Wedding Etiquette: Gifts for expensive weddings

[jstarfireb]

I chose the third option because I would never go without bringing a gift, but I am strapped for cash these days. But like Cammy said, a gift shouldn''t be an expectation. I don''t like the idea of covering your plate, because the expense of your gift shouldn''t have anything to do with how expensive or inexpensive the bride chooses to make her wedding. At the same time, I am very conscious of what it costs me to attend the wedding, and I have to tailor my gifts to that in order not to go broke. Bottom line: A gift should be as generous as the giver can or will make it.

 

[andex23]

I voted #2. Wedding gifts are a gesture, but if I have to spend a lot to get there (expensive) I probably would give a cheaper gift than had it been a casual, local wedding.

We''re having a DW and we are not expecting any gifts from those who choose to attend (at $2K per person for a week in Fiji). However, we were "encouraged" by our parents (who invited every long lost family member that they have...(many whom they don''t know their names, but they know that "Aunt Sally had 2 kids and you need to invite them...I think one is named Laura and she may or may not be married, and the other is a boy...) just so that they can have "payback" from every graduation/wedding gift that they may have sent. Hence we have a registry list of a whole bunch of stuff that we don''t really need.

Also, I think that people give gifts in relation of either "how well" you know someone, or "how much they need it." The couple that makes 2-3x more $$ than I do might not get as nice of a gift as the couple that just graduated from school...

 

[Elmorton]

I voted #1, though I don''t think there was an option that matched my views on this - basically, DH and I have a set amount that we spend on wedding gifts, sometimes a little more if it''s a close friend.

If the wedding is farther away and thus costs more for us (airfare, lodging, etc) - then it''s our choice to attend, and though we''re not fans of our friends dictating our vacation locations/schedules, we view a far away wedding as our vacation. We still give the same gift/spend the same amount. But, if we truly could only afford to go to the wedding, then we''d still give a gift, it would just be of a smaller monetary amount.

I absolutely do not believe in "covering the cost of the plate." What kind of party the couple can afford to throw doesn''t really have an effect on the gift I choose to give - I give what we can/what we''re comfortable giving.