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Weird behaviour of colleague / food related

737lizakg

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
414
My close friend would actually buy full on presents for her boss every time she went anywhere. She was so eager to please and climb the ladder she didn't understand how weird and inappropriate it looked. Despite all her friends telling her so. She stubbornly continued saying 'if he doesn't like them he can regift them". She is socially awkward, and singularly driven to please authority figures. If her boss had ever forbiddenfrom bringing gifts she probably would have stopped, but then done other weird boundary pushing instead. For example she also would offer to babysit her boss' kids. There was nothing nefarious going on, just bald ambition from someone who was ever so slightly on the spectrum. This guy may be similar.

The suggestion to tell him firmly that you don't want him bringing food specifically for you is a good idea. If that fails, the suggestion to place the food in the kitchen with a note saying it is to share is a great idea. Yes, even the soup! Good luck!
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
5,679
thibking of the cultural thing again
so my Gary was a builder and for most of the time ive been with him he mainly did bathrooms
he was always greatful when the homeowner offered a cup of tea and morning tea was always appteated and he loved when Indian customers made him snacks but once he was doing work for a lovelly older pacific island lady
she went all out cooking huge cooked lunches every day even though he said i had made his sandwhiches and he was ok and full and not hungry and watching his weight and everything else he could think of always being polite and saying thank you
it just got so embarrassing
lucky a bathroom doesn't take that long so he wasnt working there too long
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
38,680
Just reading your post now @Roselina and I am sorry you are going through this. I probably would have initially found it sweet but then I would have felt the repeated behavior after I asked him to stop annoying and maybe even creepy. No matter his intention it makes you feel uncomfortable and that is enough to say enough. You said to please stop and his behavior continues. Not OK and not cool no matter his intent. His intent does not matter once you asked him to stop. Now he knows it is making you uncomfortable and if he doesn't stop he is guilty. I would firmly explain enough is enough and if he doesn't cease and desist with preparing food for you action will be taken. Whatever that action is that you can take. IDK if you have an HR to report him to or if you can ask that he be moved to a different office or even something more drastic. Once you told him how uncomfortable it is making you feel and he continues he is culpable and needs to be held responsible for his actions. It is no longer sweet and thoughtful but becomes creepy and harassing behavior on his part. IMO.
 

avalonrose

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2016
Messages
52
He is certainly tone-deaf to be doing this during a time of pandemic! I would simply tell him that because of the pandemic, you do not feel comfortable eating food that others' have prepared and leave it at that.
 
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