

If you are in a country or region that has community spread, no matter how small, NOT wearing a mask or social distancing is endangering others.

It's a small price to pay for another 6-12 months until there is a widely available vaccine.

Edited to add--this is probably not a society than any of us want to live in. But we all have to do our part to protect society as a whole.

I think I've posted before that the WHO position has been that medical-grade masks, fitted properly and in medical settings, do make a difference, but 'face coverings' made out of any old material - being touched and moved and used more than once and stored in a handbag and gathering fluids for onward transmission (if infected) by touching other things - make such a marginal difference that the science is far from conclusive either way so far, and the positives amount to 'reminding people to be compliant' with the regulations and 'making mask wearers feel like they stand out less'.

New research is being undertaken re: their effectiveness and aerosol (or not) transmission, but if all the WHO (and the BBC, and the Government...) can say to justify their introduction in the UK recently is 'there is a growing body of evidence', but then not actually produce any to support their new mask-wearing position, I remain highly dubious as to their effectiveness.

If they made such a difference as to require them to be mandated for all public spaces - indoor, outdoor, wherever - then surely we would have seen that difference by now in other countries that have had mask-wearing recently mandated, be seeing a visible drop in case numbers and deaths?

And surely the mask-wearing mandated in Spain and other EU countries would have stopped the increase in infection rates that we are now seeing?


Either way, if only one in, what, 2300 people? in the UK have it right now (the latest ONS figures IIRC) and the risk of infection when being with someone for 15 minutes is 1.3% at 2m and 2.6% at 1m, then passing someone in a shop for 2 seconds must mean one's risk is (1/2300)*(0.026)*(2/(15*60)) = 0.00000003% (if my maths is correct).

That is such a tiny risk as to effectively be zero - you are more likely to win the lottery than catch it off someone you walk by in a shop if my maths is right - so why are masks now mandated in shops? If masks reduce transmission risk by single-digit percent (which I'm sure I've seen put forward somewhere), then what is the point of them when the risk is already so low?


IMO it is the Government trying to be seen to 'do everything they can' right now - because if the forthcoming enquiry shows they screwed up and cleared the elderly from hospital and into nursing homes without a confirmed-negative C19 test, seeding the most vulnerable community of all while trying to 'create capacity' for a wave (of infections) that never came, they want to be able to say 'but we did all this afterwards?!'.

 

[PreRaphaelite]

My new normal is frightening. It is changing me as a person, hopefully for the better.

I have been alternating between feeling up to the challenge and totally overwhelmed and helpless. I try to remind myself pretty often that the truth of anything and everything in the universe is generally to be found somewhere between the worst case and the best.

No, I don't have Covid as far as I know. How could I possibly know, though? It isn't, believe it or not given that I'm in a Covid hotspot, my gravest concern right now. I am concerned now with practicing love, as a verb. It is a difficult thing for me. But in the long run, this will make me a better person. Less selfish. Wiser. Less shallow.

Love as a verb means doing unselfishly for others, and is especially difficult when the others in the equation are at extreme odds with us. It is emotional weight training, in a sense. You see, my neighbor, who is as flawed as any human I know, is currently scared and suffering, and I am comforting him by phone daily, and in person (masked) weekly. My experience in doing this particular service is surreal, and I'm sure it is a test of humanism. He finds himself in a scenario caused mostly (99%) by his own actions and made incredibly worse by Covid in our community. He nevertheless cannot manage to change, and the full weight of his own mortality is crushing him emotionally. But he is a life. I am trying to honor that.

Tolerance is my lesson now. My new normal.

He is a racist. He is a sexist. And yet, he is vulnerable, and despite his lack of self-awareness and general unrepentance, I am helping him. I'll be the one taking him in for the MRI next week. I've already taken him in for at least ten of his fourteen cardiac stents. I am listening endlessly as he rails against the injustice of having to quit smoking, and drinking, and doing drugs, and moaning about how awful his ex girlfriend is. Endlessly.

I'll be the one petsitting/housesitting while he has one of several tumors removed before autumn. And I will cook, and clean the house, and walk his dog, and follow up with his doctors by phone and make sure he gets his meds, and eats wholesome food as he recovers. I'll be the one he calls when he is ready to take his own life. I will be the one who sits with him as he realizes that he doesn't want to die. And no matter what the outcome of 2020 is for him, I will be the one who is changed by it, deepened, made more tolerant still, more able to see good people and bad behavior and understanding that those two things are not only common but in fact constant, near-universal human weakness.

