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Wedding band blues

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zzaps

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
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I think only the folks here will really understand the disappointment I''m feeling over this.

I went to a jeweller to get my wedding band custom made. He made my e-ring and has an outstanding reputation, so I was more than okay with the decision to leave it to him.

We talked extensively and I gave him my specs -- I needed about nine diamonds around the band and I wanted 5 pointers. he even whipped up a wax mold to show me. He suggested that we might have to use 4 pointers instead, for structural integrity, and while I didn''t love the idea, I told him if we absolutely had to, it would be okay.

Forward three weeks and he calls me to tell me the ring is ready. I was so excited and I asked him if they managed to do the 5 pointers. And he hesitated and said, "well, the tcw is 0.32, so..." I did the math really quickly to figure out that he used 3 points for each stone. I expressed my surprise and disappointment. He told me to come in and have a look at. Which I''ll do. But, still... this means I''m going to have to ask him to re-do the ring. And I''m so disappointed my first wedding band turned out to be anything less than I hoped for.

I don''t think I''m being difficult... (but maybe a bit emotional). The difference between 3 pointers and 5 pointers is, well, really pronounced in my eyes. When I saw a similar ring in a shop, it had 4 pointers and my gut reaction was that the stones had to be bigger, so I already know I won''t like the 3s.

I wanted something substantial to go with my Tiffany repro e-ring, but not the shared-prong eternity band. I didn''t want a pave-type ring in the first place, and I feel like what he''s going to present to me is so much less impressive than I hoped for. I''ll be honest, every time I think of the ring, I choke back tears. The way I see it is that if I wouldn''t have used 3 points for an eternity band, how could I like them as spaced apart on a band? I might as well have asked for the 5 pointer shared prong eternity.

I''ll have to make a trip to see the ring tomorrow and I really don''t want to. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the jeweller? He''s such a lovely man, but I''m afraid he''s going to try to talk me into taking this ring. Whatever the case, I won''t take home a wedding band that doesn''t feel absolutely perfect.

With two months to go before the wedding, I know there are far worse things that could go wrong, but I just feel so disappointed. It''s probably just wedding-planning hormones. I''ll post an update after I see the band tomorrow... Wish me luck!
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I''m sorry. I don''t think you''re being unreasonable. I would simply say nicely to him what you just said to us, about why you wanted 5 pointers (good reason). I would also ask why he used 3, as he had to know you wouldn''t like that...

Good luck!
 
Oh no
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I am so sorry that it turned out that way... I would take the trip and see what the ring looks like. If you REALLY dislike it, and want to get 5 pointers, you then have to stick to your own decision and convery your desire to him. What did the jeweler mean by "structural Integrity "? He''s making a new ring, I don''t understand what he means by that... Ultimately, you are paying for this ring, and you should be happy with the result bcause you are going to be the one wearing it. I don''t think you can blame this on your wedding/hormones. you had an idea and that is what you are entitled to obtain. If you do not like the band, you will have to be firm and try to get what you''d like.

Also, if there were going to be smaller than the .4 that you and him talked over, why didn''t he call you to discuss any change in the design before entitling himself to put 3 pointers in there without your consent?
 
Oh No
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So sorry to hear about this situation! The difference between 3 & 5 pointers is significant! I''m not quite sure why they had opted to create a ring out of 3 pointers if you specifically asked for 5(possibly 4). I completely understand the element of structural integrity, but you should have been told of any changes prior to the creation of the ring. I know this is a stressful time, but try not to get upset. If you don''t like the ring, you just let them know that you will not be purchasing it and why. I think the worst thing is to have someone guilt you into a purchase and when you go home, you regret it. Go in with an open mind, but stick to what you want and are paying for. Please keep us updated!!
 
You are definitely not being unreasonable I would be upset too if I were you! Stand your ground with him and make him re-do it the way you wanted or tell him you''ll find another jeweler that will actually listen.
 
oh no, I remember your post looking for an inspiration ring to show your jeweler. I'm so sorry for this. If he didn't make it to your specifications, then definitely I wouldn't accept the ring either.
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I hope it works out when you get there to go over it with him.
 
