AshleyS.McD
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2009
- Messages
- 5
my bf and i have been together for 4 years. we were best friends in high school and just grew into being a couple. he''s wonderful and i wouldn''t trade him for the world. we''ve known for years now that we want to be married one day, we were just waiting till he felt ready to announce it to the world and have a formal engagement.
a little back story. i''m 21, he''s 22. he''s still in college, living at home, and saving a whole lot of money to make a life for us. his dad pays for his college as long as he lives at home.
i was in college. once the recession set in really hard, i couldn''t afford to pay for school anymore and have taken time off and am working at a local high school. i''m living with my parents again. we have a goal of november 2009 to have our own furnished place again.
in december we began shopping around and finally purchased a ring. he hadn''t really saved anything at the time, did it all on credit, and knew that he would still be just fine financially. he didn''t just give it to me because he wanted to be romantic and retain some of the tradition. he talked to my parents, got their blessing, then talked to his dad.
he made him take my ring back. he threatened to kick him out and not pay for his schooling anymore. he said he didn''t respect him as a man, that''s what convinced him to take it back. he wants his dads respect. he wants him to be proud of him and happy about us taking the next step in our relationship. so even though it broke my heart, he took it back.
this month we started shopping again. he has saved more than %50 of the cost of a new ring (i felt unattached to the original style i had wanted) and i agreed to go with a mois center to save even more money (because that was most of his dads complaint, saving money and cost of diamonds.) he was going to buy it today and didn''t. his dad wants him to wait longer.
we had a date set that we wanted to get married and it was for a very practical reason. he''s going to be transferring colleges in the next year and his tuition costs are going to increase exponentially. we are also going to be paying for his tuition ourselves. if we are married, he wont have to use his parents income on his fafsa and he will get aid or at the least subsidized loans. if we don''t get married before a certain date, he definitely wont get any help. his dad thinks a 3 month engagement is sufficient to plan the wedding that we dream of. all the women out there know it''s not.
i''m just stressed out and hurting. i keep getting my hopes us. this should be our decision and his dad just keeps pushing it farther and farther away. i just wanted a little unbiased opinion.
<3ash
a little back story. i''m 21, he''s 22. he''s still in college, living at home, and saving a whole lot of money to make a life for us. his dad pays for his college as long as he lives at home.
i was in college. once the recession set in really hard, i couldn''t afford to pay for school anymore and have taken time off and am working at a local high school. i''m living with my parents again. we have a goal of november 2009 to have our own furnished place again.
in december we began shopping around and finally purchased a ring. he hadn''t really saved anything at the time, did it all on credit, and knew that he would still be just fine financially. he didn''t just give it to me because he wanted to be romantic and retain some of the tradition. he talked to my parents, got their blessing, then talked to his dad.
he made him take my ring back. he threatened to kick him out and not pay for his schooling anymore. he said he didn''t respect him as a man, that''s what convinced him to take it back. he wants his dads respect. he wants him to be proud of him and happy about us taking the next step in our relationship. so even though it broke my heart, he took it back.
this month we started shopping again. he has saved more than %50 of the cost of a new ring (i felt unattached to the original style i had wanted) and i agreed to go with a mois center to save even more money (because that was most of his dads complaint, saving money and cost of diamonds.) he was going to buy it today and didn''t. his dad wants him to wait longer.
we had a date set that we wanted to get married and it was for a very practical reason. he''s going to be transferring colleges in the next year and his tuition costs are going to increase exponentially. we are also going to be paying for his tuition ourselves. if we are married, he wont have to use his parents income on his fafsa and he will get aid or at the least subsidized loans. if we don''t get married before a certain date, he definitely wont get any help. his dad thinks a 3 month engagement is sufficient to plan the wedding that we dream of. all the women out there know it''s not.
i''m just stressed out and hurting. i keep getting my hopes us. this should be our decision and his dad just keeps pushing it farther and farther away. i just wanted a little unbiased opinion.
<3ash