My new normal is that as the world burns around me, I am carrying water for someone else, someone who votes the opposite party, someone who thinks my gender and sexuality makes me less than him, abnormal, deficient. I'm quenching the trembling lips of someone who in his bullying immortal superiority used his mouth to utter slurs.

I've already changed a bit. Facebook has less power over me because none of the machinations and protestations by friends matter. It's now totally foreign to me to participate in political discussions, because the people who used to irk me no longer do, and the people with whom I agree no longer seem righteous. Where once I was a very heavy user and admin'd multiple pages and spend hours and hours on the site, I'm now contemplating deleting it. Not out of anger, but rather as a kind of surrender. It simply no longer means anything. It doesn't matter anymore.

People still do. Flawed, frightened, and suddenly mortal people matter. Which is to say, all of us.

 

[Volute]

@PreRaphaelite, I found your post very moving. You are a gifted writer. I find myself wonderIng what has inspired you to undertake this act of service, which strikes me as a spiritual exercise. I hope that this person doesn’t leave you depleted and that in the end you will find yourself stronger. I hope that you are doing this for yourself, and that the knowledge you gain from it, while painful, will be worth it. Best wishes to you.

 

[Musia]

My new normal is frightening. It is changing me as a person, hopefully for the better.

I have been alternating between feeling up to the challenge and totally overwhelmed and helpless. I try to remind myself pretty often that the truth of anything and everything in the universe is generally to be found somewhere between the worst case and the best.

No, I don't have Covid as far as I know. How could I possibly know, though? It isn't, believe it or not given that I'm in a Covid hotspot, my gravest concern right now. I am concerned now with practicing love, as a verb. It is a difficult thing for me. But in the long run, this will make me a better person. Less selfish. Wiser. Less shallow.

Love as a verb means doing unselfishly for others, and is especially difficult when the others in the equation are at extreme odds with us. It is emotional weight training, in a sense. You see, my neighbor, who is as flawed as any human I know, is currently scared and suffering, and I am comforting him by phone daily, and in person (masked) weekly. My experience in doing this particular service is surreal, and I'm sure it is a test of humanism. He finds himself in a scenario caused mostly (99%) by his own actions and made incredibly worse by Covid in our community. He nevertheless cannot manage to change, and the full weight of his own mortality is crushing him emotionally. But he is a life. I am trying to honor that.

Tolerance is my lesson now. My new normal.

He is a racist. He is a sexist. And yet, he is vulnerable, and despite his lack of self-awareness and general unrepentance, I am helping him. I'll be the one taking him in for the MRI next week. I've already taken him in for at least ten of his fourteen cardiac stents. I am listening endlessly as he rails against the injustice of having to quit smoking, and drinking, and doing drugs, and moaning about how awful his ex girlfriend is. Endlessly.

I'll be the one petsitting/housesitting while he has one of several tumors removed before autumn. And I will cook, and clean the house, and walk his dog, and follow up with his doctors by phone and make sure he gets his meds, and eats wholesome food as he recovers. I'll be the one he calls when he is ready to take his own life. I will be the one who sits with him as he realizes that he doesn't want to die. And no matter what the outcome of 2020 is for him, I will be the one who is changed by it, deepened, made more tolerant still, more able to see good people and bad behavior and understanding that those two things are not only common but in fact constant, near-universal human weakness.

My new normal is that as the world burns around me, I am carrying water for someone else, someone who votes the opposite party, someone who thinks my gender and sexuality makes me less than him, abnormal, deficient. I'm quenching the trembling lips of someone who in his bullying immortal superiority used his mouth to utter slurs.

I've already changed a bit. Facebook has less power over me because none of the machinations and protestations by friends matter. It's now totally foreign to me to participate in political discussions, because the people who used to irk me no longer do, and the people with whom I agree no longer seem righteous. Where once I was a very heavy user and admin'd multiple pages and spend hours and hours on the site, I'm now contemplating deleting it. Not out of anger, but rather as a kind of surrender. It simply no longer means anything. It doesn't matter anymore.

People still do. Flawed, frightened, and suddenly mortal people matter. Which is to say, all of us.

Very powerful, thank you.