Wedding Invitation Requesting Monetary Gifts...

[CDNinNYC]

I''ve received invites in the past with "No Boxed Gifts Please" on them. In those cases, they definitely did mean they had a preference for cash.

 

[FrekeChild]

I''d probably give them an envelope. With a certificate that reads "We have made a donation in honor of your wedding at such and such charity."

Hey, it''s not boxed right?

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Wow, how rude!
My fiance and I don''t really need anything since we''ve been living together awhile. But we definitely didn''t want to say anything about a cash preference because we didn''t want to be rude. We didn''t even include any registry info in the invite itself because I read somewhere that it implies that we expect gifts.

I would be really tempted not to give her the bowl too, I mean, it''s kind of like getting an advanced notice that they don''t like the gift. :/ Personally, I''d respect their preferences and send cash, and give the bowl to someone else who would maybe appreciate the personal gesture more.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 4/16/2009 3:02:14 AM
Author: FrekeChild
I''d probably give them an envelope. With a certificate that reads ''We have made a donation in honor of your wedding at such and such charity.''


Hey, it''s not boxed right?

Good idea Freke!

 

[Winks_Elf]

Date: 4/16/2009 9:47:55 AM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 4/16/2009 3:02:14 AM

Author: FrekeChild

I''d probably give them an envelope. With a certificate that reads ''We have made a donation in honor of your wedding at such and such charity.''



Hey, it''s not boxed right?

Good idea Freke!

Lol...

Only works if you know the couple is passionate about a certain charity. Then again, it is just as tacky as requesting no boxed gifts.

 

[sap483]

So I talked to my mom about it, and she said the same thing you all said (thank you!). I''m going to give them the bowl, because that''s why I bought it in the first place. I''m going to put my annoyance aside and remember that this is someone I care about, she''s someone that I was very close to growing up. So although we''ve grown apart over the years, and although I certainly don''t agree with her behavior, I''m going to just give her the bowl.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Tacky, tacky, tacky...

The best advice I can give, is do what you feel comfortable doing. You know your relationship with this person better than we do...

If my best friend had invites that said, "no boxed gifts" I''d think it was tacky... but I''d still want to give her a nice gift.

If you were going to get her a bowl & another gift... then in lieu of gift #2, give her the check.


Its tacky as hell, but that doesnt change that its a friend/relative... If its just an acquaintance, however... then keep the bowl for yourself and save the money

 

[Haven]

Date: 4/15/2009 5:56:20 PM
Author: VRBeauty

From what you''ve written, I assume this is someone you care about. If it were me I''d send them the gift I had ready and call it a day. No need to send a check (you are extraordinarily generous, in my book) no need to hold it against them in any way.

I understand that asking for cash, or referring to a gift in any way is considered ''the height of rudeness,'' but inversely, I think that forgiveness is the height of charity. So... (since you''ve asked

) give the gift in the spirit in which it was bought... as a celebration of your friend''s marriage, and as something that you hope will remind them of their special day for many years to come.

I agree with this entire post, and I especially love the bolded part. Well said.

 

[mamie]

I''m surprised this hasn''t been asked, but are either the bride or groom Indian or similar culture? "No boxed gifts" is a common thing at Indian weddings.

 

[mystiqkal]

i just wanted to play devils advocate for a sec...sure its not the most polite thing to ask for money, but dont you want to get them something that they want? I mean if it was a birthday present and someone said "i want this as a gift (whether it be cash or some other tangible item)" wouldnt you want to get them what they wanted? its not like i would put this on my invites, and I really do think its a bit tacky, but if i were planning on getting them a gift and the specifically requested something, I would get it for them.

Some people just dont "get" that its tacky. thats fine, not everyone knows the "rules". There are other ways to ask for money (like honeymoon registries) that arent frowned upon but it all boils down to the same thing, asking for money is askng for money.

I just dont see a reason to take this so personally. and i especially think that you should "punish" them by taking away from what you were going to give them. did this one line on their invites change their friendship to you over the years?

 

[kama_s]

Date: 4/16/2009 11:14:41 PM
Author: mamie
I''m surprised this hasn''t been asked, but are either the bride or groom Indian or similar culture? ''No boxed gifts'' is a common thing at Indian weddings.

Perhaps, but it''s worded MUCH differently. My father made all the invitations (because I live thousands of miles away and I didn''t even have a chance to look over anything since I was busy defending my thesis) and this is what he put on the invitation:

Shower of your blessings and best wishes is all we hope for and we request you not to bring any gifts

Most people didn''t bring gifts, a few very close family/friends gave me cash (which I gave to my father since he paid for the wedding) and most brought me beautiful bouquets of flowers.