I am so sorry you`re going through this. I think you`re being very reasonable. You have asked for a very specific product, and your jeweler has produced something quite different without consulting you about his changes. I`d go have a look at the ring, but if you`re not totally in love with it, I wouldn''t buy it and probably go elsewhere without giving this jeweler a second chance.
 
awww, im sorry. sending you the utmost in support and positive vibes on getting a wedding band you LOVE
 
You are not being unreasonable! You should have the ring remade to your original specifications. Good luck!
 
I would tell him that''s not what you wanted and to redo it. Grr for him making what he wanted in stead of what you wanted.
 
Date: 8/12/2009 12:39:07 AM
Author: marcyc
I would tell him that''s not what you wanted and to redo it. Grr for him making what he wanted in stead of what you wanted.
Ditto.
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Grr on your behalf.
 
I would tell him that''s not what you wanted and you want it done again..if he doesn''t want to redo it then he can refund your money
 
I really hate it when people take it upon themselves to tell you what they think you''ll like. Whether it''s a jeweler or a haircutter, I just wouldn''t stand for it! I used to stay quiet, not say anything, not make any waves, but I was always disappointed. I don''t do that anymore.

This is YOUR wedding band, not his. You are entitled to have exactly what your heart desires and your mind envisions. Go in, take a look at the ring, compliment him on his work if you feel he deserves it and tell him very nicely it''s not what you had in mind for yourself. You want exactly nine stones of five points each. If he won''t accomodate your wishes, there are plenty of highly reputable jewelers we can all refer you to. Good luck!
 
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UPDATE

You guys are so incredible. Thanks so much for your supportive and understanding words.

So, now comes the moment that I have to conclude that the ring of my dreams was always only in my head, but can''t actually be made to last.

My jeweller, still an amazing and skilled professional, was completely invested in making me walk out happy. Before I got there I checked around the diamond district and the consensus was the same -- almost nobody wanted to put 5s in my setting/size because it just wouldn''t work. When I walked in, with all of your forum voices in my head, the first thing I said before seeing the ring was that it just wasn''t what I wanted. He told me immediately that he would make me another one, but he sat me down and explained why my ring ended up the way it did. And it had everything to do with him trying to satisfy the greatest number of my requirements for the band. In the end, he asked me not to take it if I didn''t like it, said he would make me the ring with the 5s, no problem, but explained that the girdles of the diamonds would be compromised and the setting would be weak in this particular ring, but that he would make it anyways, if I wished. I opened the box to look at the ring and... it was great! Then he let me wear it around his office while he gave me a tour of his facilities and workshop (SO COOL!), and about an hour later, I looked down at the ring and decided it was definitely my ring.

I''ll post photos of the band shortly and tell you more of my thoughts on it! I''m so glad this worked out for the best! It is not at all what I imagined, but I blame that on my overactive imagination. Thank you all for your thoughts!
 
I am so glad for you that you are now happy with your ring. It is so disappointing to have something made and it doesn''t turn out how you wanted. Your jeweller sounds very reasonable and obviously knows what he is talking about. Can''t wait to see the pics I am sure it''s just lovely.
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Pictures will have to wait another few weeks -- I decided the ring was perfect, but it needs two more 3 pointers to be just right. Of course, my jeweller has no problem with that at all. Fabulous resolution to this whole thing! I''m delighted :)
 
I"m so happy for the fantastic resolution. He sounds like a very reasonable and utmost professional jeweler.
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and sooo glad it looks fantastic to you!
 
So glad that things worked out and that you are happy with your ring now. Looking forward to photos.
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Aw, I''m so glad it worked out in the end!
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However, I can''t help but wonder why he couldn''t have just explained that to you in the first place? It would have saved you this initial anxiety...


But, all''s well that ends well. We''ll be looking forward to your pics!
 
Oh GREAT!!!!! It all worked out! I cant wait to see pics!!!
 
I just love a happy ending! I cannot wait to see your band
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I`m so happy it all worked out for you!!! Can''t wait to see your band!!!
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Wonderful! Can''t wait to see the pics of it!
 
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